 وأقولوا في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال وأقولوا قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأولوا الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام وعليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته نبدأ as always by praising Allah عز وجل by asking Allah to exalt the mention and grant peace to our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم his family and his companions إن شاء الله تعالى this episode is a continuation the second part of our sort of tying everything up and wrapping everything up as it relates to our previous discussion and we said there were a number of ahadith a number of ayat that i alluded to in previous videos i kind of mentioned it in passing but i didn't really get to it in detail so i wanted to bring those ayat in and also just to mention a couple of extra points that come to mind إن شاء الله تعالى so we're asking everyone after every hadith after every ayah pause the video and have a think where you think it fits in and what are the benefits you can take from it so we're going to start with a hadith of our mother Aisha رضي الله عنها ما ضرب رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم خادما له ولم رأه ولا ضرب بيده شيئا the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم never struck a servant of his nor a woman nor his wife or any woman and he never struck anyone or anything with his hand where does this fit into our discussion muslim family the concept of marriage the ideal wife the ideal husband where do we put this in and what are the benefits have a think so إن شاء الله تعالى you had a chance to pause and think about that so i would put this under the ideal husband that the ideal husband is not the one who wife and we spoke in the hadith of umzara about the woman who said that whether he cuts your head or makes your head bleed or wounds your head or wounds your body or does both at the same time and we said that even though we're going to discuss in the topic of النشوه was إن شاء الله marital discord we're going to discuss about the issue of whether our husband is allowed to for want of a better word hit his wife or even tap his wife is that allowed or not allowed what are the conditions and rules and regulations around that we're going to talk about that إن شاء الله تعالى but as the best example that we can take the example of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he never ever hit a woman he never raised his hand to a woman صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلي nor did he raise his hand to anything except in battle صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلي and there are other narrations that indicate except in battle in battle so only time so he's solo I say them raised his hand because Allah as we just sent him رحمة للعالمين as a mercy to all of mankind so he set the best example in that regard our next حديث by the way that was حديث was in صحي مسلم from آيش رضي الله عنها our next حديث is in مسلد اليمام أحمد from آيش رضي الله إذا أراد الله عز وجل بأهل بيت خيرا أدخل عليه مرفق if Allah wants good for a household he puts softness and gentleness compassion that's just one word rift but i'm just bringing out those words softness gentleness compassion between them where does this fit in so إن شاء الله تعالى you had to think about that I believe that this can fit in pretty much anywhere in our discussion because it talks about أهل البيت an entire family an entire household of people that all the people in that household that الله عز وجل if he wants good for them he puts a rift between them softness compassion gentleness kindness husband to wife wife to husband children to parents parents to children rift والنين softness and gentleness so I think that's where that one fits in also صحي مسلم عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عن قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا يفرك مؤمن مؤمنه إن كريها منها خلقا رضي منها آخر أو قال غيره حديث from أبي هريرة إن صحي مسلم the messenger of الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يفرد من يفرد من يفرد من يفرد من المؤمن if he finds within her a characteristic a mannerism or a habit that he dislikes he will find another that he is pleased with or he will find others that he is pleased with where does this fit in have a think إن شاء الله تعالى you took some time to think about that one and take the benefits from it so I believe this fits in the characteristics of the ideal husband that the ideal husband he doesn't hate his wife he doesn't he doesn't feel that enmity and hatred even though he will find characteristics that he doesn't like habits that he doesn't like behavior that he doesn't like at the end of the day when none of us are perfect except for الأنبياء والرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام that الله gave them