 If you have a business, you have to sell in order to have income customers, clients in your business. But most of the time, selling feels painful or at least awkward or maybe intimidating for most people. But what if selling can feel like a joy? What if it can feel like such a fulfilling activity in itself that it's something that you actually want to do? If that were the case, you would actually do more selling and you would have more clients and customers because it's something you enjoy doing. So in this video, what I'm going to do is to read a chapter of my book, Authentic Selling. And as I read it, I'm going to have some commentary that's not in the book that you may benefit from as well. So here we go. Have you ever heard that sales is a numbers game? According to that traditional idea, you just have to pitch your services or products. So a lot of people and some of them will become your clients or customers. A sales trainer might even tell you that every no that you hear means you are closer to a yes. If you've actually tried that, you'll know that it is brutal. Okay, trying to sell to a bunch of people is both intimidating and inauthentic as a way of connecting with others. And so let me go on a sidebar here and say that it's like selling and marketing is like a necessary evil to a lot of people, those of us especially who are trying to build authentic business. Why we want a business that expresses our passions where we really feel like we're making an impact and oh gosh, we have to do marketing and sales because that's the only way to get to that kind of business that we want. And then we kind of grate our teeth to do the marketing and sales. But I, part of my passion and mission is to transform that for all of us to say what if the marketing and sales in itself was an act of service, what if it was in itself part of your calling and part of your mission and how you connect with people. And so instead of thinking about the transaction which is what the problem is with most salespeople who we don't like most, but when someone says a salesperson, they don't think oh, warm and fuzzy thoughts. I was so love hanging out with salespeople when they're trying to sell me their thing. No, it's like oh, they're trying to get me to do something, trying to get me to do, like they're trying to trick me into buying or they're trying to hypnotize me at the softest way. Hypnotize me or kind of get me over to their side and finally I'll sign up and buy. It's so not what we want our friends to do, right? If your friend's always trying to get you to do something, trying to persuade you to do this, you're like no, it's like why can't sales and marketing be human? Oh, because George doesn't work, don't be naive. No, I've got a full time, I've got an amazing business. I have a waiting list of clients. I mean, I haven't needed to sell my services literally since 2016 for two years now. And yet I have a full client load and a waiting list and I'm trying to turn people away, refer people. So no, it doesn't have to be like that. Okay, so let me continue with the book. What if there was an alternative way to think about it that felt much more human and heart centered as well as being more effective? Try this instead. As you talk to people who might or might not become your clients, put yourself in the mode of understanding and helping them, okay? Try to find out the issues and challenges they're struggling with, okay? You probably know some person or some resource that can be helpful for them. Now, in some cases, it turns out that your service or product is exactly what they need and want right now. If so, great. You can then say something like, this is actually the kind of work I love doing with people in my business. If you're interested, I can give you more information on how I work with clients, right? But first, come to the conversation from an attitude of helping being unattached to whether they hire you. This way, when it becomes apparent that they do want your help, you can simply share information or answer their questions from a place of authentic connection. I would be honored to have you as a client, you might say, right? So let me take another sidebar and say, essentially, it is about coming from a place of service and of love to whomever you're talking to. Yes, you would like more clients. Yes, you want more people, you know, buyers, but the person you're talking to has their own issues and challenges going on with them. They're not coming into the conversation saying, why, I hope you'll persuade me into buying, right? They're, in fact, if anything, they're coming in the conversation saying, I hope you don't pitch me on something because I don't like being pitched. Nobody likes being pitched unless they request it to be pitched, which, you know, you'll get there with your business too, right? But even if they request it to be pitched, nobody likes to be strong armed or pitched. They like to have somebody understand what's going on with them and help them to the best of their ability. So can we do that? And if you do that, you end up making friends, you end up, you know, having people who just appreciate who you are and want to help you, that's it. You want people to want to help you rather than be defensive about your pitch, which is how most salespeople do it. They go like this and then people are like this. It's not fun for either party, right? So let me continue on with the book. When sales is only seen as a numbers game, you may have to talk to 100 people and maybe you get three to five new clients. So what does that mean, the sidebar here? That means you had 95 to 97 rejections. Okay, maybe you're a really good salesperson and you get 20 clients for every 100 that you talk to, the 100 people that you try to sell to, or maybe it's 50, I don't care, but you're still getting a lot of rejection and rejection is not fun and you don't have to ever face rejection in building an authentic business. That's my whole framework. You never have to face rejection. I know that sounds amazing, right? Because most people are trying to teach you to get strong, get tough, to not care about rejection. But when you become strong and tough and not care about rejection, you also become less human. You become more like a robot, right? You become more just about the numbers and about the script and about, I don't care who you are, I'm just gonna say my thing and if you don't buy it, I don't care about you, the next person, next, next, next. We need less of that in this world now. We need more human connection, more caring and genuine service. Okay, so continuing on with the book. Imagine all that time spent trying to sell those 100 people to have to keep vigilant in those conversations for a bridge to start talking about your business and service. It feels inauthentic and exhausting. So sidebar again. It's like that, it's like if I'm talking to you and I'm nervous and I'm trying to sell you because you could become a client and that's my, like I'm talking to you and you're one of my numbers I have to talk to today, then I'm just, I'm not really listening to you. I'm just waiting for an opportunity for me to finally be able to talk about my product or service. I'm not really caring about you. I'm caring about myself and my own business. And if I only think about myself, then I can't really understand and help you. But if I drop that and say, I'm just going to see, how can I understand you better in this conversation than the short time we have to try to help you, whether or not it's my service, whether or not you're going to buy anything from me ever, I'm going to try to help you right now. That's my goal. Oh, well, it turns out I have a friend who you should buy from him or her or maybe somebody who's not even a friend. Oh, I bought from this person or I have a website that I just saw that would be super helpful for you. I'm not connected at all to that website or to that business, right? Just trying to help you. Just trying to understand, right? Okay, back to the book. Instead, when sales is seen as a process of understanding and helping, then you might still talk to 100 people, but the feeling's very different. You are genuinely curious about what they're going through and what kind of help they need, whether it's an idea, a resource, a tool, a referral or simply a kind listener. Sometimes that's all people need and they're blessed in your presence, right? Back to the book. Or you may be delighted to discover that what they need at this time is your service, right? Let it be a surprise rather than artificially planned and ulterior motive. I'm pretending to help you, but I'm actually trying to sell you, right? Which is how most people, most sales people are pretending to care about us, but they just really care about the transaction first and foremost, right? Back to the book. Just help people. As a result of your perspective shift, you'll no longer be churning through people, but instead you'll be serving everyone that you connect with, bringing more light into their lives. Serve rather than sell. It is a much more enjoyable process and not surprisingly, some of the people you talk with will want to come back to you as a resource. But whatever happens, you will be embodying the golden principle, the golden rule. Treat others with a kind of understanding and helping that you too would like to receive. So that is the end of the chapter. That actually is chapter one from my book, Authentic Selling. As of this date, it's not yet out, but it will be released on September 18, 2018. Maybe some of you watching this have already bought the book and you're coming back and watching this companion video. So I hope that was helpful. And again, I'll end this conversation by saying that truly if we care more, then others are willing to care. We will have more attention and more customers than other people have. So I hope this is helpful. And I wanna thank those who are able to join me for this live video. Nikki, thank you. Marcelo from Costa Rica, welcome. Thank you. Alejandra, thank you. And yeah, thanks for those who are, see Sharon and Gudrun, Tanya, Alex and Kristen as well. So hello to you. Thank you and see you in the next video. Any questions you have, let me know in the comments below. Be well.