 I really can't describe to you what it's like to be an alcoholic. It's miserable. So anxiety riddled. Every morning I would wake up and wonder how I got to that point again. How can I hide it? The first thing I would think of when I'm helping my career, how would you be able to help me? How much can I make for you? It was running my life. Yeah. Probably better than I could. So Michael and I met in seventh grade. Mr. Koss is math class. He actually sat behind me. We had a cute kiss together at around that age and then never really spoke much after that. We just like remained friends and life kind of parted ways. And then when Michael came home from Iraq, I was out celebrating my birthday with a few of my friends and he happened to be at the same place and I like came down the stairs and he out of everybody in the room stood up and was like, you look so beautiful and the whole night we just talked and it was instant connection. We've been together ever since then. Well to be honest, I knew that he had a problem drinking but I don't think I could have even imagined how bad it was. My drinking really started running out of control and binge drinking when I came back from Iraq. My career was demanding. I felt out of control in every aspect of my life. I felt overwhelmed. We would go out to dinner and I'd have a glass of wine and leave it at that. He would order a drink and then have another drink and have another drink. Like God, I don't understand. I'm praying for my husband to like find you to find salvation for him to want to go to church with me and yet we're having these same arguments so it's frustrating. This alcoholism was this insidious onset. It was the first thing I would think of when I wake up. How am I going to drink today? How much am I going to get? How can I keep my career? How can I keep my family but manage this drinking problem that was running me? The more I drank the more my faith was lost and it led to this incomprehensible demoralization for me. It's like one day I looked behind me and all of a sudden there's this line and I had crossed it and I had no idea how I had gotten to that point or how long I had been across that line. My life was just completely out of control. I got a phone call from the ambulance. You need to head to Bronson. I had our son with us who at the time was almost three and we were allowed to see him in the hospital room and when we went in there the first thing he said to me is I just want to get my life right with God. Laying there in a hospital bed this overwhelming peace came across me and I remember very clearly God meeting me in that moment and the Holy Spirit said Michael give this to me I can do this and as long as that took to get to that point where my life had just become unmanageable it was resolved within a moment. I felt loved. I felt welcomed. I felt like I was myself again. I felt just I felt an overwhelming calming peaceful presence in my life and I haven't had a compulsion to drink it's doing for me what I could not do for myself. For it to come in this way is not the way anybody would have wanted it but finally I was just like thank you God for answering this prayer. It was a miracle. I feel like God has put it on my heart to share my story to let other people know that there is hope and there's good news out there in the love of Jesus. Before I came to Christ looking to stop drinking I wasn't expecting to become a better father a better husband I got saved and my heart had been changed forever.