 The Anderson family You can't blame me for wanting my dues, Mr. Anderson. In good faith I loaned you our lawnmower. And I'll return it in good faith. I'm sure there must be some misunderstanding. If there's one thing I admire in a man, it's integrity. I admire honesty. Quiet, Free Baron. I'll spatch his eye out. Free Baron, that's enough. I'll tear his collar off. Look, I'll return your lawnmower. I don't want to hear any more about it. Uh-oh. Here we go again, folks. This whole thing started when Oliver Anderson took six weeks ago from Mr. and Mrs. Free Baron Briggs. However, all thoughts of having borrowed it had disappeared from Oliver Anderson's mind, for the important thing at this moment is borrowing $2,500 from a new bank in town. Oliver wants to improve his property and must make application by letter to the board of directors of the loan institution. He has just finished writing the letter. They're all finished. If this letter doesn't get some action from that board of directors, I'll quit. Let's read it. You mean let's tear it to pieces. Now, there's nothing wrong with it. It's a straightforward, honest letter. That's what counts in getting money from a bank, honestly. Oh, yeah? Well, I'll still get it. Oliver, Junior didn't mean anything by that. Oh. Of course it's a lot, and who you know, too, Pop. That's right. Well, I know Connors and Bingham. But there are a couple of new directors. I don't know who they are. Oh, I'm sure this letter will do the trick. You took long enough to write it. Well, just an hour is all. You write a pretty good hand, Pop. Yes, I do, don't I? And your paragraphs are neat. Gee, thanks. Just that I retained my schooling. I guess you can't be too careful on a letter like this. That's right. I'm glad you take such interest in things like this, Junior. Yeah, but I don't think it's a good idea to head it with. For heaven's sakes, men don't turn this down. I need it. Let me have that letter. It's no concern of yours what I put in it. And there are two P's in application, Pop. I know it. I know. Uh, how many do I have? One. Well, no wonder. With everyone talking and playing the radio, it's a wonder I have the address right now. No, no, let's relax. Let's have a nice quiet evening. I'll type it neatly for you all over after a while. Yeah, I think typewritten letters get more action anyhow. You have a good idea there, but you'd better stick pretty closely to what I have there. What did Mr. Connors say when you mentioned the loan to him? Well, he said it was okay with him, and so did Bingham. It's up to the other two directors. Well, maybe you'd better find out who they are. That's not important. Connors and Bingham's can swing them. Hey, did you tell Pop about your being chairman on the flower planting drive, Mom? Oh, that's not important, Junior. Of course it is. Who elected you? Oh, well, Mrs. Briggs across the street suggested me. She carries quite a bit of weight with the girls. Yes, I noticed. She could lose about a hundred pounds of the weight she carries. All of her. Oh, seriously, I just don't like that woman. Yeah, she's always been swell to me. I still don't like her. Oh, that weak-kneed husband of hers. He can't cut their grass without her permission. But they're very happy, Oliver. Certainly. I've seen dogs and cats eating together, but it's only because they had to. And they just got their new car, too. Oh, did they? What color? Black. They just drove home a few minutes ago. Mrs. Briggs was in the backseat. I'll bet it's equipped with radar from the backseat. Ah, now that's no way to talk, Oliver. Well, she burns me. Old Homer Meister, ten dollars for three months for that cement job and didn't even return his mixer. I don't like people like that. Well, Mr. Briggs seems like a nice fellow, Pop. Of course he is, but she won't let him be himself. I wonder if she did what kind of a fellow he should he be. Well, they're happy. That's what counts as I said before. Oh, you mean she's happy. I don't think Free Band Briggs has been out after dark for years. Well, you and Junior continue this uninteresting conversation. I'm going to the store. Get some of those chocolate cookies for my lunch, Mom. If they have them, I will. Just look under his counter. Uh-oh. Here comes the Briggs family, Pop. I have nothing I want to discuss with them. Well, wait a minute. Can't understand why everyone leaves. Okay, I hear you. Oh, hello, Mrs. Briggs. Who's behind you? Oh, it's Free Band. Well, come