 You know I went to the Sylvester's tribute a few months back and it was it was the most amazing experience that I've had dancing this year because we were there in these 47, 50, 60-year-old bodies not trying to dance like 20-year-olds but dancing in this kind of present flesh and that's the thing we can we don't have to dance like that anymore but we can still you know be in the collective groove and it's important that we are and so let me just read and then we're gonna just rotate do a rotation of readings and and see how long we can go in the beginning God created the dance floor in the DJ booth now the beat was formless and empty darkness was over the surface of the deep and the spirit of God was hovering over the breaks and God said let there be disco and there was disco music God saw that this disco music was good and he separated the house from the disco God called the east coast house garage and the west coast he called warehouse and there was evening dance and there was morning dance the first day of house and God said let there be an expanse between the clubs to separate club from club so God made the expanse and separated the club under the expanse from the club above it and it was so God called the expanse deep house and there was evening and there was morning the second day and God said let the club under the sky be gathered to one place and let the dry ground appear and it was so God called the dry ground tea dance and the gathered waters he called sweat and God saw that this was good then God said let the DJ produce groove seed bearing groove and dance on the land that bear fruit would seed in it according to their various kinds and it was so the land produced dance DJs bearing seed according to their kinds and producing and producers bearing fruit would seed in it according to their kind and God saw that it was good and God said let there be lights in the expanse of the ceiling sky to separate the day from the night and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years to come God made two great lights the disco ball light to govern the center ceiling sky and the lesser laser light to govern the DJ booth he also made the stars and God said let the sweat and the tears and the tears and the drip from every living creature that dances come forth and God looked around and said it was all good I only feel short when I'm around Marvin or read after him hello good evening my name is Lorenzo Ray Lozano it is an honor to be here and it is an honor to be with you and to be honoring Sylvester I was at a I was at esta noche the first time I heard Sylvester I was a Sunday after I stopped being stopped studying to be a Pentecostal minister I went from there to esta noche and although by the time I got to esta noche it was no longer the esta noche that that other folks rolled through but it was still it was still a different a sunoche than the one people rolled through today and so this is this is an honor to to the girls who took care of me when I was 20 and stuck into esta noche not knowing what I was doing raised by drag queens mama taught me good manners never to chew with my mouth open to speak when spoken to to do as she said not as she did mama even told me about the birds and the bees but never about the birds and the birds or the bees and the bees she told me to never have sex with the girl until I married one so I followed her advice and had sex with the man instead but she didn't teach me about that all I learned about men I learned from drag queens after mama had done her part to raise me I went on to be raised by the star stars to be her retired stars of the stage of esta noche it was there that I learned that size matters only if he doesn't know what he's doing I learned that swallowing and spitting were two different things but not opposed I learned that life seen through a sequenced dress is different and love and commitment can mean so many things to so many people I learned that tight jeans didn't make you available just a center of attention there I learned that to be brown and take on a white name as a performer was an abomination to the Birkin Maricona that one should never admit to flirting or being a bottom and that sometimes the past can be erased nearly as fast as seven layers of nylons and duct tape magandangabe good evening I'm Joel Tan and I'm also sister Baba Ganesh of the sisters of perpetual indulgence and so let me just say the connection to Sylvester for me right now is very biographical because I just reread that beautiful biography by that wonderful sociologist and it's so clear to me now reading it the fourth time why identify personally so much with it coming from LA coming up here and being completely dazzled by all of the woo woo magic and then eventually you know cut a long story short finding my way to the sisters in the same way that Sylvester found his way to the cockettes and all of the amazing potential of that and really to kind of bring and honor Jose Munoz and in the ways that Sylvester and queerness is really about being in the future so to that end I feel like those are just some of the