 the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honnies. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? I'm fine, thank you. The bird said to Prince Diane. Oh, you mean about the falconry contest? Yes. She said that whatever their birds caught, they would have to eat it for dinner that night. Even if the birds caught a skunk, do you think that any of their birds will catch a skunk? Well, that's something we'll find out today. Maybe Val's bird won't catch anything. That means he'd be skunked. Oh, yes. That's what my brother always says when he gets beaten in the game. Yes, I think that's what all boys say. I even know a boy once who couldn't give a single answer on an examination that he had in school. And when the teacher read his examination paper, you know what was on it? No. A little poem. The poem read, I have sat here for an hour, and I thunk, and thunked, and thunked. I couldn't answer anything. And so I guess I'm skunked. Oh, that was very funny. I thought so too. I even thought that was very, very, very funny. So did I, funny? Puck the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, Hoppe along Cassidy. My key quits for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hoppe along. Hoppe's pal, Buck Peters, is leaving the bar 20 ranch, moving to Wyoming. As California and Lucky help him pack up, California asks, hey, what do we do for reforming after you and Rose leave the bar 20 to settle down in Wyoming, Buck? Buck replies, well, Hoppe's taken over. I wish he'd get back from the post office though. Gotta have that deed before I leave for rimfire. Meanwhile in town, last picture top roll, Hoppe is inquired at the post office for the deed. A deed is a piece of paper which is proof to anybody that you own a certain piece of property. Hoppe learns that someone has gotten away with the deed. He rides up to the depot just as the train pulls out. He says to the ticket agent, hey, somebody got away with a letter addressed to Buck Peters. They headed this way. Any strangers board that train? Well, yeah, sure, two of them bought tickets for rimfire in Wyoming. Hoppe goes after the train. Faster and faster he gallops. He catches up to it just outside of town. He reaches over, grabs onto the handrail, and pulls himself onto the train. Through the door, he sees two strangers. One has the deed in his hand. Last picture second row, he hears the stranger saying, Buck said, bar 20 hand, we can get rid of that deed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll toss it in the stove. What Buck Peters never receives can't hurt us. First picture bottom row, Hoppe opens the door. I'll take that letter and snatches a letter out of the startled man's hand. The man leaps at Hoppe, jamming his finger in Hoppe's eye. They fall backward through the door. And last picture, it topples off the platform of the speeding train. Yes, some people fight dirty, and that man is one of them. Well, yeah. So do I. Dranch now that Hoppe has that deed. Well, that's something else we'll find out next week. Now? Three, because I'm sure Prince Viola will be there. All right, over the page we go. And you are right. Yes, today is the day of the falconry contest. And everyone is excited. They're leaving the castle to go out in the fields. Alita with her merlin, a swift, beautiful bird, Val with his falcon that is a little older than it should be, and King Agwar with his eagle. Each of them has trained his bird to hunt other birds. And the bird that makes the best catch wins the contest for his master. Oh, I wonder who's going to win the contest. Well, now let's read and find out. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur, heck-it-break-it, gray-mulkin, and quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Prince Valiant and Alita ride forth one golden summer morn to put their skill as ostringers, which means bird trainers, to the test. The wager is that tonight each will feast or hunger on the results of the day's hunt. Test begins. Man are sent out into the fields to beat through the grass to startle any birds that may be nesting there. When the bird flies up, the hunter bird goes after it. Alita is the first to turn her merlin loose and see what happens. Suddenly, last picture, top row, the beaters flush a pot ridge. And Alita flies her merlin. Straight and true, darts the fierce little killer. And in an explosion of feathers, brings to grass a bird twice as large as herself. And Alita cries, meet on the table. First picture, second row, in a distance, a black speck resolves itself into a widgen, winging its way to the marsh. Bell plucks the hood from his sullen falcon, grasps the neck and leg straps, turns his hand over until the hawk is horizontal, then launches it as he would a javelin. But unlike the straight flying merlin, a falcon dives from above. Gaining altitude for the strike gives the panic stricken duck that the falcon is going after, just time enough to plummet into the marsh. And last picture, second row, the falcon soars to the nearest tree to south. First picture, bottom row, Val coaxes with voice and lure. But the falcon won't come down. And then, for miles around, come the noisy crows, unable to resist their favorite