on in. Thank you, Mr. Anderson. Thank you. Hey, you got a haircut, didn't you, Free Band? We didn't come here to discuss personal appearances. Oh. Well, then come on in here where we can be comfortable. Take off your hat, Free Band, and get that wad of chewing gum out of your mouth. Yes, dear. Well, it's mindy-nice of you folks to drop in. Mm-hmm. You've lost some weight, haven't you, Millicent? That is of no consequence, Mr. Anderson. Please don't fawn all over us. Our trip is very unpleasant. Unpleasant? Yes. Free Band wanted to come over alone. What I know is vicious temper. So I decided to take the cat by the horns. Cat? Bull? No, this is the truth, Anderson. Quiet, Free Band. Now, Mr. Anderson, when you asked to use our lawnmower a couple of months ago, I said yes. Well, yes, you did, and I did. Now, I didn't ask you for references nor a deposit. You mean Junior has borrowed it lately? You borrowed it, Mr. Anderson. Me? You borrowed the lawnmower, Anderson? I believe I did. And I didn't say a word when you pried the lock off the shed to get it. Oh, yeah. Well, I remember. You weren't home, and I... You broke the lock off. I did? Well, gee, I'm sorry. I'll buy you another lock. I suppose I should have done something about this before. Now, if there's one thing I cannot stand in a man, it's procrastination. I can see that. But I thought I had taken your lawnmower back or had Junior do it. If you'd have had Junior do it, it would have been done. If there's one boy in the neighborhood who is dependable, that boy is Junior. Must take after his mother's side of the family. Well, yes, Mary's a lot that way, of course. And I'll agree that sometimes things do slip my mind, and possibly the lawnmower was left out in our garage. It had better be out there, Mr. Anderson. Uh, how's that? It had better be, as she said. Don't walk on that side, Mrs. Braggs. It's all planted. My, my. This place used to be so beautiful before you people bought it. And look at it now. Freebearns, now, now, control yourself. Now, let's see. Lawnmower, lawnmower. Oh, but there beside the bush. Is it that it? You mean it's been outdoors rusting all this time? I wonder if this is yours. It has two wheels and a handle. Best be. They all have two wheels. For heaven's sakes, Freebearn. It is our lawnmower. Just look at that. Go ahead, Anderson. Look at it. Well, there isn't much wrong with it. But it's all rusted. That wheel is half off. And look at the handle. Go ahead, Anderson. Look at that handle. Gee, well, yeah, I guess you're right. But I don't understand why Junior didn't put it in out of the weather. And this wheel, it's broken. Go ahead, look at it. Look at the wheel. Yes, I see. But that can be fixed. Either fixed as it was, or a new one. How's that? Bake it and do it, darling. Oh, no, you don't. Not a new one. I'll fix this one and it'll be returned in good shape, Mrs. Briggs. Possibly. To think. Neighbors. Oh, me. One never really knows their neighbors. If it hadn't been for this lawnmower, I might have gone on thinking you people were all right. Now, wait a minute, Lady Mountain Dean. I pay for my mistakes and my son's mistakes. I'll send it to the fix at Champagne. It'll be returned like new. You know, Mr. Anderson, as hard as I try, I don't think I'm ever going to like you. The feeling is somewhat more the mutual, Mrs. Briggs. Ordinarily, I'm a very courteous fellow, but I don't like to be abused. No, Anderson, those are fighting words. I meant them to be fighting words. No, no. Freebearing. Don't strike, Mr. Anderson. No need of your facing a manslaughter charge. I'll scratch his eyes out. Freebearing, no, no. I'll tear off his collar. Oh, please, Freebearing, no. I'll poke his hair out. This is getting ridiculous. And if I thought you could get a price, I'm getting his face fixed along with the lawnmower. I'd shut him up for you. You threatened Freebearing. Oh, come now, Mrs. Briggs. This is silly. No, it's not. I don't enjoy this. I only want what's right. She only wants what's right. But I'm willing to return the lawnmower, Mrs. Briggs. But you certainly take your time about it. If there's one thing I admire in a man, it's integrity. I admire your honesty. Quiet, Freebearing. Well, I'll leave you with your conscience, Mr. Anderson. And I expect the lawnmower returned in the same condition as when you broke into the shed and stole it. Stole it? You stole it. She said. Oh, come now, Mrs. Briggs. I don't want to hear another