that perfection the prophets and the messengers عليه الصلاة والسلام that الله gave that perfection too in terms of the way that they deal with their families and the way they behave you're all going to have behaviors between husband and wife and to be honest you can take this also for the for the wife as well you're both husband and wife are going to have behaviors that the other one doesn't like try to minimize them work together to get rid of them talk to each other about them we'll talk about that إن شاء الله تعالى in the topic of النشوه was discord and disagreements but ultimately if you have something you don't like you have a lot of things that you do like a lot of other things that you do like so there's no need for a person to feel like or you know i for example a husband he says you know that i'm not i'm not happy with my wife i don't like my wife and then he mentioned something like salt in the food she puts too much salt in the food or she you know doesn't listen to me about this small thing or i don't like the way that she talks in a certain way or i don't like the way she does this small little things but if you dislike something you're going to have loads of other things that you like so ultimately it's not for a person to have that kind of hatred or strong dislike for their spouse because of a behavior that is irritating them or a characteristic that's of course both spouse is going to work to get rid of those work to get over them work to minimize them but ultimately they're not going to make that a reason for their marriage to be on shaky ground or on rocky ground because of you know this because of something small a small behavior or a small characteristic that they don't like our next حديث عبدي الله بن مسعود رضي الله عنه قال and i'm just going to quote your part of the حديث here the original part of the حديث in صحيح مصدر but i'm just quoting your part from from another source of the same حديث ايوما رجولين رأى مراءة تن تعجيبه فليقم إلى أهله فإن معها مثل الذي معها so the translation of this حديث عبد الله مسعود he said and the حديث has a story to it but we're just going to mention the part that i want from the حديث which ever man sees another woman i a foreign woman not his wife another woman that he is she impresses him you know he's attracted to her she you know is alluring to him let him go to his family i let him go and be intimate with his family i let him go to his wife and satisfy his need and his desire from his wife for she has the same as she has i she has the same as the other one has where are we going to fit this in to the characteristics of the ideal husband or the ideal wife or the concept of marriage or the muslim family this one might be a little bit of a tricky one to think about have a think about it okay so you may be able to think about that one i actually brought this on the topic of beauty and the topic of when we said تنكح المرأة ولي أربعة and one of them was so what i wanted to show here is the statement of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم فإن معها مثل الذي معها for what is with the first one or what is with his wife is like is the same as what is with the other one is to ultimately if a wife is to beautify herself and to make an effort that that will be enough for her husband that she has what every other woman has and she shouldn't you know sort of it's not a matter that his wife has to be the most beautiful woman in the whole world she has what the other one has at the end of the day he's going to get the same satisfaction and the same enjoyment and the same benefit that he would get from any other so what i brought this for is a further clarification on the topic of beauty but she makes an effort she makes the biggest effort she can with with whatever Allah has given her from the beauty that Allah has given her but i wanted to bring this to show that it is enough and also you could bring it in the topic of the ideal husband in the sense of him being satisfied with his wife and not letting his eye go out to other women now it is natural that a man may walk past a woman or in these days and الله المستعان he may walk past a picture of a woman that has been through as we said photoshop and whatever else and it comes into his heart to اجيبو who he thinks wow she's really amazing beautiful and his heart starts to go like as if the shaitan is pulling him and the prophet says him explain this like it's like a shaitan it's like a shaitan that's pulling him that way what does he do he goes to his wife and he is intimate with her because at the end of the day he will get the same satisfaction the his wife has what the other woman has and so i wanted to highlight this specifically from the point of beauty that a woman shouldn't feel that or well i can't satisfy my husband if he's if i'm not really beautiful or