 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia You're looking very handsome this morning. Mr. Norton. I return the compliment mizzies Norton Mr. Norton, I'm always polite mizzies, not except then you're not which is never Where's my hat on your head? Absent mind. Oh, so it is. So it is. So it is Lovely early this morning small wonder. I've been getting myself ready since my six o'clock feeding Darling, don't you think you'll be able to learn how to sleep after you wake up that was slightly garbled But I'll learn in time by that time. It'll be too late We'll be back up in the farm and the baby will have a room all his own But he'll still have to be fed at six at ten at two at six at ten. Maybe we can cheat an hour I'll ask the doctor. We'll do nothing of the sort. He won't tell the baby I most certainly do not intend to ruin your health for the sake of his. Nobody's health being ruined We're not going into that now. I'm going down to the office. I hate to see you go Business as usual come over here a kiss for my favorite wife and mother. Oh Business as usual is nice I'm in such a generous mood. I might even say goodbye to my son. Oh, I'm sure he'd appreciate any better head It's going to be an awfully hot day. I can feel it already Creeping up around me. Well, we'll be getting back up to Eastbrook pretty soon Mornings are nice and cool up there and the night Oh, David, it's wonderful to have a farm Call our own except for a few minor financial obligations. It's our own and I'm glad of it So am I Although if you told me six months ago, I'd never believed you and if you'd have told me a year ago that I was going to be saddled with an Offspring I would never have believed you. No, you weren't even saddled with me a year ago How time flies. I wish it would fly slower But I'm not complaining They're lying in his carriage is time's greatest gift to us He's still sleeping Poor thing poor thing Sleep young fellow while you get the chance because once you're a man you will sleep no more David stop giving him ideas Why not he's giving me some move over boy Don't be silly. Tell me what you think of your son instead. Let me see. What do I think? He's still awfully small small. He's enormous for his age. Well, he's a lot bigger than a sparrow Hey Bobby Look at him. He doesn't even know his name. He is not a dog dogs are a lot brighter at two weeks dogs Can walk dogs can eat dogs even know their name Well dogs have four legs. Oh That's the difference. Yeah, I think it's time. He got out of bed Bobby and started earning your living in the meantime I'll go out and earn it for you David what darling babies grow awfully quickly. Don't they? What are you leading up to? Oh? I'm not leading up to anything's not especially then what are you leading up to? Not especially Well, I was thinking This is going to be good as a matter of fact. It didn't even take much thought that's encouraging David, I think we ought to have some pictures taken of him. What? What's so terrible about that? Everybody has pictures taking a baby darling You could go out and buy any old magazine and clip out any old baby picture in it and it would be just as good fine Talk for a newborn father. Oh babies look exactly like oh Well, I bet you if I lined up ten in a row ten you would you'd never know your son from the other night I bet you I bet you twenty dollars save your money Look at him to two ears to eyes and nose mouth to arms two legs and a great big stomach and all babies have that but his Personality his personality is individual well point out his personality. Oh Sometimes you are impossible. Sometimes I make sense Well, didn't your mother take pictures of you when you were a baby? She did Where are they none of your business? Oh? Can't I see them sometimes? No, I'd love to see them Pictures of you on your stomach with nothing on remind me to burn them See what you're embarrassed about there. You haven't seen the pictures Well, I let you see mine. Yeah, you are a girl. That's it's different with girls. Why why? Why I I think it's a ridiculous fetish of our society if we can't remember what our son looks like We don't deserve pictures to remind well now I never was a picture-taking kind of woman. That's one of the reasons I married you but I feel sort of like this is different I Mean if we had other children be nice to compare them say it Three weeks comparisons are odious now Maybe I'd like to look at them when I'm older You'll never grow that old You talk a lot, but I saw you gurgling over those pictures of me when mama showed them to you a few months ago That's because you look so silly. I did exactly the way you look now only only smaller. Thanks. It's all right At least you had a good time of them. You might thank me for that. Yeah, thanks darling. You're welcome Believe me. I'm not going to be the kind of parent who goes around showing off pictures of his child Just because you have the picture doesn't mean you have to show them off then why I have them Why not? Well, do you carry pictures of me around in your wallet? You are nothing to be so proud of Well, I'm a darn sight handsomer than that that offspring of yours. He's yours, too. I admit that Sometimes I think you haven't got one fatherly feeling in you. Oh on the contrary I think Bobby's a pretty nice kid. There's kids of his age go my like him I'm getting very fond of it. No photograph will ever take his place. Well, maybe you're right Still he looks awfully cute lying there on his stomach Look darling if you really want pictures call up the photographer There's no hurry Except for you to get going. You're gonna be late instead of early. I'm on my way. See you tonight Bobby David promise you'll eat a decent lunch. I most certainly will eat a decent lunch having lunch