word. Come, Freebearing. Well, Mary will be terribly sorry about this, Mrs. Briggs. I'm upset, too. But Mary's stuck with you. I'm not. I don't see why you keep blaming Junior for the lawnmower being broken and rusted, Oliver. Well, I may have borrowed it, but he's seen that lawnmower 50 times in the backyard. Why didn't he put it away? He isn't too young to be careful of things. But Oliver, he didn't borrow it. That isn't the point. Junior? Here, Mom. Come here a minute. Wait. It cannot. Tell Butch you aren't coming back out this evening, and then come here a minute. That's hardly fair, Oliver. The only way, Mary. You could have waited until later, Oliver. What's wrong? Why can't I go out? Your father wants to talk to you. Yeah. Junior? You remember we borrowed the Briggs lawnmower a few weeks ago? We. You did, Pop. Who borrowed it is not important. The lawnmower was left out of the backyard to rust and break. Rust and break? Not the Briggs lawnmower. Oh, yes, it was. Now, just to show you that life isn't a bowl of prunes. Cherries, Oliver. All right, cherries. You're going to pay the cost of putting that lawnmower in shape. Oh, gee, Pop. Let me explain what you're doing. There's nothing to explain. You know what it's all about. But maybe he wants to say something, Oliver. Yes, I know. But that still stands. You pay the bill, and maybe it'll break you of being careless. But if you'd let me explain... There's nothing to explain, Junior. I've taken the lawnmower to the fixer shop, and the bill is $11.12. You shouldn't have taken it to the shop, Pop. No, you're going to tell me how to run my life. No, he isn't, Oliver. He's just trying to... Just trying to out-talk me. Yes, I know. So go ahead now. Go do your homework, and then go to bed. Okay, but if you'd just let me say one thing... Never mind now, darling. I'll be up and tuck you in. Okay. Guess I'm all voted against. He was trying to tell you something, Oliver. Of course he was. He wanted to tell me where I was wrong. He doesn't realize yet that older people learn through experience, and that's what he's doing. I'll get it, Oliver. Maybe Mrs. Meister. Yes? Yes, he is Mr. Bingham, just in a moment. Oh, Mr. Bingham, the bank director? Good. Let's have it. Yeah. Doesn't sound cheerful to me. Hello, Bingham. How's everything? Making what top for myself? Breaks? Oh, that phony. Why... Uh, just... I just... Yes? The new director? Oh. Breaks, the new director? But... But there isn't any place else I can apply for the loan. Yeah, yes, I know you're for it, but... Oh, there's no go, huh? Okay, Bingham. Thanks anyhow. So long. No go, huh? No go. Briggs is gonna stop at the shrimp. But I'll get around that baby yet. When I take his lawn mower back, I'll have it out with him. And his baby hippopotamus, too. And now back to the Anderson family. Oliver has just been turned down at the bank and alone he hoped to make. The deal soured when he had a little trouble with a neighbor, Mr. Briggs, over the return of a lawn mower. Oliver had borrowed and apparently forgot to return. Only to find that Mr. Briggs was the new director of the bank. Hoping to smooth over the situation, Oliver and Mary Anderson are just entering the fix-it shop to pick up the lawn mower which Oliver had repaired. Well, that looks like the lawn mower, Oliver. Well, how can you tell? They all look alike to me. Here comes the man now. Howdy, folks. Can I do something for you? Oh, oh, Mr. Harkness is my lawn mower ready. It's for Oliver Anderson. Anderson, Anderson. Name don't mean nothing to me. I go by numbers. Got your stub? Oh, oh, sure. Here. 33B. 33B. Oh, yes. Sitting right over here. And my dad, you know, I've been repairing mowers for better than 30 years. And I never saw one so bent up as that one, while... But you were able to fix it. Well, yes, I did. The only thing left of what you brought me is the washers on the wheels. The rest is new lawn mower. Well, maybe you shouldn't have done such a good job. You said fix-it up. Well, yes, I did. Where you live? 13 Beacon Road. Oh, is that so? See, that's right close to Briggs House, ain't it? Right across the street, yes. Well, I hate to ask you this, but as long as you live so close, you're driving, ain't you? Well, yes. Well, I wonder if you'd just drop off Briggs's lawn mower at the same time. Why, this one here is Briggs lawn mower. Must have two of them then. He brung it in about six weeks ago. Had a young boy with him. Boy said his father broke in a blade