if i'm not really whatever it might be what people want tall or really whatever people find attractive in in a woman but ultimately it's not like that she has everything that she needs to make her husband happy that's why i wanted to bring it she has everything she needs she has what every other woman has she has whatever what she needs and also from the characteristics of the husband the ideal husband that he should not let his eye wonder and if his eye does without him being without it being deliberate settle upon another woman let him go to his wife because he will find satisfaction in that and he will find contentment in that and that will take is that other thing that he saw out of his heart as is mentioned in the other narrations of this حديث our next حديث عن أبي هوريرا عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال this حديث زين أبخاري المسلم from the حديث أبي هوريرا from the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم محاولة لكانا بس the woman was created from the rib and the most bent part of the rib is the highest part if you go trying to straighten it you will break it and if you leave it it'll still be bent it'll still be crooked so treat your women well now i'm gonna actually just make a variation here i'm gonna ask you to pause the video and think ولكن سأسأل لك أن أقوم بتأكيد بشكل أفضل من أفضل والأفضل من هذا أفضل والأفضل و لا أقول أن أفضل هو الشخص الذي لا يوجد أفضل من بنت رب لأن كلهم يوجد ذلك و هذا هو مجدداً كيف الله إذا أجل يجب أن يطلق المجموعة ولكن ما يمكنك أن تأخذ من أفضل هنا أفضل might be easy but what are you going to take from the ideal wife here as well as the ideal husband أفضل أفضل okay إن شاء الله تعالى you had to think about that so here the ideal husband no doubt is that the husband is one that doesn't try to break his wife ie he doesn't try to correct every small fault because ultimately she was created with a certain crookedness in the sense of that she was created from the bent rib and she inherited a certain thing in that and ultimately if you try to correct every small fault you'll snap the rib and if you snap the rib it is it's divorce your divorce because you want to correct every little thing in your wife you want to correct every small tiny little miniature mistake that she makes you want to correct it it's like a person who takes a rib that has a bend in it and he keeps on trying to make it straight until snap the rib is broken he didn't treat her well he didn't look after her he just ends up splitting from her she ends up miserable he ends up miserable because he's trying to correct every small fault instead he looks at what's important أل أهم فلمهم start with the most important the next important and so on and he you know goes about things in that way he doesn't try to correct every small tiny little thing and pull her up on every little thing as for the characteristic of the ideal wife that we take from this then I take from this that she does her best to guard her tongue because the scholars they said that the meaning of وَإِنَّا أَعْوَجَشَيْنْ فِيُضْلِعْلَى that the most crooked part of the rib is the upper part the scholar said it's the tongue is that sometimes she says things that with her tongue she doesn't mean so she might say to her husband I've not seen any good from you or it was never good to marry you've never done anything good for me and so on so the ideal wife tries to reduce the amount of times and minimize the amount of times that she might say something that is uh not right or she might lash out with her tongue or she might hurt her husband with what she says and she tries to minimize that to the absolute minimum uh possible that's what I would take on the topic of the ideal wife from that particular حديث our next حديث وعن آيش رضي الله عنها أنها قالت ذكر رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم خديجة فتناولتها فقلت عجوز كذا وكذا قد ابدلك الله بها خير منها قال ما ابدلني الله خير منها I'll just translate the first part of the حديث آيش she said that the messenger of الله صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned خديجة so I had a go at her I said something bad about her I said she's an old woman this and that Allah has replaced her for you with someone better than her the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said Allah has never replaced her with better Allah has never replaced for me with better than her لقد آمنت بحين كفر الناس وأشركتني في مالها حين حرما الناس ورزقني الله وولدها وحرماني وولد غيرها قلت والله لا أعتبوك فيها بعد اليوم the remainder of the حديث آيشة she said that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said wallahi Allah didn't has never replaced her with better she believed in me when the people disbelieved in me she helped me by giving me some of her wealth when the people didn't give me anything and Allah gave me children