 What's going on you guys? Welcome to the Single Guy channel. My name is Lloyd. So today we're going to be talking about a subject that a viewer brought up and he writes to me, he writes, Lloyd, big fan of the channel and all the advice that you bring. Thanks man. Now my question to you is I've been talking to this girl for a while. I really like her, but we haven't been able to meet up because our city has been quarantined thanks to the coronavirus. But we have been messaging a lot back and forth. I feel like it's going really well, but I've been starting to worry. I'm worried that she is talking to other guys. Do you think she is? And if she is, how do I make sure that I stay at the top of the list of guys that she's talking to? Thanks so much. Talk soon. All right. So it sounds like this guy's talking to a girl. He likes her. They've been messaging. He's wondering if she's messaging other guys as well too. Okay. Well, probably. But that doesn't mean she's being super promiscuous. But how can this guy make sure that he stays at the top of the list of guys that's talking to this girl? So we're going to talk about that in this video. And also we're going to talk about how to not have this worry in the future. Because let me tell you, living your life, where you're constantly worried if the girl that you're talking to is talking to other guys or your dating is talking to other guys, certainly no way to live your life. Okay. So we're going to talk about all those things. But before we get into that, guys, I'm coming out with a product in two months or around two months. We'll see with this pandemic that's happening. So if you want to get a bonus video, you want to get notified about that, there is a link in the description box below. Click on that link, sign up, and we'll make sure you get notified. Okay. So to answer this guy's question, yeah, she probably is talking to other guys, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's really interested in them because the way women work, and I've seen this in my life, that they kind of want one guy. Whether it's a guy that they're hooking up with, seeing casually, dating, or being in a committed relationship with. Okay. Generally, I think that women are different. There are plenty of differences. But in general, this is what I've seen and what they've seen in studies because on average, most of the time, when they ask women how many sexual partners they'd like to have in a year, most respondents said just one. For men, the answer was a little bit higher. So she probably was looking for one guy. Now, what happens is usually she'll have a bunch of guys that she's messaging that are kind of options that, you know, maybe she likes in some way, shape, or form, but at the end of the day, when she chooses a guy that this is the guy that I really like that I'm into, a lot of times those guys will fall off. You'll usually see this when you're talking to a girl and you feel like it's going really well. And then out of nowhere, she just ghosts you and you're like, well, what did I do? I didn't do anything. Well, probably didn't do anything, but she probably picked a guy that was better for her. Okay. So the question becomes, how do you become that guy that gets picked? Well, I'll tell you one thing. You're probably not going to be that guy. If you're the guy that's always worried if she is talking to other guys. Okay. That's not something a high value guy really worries about. Okay. I haven't really worried about that for a long time because I know that I'm focusing on me. And look, man, if a girl's talking to other guys and she wants to pick one of them, I want her to do that. I don't want her to stick around with me and waste my time. Okay. Cause I know my value. I know what I'm worth. And if a girl doesn't see that, that's fine. She can go off and talk to some other guys, you know? Okay. Also, it helps to, to have the inner confidence within yourself or if it works, it works. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, no big deal either. Okay. So make yourself, put yourself as the best version of yourself that you can be because ultimately these guys that she's picking over you are doing something that you're not. And typically what I've seen in my programs and in my own lifetime, usually what's missing is connection. Okay. Not all the time. Sometimes, you know, maybe she just doesn't feel enough desire for you and it was like whatever. But generally I see it's connection because if she's messaging you, she gave you her phone number and you guys are talking and so, you know, she's taking the time to respond to your messages, probably there's something there. Okay. She's attracted to you in some way, shape, or form. Now, attraction is easy. Liking someone is easy. What's not easy and what's more rare is a deep connection with somebody. So how do you get a deep connection with somebody? Okay. Well, typically it comes down to like three things, you know, being, they have to be more familiar with to you. So they're more comfortable around you. So familiarity. You also need to bond with that person more meaning you have certain things you have in common. And then the last thing I think is a big important one, which is common goals meaning you guys are kind of, you know where each of you is going and you're kind of moving in the same direction. So how do you get this if you are someone who like you feel like you're at the bottom of the list right now? How do you upgrade your way to the top? So I'll tell you a story about how when I felt like I was at the bottom of the list and this story happened about, it happened years ago, but it happened with a girl that I knew in college. Now, I knew who she was in college. I don't think she I don't think she knew who I was. I think that maybe she could recognize my face, but that's about it. Because when we encountered each other, she was a little bit like, who are you? But you know, after some explaining, she knew who I was. So we met at this party. She didn't really seem to pay too much attention to me. But I got her phone number. So there was I guess maybe something there. I knew she was seeing a guy. I didn't know who it was. I knew of him. Clearly, I'm not at the top of the list of guys that she's messaging, but you know, we text message back and forth. I was talking to her. It wasn't really trying to hit on her or anything. So it was more just like casual banter back and forth. We were laughing with each other. We actually had some, some, some good back and forths going, which I really enjoyed. But ultimately it wasn't really hitting on her. Okay. So then we met at a party. We ran into each other at a party and I think just randomly on the street somewhere. Then Coachella happened and I was Coachella. She went to Coachella. We ended up meeting at a Coachella and then we just had this like really deep conversation where we talked about our common goals and that's really what triggered it. And then afterwards we, you know, hooked up for the rest of the festival. We dated each other for about, I think seven months, seven months or something like that. So what happened here? What changed? Well, she became more familiar with me by kind of running into me at some of these parties, us messaging back and forth. And I wasn't trying to get her out or anything. It was just, it was just me making conversations. So that breed of familiarity. She got used to me. She got more comfortable with me. And then at the same time, too, we had a lot of the same friends. We liked going to the same parties. So we have shared interests there. We were able to bond on those. I typically think you have to bond on three things. So it was like the people that we knew, the festivals that we liked going to, and then there was like some hobbies that we, we also liked. Now the last thing was the common goals. We, during that conversation, you know, even though I didn't think we were going to be able to connect on this because she was actually a stripper, she, I was actually a really ambitious person. She had a lot of goals besides being pretty, you know, besides being pretty and being sexual. She had a lot of different things that she was focused on. And we really connected on that. And that was the missing piece because I really felt like I knew her and I knew where she was going to, and she felt the same way about me, too. So once that happened, that connection was there. It just upgraded us from me just being this guy who may, maybe he's kind of cute, or maybe he seems nice, like to a guy who she actually, this is a guy that I want to get with. Okay. And after that, I later found out that she kind of stopped messaging all those other guys. I found out through them actually. So if you guys want to be the person at the top of this, I recommend going for connections. That's the thing that you can control. If there's not that much there, they're just going to focus on your looks, status, and all those things that are generally outside of your position to control in the short term. So think about this right now. What are some ways that you can connect with this person that you haven't been before? Lately, I've been FaceTiming a lot of the people that are important in my life, people that I'm dating, people that are friends, family, all of that stuff, it breeds a better connection. Messaging too, keeping up with them on social media, those sorts of things. See how you can build the connection in the three ways that I talked about. And if you can do that, I guarantee you you're going to be at the top of the list rather than the bottom. So thanks a lot, you guys. If you made today, consider subscribing. I come out with videos like this every single week. And look, if you're willing to get coached by me in person, you're looking to really upgrade your skills. I'm doing something special. Now that we're all at home, we can do a lot of self-worth, self-work to improve our self-worth. And so that's something that I would love to be able to do with you guys if you're interested. So if you're interested in that, there's a link in the description box below. Click on that link, fill out the form, and we'll get back to you. Cool. Thanks a lot, you guys. Good luck out there.