running over stones and paid for repairs himself. The boy did. Six weeks ago? Yes, yes. He was sure, and it fooled what had run a nice mower over stones. Don't deserve anything from nobody. Well, there must be some mistake here, Mr. Harkness. Well, Ola wants $13 for fixing it, and you can work out the rest of the deal with Briggs. $13? You said it would be $11 and 12 cents. Oliver. Well, I'm charging you $2 for the doctor. The doctor? See, a piece of that rust broke off and went in my eye. And my head's about spitting open. Well, of course, you have my sympathy, but I still think I'm getting gypped. It's $13. I know, but you've done work for me before. Anderson is the name. Don't care if your name's Tuscanini. Names don't mean nothing to me. I'm a number man himself. Oliver, let's just take the lawn mowers. Sure, we'll take them. But I don't want this other one now. If it isn't Briggs. Just so we get $13 all I care. But $13 is a lot of money. I can get a new one for that. The bill is $13, Oliver. Yeah, I know that, but it's a holdup. Money isn't growing around on trees. You bring a lot more in, didn't you? Well, yes. Then it's $13. Well, let's pay the man, Oliver. Sure, sure, I'll pay him. I'll pay him. It's an obligation. I'll pay it, of course. Well, I don't like the way you talk, fella. Well, let's not go over my bad points now. I'll just pay it and keep still, I guess. And another thing. I'll be very happy to deliver this lawn mower to Briggs. What's it? Ah, look here, Briggs. Just left. I'll be right down. I don't get this thrashing business, Free Baron. Shh. I just say the things to please the little woman. Yeah, sometimes someone isn't going to know that. And the little woman is going to be alone. You may be right, Anderson. Uh, is this the Lord Boy? It's both of them. Both? Your own, that you took in six weeks ago to the Fix-It Shop and the one I took in. You owe me $13. I do? How? Because you claimed this other mower was yours when it was mine. It caused me anguish, loss of time, and mental worry. All together, the civil suit comes to $5,000 if I take it to court. I won't pay it. I won't charge you that much, though. I'm not that type of a person, Free Baron. I am an ice fellow. I'm a rat. Oh, now come, Free Baron. I understand. It's the influence you're under, is all. Yes, you're right. It's baby. Baby? My wife. Hmm. I shall forever free myself of those shackles. Now you're talking like a man. I admire you. I shall have it out with her immediately. Just let her know you're boss. Boy, it feels great. You've changed my whole life, Anderson. Well, I did the right things for you. Now I expect you to be a man. And okay my loan at the bank. I shall do it immediately. I am a do-bad. That's well. Connor and Bingham have okayed it. Now you. You just have one more hurdle to take. Oh, yeah? Who's the other one? Mr. Harkness at the Fixit Shop. Harkness? I, uh, I just left there. And you probably made him hate you. However, I shall arrange it. Right now? As soon as I go into house and start my new life. Well, you'd better be diplomatic. She's an egomaniac. Egobaniac? Mm-hmm. Egobaniac. Mm-hmm. That's a splendid word. I haven't used that. He-he-he. I'm a do-bad, Anderson. For today, I am a bad. But Oliver, it was none of your affair. Their home life is their own business. Oh, he won't do anything about it. He was weakening as he went up the steps into the house. But he did say he'd sign for your loan. Oh, sure. He was wrong all along and he knew it. Oliver. Huh? Coming up the walk. What? Mrs. Briggs. Oh, uh, you talk to her first, Mary. Do no such thing. Don't even tell her I'm home. You got into this. Now get out of it. Hmm. Doesn't ring like she's burning. Oh, Mr. Anderson. Hmm? I just wanted to tell you the news. Well, come on in. Don't tell it to the whole street. You know, somehow I don't mind your ignorance. I'm so happy I could just cry. Where's Mary? Well, frankly, I don't know. What's wrong that you'd be happy? It's Free-Bairn. Free-Bairn? He's made you happy? I'm so happy. I'm sorry I berated you over that lawnmower. Oh, it's a wonderful feeling, Mr. Anderson, to know the true meaning of love. Hmm? I don't suppose you understand how I feel. Well, uh, frankly, I don't get it. But the world has opened new vistas, Mr. Anderson. The clouds of distrust have opened up and the sunshine of true devotion is just oozing through. Uh, you mean Free-Bairn? Yes. Bless his little weak heart. Oh, oh, oh, well, uh, what