from her when Allah had not allowed me to have children from others and his other wives آيشة she said by Allah I will never آيشة she said by Allah I will never it's kind of like not a blame but I will never sort of have a go at you about her after today or I will never have a go or I'll never say anything like that to you about her after today what can we take from this have a think so actually there's a lot of benefits you can take from this حديث لكن أريد أن أخذ من أجل من the point of view of the ideal wife أن ترى ما هو مباشرة الخوفة الذي قلت لهم عن خديجة أن عندما جميع الناس لم تقلق بالخديجة منهم و عندما الناس لم تقلق بهم خديجة قلت لهم و هذا من خارجة المتحدة التي أريد أن أفكارها هو أن الخوفة تساعدها و أخبارها الآن أكثر ذلك يتبعون من خديجة رضي الله عنها و المباشرة الخوفة التي قد تساعدها و خديجة رضي الله عنها و هي تساعدها she said I will not you know I'm not going to say anything about her, I'm not gonna have a goal about her to ever after today and that is also from the characteristics of the ideal wife in terms of that she shouldn't say anything about a co-wife or anything that would make her husband upset like that or to say anything like that And she admitted her fault. رضي الله عنها. She admitted that she had made a mistake about that. And she shouldn't have said that. But why she said is because the Prophet is like some. Always used to mention خديجة with good. And he always used to do a lot for even though خديجة had passed away رضي الله عنها. He used to even her friends he would send gifts to her friends. And he would look after her friends because of how much he had that love for خديجة and how excellent خديجة was. فهذا هي حقاة جميلة تسكريباً من عائلية عائلية ولكن أريد أن أخذ من الوقت أنك تساعدة عائلية تساعدة حتى إذا كانت في الأشياء المساعدة مثل المساعدة وما يجب أن نفعلها جيداً لكي يجب أن نساعده ونساعده ربما في الوقت عندما لا أحد يساعده المنزل الأخرى في مرحباً في which الله عز وجل قلت والذين يقولون ربنا هبلنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قررات أعيون وجعلنا لمتقين إماما those who say our Lord give us, grant us from our wives or spouses and our offspring that will be the pleasure for our eyes and make us an example for the pious هنا أريدك أن تأخذ لك المنزل الأخرى والمنزل الأخرى لا أستطيع أن أفعلها جيداً لكي تساعدة في الفيديو إن شاء الله تعالى أنك تساعدة في الفيديو لكي تفكروا عن ذلك أولاً لا أعتقد أن دعاءة هو ممتاز دعاءة for the husband to make for the wife to make that allah give us from our spouses and our offspring that which is a pleasure for our eyes from the point of the ideal wife the ideal husband being a pleasure being قررة عين for your spouse that when you look at them you just you feel satisfied you feel content and that doesn't mean that the beauty necessarily beauty might be a part of it but it also just means when you look at them you feel like that's you know I'm I'm happy قررة عين what makes your eye the coolness of your eye the pleasure of your eye and also واجعن لنطقين إمام that both the husband and the spouse should be an Imam as an example the husband and the wife should be an example for the pious people the husband should be an exemplary husband and the wife should be an exemplary wife because one of the meanings of Imam is an example for others to follow so the husband is an example for other husbands to follow he's like an exemplary husband and the wife is an example for other women to follow she's like an exemplary an exemplary wife so we can take that also from the ayah our next حديث is a حديث of ثوان رضي الله عين the Prophet saw us and in this حديث he said ليتقذ أحدكم قلبا شاكرة وليسانا ذاكرة وزوجة مؤمنة تعينه على أمر الآخرة لأ one of you take you know that one of you take from this world a heart that is grateful and a tongue that remembers Allah and a believing wife that will help him in the matters of his آخرة in another narration تعينه على أمر دينك ودنياك that she will help you in matters of your دين and your دنياك where do we take or what do we take from this so إن شاء الله تعالى you had to think what we take from this is very simple in the characteristics of the ideal wife is that she is someone who has three characteristics mentioned here she's مؤمنة she's a believer and that means that you know when we really look for the Dean first it's the Dean that matters and she helps the husband in his آخرة she helps him to get closer to Allah and she helps him in his دنياك in his worldly life she helps him in his دنياك keeping him chased you know meeting his needs looking after him and looking after his house and his property and so on she helps him in his دنياك and she helps him to get nearer to Allah سبحانه وتعالى that's from the characteristics and the most important of the characteristics of the ideal wife we said is that a Dean the one who is the woman of religion in our next حديث أرباع من السعادة وأرباع من الشقاء