sport of teasing a bird of prey. Itching with moat, confused by the lure and the noise, the hawk sails out from the tree. And then, in sudden, mad fury, strikes an unwary crow. And trailing black feathers, she comes to grass at Val's feet. Last picture, there's a moment of stunned silence at this most unhawk-like conduct. And Alita squeals, meet on the table, dear husband. Will you have it baked or fried? Oh, poor Uncle. Yes, poor Val is stuck. I wonder what the king will catch. We'll find that out next week. Oh, sounds good. Yeah. Looks like the wood's getting won't be a part of our story. I guess not. No. Well, now, what would you like to read? You know what? I'd like to read Uncle Remus. All right, then, let's turn over the page. And go past page four, cross past page five, turn over another page. And there, on page six, is Uncle Remus and his tales of Brae rabbits. Say the magic words with me. If it could be hoppy, make it a habit to give us music for old Brae rabbits. Uncle Remus says. Every now and then, Brae rabbit finds out that trouble is something that don't hide when you go looking for it. All the creatures in the community are very, very worried because a fierce burglar has been lurking in the community. Convict-wanted signs showing the burglar's pictures are plastered all over the country. Brae rabbit has been shopping in town at Brae Coon's store. Brae Coon looks at the fierce convict's picture and he says, hey, Brae rabbit, you better sneak home with these groceries. Oh, don't worry about me, Brae Coon. This year, extra sack will take care of Mr. Highwayman. Brae Coon, who is holding Brae rabbit's sack of groceries, says, you'd be safer by taking the briar patch roll. Brae rabbit starts putting stones into the extra sack. Any giggles? I is too supple in the head for him. A short time later, Brae rabbit, with one sack of groceries over one shoulder and one sack of rocks over the other shoulder, heads through the woods on his way home. And he's thinking of the scheme that he has to outwit any burglar. Any giggles? If you think the head, you always get sloppers. As he comes around the bend, last picture top row, suddenly, Brae rabbit sees the ugly burglar hiding behind a tree. Brae rabbit steps over beside a bush, saying to himself, first picture bottom row, what Mr. Highwayman don't know won't hurt him too soon. He drops one of the sacks into the bushes. And then, the burglar pops out from behind a tree, shoves the gun and Brae rabbit's face. And he growls, give me that sack, and stand still, and don't move till I'm out of sight. Brae rabbit stutters, I ain't even gonna move then. The burglar whirls around and disappears down the road. Brae rabbit giggles and reaches behind the bush and picks up the second sack that he has hidden. Well, well, well, I don't teach Mr. Highwayman a lesson what he has yet to learn. Brae rabbit laughs all the way home. He opens the door, goes to the kitchen table, and empties the sack on the kitchen table. But instead of groceries, he sees nothing but rocks. Oh, I don't give him the wrong sack. And Uncle Remus says, the best-laid plan can be mislaid. He was a little too sure of himself. I'm afraid so. He got all mixed up. He forgot our way. And she's quite right. And I'm sure that next time, Brae rabbit will take Brae Coon's advice and take the safe way home. Well, now I just know that you want to read Donald Duck. You always do after Uncle Remus. All right, then, turn over to the very last page of the first section. Last page of the first section. And here we go with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeeze, jump, squeeze, jump, squiddly, tick-a-tack. Let's have music to better. Quack, quack. It's a lovely spring day. The two reasons are it's spring and it's day. Donald is working at the office. He looks out the window, third-picture top row and exclaims, spring and me cooped up in the stuffy office. I can't stand it. He storms into the boss's office, stops before the boss's desk. I quit. I've got to have space to breathe. Fresh air. I quit. OK, Duck. OK. Outside, he dances down the street. Free, free, free in the great outdoors. First-picture bottom row, he waltzes into an employment office. No, to get a decent job. What kind of job do you wish, sir? Anything outdoors. I've got to have space and fresh air. OK, son. Report to this address. You'll get plenty of space and plenty of fresh air. Wow. And last picture, 20 stories above the ground. Donald is washing the window outside of his old boss's office, while the birds fly by giving Donald a laugh. And Donald's boss looks at him and gives him the bird. And so he ends up having to do hard work washing windows right outside the very same office he had been telling the boss off in a short while ago. Oh, he's not quite as cocky as he was when he quit that job. No, he has a clown. Well, now if you pick up the first page of the second section, I think we'll find another clown. Oh, Dagwood and Blondie. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwood and Blondie. Magic wits for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ram-a-foo, ram-a-fum, zim-zam-zombie, conjugal music for Dagwood and Blondie. Down at the office, Mr. Dither's hands Dagwood a sheet of figures, saying, Dagwood, here are the figures for the Frogley contract. Write up the contracts immediately. Yes, sir. And if you don't get this contract in the mail in two hours, you're fired. Yes, sir. Give us glares at Dagwood's last picture top row. Understand, in a mail in two hours, or you're fired. First picture, second row, Blondie enters. Dad, can you tell me if you like it? I can't, Blondie. I'll lose my job. You've always got some excuse when I ask you to look at a hat. I won't take no. Come along. And she grabs him by the arm. Dagwood yells emphatically, no! So he goes along. Last picture, second row, Blondie is at the hat store with Dagwood, trying on hat after hat. While Dagwood sits since shuddering fear, thinking what's going to happen to him when Dither sees he's gone. The hat again. I don't like it at all. Thank you very much, miss. Come along, Dagwood. And outside they go. Dagwood heads back for the office, but Blondie grabs him by the coat tail. First picture, third row. Come on, we'll look at hats in some of the other shops. Dagwood yells, no, no, no! So he goes along. An hour and a half later, they're in the sixth shop. Blondie is still trying on hats. She looks at Dagwood reading the paper. Dagwood, what are you doing? Tears pour out of his eyes as he sobs. I'm out of work. I'm looking up jobs. Blondie sees him crying in a shame. She takes him outside. Last picture, third row, she tells him. Oh, you're in no help. Go back to your office. And if I find another hat I like, I'll come over and get you. I have no job. I'm just going back to clean out my debt. First picture, next row. Tears streaming down his face. Dagwood is cleaning out his desk before leaving the office for good. Suddenly, Dithers gallops in. Dagwood! Did you mail that contract? Dagwood's knees pound in fear. I cannot tell a lie. No, sir. I didn't. Dithers drops to his knees. And he embraces Dagwood. Dagwood, you're wonderful. I gave you the wrong figures. I would have been ruined if you had mail that contract. I'm sorry. I would have been ruined if you had mail that contract. Just then, Blondie rushes in. And in no time at all, they're back at the very first hat shop. Blondie is put on the very first hat she tried on, and she says with a smile. I like the first one I picked out, the best after all. Dagwood's eyes spin around in his head. And he moans, Oh, I give up. Yes, I suppose you could say that. Of course you could. If he hadn't taken Dagwood out to buy those hats, he would have finished the figures and put them on. Yes. I guess this is one time that Blondie did Dagwood a favor. But it was a funny way. Well, that depends on the hat. And I like yours too. Now look underneath Dagwood and Blondie. Oh, and a man is waiting with the gun he can. I'm afraid something's going to happen to Roy. Let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Oh. Roy gallops around the bin. A man steps out from behind a boulder. Stick it up. What's the idea following me? Hey, it's Roy Rogers. Why, Chubby Walden, you near sighted old desert rat. Hey, what's wrong? Sure enough, it's Roy's old friend, Chubby Walden. We spent some time with a short while ago. Well, hey, I reckon I'm a bit spooky, Roy. Since I struck it rich, I got more enemies and my dogs got fleas. Gosh, I'm sure glad to see you. He mounts his horse, or they trot along. Hey, you must have found the mother load, Chubby, by the looks of that fancy saddle. Hey, these trappings is going, Roy, from a mine. That's why I'm skittish. Too many homies trying to find out where I get my money. Last picture, top row, they come up on a horse and a buck board standing strangely alone on the trail. As they ride up to it, Roy exclaims, hey, somebody's buck board through a wheel, Chubby. But where's the driver? First picture, bottom row that is mounted. He sees the horse's thirsty. He pours some water from his canteen into his hat and gives it to the horse to drink. Chubby, meanwhile, looking around exclaims, hey, there's footprints, Roy. You suppose the driver is struck out across the desert on foot? Well, if he did, Chubby, he's a tenderfoot. Hey, this horse is thirsty, but he has a few miles left if a traveler knew how to unhitch and ride him. Well, Roy, there's a waterhole over yonder behind them rocks. But he's been dry for months. Hmm, poor pilgrim. Look, that's exactly where his tracks lead. They mount and ride along to the waterhole to see if they can find anyone there. At the waterhole, a lovely girl hears them coming. Currently, she takes out a mirror, powders her face, then arranges herself on the ground as though she had fallen into a beautiful faint. Last picture, they spot her. Hey, suffering catch, Roy, it's a girl. Roy quickly dismounts it. If that's me or your canteen, Chubby, she's still alive. Well, you're a girl. I should think you should be able to answer that. I don't think I can because I wouldn't do a thing like that. Not much you wouldn't. They all do at your age. Oh, that's not nice. I'm only teasing you. Next week, we'll find out more about what this girl's game is. Now I know that you'd like to read Dick's Adventures, so let's go over to the very last page, the very last page, and here we are. And last week, Dick woke up from his dream. I'm sure you'll have another one today. Very well, let's read and see. Here we go with Dick's Adventures in Dreamland. The magic words with me. Rickety-Pack is acting. Let's send music for adventurous Dick. Dick is out floating with his cousin Dan in the bay. They're talking about sailing. Dan is saying, hey, why, even a handling a little rig like this can be trouble, Dick. Why, just figure what it must have been like working a big fighter like the Constitution. Hey, it had the whole British Navy jumping back in 1812. Boy, there was a ship. There was a ship. And suddenly Dick finds himself thinking back to the old days of the great ship Constitution. Back, back, back, he goes in his thoughts. Until he sees himself in his cousin Dan in clothes of early America. They're standing on the dock looking at the ship Constitution. And Dan is saying, well, well, well, what do you think now? Isn't she something? And in a few minutes more, Dick and a group of other enlisted sailors are climbing up the rigging. And first picture bottom row, the ship is on its way. They keep a sharp look on. But the mission is to harry British traders flying between the Indies and Canada or anywhere else. But for five days, they sight nothing but the endless sweep of sea and sky. Last picture, Dick says, hey, no luck yet, Dan. Hey, whose pants are you sewn? Oh, it's a man named Captain Isaac Hall, Dick, skipper of the Constitution. And you want to meet him? You take these pants to his cabin and tell him I caught all the seams that were split with good old double duty threat. One of the most famous ships that America ever had. And now he's going to meet the captain of Dan's scene. Yes, and you'll meet him next week too. Oh, I love captain's. Well, that's fine, and you'll be happy. Now look underneath Dick's adventures, Rusty Riley. Oh, and this is getting closer and closer to the moment I've been waiting for because last week, Rusty and Pete escaped from that cave where the crooks had locked them up. Yes, you bet they did, and they were making their way to a farm when a car came down the road. And there was that he was going to rust the boys. You think he will? Well, let's read right now and find out. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for us, horse and Rusty. In spite of what the boys say, the deputy sheriff arrests and takes them to town. Brings them into the sheriff's office second picture top row. They face a big, chubby fellow sitting behind the desk. Hey, here's them two kids from Milestone Farm Chief. I picked them up out near the gorge. They tried to give me the slip by saying ahead of telephone, but I've brung them right in here. Rusty pleads. Please, please, Mr. Sheriff, won't you let me call Mr. Miles? It's most terribly important. Huh, Mr. Miles, huh? After breaking into his safe and stealing those gold cups, you want to call them up? What for? To apologize? Oh, golly, golly, no, Mr. Sheriff. We didn't steal those trophies. We were trying to catch the men who did. Please let me call them. You can listen, please. Sheriff picks up the phone. Well, okay, sonny. Only I'll get Mr. Miles. Just so I'll know you're talking to him. Oh, gee, thanks. At Milestone Farm, Mr. Miles picks up the phone. Hello? Yes? What? Oh, Sheriff Thurlow. And he says he's there with you? Yes, yes, put him on, put him on. A moment later, Mr. Miles comes down the path to the barn. He takes text, great news. Rusty and young Peters have been found. Get out of the car while I phone the inspector. We've got to act fast. And in the old abandoned house, Snobbs and Sir Percival, the two crooks who stole the trophies from Mr. Miles' farm have been unable to find them where they buried them, because Rusty and Pete have dropped them in the secret well. Finally, Knobbs says... Ah, it's only one explanation, purse. We know them kids didn't take the trophies, so somebody else has been here. Sir Percival shakes his head. No, no, no, no. Not likely, not at all likely, Knobbs. Personally, I think the boys found him and put him in a new hiding place. Come on, start looking. At this moment, last picture, the sheriff has finished his conversation with Mr. Miles. He puts down the phone. Well, you're true. Looks like maybe you're telling the truth. That was a call from the police. We're all gonna take a ride. Rusty and Pete are going to have a chance to go home, and Mr. Miles and Tex won't let them go to jail because they know Rusty wouldn't do anything wrong. Yes, I'm sure they think that too. I hope they get to the abandoned house soon, though, because Sir Percival thinks that the trophies are hidden somewhere else. And if they look hard enough, maybe they'll find them and they get away. Yes, and after all, Rusty and Pete are the only ones who know where the abandoned house is. Oh, I hope they'll get there in time. We'll find out more about this next week. Now, that's all the time I have, but before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, honey. Okay, that's a date, and a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the bunnies to you, happy boys and honey. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.