happened? It all happened so suddenly. I don't know myself. It was right after you left our house. Free-Bairn stomped into the house. And he only stomps when he's angry. Yeah, well, go on from the stomp. Well, I was seated in the living room. And when Free-Bairn came in, I knew something was wrong. Yeah, I realized that, too. Free-Bairn walked straight up to me, shook his finger under my nose, and said, You're an egomaniac. Egomaniac? I don't know where he ever picked up such a word. Probably from some of his tramp friends. Let's leave his friend out of this. Did he pop you? Free-Bairn doesn't ever... pop me. But he did frighten you, huh? Well, yes, at first. But I regained my composure. Well, I placed my fingers carelessly around his throat. Oh, no, no. Oh, I had no intentions of squeezing so hard at first. And during the scuffle, his right fist hit me behind the ear. Oh, then he didn't moff it. I didn't hear you. Never mind. Go ahead. Then what happened? Why, I believe you actually enjoy this. Don't be silly. Well, then his left hand came free somehow, and he struck me under the chin. Which one? Both of them. Oh, don't be crude, Mr. Anderson. Oh, good old Free-Bairn. Game to the end, huh? Ah, yes. It was then my new love was born. I realized at long last he really loved me enough to swing on me. Well, well, I'm glad it turned out all right. Tell Free-Bairn I'd like to see him. Oh, he wants to see you too. And I know he'd like to see Mary. Okay. I'll get Mary and join you in a minute. It's right down this hall. Quiet, please, in the halls. My husband is a patient here. Yes, I can see why. Uh, name, please. Briggs. Mrs. Free-Bairn G. Briggs. We're just with her, Doc, really. I'll sit over here and wait, Oliver. Okay, Mary. It won't take long, I guess. Right this way, please. 32-way. Please don't stay long. Oh, just a minute. Are you a friend of his? Well, I, uh, I won't know until I talk to him. There you are, Free-B, darling. Yes, baby. Someone to see you. Hi, Free-Bairn. Gee, I'm sorry it turned out this way. I have a happy bed, Oliver. Oh, I'm so happy too, Free-Bairn. Well, uh, what happened? I don't really remember. I remember seeing the fireplace go by. Then the chandeliers went by. The chairs, the couch, a bed limiting. Well, you'll have to leave now. He's getting violent again. Oh, yeah, sure. I'll see you later, Free-Bairn, darling. Don't come that long enough. I'm a free bed. I'm a bed again. I'm a bed. I'm a bed. Will they return Free-Bairn to me in good condition, Doc? I'm a bed. Oh, come on, Mr. Briggs. Surely you don't believe in miracles. What an ordeal, Oliver. Poor Free-Bairn. Poor Free-Bairn. You'll never know a happier moment than when he swung on her. Well, it did seem to bring them closer together. Well, sure, that's what they needed. When you get stuffed up till you can't take it anymore, it helps. That sort of makes me happy to see them reconcile that way. Well, sure. You see? Now everyone's happy. Well, I hope you're right. Hi, Mom. Oh, it's Junior. Now, Mr. Connor's called, Pop. Said the loan was okay. Okay? Gee, that's swell. Well, what about Harkness, the fix-it man? Oh, he just okayed it when he found out that Briggs was for it. But he remembered my name, and I was nasty with him. Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, Mr. Connor said Mr. Harkness didn't know either by name. Said he only went by numbers. Oh, isn't that marvelous? We can start to improve the house right away, Oliver. Yeah, but I hate to have Harkness get away with that $13.00 clip on that phony lawnmower. You got taken in on that, Pop. Who did? You did. That was an old lawnmower. I had picked up for 35 cents from Butch Chapman. Oh, so that's where it came from. Well, why did you let me get stuck for the money? Why didn't you tell me it wasn't Briggs's? I did try to tell you, but you said get your homework done and go to bed. Oh, he did try to tell you, Oliver. I remember. No, you tell me. It seems that someone could have told me along before this. Oh, but he did, Oliver. He tried to. Uh-oh. Here we go again, folks. The Anderson family is written by Howard Swart, directed by Herb Lytton, and features Dick Lane as Oliver, Louise Arthur as Mary, and Walter Tetley as Junior. Others in the cast were Ginny Johnson, George Peroni, and Doug Young. Music by Gordon Kibbe. Sound effects by Ray Erlenborn. Your announcer is Ken Peters. The Anderson family is a Hollywood broadcaster's production, transcribed from Hollywood.