things that tie me to our queer titan and so to that end I um I wanted to share little bits of a manuscript that I put together with Honey Sound System and a local artist Daniel Leon and it's a walking meditation it's a guided tour through the Castro and it's the Castro Mecca procession it's downloadable it's free on the sisters website and there's a map but this is a guided tour that isn't your straight ahead tour but more of an impressionistic poetic guide through the Castro and through time and the time was 1979 and the music was Sylvester and it was when our founding members walked out of their apartments in on Easter Saturday of 1979 and decided to go out and terrorize the clones wearing nuns habits Mecca Holy Land Castro Queer Doe this walk is rebirth this walk is queer devotion you are walking breathing slowing down time let all distractions melt away rebirth when we walk we are reborn with each new step no end no end to the journey no end no end never how can the heart and love ever stop opening if you love me you won't just die once in every moment you will die into me to be reborn into this new love die your way begins on the other side become the sky take an axe to the prison wall escape walk out like someone suddenly born into color do it now born into color born into color born the beginning reborn to begin again dying into light dies the end to die again rebirth Easter born into color born the beginning born to begin again how do you die how do you die again why are you reborn what is your purpose what does it matter san francisco opens her golden gates to queer does and hookers from every planet to begin again to die again rebirth mecca holy land Castro Queer Doe this is called the the quinceañera rapture at first we laugh bakito sweating lips puckered as to kiss eyebrows furrowed at the center a study in boyish focus stomping sliding spinning precociously coordinated he looks like a mini galant troubling the hardwood of the tiny elk's lodge dance floor bowtie unraveled cummerbund off kilter hair flattened blue black wet on his rounded forehead eyes burning with his own salt damn i thought bakito just sat in corners orchestrating epic cross genre action figure brawls chubaca body slamming batman barbie filleting the living shell off a ninja turtle's back with a power ranger's sword but this all the eyes are on him now even the surly chamberlain's stare bakito notes the unwanted attention retreats to the rustling taffeta forest of damas faces the wall and continues his communion the dj watches smiles give thanks gives thanks for his muse searches the crate and finds the right disc drops it on the two fades out the funk and slides into something smoother something iridescent a voice slogans through the song now man now woman now him now orgasm bakito goes liquid mounted by the music now baby boy brow furrowed mouth slack brain checked out dj on a contact high fathoms deep in a groove song follows song sure as breath dj's tears pass for sweat child is a marvel finds spaces between the beats and slides in dancing sometimes double time sometimes half time stubby fingers flair flared like a sevillana fan the boy finds his hips and his rump and he unfolds in the strobes 12 o'clock now parties over bakitos ruffles wilt from the wet the dj packs his gear collects his check a great v of sweat down his back the boy's too hot to come down yet he shuffles in his corner echoes ricochet between his ears boppy takes the boy in his furred arms gazes at the small beloved but suddenly unfamiliar face he hoists the boy into the car seat just two miles down the highway the boy is out loose as a fresh corpse heart beating out a dream time beat body exhaling music like steam thank you so this this poem is for someone who recently passed and I knew him mostly from from a dance floor and you know if you're if you know me you know I have a whole cosmology built around the dance floor with the dj as preacher and the regulars as attendants who you know help usher in the spirit and the blessing of the space with the baby powder you know I believe in it and this is for someone who recently passed was unsettled by the long awkward hug that the song gave him when he walked on to the dance floor has dance between here and there and nowhere and somewhere before but not since he heard that the boy had passed somehow knows what to do when the song come and you need to hold it up house music means we are not so pulled up as not to be able to break down house music means that one day everything will weep and you got to stay ready because one day song will greet you not with baby powder but with tissue those who enter will become those who are waiting to go in song usually like to throw us about like bingo balls in a caller's cage but not this night his night he swayed in one old low wave something was up knew this was for the one who left this world's twirl knew to knew to be a seance knew who was a ghost and who wasn't knew we don't say I'm sorry for your loss here we say get your life or if you go in I will hold your skirt down house music is second line and I'll fly away house music Paul bears ushers eulogizes enters and commits back to the earth house music means we are our own quiet hour and our bodies are repast to ladies and gentlemen on behalf of club taboo I asked that you please direct your attention to the DJ booth above as we review the dance floor etiquette there are six speakers in this room take a minute to locate the speaker closest to you note that the nearest speaker may be behind you count the number of people dancing between you and this speaker should the dance floor suddenly experience pressure all stay calm and listen for instructions from the DJ house music will always drop down from above whenever you need air place the beats over your mouth and nose pull the straps of house music to tighten it if you do not know where the house music strips if you do not know where the house music straps are located raise your hands if you're dancing with the children make sure that the house music is on you before attempting to help the children in the unlikely event of some drunk girl bumping into the DJ's turntables and the music stops do not evacuate carry on with your carry on in the unlikely event of a record skipping house music has life rafts located under your seat and feet strobe and spotlights will lead you to your closest groove while we wait for takeoff please take a moment to Terry sometimes death is like a stretch mark on your ass you got to really be looking over your shoulder hard in the mirror and twisting your waist to see it six been released from many a prison got many a promotion one many a bed stacked much paper lived to tell the tale escaped within an inch of my life brass ring caught on the last go round secret kept money stay hidden just fair enough for the bus snake eyes look away punch swung hit nothing but air last round of drinks bought by somebody else fish biting instead of fighting royal flush come right on time yell bingo before anybody else man with a job say i'm just right man with a hundred dollar bill say he just might rain stay away from my new suit lawsuit drop spare key still under the mat enough salt and pepper for this fried piece of chicken wrapped in the tin foil and the oven waiting in a can of paps blue ribbon hidden behind the gone bad milk the lights stay green parking meter already full of quarters mr charlie looked the other way empty tank still got room empty tank still bleeding heart and a good preacher mean dog don't smell no fear poker face make gunman thing twice she take your nine and her eight item line bullet tell you a secret dj keep playing the song you paid all this money to hear him spend everybody but your family see you dancing with your arms around some boy we are not math men house music means if you dance you are never happy counting your blessings so being a being a good sister i was thinking about the process of canonization and so i went to wikipedia and i i really thought about through the steps of what it is to be beatified to be this and that to be considered blessed and it was so beautiful it's i mean it's probably that again that catholic of me in me but it was so gorgeous to think about Sylvester in that context and so important especially since that was the time and he was one of the figures and titans that brought in queer i believe lgbt to queer as gen xers did that now so you're on the walk with me and um queerdos and hookers let me just say this the last piece also had a bit from roomy and this piece will have a bit from renaldo arenas and um herb came so all the saints queerdos and hookers welcome to your holy land mecca holy land gastro queerdo this walk is leaving and heading toward this walk is queer sanctuary this walk is leaving and heading toward sanctuary have you ever just wanted to leave have you ever imagined life somewhere else are you seeking refuge are you here have you ever imagined life somewhere else have you ever lied about where you came from so now what happens when we get there will i find a life will i find true love will i find peace will i meet my end oh so that's what happens when we get there sanctuary have you ever just wanted to leave from the doorman years ago one fled his native cuba in a boat and settled in the united states he was 17 then and his entire past life had been left behind humiliations and warm beaches fierce enemies and loving friends whom the very persecutions had made even more special left behind was slavery but the complicity of the night as well in the cities made to measure of his restlessness unbounded horror but also human quality a state of mind a sense of brotherhood in the face of terror all things that just like his own way of being we're alien here mecca holy land castro querdo you are walking breathing slowing down time from the words of herb cane who are the sisters of perpetual indulgence for the delectation of historians a century hence sister missionary position explains that we are an order of gay men dedicated to the promulgation of universal joy and the expiation of stigmatic guilt we have 17 sisters and two novices who spread joy and put on theatrical presentations some of us do have regular jobs to support our habits and with that slide pun we slide off in the direction of the nearest no host bar singing along with charles pierce san francisco open your golden gates this walk is leaving and heading toward this walk is queer sanctuary this walk is leaving and heading toward mecca holy land castro querdo have you ever been in love you know that kind of love it just makes you want to squeeze them kiss them squeeze them some more get sweaty with them on the dance floor write poetry with them that's the kind of love i have for marvin k white i would like to offer what i call a poetic lap dance to marvin k white so what you need to do is look at him the entire time and i'm not much to translate but i will translate one word um and that is the word hoto um and that means um means faggot um and i'm going to say mexican spanish i think um yeah i don't know that other because i know we all have our own versions i think so anyway i don't see no dollar bills out you bring out the hoto in me the maria feliz eyebrows are sexually confused macho the tecate in lime the saturday morning shock of hickies and phone numbers the you are the one i would hold hands in public with while cruising down my old barrio allow you other men in bed still believing promises of monogamy and forever definitely definitely you bring out the silvestre in me the disco in me the limp wrist the tight jeans and spiked hair in me the velvet dress on a sunday morning unshaved legs with white nylons in me the spine of frida in me the butcher koyoshoki in me the screaming supermarket baby in me the government cheese in me the the fetish of tattoo does on a bare chest in me the jay pronounces why is me the greasy mullet like wavy hair in me the chihuahua desert pecans and red meat in me the love of death in me no you do oh you know you do you bring out the drag queen in me the perpetual attitude in me the juan gavril trip and fall in me the reverence pirate katrina in me they gave our bathroom bump in me the bd bd bum bum in me the the oakland 3am god what do we do at 3am in oakland i won't tell the fondling on the dan floor in me papacito my sweet obsession i am the psycho who stalks your home at night make sure you're there when you say so i would find a man just to cheat on him with you i want to bottom top flip it and reverse it with you i want to commit a forgivable sins and bask in them i want to trade gray goose for boons farm coke for crack banana republic for the gap you bring out the ocho giving celoso in me the i'm going to cut if you don't stop staring at you in me the high hill stabbing as an ocha diva in me the blank stairs at football games in me the texas syphilis break out in me the age pandemic in me the out magazine never seen mexican cover boy in me i'd mispronounce my name for you light a cigarette and watch how others lust for you ready to burn whoever gets too close i am the excessive drinker the insatiable size queen the sex addicted promiscuity you burn out the superficial lust at first sight in me the vile jealousy in me the voyeur and exhibitionist in me the leather daddy in me i want to be your loca only your poppy be my poppy i want to show you the way hotels do it the way we were meant to um i'm going to read for you a 10 minute excerpt of a short story stories called fat cookie and this is a part of a collection an ever-growing collection of a semi-autobiographical short stories i have about growing up on migrant farm worker camps in san juan batista down in san bonito county and this is kind of in the middle of the story so i'll give you a little bit of context and fat cookie is is basically a she's about 15 and she's a big girl and she's a bully and like a lot of bullies she's also very charismatic and i and the other children who live in that labor camp are kind of in her thrall and she terrorizes us and we keep following her into whatever terror she she creates for us because bullies are charismatic that way sometimes and that's the one other piece of information i should say is that she had just had a huge very physical fight with her mom a couple of days earlier so this is where we pick up two days later me silvi olga lila and caesar are hanging out by the canal trying to burn a tire to roast weenies and have a weenie feast when cookie walks up with a big smile on her face we haven't seen her since the fight with her mom but she looks okay the bruise on her forehead is not too bad scratches are no big deal and she has her hair down whoa cookie has a lot of hair when it's not in a braid most of all i can't believe how happy cookie looks look what my mom got me everybody she's holding out a fancy radio with a handle like a suitcase wow that's nice i say it's a panasonic says cookie does it work as caesar of course it works as cookie i thought your mom was mad at you i said she was then her stupid boyfriend mani and her got into a big fight and i took her side and he left in the middle of the fight and now we made up and this is my prize does it play good music as lila only the best music does it play the hustle as caesar all the time every day i can hear the hustle five or six times you guys want to hear it everybody says yes cookie says come on then let's play american best stand over by the tractor barn where there's no adults to ruin everything bring your weenies we can cook them with my lighter it's kind of dark in the tractor barn i don't like it says olga come on says fat cookie i'll grab my big flashlight and we can use it for a spotlight a wow fat cookie is really nice today cookie runs over to her house and comes back with her big boxy camping flashlight everybody's all excited and we march out towards the barn and we make a list of top 10 songs to hear on the radio the hustle of course and kung fu fighting seasons in the sun tell me something good smoking in the boys room and then we get into a fight about i honestly love you the girls like it but me and caesar and cookie hate it at the barn cookie grabs a hoe and uses the handle like a giant pencil drawing big boxes in the dust what are you doing cookie says silvi i'm getting ready for you guys to play american bandstand how does it work i asked everybody has to dance but you have to stay in your box i'll be the judge and pick the best dancer the most best dancer will get a special grand prize okay everybody nods their heads and cookie explains the next steps now get in your boxes and i'll turn on the music only the best dancers will have a chance so you better shake it till you break it cookie turns on the radio it's some dude talking boo she changes the channel we hear goombas boo country music double boo finally we get to big daddy mario v on k-top he's doing top 40 cookie turns the volume all the way up it's loud this radio is boss man the first time we hear from big dad is the local motion everybody likes it dance you kids screams fat cookie everybody looks at everyone else but no one does nothing i said dance retards dance then we start to giggle fat cookie walks up behind caesar and smacks him on the head it's a really good slap you can hear how much it hurt don't say caesar well then dance retard all of you dance and everybody starts dancing the local motion lila's still clowning around and cookie kicks her in the ankle lila kneels to the ground crying and rubbing her ankle oh she says this is not a game says cookie bending down so her face is right above lila's this is american bandstand so you better stay in your box and you better dance good so everybody starts dancing but maybe not so good oga's the best fat cookie keeps watching her and she says pretty good pretty good pretty good whenever she does a fancy step then cookie shines the flashlight on oga she clicks it on and off and everybody starts hooting and shouting and when the song's over everybody claps cookie says round one winner is oga oga is the world lightweight champ oga turns around and shakes her skinny hips at us big daddy mario v starts talking about the next song he says it's going up the charts like a rocket as soon as it starts everybody cheers it's kung fu fighting the number one greatest favorite of all the kids in the camp everybody starts kung fu fighting jumping and punching and kicking and going what when the song goes what and the competition is strong now because this is the best song my face is red and i'm sweating so hard it's getting in my eyes and hurting me i just wipe it away and i keep on dancing cookie shines the light on me i feel like i look good i feel like i have the five fingers of death and the dragon kick too fat cookie is cheering and laughing everybody's relieved that cookie's happy and not hitting anybody pretty good everybody says cookie lila stop copying everybody make up your own damn steps or i'll kick you again this is champion dancing everybody now we're dancing harder than ever and cookie's really exciting she says this is better than american bandstand this is mexican american bandstand everybody goes all right and right on sister and we clap real loud and scissors dancing super hard now his bony elbows and arms are kung fuing all over the place he punches and he kicks and the flashlight beam follows his face he pushes out his lips and looks out the side of his eyes like bruce lee then he pretends to dance with numb chucks and it's almost like you can see the numb chucks from the way he's moving the song finishes up and we're all breathing through our mouths like we just ran a race this is a very hard decision says cookie there are many many champion dancers here at mexican american bandstand but the winner is caesar caesar pumps his arms in the air he does a fancy double kick and takes a bow and everybody cheers for him now it's time for the grand prize says cookie she sticks her hand into her pocket and she pulls out a teeny tiny purse she unzips it and sticks her fingers in she pulls out a 50 cents coin 50 cents wow says silvi that's right says cookie this is for the big prize now let's see what's next on the new radio big daddy puts on rock your baby this i love this song this is a great song our dancing is great cookie is happy everyone's happy that's what i think but as soon as we start