فمن السعادة المرأة الصالحة تراها فتعجبك وتغيب عنها فتأمنها على نفسها ومالك ومالكه صلى الله عليه وسلم قال four things are from happiness and four things are from misery so from happiness and I'm just going to focus on one he said a righteous wife when you see her she impresses you and when you're absent from her you trust her with herself and with your money and I'm going to continue the حديث the Prophet says I'm just quoting the part of it ومن الشقاء and from the from misery المرأة تراها فتسوءك وتحملوا لسانها عليك وإن غبت عنها لم تأمنها على نفسها ومالك حديث is in الحاكم الحاكم reported it from سعادة بن أبي وقاص he said from misery is a woman that you look at her and she makes you feel you know she makes you feel horrible when you look at her you just feel terrible and she carries her tongue against you and she uses her tongue against you and when you are absent from her you're not trust you're not able to trust her with herself or your money what can we take from this سواء إن شاء الله there's lots of things to take from this on the ideal wife first of all that a woman should be when a husband looks at her he feels pleased with her and that can be that she takes care of her appearance with where she behaves it can be her Islam it can be her all the aspects of the ideal wife the husband looks and he thinks الحمد لله this is the idea we're so happy with her and that it's not when he looks at her he's like you know either she doesn't she isn't presenting herself nicely or I mean we said she isn't making the most of what she has or that she has bad manners bad characteristics or she's not worshiping الله the way that he would want or she doesn't have the right characteristic or good manners and also this issue of the tongue that she doesn't she's not a one with a sharp tongue all the time beating her husband up we talked about the husband doesn't hit his wife we talked about the Prophet ﷺ didn't hit any servant of his and nor did he hit any wife or any woman of his but Subhan Allah some women beat up their husbands with the tongue some women I mean some women perhaps some women beat up their husbands physically I can say it's it's rare but it's very common that there are women that beat up their husbands with their tongue just the tongue it's always against the husband always has something bad to say about the husband so this is not from the characteristics of the idea where she has to reverse this sometimes she's going to say certain things that's natural husband's going to sometimes get angry it happens but generally speaking she's going to be somebody who controls that tongue and keeps it under control and doesn't keep hitting her husband with it all the time with those words and this and the next point that we're going to take is that when the husband is away he feels safe with her for herself her covering her حجاب and so on and also with regard to the wealth of the husband now with the wealth of the husband that doesn't mean she's not going to spend anything she's going to spend it on her needs according to what husband's given permission and agreed to and so on but what it means here is that he knows she's not going to squander his wealth he's not going to come back and she's like yeah I bought this and this and this and this and this from your wealth his permission and he doesn't know about it and then all of his wealth or a lot of his wealth or a large amount has gone and also he feels safe with her he trusts her with regard to herself in terms of her حجاب in terms of the way she interacts with other people and so on so that's a great benefit that we can take from this حديث our next حديث that we're going to take is a حديث in البيهق from the حديث of أبي أثينا that he said خير نسائكم الولود الودود المواسية المواتيه إذا تقين الله وشر نسائكم المتبرجات المتخيلات هن المنافقات لا يدخل الجنة من هن إلا مثل الغراب الأعصم هذا جميل جدا حديث حديث ل to be honest The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said the best of your women are the one who is loving and will bear you many children the one who is comforting and the one who is tolerant if she has Taqwa of Allah or if they have Taqwa of Allah and the worst of your women are the ones who are متبرجات they are not covered and they are متخيلات they have arrogance they are the hypocrites they will not none of them or not one of them will enter جنة except for like the الغراب الأعصم the crow with the red legs and it's very rare and extremely rare that one of them will enter جنة so what do you think about this where can we put this so this is relating to the ideal wife so we have four characteristics we have الولود الولود we mentioned we have also المواسية المواتية the one who is comforting to a husband we've talked about this she is لتسكنو إليها she comforts him and she's tolerant she's easy going with him and she has Taqwa of Allah that's the fifth one she has Taqwa of Allah and also a warning against two things التبرج which is not having the proper حجاب and the worst of your women are المتبرجات ولا تبرجنة تبرج الجاهلية don't expose yourself and go out without your حجاب like you used to do in جاهلية the worst of your women are the ones that are متبرجات they expose themselves they're not the proper حجاب and we're not just talking about the headscarf and that's it don't get me wrong we fully understand how difficult the حجاب can be and how much support our sisters in Islam need and that's a given and the husband should support his wife and that but it is not it's not okay it's not good it's not acceptable that a woman she doesn't keep a proper حجاب and she goes out and adorns herself either by not keeping a حجاب properly or by she wears perfume or jewelry or makeup or whatever it might be and she goes out like the women used to go out in the time of جاهلية the Prophet ﷺ said شر نسائكم the worst of your women are المتبرجات the ones who go out without their proper covering متخيلات the ones who have that arrogance they are المنافقات they are the hypocrites and here and the hypocrite here is نفاق عملي it's نفاق which is in action and it's not the نفاق which makes you a catheter which makes you a disbeliever but know that it's a symbol of the منافق لا يدخل الجنة منهنة إلا مثل الغراب الغراب الأعصم none will enter paradise from them except like the crow with that the rare crow with the red legs and the red features يعني it's a rarity that one of them will enter جنة أي in the first instance يعني like with the people who enter جنة in the first instance سبحان الله that's a very very worrying hadith والله and we really have to say to our sisters in Islam take care of your hijab and I know people going to watch this video at different levels going to be some sisters who are just starting with their hijab just struggling maybe you know sometimes sometimes not it's not to say to you that you know give up and stop and whatever but it's just to understand that it's not something that is easy in the sight of Allah سبحانه وتعالى it's not something small in the sight of Allah سبحانه وتعالى so we said from this the ideal wife we had those five characteristics at the beginning and also she's very careful about her covering and also how many women were hijab and then makeup and perfume and so on this is also from تبرج الجاهلية from the exposure exposing themselves like the way of جاهلية even if it is less than some of the other examples that we mentioned then it still falls under that category so it's very very important she takes care of the hijab and that she is humble and of course that is something that both men and women should aim for to be humble to be not to be arrogant and not to have not to have pride from the حديث of أبي هريرة رضي الله عن خير النساء التي تصره إذا نظر وتوطيعه إذا أمر ولا تخالفه في نفسها ولا مالها بما يكره هذا حديث من أمام أحمد وخبرته من أمام النساءي من أبي هريرة أفضل من المساعدة هي المساعدة أنها تجعلك حقاً when you look تبعك when you command وأنها لا تذهب لك with herself أو her money في ذلك التي تصره إذا أين سنضع هذا فإن شاء الله تعالى أنت لديك أفضل about it هذا again relates to بعض الأشياء الأفضل من أمام أحمد أو أفضل أحمد أفضل من المساعدة are the ones that we've mentioned إذا كنت تظهر لها your content that doesn't mean that she necessarily has to be amazingly beautiful but she makes an effort with her appearance she does the best she can and her manners and her behaviour and her religion when you look at her you're happy and when you command her in that which is not disobeying الله عز وجل she obeys she's obedient in terms of and that we're going to talk about the husband as the head of the household and how the family is set out and the interactions between the husband and the wife and she doesn't go against her husband with herself in her anything relating to herself who she spends her time with how she dresses how she behaves she keeps herself in terms of her chastity and so on nor her wealth in something her husband would dislike so there's a lot of characteristics there regarding the ID wife some of them we had mentioned before so that's all we have time for in this episode and that concludes some of the many أحاديث on this topic to be honest we didn't cover all of the أحاديث nor did we cover all of the آيات but we just covered what الله عز وجل made easy for us to mention on that topic in our next episode we're going to go on to talk about the marriage contract itself and what that entails and how that is structured and then later after that we'll go on to talk about the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife that's what الله made easy for me to mention الله knows best والصلاة والسلام على بين محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعي