 Transcribed. The Kraft Foods Company presents Wellard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you each week at this time by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, a name that for years has meant fine cheese, is the maker of the new Kraft Deluxe Slices, a wonderful pasteurized processed cheese. These slices are perfect, no dried edges, no broken pieces, because they're wrapped right in the spick and span Kraft plant. You'll find Kraft is delicious processed cheese in slices, in neat half pound packages in your grocer's dairy case, eight big slices in every package. Tomorrow, take home some of these convenient packages and get acquainted with Kraft Deluxe Slices, the most delicious processed cheese you've ever tasted. Back on New Year's Eve, the Great Gilded Sleeve persuaded Rumson Bullard, his wealthy neighbor, to take a date off his hands. They've been on the go ever since and Bullard is really living, but we don't know how long Gilded Sleeve can last. Good night, Miss Milford. Good night, Rumson. Both your boys didn't have to see me to the door. Well, I like to be around pretty girls as long as possible. Isn't he good-line, Stark Morton? Sure, sure. Just think, tonight I've had the privilege of seeing two beautiful ladies to their doors. My date, Miss Chase, are now you. How lucky can a man be? Oh, love, sir. You corny character, you used the same line last night. Been a wonderful evening. Good night, Stark Morton. Good night. He's the one time I'm even glad to say good night to Catherine. Wait a minute. Let's not say good night yet. Let's all go to Joe's Beanery for chili and bean. Oh, my goodness. Good boy. He's after midnight. Just the shank of the evening. What do you say, Catherine? Oh, I couldn't possibly. I need my beauty sleep. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, if sleep is the source of beauty, Catherine, you obviously sleep more than most women. Oh, Mr. Brower. Oh, brother. Well, Joe, to sleep, why don't you and I swing by on the way home? Now, Bullard, let's not overdo this. But the Beanery is very lively this time of night. It caters to playboys and truck drivers. Well, this playboy is going to truck on home. Nobody. He was out late last night. Again? That man. Poor Anki. Mr. Bullard's leading him a merry chase. Yeah, Anki must be bushed. When he turns the shop... I hang something down the stairs now. I'll go start his bacon and egg. I think I'll put my last prune on his dish. He needs the energy. Good morning, Anki. Good morning, Anki. Good morning. Good morning, Leroy. Good morning, Bronco. Open your eyes, Uncle. Bronco isn't here. Oh? Where is he? He went to work half an hour ago. Yeah, you're late. I know, Leroy. Bronco was so cute this morning, Anki. He said he wanted to get as much work done as possible before our baby comes next month. Who? And he says he'll get up and give the baby his two o'clock formula while I sleep. But why not let Anki feed the baby at two o'clock? What's this, Leroy? You'll be just coming in. Yes, yes. Let me pour your coffee, Anki. Thank you, my dear. Quite a glare on the coffee this morning. You can't keep up with Mr. Bullard, Uncle Mord? Oh, no. Well, you have to get up and go to the water department while he can sleep till noon. Yeah, he's retired, and you're just tired. Now, children, I can stay on my feet as long as Bullard can. Anki doesn't want Liz Milford to know he's slow enough. Leroy, I'm not slowing up. What about me? Yeah, I'm not half asleep. I'm wide awake. Yeah? Jelly on your napkin. Yo. Well, it was on my plate where my toast usually is. Jelly on... Leroy, don't laugh at Uncle Mord. Sure, sure. Come on, Miss Gil, please. Here's your breakfast. Yeah, thank you, Bertie. What's everybody laughing at? Unxed punchy. Bullard's a going out. You're now Bertie. Yes, sir. That man got you burned to death. Let Bullard in. Isn't that bad, Bertie? You better slow down, Miss Gil, please. We don't want the water commissioner to be put out of commission because he's burning the candle at both ends. Yeah, all right, Bertie. Yes, if you keep burning the candle at both ends, the water commissioner's going to be put out of commission. Bertie, please. Miss Gil, do you know what would happen if you keep burning the candle at both ends? Yes, Bertie. That side of the water commissioner would be put out of... Bertie sure hates to give up an idea. Yeah, fast on napkin. Yeah, I mean the toast. You're pretty. Yeah, hello, Mr. Gellis, man. What can I do for you this morning? Give me a cup of coffee, Pee-Pee. I didn't get to finish mine at home. Yeah, so? There was a lot of noise around the house this morning. Your Christmas bills arrived? It wasn't that, Pee-Pee. No. Is the new baby here? No. Marjorie isn't expecting the baby until February. Man, February is a good month. We had Washington and Lincoln in February. Yeah. How about the coffee, Pee-Pee? Coming up. I was a July baby myself. Pretty hot months to get it started. I had prickly heat, so they'd tell me. Pee-Pee, you're still holding my coffee. Well, here you are, Mr. Gellislee. Thank you. I can't seem to wake up this morning. I take it you've been going out quite a little lately, Mr. Gellislee. Your gents' cologne bill is running higher this month. Well, since I persuaded Bullard to go out with me New Year's Eve, we've been pretty busy. How's your lady friend, Miss Milford, standing the late hours? You know girls, Pee-Pee. They like to go. Yeah, that's the way it was when I was courting Mrs. Pee-Pee. She liked to go. Sometimes I think I should have let her. What's that? Go out more often, I mean. But we didn't have much money for getting. Yeah, I think you did the right thing, Pee-Pee. If you'd taken her a lot of places, you might have met some rich fellow like Bullard and married him. Then you'd have been sorry. No, I think... I don't get someone. Yeah, that's right, Pee-Pee. Look at my desk. Let's face it, water commissioner, you're neglecting your work. The papers are piled so high there's no place to lay my head. Yeah, I have to catch a few winks. Yeah, I might open the top drawer and lay my head in it. Nobody can see me behind this stack of papers. Yeah, this is where I like it. You're hoping that the williger doesn't pop in today? Yeah, well, I'll live dangerously. It's just that it is dead. It's just that it is dead. It's just that it is dead. It's just that it is dead. It's just that it is dead. He'll sleep. I didn't hear you come in. He'll sleep. What are you babbling about? No, it's you, Bullard. Have you been sleeping? Me? No. Your eyes are red. Well, I stain, I guess. I was looking for a bottle of ink in this dark drawer. I didn't expect to see you until the night, Bullard. I come with a tale of rotten luck. You know, we can't go out tonight. We can't? My date has pulled up lame. You exact? Vicky has a blister on her heel from dancing too much last night. Yeah, that's too bad. I know you're disappointed, you know, I hate to let you down, but we'd better call off our double date. Yeah, I think nothing of it, Bullard. Everybody can't stand the gaff the way we can. I'll call Catherine and cancel everything. Well, I guess it's the only thing to do. You wouldn't want me to share your date. Well, they do say three is a crowd. Catherine must be asleep. And this is her day off. Really? Then it's too bad she can't be entertained this evening. Yes, frankly, Bullard. I'm just as glad we're staying home. I'm not too keen about going out tonight. Oh? Hello, Catherine. This is Rockmorton. Well, about tonight, Catherine, Mr. Bullard is here, and tells me Vicky can't go out. So why don't we just call the whole thing off? Yeah, Catherine, don't be disappointed. We'll all get a good night's rest and go out again soon. Wait a minute. Give me that phone. There's no use disappointing Catherine. Well, what are you up to? Hello, Catherine. This is Rumson. Oh, hello, Rumson. Catherine, I have a corking good idea. Vicky can't go out this evening, and Gildersleeve wants a good night's rest. You offer. Bullard. So why don't you and I carry on for the gang? Carry on, all right. Now, see here, Bullard, I'm going to... Give me that phone. But Gildersleeve, remember what you said. Three is a crowd. That's why I'm going. If you're with Catherine, I want to be in the crowd. Gildersleeve will be back in just a moment. You'll find every single bit of fine processed cheese flavor. More flavor than you've ever enjoyed before in every perfect slice. Then, so these slices of delicious processed cheese reach you in perfect condition with no dried edges or broken pieces. They're wrapped right in the spic and span craft plant. Kept clean and sanitary and perfect all the way to your kitchen. And when you unwrap that neat package, you'll find eight generous slices. Each one large enough to cover a slice of bread. So handy for quick, easy cheese sandwiches and snacks. You could keep several kinds of crafty luck slices in your refrigerator because those neat packages take up so little room. Tomorrow, look for them in your grocer's dairy case, those perfect slices of extra good processed cheese, crafty luck slices. Well, let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. It