 The comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honnies. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. Well, little Miss Addy, how are you today? I'm just fine, thank you. How are you? I'm just fine too, thank you. Are you getting along in school since your Christmas vacation? Oh, really? Quite well, thank you. Are you getting a good mark in your history? Yes, quite good, thank you. Very well, let me test you. On what? What famous American will have a birthday this week? Uh... February 12th. Oh! Oh, you did? Yes. Is that a man with a beard? Yes. Well, they're good for you. You're excellent in your history. Yes, I am, am I? And I think you should get a reward. Well, will you please read me the funnest? Puck the Comic Weekly? Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Oh, with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the first page, under bringing up Father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Today, one of the officers is talking to Beatle's sergeant. Hey, Sarge, I hear... I think you're being too tough on the men. They might rebel. The sergeant replies, Darf fully! They're better off working and corrosion their own tone. A short distance away, Beatle and his pals are sweating their brains out, digging a ditch. A little dog keeps pestering him. One of the soldiers says, Hey, scram, pooch! Sarge has a log against playing. Run instead of scramming, the dog grabs the fellow's cap, and away he goes. Hey, hey, he's got my cap! And Beatle and his pals go after the dog. The dog runs around a building. Around the corner of the shack comes Beatle. Straight toward the sergeant he goes. Yes, get him! The sergeant thinks they're coming at him. His cap pops off. And away he runs, first picture, bottom roll. Where the dog behind him. And the soldiers behind the dog. Hattle that dog! We're gonna string you up! The sergeant doubles his speed and yells, Hey, stop, stop, furloughs for everyone! One of the soldiers yells, Come here, you mangy, flea-bitten cur. The sergeant shouts, Yeah, yeah, I've beat it, I've been a heel. I'll change, I don't fight. He passed me. And he sees Beatle grabbing the pup and the other soldiers gather around him. The sergeant says, Hey, you were chasing that dog? And Beatle thinks he's going to get into trouble again. Hey, don't be so, sergeant. We'll get back to work. Last picture, the sergeant mobs his brow and relieves finances. No, no, no. Take the afternoon off. You've been working too hard. And Beatle says, If I didn't know better, I'd say he's been working too hard. It wasn't that hill. Yes, and everything that they yelled at the dog, the sergeant thought they were saying to him. It wasn't that funny. Yes, it just goes to prove that when your conscience is bothering you, you think things are meant for you that aren't meant for you at all. Yes, that's so true. Yes, that's so true. Well, now I'll bet you you'd like to find out whether Flash Gordon... Oh, yes, I would, because Flash is in danger, but he doesn't know it. Very well, then let's turn over the page, go past little Iodine and Prince Valiant, turn over to page four. And there's Flash what happens. Yes, now we'll find out. You remember last week, Flash was on the planet Venus, where he'd overcome the tyrant, King Stang. And instead of putting King Stang in jail, Flash let him go free, but had put a guard to watch him. Yes, and Stang bribed the guard to deliver a message to Stang's friend. And the message told Stang's friend to overpower Flash at a certain special big important meeting. And I'm worried because Flash doesn't know anything about this. Well, let's read now and find out what happens. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Regga regga dune dune, saskam attache. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Krillir, Flash's friend, has called a meeting of the people on Venus for the purpose of selecting a new leader and a new government. Now that Stang has been overcome. Stang, by his secret message, sends one of his henchmen, the evil scale man, Karga, to block the election of Krillir, who was the leading candidate. However, when the balloting is over, Karga is defeated. And Krillir has been elected. Suddenly, Stang himself appears on the scene and whips his followers into a frenzied attempt to seize power. Stang's first target is his old nemesis, Flash Gordon. He lets go at Flash with his raygun. Got in the excitement of the attack, Stang's blast misses its mark. At last picture top row, Flash is able to make his way to the electron beam control. Tuning the beam on the rioters, he temporarily paralyzes their nerve center. But when Flash checks up on the unconscious rebels, he's dismayed to find that somehow both Stang and Karga have escaped. Ashing to a window, he is just in time to see the two ringleaders blast off in a jet-flyer they have seized. Krillir leaps to the palace guns and fires wildly. But Flash calls a halt. No, no, it's no use. They're out of range. Look, Alfalostang and Karga, you're needed here. The rebels assume to regain unconsciousness. Ten minutes later, Flash and Dale speed in pursuit of the fleeing tyrant and his henchmen. Flash says they're certain for the scale man's caverns inside the planet. Our job is to follow them. It's dangerous, but we have no choice. King Stang, she told it. Yes, that's right. She said her woman's intuition warned her not to trust Stang. Yes, her woman's intuition... Well, after all... He should have listened to her. She's a wall. Yes, but after all... Man, they just don't pay any attention to a woman when she's right. Yes, but you must... Now what'll happen to him? Would you like to read Donald Duck? He'd go with your favorite, favorite Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee, chicka-chack. That's some music to fit a quack-quack. Donald and his girlfriend, Daisy, are out for a drive in the country. Donald isn't quite sure where he is. So he says to Daisy... Ah, you're mild handing me the map in the glove compartment. Daisy replies... You don't need it. I've been over this road for a long time. Oh, I forgot. Daisy points ahead and says, third picture, top row. Pass that tree there, there'll be a... Ah, yes, turn right. It's the grade I told you was coming. Apex Mountain, it's called. And by the time you get to the last picture, top row, Daisy is saying... Now, around the next turn's a bridge. We go a mile beyond. Second picture, bottom row, they're making another turn. It's good from here, as I remember it. We come to a gate. Or was it a bridge? Oh, no, no, it was a tunnel. A tunnel? Maybe I better look at that... And last picture, the car stands up to its hubs in a pig pen at the end of the road. Donald turns to Daisy, disgustedly, Okay, now let's have the map. What was that you were saying a while ago about women always being right? Well, this is different. And why is it different? Because with Dana was her tuition, but with Daisy it was her memory. And? You can always trust a woman's tuition, but her memory, well, that's just a different thing. Oh, it is? Why? Okay. Oh, I see. You can trust a woman's intuition, but not her memory. Yes. Well, what do you do about a woman's memory? You just... Oh, I see. Well, thank you very much for the lesson. You're welcome. Now can we please read Peter Pan? Yes, I'd be delighted to. Let's turn over the page. I know, look. That's right, I did promise you. Well, there's nothing wrong with your memory. No, there isn't. Well, today we certainly will find... Oh, please, quick read. All right, here we go with Peter Pan. Pirates, crocodiles, Peter by Pan, whisk up music for Never Never Land. Peter Pan, the little man from Never Never Land, came back to the Darling household, found his shadow, and has taught the three Darling children how to fly. And now they're on their way toward Never Land. Now let's look ahead. Ah, there's a big pirate ship. And on the deck is the elegant Captain Hook, the world's most famous crook. He's named Captain Hook because one arm was bitten off by a crocodile. And now, where once there was a hand with five fingers, there was one steel hook. The captain is studying a map, trying to figure out where Peter Pan maintains his hideout. He peers at the map and snarls. Oh, bless Peter Pan. And then he hears... Oh, Smee. Smee? What's that, Smee? Smee, the captain's man, runs to the railing and looks over. He sees a crocodile, stick its head up out of the water, looking for Captain Hook. Do you believe it is a crocodile, Captain? Oh, no, no, no. Not the crocodile. Chase him away, Smee. Chase him away. Last picture, top row, Smee shouts down at the crocodile. Shame on you. I'm setting the book up. Shoo, shoo. And the crocodile disappears under the water. First picture, bottom row, Hook snarls. Oh, that cursed beast. Ever since Peter Pan fed him my hand, he's been hungry for the rest of me. Then he'd have had you by now, Captain, if he hadn't swallowed their long clock. When he's about, he warns you with his tick-tock. Oh, bless Peter Pan. If only I could find his hideout. At that moment, the lookout shouts, Peter Pan, ahoy! A grin appears on Hook's face. Watch where to wait. Three points off the stomach. Last picture, Hook whips out a spyglass, looks to the heavens and exclaims, Swallow me eyes. It is Pan. We've got him this time, Smee. That he is. What will he try to do, Skye? I'll bet you that's what he tries. Oh, and them? Well, I don't think he will. Next week we'll see what really happens. But now it's time for Dagwood and Blondie. Oh, and that's it. Well, you get that spread out and I'll read Dagwood and Blondie in just a moment. But first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwood and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ram-a-food, am-a-fum, zim-zam-zum-be. Kanji be music for Dagwood and Blondie. The doorbell rings at the Bumsted House. Dagwood goes to open the door and he shouts, Oh, Blondie! There's a man here from the photographers. Blondie trots to the door. Oh, oh, this is the day we'd have a family group picture taken. Last picture, top row, the photographer is setting up his equipment. Blondie comes in leading Cookie. Dagwood, I found Cookie. Now you rush out and find Alexander quick. First