dancing cookie starts to complain again no listen to the song stupid you have to dance with soul put some soul into it i look over at caesar and ogre and we just shrug our shoulders and keep dancing i don't know how to put some soul in it what does that even mean i look around and to be honest i don't think nobody knows how to do that cookie looks at us shaking her head like she can't believe what she's seeing she puts her fingers on her forehead like we're giving her a headache then cookie puts the flashlight on the floor steps into the square and starts to dance at first she looks kind of goofy just standing there like a tree hardly moving at all i guess she's listening and then something changes and cookie lifts up her round face towards the ceiling and it's like the song is taking over making her lighter like an astronaut on the moon her big hips and shoulders are moving and her tiny hands are drawing butterflies in the air everybody stops dancing and just stares she sees a staring and she don't care she keeps on dancing and her hair looks so pretty the way it's moving and whipping across her face this is boss man sometimes sometimes cookie looks like she's dancing with an invisible dude singing him the song looking at him like she's in love and then she looks kind of sad and kind of happy at the same time other times the invisible dude disappears she's just dancing for herself she doesn't look at her feet she just moves it's just her and the music at the end of the song cookie's bent over and her hair is hanging in front of her face like a black curtain her arms are open like two bent wings she is breathing hard and her back goes up and down every time she breathes the song finishes and she just stays there and no one says nothing cookie stands up and pushes her hair back everyone's cheering for her and her cheeks get red so who won the 50 cents says Caesar I did says cookie I dance better than anybody I won I'll see you kids later I got a big life to live cookie grabs her radio and walks towards the houses moving her hips to the music she thinks she's still big says Sylvie she thinks she is better but she's not says Caesar I'm surprised she didn't eat our weenies I say everybody laughs she's not so big says Olga she's just mean and ugly and fat but she sure can't dance and we all start to laugh because it's true thank you so I feel like I have to do some due diligence with Lorenzo you inspire me to stop lights and hot combs and railroad breaks I think you might just be the first brown boy in my American league you're my invention and I'm putting a patent on this thing we are doing I am copywriting these words my tongue pushes into your ear you make me want to tattoo another teardrop below my left eye redo my eyebrows with a sharpie and see how high my bangs can go you are the first wave of braceros planting seeds across my back yours are the brown raindrops coating this land washing away the toxic ashes of other loves my love turn my land make it ours again I want to make some black history with you I want to be your Harriet Tubman and let you ride my underground railroad to freedom I want you to pass out in my arms exhausted I want you to lose your scent in my rivers I want you to come and wait inside my safe house till slave catchers lose all track of you I want to make some black history with you be the first man to reach your north pole I want to find a million and one things to do with a peanut black bin I want to make you proud to be Negro I want to make some Chicano history with you be your Miguel Hidalgo and scream independence down your throat let you swim across my river defiant I want you to reclaim your name in my lips I want to be your asylum want you to stop on these borders till minimum and remember they don't belong I want to make some Chicano history with you be the first man to call you his aslan I want to create new words to describe you roll my tongue three times to invoke you show you how my H is silent and my Rs are heavy I want to make some black history with you sing songs about overcoming you and I shall I want to lead our movement back to my Africa where we bow down to trees and skies all god I want you to sit between my knees while I find the chemical that sizzles the genetic code out of our kinks and have a million dollar madam CJ kind of idea just by looking into your head I want to make some Chicano history with you rewrite that cumbia admiring the beauty of your ass porque lindo tu cuckoo want to carry you back to my home live back to me tierra show you how I learned what I know with the stem of an onion hmm want to dance like the devil of our desert plains make you thirsty just by watching quenched by the salt of my tongue carry you back to Texas over my shoulder be that be be like art from the stones of my past come to haunt me one more time I want to make some black history with you I want you to beg for mercy third good style in my supreme court I want to write and rewrite and overturn legislation for you I want to be your black antiquity and watch Saharan son soak into your back I want to make some Chicano history with you write your manifesto be the Joaquin in my movimiento have family outings at the nearest red stop remind me how we're more black and indian than white and spanish denounce that hispanic bullshit as you make my ground pregnant I want to birth more mestizos with you I want to bring forth a yam for you cook no pales and chacales for you something sweet something moist something red something rough see I want to make some black history with you I want to make some Chicano history with you I want to run to Texas want to run through public classrooms every Juneteenth every Cinco de Mayo and remind you that you're free and remind folks it's not independent I want to sit down and be Rosa Parks for you I want to be your Chavez I want to be the seat for you make this world safe for you and you can ride the front of my bus you be the Guadalupe who guides and carries me I want you to take a hammer in your hand once I've been beaten once again and be the tunnel through my mountain be the gentle crew that makes my hips way I want to take you back in time before reggaeton and rock in espanol before hip-hop when pretty men galloped away into the sunset before rhyme I want to gallop my way into you like buster when I must have got off course but I'm hung like a listen I just I just want to make some black history with you want to make some Chicano history with you I want you to come back into my village want you to cruise back into my barrio proud and pierced and scarred my neck my name sketched around your neck I want everything you went out and gathered and brought home airbrush on the hood of your car below Selena or Zapata I want to make something out of it I want you to put everything in my pot and let me make you your first gumbo I want you to lick me from your fingers and I will make something that will stick to our ribs like legacy like family like a brown mama making little brown babies for you I want to verse you in some things I think you should know makiba ropes and the boys I want you to make some noise like that choir up in Harlem with all them cute little boys I want to be the worst part of you I want to come visit you in jail hock my gold chain for bail I want to sit in the middle seat of your troca leg like my mama making sure girls knew who was that ruka want to give ojo to any cavern who dares are you flash the razor blade I hide in my chongo because you are my man and all those ways I've been taught are unhealthy tell you I'd die without you I'd cut anyone trying to get close to you or if my politics overcame me I'd at least drill some Catholic guilt into you the kind even Jesus can't remove the kind that made daddy buy mom more jaffa pay less shoes and home interior I want my home to be your interior I want to be the corner in your maseca glide between your fingers stick underneath your nails want you to come home everything's giving I need your mama stuffing oh hell see poppy let me be a prison rape build me a house on mongo street your spelled escape where people look like you and me the bullet aimed at your next nape where no one answers our doors I want to be your mama in the kitchen burning rice where no one knocks you for entering and you can be my daddy on a corner shooting dice we're having a papana daddy makes no one blink see I just want to make some black history with you see I just want to make Chicano history with you be the Atlantic in your middle passage be the warrant that finally gets you and swallow you and free you before they slay or slave you I want to be the America built on the back of you be brothers in the Castro who still won't talk to you I want to be your invention I want to patent this thing we do I want the I want to copyright these words my tongue pushes into your ear I'll sponge your I'll expand your three strikes like that fancy lawyer did for uncle Tony we will stand beside the founding mothers of this country our country not the red white and blue nor the green white and red for both have denied us this land our land is an ancient land I will learn to run through my can through counties like my ancestors carrying Chile Paso in my love I want the world to know and I shall feed you I was here with you and I shall continue making some black history making Chicano history with you anyone to make some Asian-American studies with me meet me outside and speaking I am a newlywed enjoying fully the benefits of adultery it is a fantastic world now I keep thinking what it would have been like if Sylvester had been around for marriage equality and I'm gonna have to have it up acknowledge my sister Darma getting over there put my collar on and I'm gonna show you a little bit of nun technology it's for the nun on the go I am sister Baba Ganesh queridos and hookers welcome to your holy land Mecca holy land Castro querido this walk is communion this walk is queer sanctuary this walk is pride this walk is rebirth this walk is manifestation communion this holy place place of tears place of mourning do you miss them god knows I do is it really nothing nothing when it finally happens how bad will it hurt there are spirits protecting me how much of that is bullshit what if it's nothing nothing so that now is everything do they ever come around how shall we honor them I think we should dance I think we should summon the dead summon the murdered the lynched and dragged the plundered and damned for in this new age their vengeance is joy deep joy dance is weaponry joy is victory the past a warm sure breeze at our backs the spirits the past a warm sure breeze at our backs the spirit don't look back too much and always place your bets on dancing from the reading of the first mysteries of the sisters of perpetual indulgence dawn the habit we white grease on flesh color in gems top white glitter covers all white grease on flesh artist trickster render sister colors and gems top white ages back we were in here and now again artists trickster render sister swim with but we are not of clones ages back we were in here and now again trick queens psychic hooker tender of herb hydras the lot swim with but we are not of clones time we eat on open palms suckle we from father Shiva's breast trick babies psychic whores tender of herb hydras the lot nuns blue green yellow orange mothers defined by deed not yammer time we eat on open palms suckle we from father Shiva's breast on that day a sweet three then the next day four we're bored with clones nuns blue green yellow orange mothers defined by deed not yammer they became heroes eventually but first they were just trouble on that day a sweet three the next day four were bored with clones lips grip cigar and machine gun terror they blazed into the streets they became heroes eventually but first they were trouble pom-pom skits grip the softball games and fairy recruits lips grip cigar and machine gun terror they blaze into the streets this is the first mystery of the sisters of perpetual indulgence pom-pom skits grip the softball games and fairy recruits this is the first mystery of the sisters of perpetual indulgence colors and gems top white own gum gonna put the eight number down the habit we on the habit how's everybody holding up this is this is called patty song and it's it's written for a contemporary of Sylvester's patty the bell but tonight it's it's Sylvester song she sings to us we who first called her diva the first and last girl the go girl miss girl we who watched her hair dress and pumps fly we who watched drag queens try and try and try to sink their lips into her song wondering when their birds didn't make it over the rainbow what went wrong she sings to us make us go home and wish our real mothers acted like that see we have watched her wreck the children give them grief make them sit back in utter disbelief you have just been Sylvester sized watch you go home thinking maybe i should do something different with my hair maybe make the legs in my pants flare show some proud bone in my back bear walk around without care okay enough of this rhyme like i said she sings to us out of the stereos and televisions we own we hold our tv antenna hands until she sings to us clear and cable concert like pushing her song deep into our ears with her surround sound speaker lips she coos if only you knew how much i do oh that's when we go up turn the track up do our best patty back up watch the cds stack up listen for the song that will surely send us over we hold our cries tight in the fist of our eyes she will not do us not like this but she calls the tears out by name peter kevin larry donald assoto essics she part this world and part next sweeps weeps into herself like she is ocean and they a river we have been holding on to rivers and didn't even know it you see she sings to us we who need lullabies and anthems to release our rivers she sings to us we who live in that place where her voice goes she sings to us we who pride ourselves on our 12 egg potato salad she sings to us we who need somebody to name our tears in a song she sings to us so that is the reading portion of this evening you know i i say you know i say all the time that you know we we have to tell our stories because history has a really bad habit of leaving us out getting us wrong or marginalizing us we have to we have to tell our stories um and we have so many ways and opportunity to do it with social media and you know there's still the the work of archiving our histories um if you have that box under your bed with those photos and that letter you know make sure you know they're designated to go somewhere you know um you know talk to the archivist here in the bay area you know we have to make sure that we save you know our history um and it doesn't seem important you know but you know if you have a a matchbook cover from the slot you know um i heard about that that's not my um history um but it is it is important um and i want to thank my readers again my friends my boys my bristers you know i want to thank the library and karen sundheim and i want to thank you for for hanging out for listening to stories for continuing to tell yours and look out for us um you know marvin k white on facebook and you know y'all want to y'all want to stay anonymous okay thank you