has been said that early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Our water commissioner hasn't been getting to bed early, so he doesn't feel healthy. He isn't exactly wealthy. And he's going out again tonight, so you'd hardly call him wise. You darned that bullard. Well, by George, nobody's going to catch this water commissioner asleep on the job. I'm going to sleep at home. Please? Yes, Bertie. I'm glad of it. Yes. From the way you looked this morning, I thought you'd be home early. Well, I have an engagement this evening, Bertie. So I'm going in the den and catch a little shout-out. Yes, sir. You and Mr. Bullard taking the girls out again tonight? Well, Miss Chase isn't going. As a smart woman? Well, I wasn't interested in going out either. But Mr. Bullard wants to go. Yes, sir. And Catherine has the day off. She wants to go out tonight. Yes, sir. Naturally, I don't want them to spend a dull evening together. So I'm going along. Yes, sir. There's another smart woman. Bertie, I'm closing the den door. I don't want to be disturbed. No. Yeah, I'll be all right. I'll be able to answer the bell tonight if I get some sleep. Nice couch. You better loosen my tie. This is it. Just what I needed all day. Peace and quiet. Hang on! Oh, Leroy! I'm just going home from school. So why here? Bertie told me you weren't to be disturbed. That's right, Leroy. So I come in to tell you I won't disturb you. Very considerate. Unless you'd like to come outside and pass the football. No, Leroy. Okay. Leroy, please. Let me sleep. Okay. Well, I won't just... ...jangbusters. Oh, well. He's enacted you. I wish I had some of his energy. Yeah, I'll... ...store up a little right now. It's... What's that? Anki! Yes, Marjorie? May I come in? You're over it. Come in, my dear. Bertie told me how tired you were and I thought you'd like some warm milk. You'd like some warm milk. Just put it there on the bookshelf, my dear. Well, Anki, you'll get cold. Drink it! Oh, yes, drink it. I... I... He's very soothing. Here's the glass. Sleep tight, Anki. We'll call you for dinner. Yes, Anki, Marjorie. You had a thoughtful girl. Just what I needed. Warm milk and a good bed. You know, sleep like a baby. If I don't, I'll never make it through the night. Hey... You over it. You over it. Judge Hooker, what's he doing here? I have your income tax forms, Gildy. Thought I'd stop by and drop them off. Thank you and goodbye, Judge. Bertie told me that you weren't to be disturbed, but Gildy, you look droopy. I don't think you're feeling well. I'm all right. Let me feel your forehead. Judge, please. You need another blanket over you. Judge, I just want to be left alone. I am not going to leave you like this, old friend. You're sick. You have a judge. It always helps to have someone in the room. I'll just sit here by your bed. All right, if you insist. But sit quietly. Now, I'll read this book. If you have any trouble going to sleep, Gildy, you might try counting sheep. How can I count sheep when all I see is an old goat? Yeah. I'll just ignore him. I can't chase him out. Here's an amusing passage. You said you'd be quiet. I was quiet. You laughed. I didn't sleep at the office. I'll never be able to keep up with Bullard tonight. Thanks for helping me dress Leroy. I never would have made it without you. That's okay. Good luck tonight, uncle. Thanks. You'll need it. Yeah, I sure will. How are you going to see over those bags under your eyes? You all right, Leroy? Don't kick me when I'm down. So, uncle? Yeah. That cold shower must have done you good. You look... You look horrible. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I'll sit in the dark as much as possible tonight. Here, let me help you on with your coat. Thanks. Now, let me put your hat on your head. Thanks. And I'll open the door for you. Thanks. Good night, uncle. Thanks. Yeah, I mean, good night. Nice of the little family to rally around me at a time like this. Bullard's house is dark. We were taking his car. Say, wouldn't it be wonderful if he took a nap and didn't wake up in time for tonight? Hello, Catherine. Good evening, Catherine. Come on in, both of you. Get your coat, Catherine. We must be on our way. We're going to paint the town tonight a different color. The only color I can see is green. Just put your coat down there. We have to wait until Mother comes back from the drugstore. Somebody has to be here to answer the phone. You're all good. Everybody sit down. Say, I have a suggestion. Let's all go square dancing at the Red Bar. Square dancing? Square dancing. It's vigorous exercise, and they have a new orchestra. Oh, that sounds like fun. Oh, it is. It is. Give me your hand. I'll show you. Alamin, left to the old left hand. Right to your partner. Now, right and left, Brad. Bullard, swing her high and swing her sweet. Swing that gal with the great big feet. Oh, there's nothing personal, Catherine. Country Club Hillbilly. That is wonderful. Come on, come on. Let's go down. Bullard, don't be pushy. You have to wait for Catherine's mother. Oh, oh, yeah. So sit down. Gildersleeve, I think you're tired. No, no, I'm not. Well, what do we do while we're waiting? Why don't we listen to some music? Oh, let's do something we can participate in. This rubs in your vigor amazes me. Oh, thank you. Say, I learned a new charade today. Watch me and tell me what I am. He's an idiot. Sure I could never get. Oh, of course you can. Here, I'll give you another clue. All right. I've got to do something to keep awake. Maybe if I sang a good, loud song and hear the cobwebs. I can't sing. You'd take the play away from Bullard, too. I give up, Brumson. I'm afraid I'm not thinking too fast tonight. See, I have an idea. Oh, Catherine, you mentioned music. Why don't you play the piano? Oh, yes, that's a capital idea. I'll sing. Oh, no. Brockmorton has a beautiful voice, Brumson. What do you want to sing, Brockmorton? Well, something loud. How about a sleep in the deep? Not bad. You hope I can get through it. Just one chorus, please, Gil, please. Then we can get back to the charade. He's sure, he's sure. Loudly the bell in the old tower rings Bidding us list to the wall. I think it's helping me. Deepen my voice. Do you like it, Brumson? I hope you're not offended. Me? No. This goes to show Bullard can't take it the way I can. Where's my chair? I suppose Brumson didn't want to admit he was tired. Well, he might pull a sleep. It was not me. Even my constitution, I can go on and get on. Yeah, I can get on. Brockmorton. Now they're both asleep. We each other like Brockmorton's snore better. We'll be right back. How about it? I'd like to treat your folks to their favorite kinds of pasteurized processed cheese in slices so they can make delicious cheese snacks and sandwiches quickly and easily. Of course you do. So keep your refrigerator stocked with several of the five delicious varieties of Kraft Deluxe Slices. There's Kraft American that's so mellow good. Kraft American with scarlet tomatoes added. Nutsweet Kraft Swiss. Kraft Brick with deep rich flavor. And sharp old English brand. Try them all. For quick, easy to make cheese snacks and sandwiches. There's nothing like these perfect slices of extra delicious processed cheese. Kraft Deluxe Slices. Brockmorton. Brockmorton. Hey, hey, hey. You. You got him. He almost dropped out for a second. Yes, you did. Hey, hey, hey, you little boy. Sound asleep. He just can't take it. Come on, Catherine. Let's sneak out. We'll go to the dance without him. Throckmorton, I've already been to the dance. Yeah, that's what I said. We'll go to the USF. Dr. Olsen stopped by, and he took me. I just got home. It's a quarter after 12. Quarter after 12? Oh, my goodness. Well, it's Joe's leave. Bullard's waking up. There, I must have closed my eyes for a second. Well, I feel better. Come on, Catherine. Let's go square dancing. Bullard, you've been asleep all evening. It's after 12. Oh, no. No. Catherine, how could I have done such a thing? Shame on you, Bullard. Here's your hat. Come on home, old man. Yeah. Good night, Catherine. Good night, Catherine. Good night, folks. May Gildo's leave is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by Paul West, John Eileen, and Mandy Weiss, producing by Robert Armbruster. We look for the cast for Walter Ketley, Mary Lee Robb, Billy Randolph, Gail Gordon, Kathy Lewis, Earl Ross, and Dick LeGrand. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gildo's leave. Want to taste something good? Well, next time you make a cold meat sandwich, don't forget to add a little Kraft prepared mustard. But when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Every bite tastes better. Now you can get two kinds of Kraft mustard. Salad mustard delicately spiced for those who prefer a milder flavor. And Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Get both kinds. Every meat dish hot or cold, just add a little mustard and you'll add a lot of tang. Kraft prepared mustard. Be sure to hear the Falcon each Sunday over this station. Check your newspaper for time of broadcast and listen next Sunday as the Falcon solves the case of the happy hoodlum. The preceding is transcribed. Listen next for Groucho Mark.