picture, second row, Dagwood dashes down the street, screaming at the top of his voice. Alexander! Ten minutes later, Dagwood comes in the house. All right, I found Alexander. Now where's Blondie? And the photographer answers. Oh, she went out looking for you. And out the door, Dagwood and Alexander go. Last picture, second row, Alexander shouts, Hey, there they are, Pop! And Dagwood runs off in six different directions. First picture, third row, trying to catch the pups. He called Biscuit on it! A half hour later, Dagwood comes into the house carrying all the dogs. Blondie meets him at the door. Come, dear. The photographer has his camera all set up and ready. And ten minutes later, the whole family, Blondie, Dagwood, Cookie, Alexander, and the six dogs, no, the five dogs, no, the six dogs, are all lined up before the photographer. All right, hold it now. Everybody smile. Everybody smiles. And then the picture is taken. And first picture, bottom row, away rush the dogs and the children. Hey, thank goodness that's over. Yeah, now we can get back to our games. Suddenly the photographer looks at his camera. Oh, silly me. I forgot to take the lens cap off my camera. We'll have to take it all over again. And Dagwood goes, What? And last picture, down the street come two streaks. It's the photographer with Dagwood after him brandishing the camera. Please stand still a minute. I just want to take your picture. Oh, that's trouble. I don't either. If Dagwood takes that photographer's picture with that camera, it'll be a bloody one, I'm afraid. Yes, it is. Well, now let's turn over the page and see who's there. Oh, look, there's Dick's adventure. Oh, yes, and Dick is in the midst of a very interesting adventure because he's in the early days of America in the city of New Orleans at a time when the Americans were captured by the pirate Jean Lafitte. Yes, Lafitte has taken Dick and his friend the Major through the swamps and bayous to the pirate stronghold, a city at the edge of Baratara Bay. And the captain of the pirate Jean Lafitte has told Dick that the British are coming to meet Lafitte that evening. Yes, you see, the British have offered Lafitte 30,000 pounds of English money if Lafitte will help the British fight the Americans. Well, I want a particular party. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Let's play music for a adventurous Dick. The meeting with the British turns out to be a banquet given by Lafitte in honor of the British. Dick sees the British bring in a huge chest and set it down. Lafitte whispers to Dick, keep your ears open. Last picture top row, Dick, whom the British think is Lafitte's friend. Here's the British tell Lafitte of their plans to attack New Orleans. Then the chest is opened. And Dick sees it's filled with gold doubloons. The British offer this to Lafitte as a reward if he will help the British with his men and ships in the attack against the Americans. First picture, second row before the banquet ends, Dick sees his chance to escape. General Jackson must be warned of the impending attack. Dick slips out the banquet hall, makes his way to the prison and in a quick surprise knocks out the guard to get the major out. Then Dick unlocks the cell releasing major filet. Last picture, third row, the major and Dick race toward a point in the bayou where Lafitte's boats are moored. First picture, bottom row, the guard comes to and shouts the alarm. They quickly spread out in a search. Dick and the major, last picture push away from shore in a boat and head for the swamps. Dick says, they'll be after us in a minute, major. Gosh, I hope we don't get lost in all these channels. Well, he can only do it if the major and he can keep away from those pirates. Yes, but that's not going to be easy because those pirates know all those swamps very well and Dick doesn't know them at all. I'm afraid we'll have to wait until next week to find that out. But now look below Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley and we can find out some things about him right now if you're interested. Oh, you know I'm in trouble. Oh, yes, he is. He's run away and joined a carnival where he's been hired by two men who are crooks. Rusty overheard the crooks plotting something bad against Mr. Dooley. Mr. Dooley is the owner of the carnival. Yes, and then he found a cuff button in the shack where he had overheard the crooks in the first place. And then one of the men who had hired Rusty told Rusty that he'd lost the cuff button. I wonder if that'll make Rusty know that this is one of the men that he'd heard there in the dark. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run until the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Back at Milestone Farm, Tex is talking to Mr. Miles. Let's have the facts about Rusty, Tex. He wrote me saying he had to leave Milestone Farm because of his no good uncle. That's just uncle of his, Rufus, was out of jail. Yes, that's right, boss. And honorary coyote threatened to put him back in the orphan's home unless he put the bite on you for a lot of money. I think it must have nigh busted Rusty's heart to leave Milestone Farm. But he'd do anything to keep from making trouble for you. Third picture top row, Mr. Miles shakes his head. Oh, poor lad. I couldn't love him more if he were my own... Where do you think he is, Tex? Well, boss, I kind of figured he went with a carnival that was playing where we was. But the carnival boss hasn't seen him. Last picture top row, at that moment in the town near the carnival, Rusty and his friend Mr. Stovepipe have found lodgings. Well, well, my boy, we're all set in comfortable lodgings and you were launched upon your career as assistant to the Great Neckrow, the magician. Oh, but my boy, you seem worried. Yes, I am, Mr. Stovepipe. Last night when I slept in that shack near the carnival, well, I heard two men planning to do some kind of harm to Mr. Dooley, the owner of the show. Stovepipe goes on first picture bottom row. If my memory serves me rightly, you didn't see the men. All you know, my boy, is that there are new act with the carnival and there are six or eight new acts. Yes, but Mr. Stovepipe, when I went to that shack to get my suitcase today, I found a man's cufflink on the floor and just now Mr. Neckrow gave me a dollar and he asked me to buy him some cufflinks because he'd lost one of his. Well, well, I see. Looks like he was one of the men you ever heard in that shack. What should I do, Mr. Stovepipe? Should I take the job as assistant in his magic act? As I said, my boy, it looks like he was in the shack. That's not proof. Yes, I'd say take the job and keep your eyes open. Meanwhile, last picture in the great Neckrow's dressing room at the carnival, his companion in crime is talking with him. Hey, listen, Specks, I'm jittery about cracking Dooley safe with our records if anything went wrong. The great Neckrow, who is really Specks, replies, I have no intention of doing anything so crude as cracking a safe. I intend to exploit a certain weakness of Dooley is to take him to the cleaners and don't call me Specks. Mr. Neckrow is a crook. Yes, he does. But I wonder if the crook... Or to keep his eyes open and to watch and see what happens. Oh. You'll find out what the crooks are up to and you'll be able to stop them from doing anything bad to Mr. Dooley and you'll become a hero. That could happen and we'll find that out as time goes along. But now look across the page. There's Roy Rogers on page four. Yes, Dr. Doful Hawkins bought. And when they walked into the office, they found Doful's boss on the floor dead. And we saw those two crooks named Creaky and Bull Whip coming out of the back door of the building and I am very sure that they're the ones that killed him. And I'm sure you're right. And Doful Hawkins' nephew, Tim, saw them come out too when he began to throw rocks at him. And when do you know what will happen next? Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Ah, yippie-yo. Now, here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yippie-yo. The boy, Tim, starts throwing rocks at the two outlaws. Bull Whip growls. Hey, grab that kid, Creaky. He blabs his saw sneaking out of the Bratton freight office. We're sunk. Quickly, Creaky grabs little Tim, who begins to kick and fuss. Here, let me go. Here, let me go. The outlaws mount up and ride for the hills. Meanwhile, last picture top row, Doful and Roy come out of the office. Doful says, Whoever killed my boss, Hank Bratton made a clean getaway, Roy. Hey, where's Tim, my pesky nephew? Why, he said he's out here playing Indian. First picture bottom row, a man comes out of the telegraph office. Hey, this came for you from the Tomahawk mine, Doful. I want you up there to investigate some trouble. Huh? I suppose Fancy Ferrell's freight office trying to horn in on our all-hauling contract again. Oh, there's some kind of trouble brewing. Roy answers. Second picture bottom row. Well, you go on ahead, Doful. I'll fetch the sheriff and help him round up Bratton's killer. Okay, and you find Tim and keep him out of mischief. Well, I get back to Roy. Roy goes around behind the building. And there, he finds Tim's slingshot and tracks in the dust. Well, Tim's slingshot and also tracks of two armories, one with new boots. That could be Fancy Ferrell's man, creaky and bullwhip. Meanwhile, last picture, Fancy Ferrell, leader of the outlaws, rides to meet his men at their hideout. All right, let's go, horse. I gotta tell the boys about Decoy and Hawkins to the mine with a phony message. When they bush-wack him, that Bratton line is finished. Yes, they're planning and putting Doful out of the way so Fancy Ferrell and his gang can get control of all business connected with hauling the ore. Well, I wonder if Tim... Well, that's something we'll have to wait until next week to find out. Now, that's all the time I have, but before I go, here's that nice fellow again with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Xtree. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Pock the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly man, the jolly Comic Weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly man, the jolly Comic Weekly man. Thank you.