with Colligan You'll probably eat Irish stew Good to get back into a man's world away from this nursery away from diapers and condensed milk and bottles and safety That's a good thing. I don't believe half the things you say Well, there's nothing a man likes better than sitting down to a man's lunch with another man discussing purely man's business Now when Colligan and I get together We're not in how's that offspring of yours coming along? Oh, yeah, I'm doing all right. I suppose Now about your steel contract. Yeah, they're cute at two weeks. That's their kind of cute Now Colligan, I wanted to talk to you about the contract chosen a name for me it We're calling him after my wife's father Robert. Oh fine name Robert my third one's called Robert Got red hair big eyes and freckles as fine boy. I'm sure he is now if you can see your way clear to give me the day to Delivery on the steel. I'm sure what's the hurry? What's that? We got plenty of time to talk My first Patrick my second one's Sean my third one Robert We called him that because when he was little he had no Irish look about my toilet Oh, but he sure grew up to fool us. Yeah, and the littlest one Kathleen. That's quite a handful. There's nothing like them I'm sure they're adorable Now about the steel specification here. Here the wait till I get them out. Oh Where did I put that wallet so I was disappearing in the wrong pocket? Oh, here it is here No Here's a picture of Kathleen when she was three weeks old. No Very cute cute. She was and prodigiously advanced to born with one tooth. She was you don't say Oh, I had a full set of uppers and lowers before she turned three Look at that. They're lying on her stomach Yeah, did you ever see anything so cute? No, I never did. Ah, don't be so modest land I know you're thinking yours is cuter Not bad, but I I know you wouldn't want to miss this one. It's a picture of Sean and his 300 pants What the well-dressed man my day they were born they've wound me Colligan 243 pounds mind you want me around the little fingers. Oh putty in their hands. I am There was a fine steak fine indeed Tell me not and you have them on four-hour feedings. Yes Yes, every four hours all day and all night Now I guess we can get on to those delivery dates that I want to set with you Yeah, time for that now these here pictures we took the summer we spent up in Maine This one here's Patrick in this here picture. We took out in the island last summer. Oh, yes It is a picture of me holding Robert when he was all of three weeks old Fat little boy, wasn't he? Well, he's not much Fatter than mine now. He's by Barney McGonagall, man No, baby was fatter than Robert was at three weeks You know to take a look at Bobby and see for yourself. That's all why the doctor said to me This is one of the fattest babies. I ever did see all right No, all right since I since I have no picture You win this round Colligan this round now. What about the steel contract? There was a lady who specializes in childhood Education she said to my wife that child I have never seen so fat a child Well That was a real nice lunch. Yes. It was. I don't need that good man's talk Might have to warm it Stifling Well, I guess I better be rushing back to the office can't take too long as you know Essie and not wait a minute. Colligan. Wait a minute. What about that date of delivery on the steel? We're gonna call you about it and man if you think your baby is bigger than mine You'll have to prove it. Well, I'll prove it. All right Big Irish Just wait just wait until I get a hold of my wife I'm going to the nearest phone booth. I'm going to call her up and I'm going to tell her a thing Oh David. Hello darling What? Darling you sound so excited it Get that photographer and get those pictures taken The day the darling this morning you said you didn't want to have pictures to what? What's that you said? All right, dear. All right. All right. I'll call the photographer All right, if you insist David, I'll call him right away honestly The more I know about David the less I know about men. Oh well One sometimes gets the impression that certain families have a magic formula for making a hit with the young folks because all the teenagers flock to their houses again and again if You track down the great secret. It's often nothing more than this The lady of the house keeps a plentiful supply of coke on ice at all times She knows there's no better way of attracting the young people and keeping her own kids at home Mr. King before you leave would you like to have a look at the pictures of my four little ones? I'd like to very much. I have a few of my own. I think you might like to look at boy would indeed You have four of them. Hey must be quite a handful for your wife They'll took her a while before she learned to manage, but the little woman is right good at it now Yeah, how is young mrs. Norton managing or as much as everyone will let her manage. She's managing very fine I'm hoping I'll be meeting her very soon. Well right now. She's got enough on her hands She gets the work done one way or another one way or another Mostly another as David will find out tomorrow and begorah. What does that mean? It means that baby clothes get washed bottles boiled and dinner on the stove as if by an unseen hand magic Huh, not quite magic, but come around tomorrow and you'll find out what Claudia uses instead I'll be there indeed nice to have magic the top of the day to you, mr. King and the top of the day to you mr. Colligan Every day Monday through Friday. Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying olive wire and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola or coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold Coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola