 I just can't help but notice how smart this team looks. I look around at this squad and I see a bunch of high IQ football knowledge guys. Every single NFL team could use a great locker room presence like one of these fine gentlemen. Scrappy, sneaky athletic. Now taking one good look at him he might not blow you away with explosiveness, athleticism even swagger. But one thing I can promise is the gentleman that I put on this team will be the first ones in the door, the last ones out. They're a lunch pale guy and this is the exact kind of guy I could picture dating my daughter. I built an entire team full of sneaky athletic NFL players. Let's talk about this squad. On the offensive line we have Garrett Bowles, Joe Tooney, Jason Kelsey, Brandon Scherf and Luke Godic. I chose these five guys because every single one of them, it just felt like they had grit. That's what we're looking for on this team. Tight ends were easy. There were a ton of tight ends that I found that had this sneaky athletic profile, but I decided to go with Sam Laporta and George Kittle. I'm not gonna lie, wide receivers were more difficult. As I looked around the entire NFL, I looked at a lot of these guys and I said, yeah, that guy's pretty athletic. He's got a lot of swagger. But is he scrappy? Is he a role model in the locker room? I don't know. I did find some excellent options. Cooper Cup, Alec Pierce and Braxton Berrios. Frankly, I just want Braxton Berrios' wife around. The quarterback position was filled with high IQ guys. I decided to go with Eli Manning. He had 71 speed. To me, that just screams, hi, motor. He just plays the game the right way. That's probably the better way I could describe it. At running back, we have Chris Zinn McCaffrey. He throws in an upper and a lower decker every single game. And at fullback, we have Mike Allstock. Now I know what you're thinking. I'm about to show you the defense and you're thinking of one position as you look around the NFL that just has no grit. That a single guy in the NFL at corner is sneaky athletic. They're all just athletic. So you're wondering what I did for the corner position. Yeah. OK, guys, no, I couldn't come up with anything. There are literally none. Although I did come up with a fun background story for each of our gentlemen. This is Sauce Gardner. He grew up in the suburbs of Ohio. He likes to tell everyone that he's from Chicago, but he's not from Chicago. He lives like 45 minutes outside of Chicago. His parents are Jewish. And he attended a private high school that cost $45,000 a year. This is Patrick Sertan II. He grew up in a farm town just 30 minutes outside of Norman, Oklahoma. He really only knows how to do three things. Hunting, fishing, and locking up your favorite wide receiver. And this is Charles Woodson. In college, he joined Fraternity, quickly developed severe alcoholism. He drinks four beers pre-game and two at halftime. Linebackers wasn't too tough. We were able to get Clay Matthews, Luke Keekley, the Pat McAfee Middle Linebacker was perfect for this team. And Ted Hendricks. Ted Hendricks is going to be the best player on this team, I think. Six foot seven linebacker with 97 speed and 99 acceleration and lurk artist. That's going to be a lot of fun. We got Taylor Rapp at Strong Safety. I literally could not find Harrison Smith on the auction house. So just use your imagination. I went Nick Bosa, Kyle Williams, Adam Gottsis, and Max Crosby on our defensive line, although there were a ton of options. Believe it or not, kicker was actually really easy to find a sneaky athletic guy. We're obviously going to go get a game with this squad. Here's our top five, Hendricks, Eli Mann, and Cooper Cupp, Luke Keekley, and Braxton Berrios. What I hope is that whoever I play here, I hope they pick up on it. I hope they understand what I did. 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The best way I can describe the Upside app is it's a powerful tool that will empower you to spend smarter, especially because it's on things that we already buy. So click that link in the top of the description, use that promo code MatthewM, and enjoy the rest of the video. Ted Hendricks, Eli Mann, and Cooper Cup. That's just got to set off red flags. Anybody who sees that top there, they gotta know. Mahomes, Carmichael, Puka Nakua. Now Puka Nakua is a good example. I was thinking about putting Puka Nakua on the squad, but I think he's technically Samoan, you know, Polynesian, something like that. We can't claim that as white. Or sorry, not white, sneaky athletic. We can't claim that as high motor gritty. Patrick Mahomes, ooh, what is this? He's gonna hand this puppy off to Emma Smith. I haven't seen this offense in so long. What is he running? Adam Gotzis, gotta sack early. Got Luke Keekley on the user here. Hendricks on the right side, it's gotta be a pass. He doesn't have anything. He doesn't have anything. Taylor Rapp, oh, good defense. Taylor Rapp hoping for interception there, but good defense. We can open up this game with a stop right now. I gotta hop on Hendricks. I gotta cover a lot of space. Oh, that's a great ball. I'm not stopping Carmichael either. Ooh, Taylor Rapp, okay. Fun fact in my research for this video, Taylor Rapp is half Chinese. I actually, you know, the fact that he's half Chinese, I think that makes him even more sneaky athletic. I think that works in his favor to fucking Hendricks. This Ted Hendricks is disgustingly good. No, you don't house this. It's cold, baby. Dude, do you think you'd notice if you played somebody who intentionally only put white players out there, do you think you would notice? Knowing what I know, it seems so obvious, but I don't know if I'd be able to tell. All right, first and 10, we're going Christian McCaffrey on the edge. Big Juke, big stiff arm. That's how a white man runs the football. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Second and two. I'm about to just keep running the ball until they force my hand. Ooh, McCaffrey, you dirty dog. That's my offensive player of the year. Well, he actually, okay, that doesn't make sense. He actually was offensive player of the year. You better find a way to stop the run, buddy. Oh my God, he actually got the block shed and he still didn't stop it. All right, so Eli Manning. I've got some nice abilities on him. Hot route master, gunslinger, set feet lead, and then blitz radar. He does have Hendricks in the middle too, though. La Porta, La Porta, La Porta, La Porta, whoa! I love Sam La Porta, baby. Fake PAT kicker flip pass against the Tampa 2 defense. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Stop me then. Stop me. Okay, they stopped me. We got Pat McAfee as our kicker. Might as well throw a dribbler in here. Why not, right? Oh my goodness, Chuck Howley. Okay, now that's a guy right there. That's a guy who plays the game the right way. You take one look at Chuck Howley. You don't think he's anything special, but then you go out there, you see him play hard nose, gritty football. Nothing but respect for a guy like that. It goes out there and plays the game the right way. You're clamped. You're clamped. You're clamped. You're clamped. You're clamped! No, Ronnie Lott, no! Stop it! You're not the, no! You have no athleticism! Yes! Taylor Rapp! This is the guy I want with the football! Yeah, Taylor Rapp! That was for China. Konichiwa. He can't keep getting away! Let's ride. Great ball into Cooper Cup, the quintessential guy. Oh, you want to press cover Braxton Berrios? You know, Braxton Berrios is not the fastest guy out there, but I tell you what, he gets his reps in. Shit, I'm not gonna lie. Braxton Berrios got bodied over there. Braxton Berrios, please give me 30 seconds with your wife, bro. I don't even need 30, 15 seconds with your wife. Gotta throw a hot one. Oh, that's too hot. No, it's not. He overplayed it. That was right at Teddy Boy. Ooh, but I like this. Chris Zinn McCaffrey with the joke outside. Throw him a little decoy route so we can hit the underneath. Beautiful. And see how he hangs onto the football. It wasn't the most explosive route in the world, but he hangs onto it. It's the fundamentals. That's what matters. Let's throw a weird ass play. Let's throw something stupid as shit. Play action wide receiver screen. That's what I'm talking about. I want the dumbest play you've ever seen. Play action, hit X. Oh my God, look at the entourage. Joke! Braxton Berrios, you have a hot one for nothing, bro. All right, you wanna see the grittiest route you've ever seen? We're giving Cooper Cup a corner route and it's gonna be so crispy that you're gonna question your sanity. Hard cut, Cooper. Oh my God, Cooper, I love you. Oh, DPI. Throw the flag, yeah. That's another good part of having the all sneaky athletic squad. The refs are favorable. Kind of like police officer. Holy shit. Matthew, stop it. Let's just throw the double team on him and do the exact same thing. Okay, I just double teamed him. How is he doing that against a double team? Third and goal, jeez. If we can't score from here, you don't deserve to score. Bro. What are you doing, McCaffrey? McCaffrey just ran into me. Okay, fourth and goal. I'm coming out in the same formation and I'm running hat-back stretch. Oh my God. You see the patience? That was a high IQ football play. Not sure Cooper Cup's a goal line fade guy. I guess he kind of is. I saw the Super Bowl. Oh my God, Eli. That's disgusting. No, this is a legacy game. All right, gentlemen, let's run it back. Read option Eli Manning. They don't teach you about that in high school. Oh my God, did he just do that to Vita Vaya? Oh, we got a heater coming. Sammy boy, Sammy boy. I tried to tell him, whoa, whoa. What was that angle he took? What was that? Oh, did I have a tutty? I got Eli Manning. Who doesn't fumble that? The real crime is not fumbling that. Let's go Alec Pierce. Oh my God, it's a fucking tutty. What is going on? Why is this team playing so well? They had a little play action on the goal line. It got the user, Sammy. Dude, La Porta is so good. I'm allowed by defense play. It don't matter. It does matter. It matters so much. Holy shit, what the fuck am I doing? Don't showbo. You're gonna get cooked. See, that's not how you play the game. That guy's got a lot of swagger. He's a real athletic explosive, but that is not the right way to play the game. And he's gonna learn the hard way. He's gonna really learn the hard way when he doesn't get this two-point conversion and then he's just stuck in like two-point conversion hells. Thank you. Ted Hendricks had my children. He's so good. That's a dot. That's a dot. It's Braxton Berrios. It's Braxton Berrios block. Cooper. Cooper Cup. A staple of being a white white receiver is downfield blocking. What are you doing? I think we just go inside zone again, honestly. It's there. Oh, excellent angle. Great blocks. That's what we needed. Gonna regress showboating, buddy. I can take the PAT and take a nine-point lead, but I'm gonna add insult to injury and I'm gonna make this even worse for him. There is, oh my God, that was so beautiful. 16 to six. Don't ever showboat, ever. I'm gonna assert my dominance by using 91 Pat McAfee punter to onside kick straight in his face. And I don't know why I emphasize punter there. McAfee had some nasty onside kicks. He's looking at, that is just such a questionable ball. You're lucky that white Iowa corner isn't in the league yet because he would have picked that off. Throw another one. Throw another one. Taylor Raps down there. Uh-uh, welcome to Shanghai. Fourth and 10. The buck stops here. He doesn't, he wants that check down, but it's not gonna work. Oh my goodness. Box like a fish. That was a four and out. He did not get a positive yard on that drive. PA Crossers is putting this man in the blender right now, Braxton. Okay, that is Harold Carmichael. Six foot eight guarding Braxton Berrios, who I think is 5'11", 5'10". All right, second and 10. We're gonna put a little hot rod on La Porta so that he gets a nice route. Dude, that has been open all game. Big Juke, another one. Now we put La Porta on the corner out and I'll put Berrios on a corner out too. I don't know about Berrios, but I kinda wanna try it. Oh no, La Porta's got his man. If it ain't broke, don't break it. Oh, oh, shit, thick balls. He didn't have them at all. Eli, 71 speed, Eli. I need you so bad right now, Eli. Oh, McAfee. Thank you. That was gonna be really bad. He's gonna heave one up. No, Ronnie lot. No, nobody saw that. Ronnie lot, you're so white. Dude, don't yell at me. EA did Harrison Smith so dirty. He has nothing usable in this game. You know, if he wants to keep giving me this absolute beamer to Sammy. Okay, he got, no, actually, he switches to Cooper Cup and I got it anyway. Oh, let's get weird. Okay, let's do this. La Porta, that has been open all day. I love you, Sam. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. His team is going off right now. Yeah, we definitely dance like we're white. One thing that's certain is he never should have show boated. 24 to six, three for three on our two point conversions. That was every very second completed pass. Hendrix, Hendrix, Hendrix throw it. Throw this out round. I'd be absolutely dare you. This guy just wants to go yard. We're gonna Blitzwoodson. Oh, shit, I made a mistake. I made a mistake. He didn't give me any time. I was trying to Blitzwoodson then made him up with a rat. You will not catch my team doing that. Oh, that was the last play of the first quarter. He's gonna fail this. He's gonna fail the two point. I tried to tell him. Eyes in the back of his head. Hand steam's got Christian McCaffrey, Braxton Berryhose, and Alec Beers, just all the wide receivers. I'm gonna bring Keekley over just in case this gets a little haywire. Oh, I don't like that. I do like that, because I was so blatantly a flag. Okay, okay. I see my boy. I see my boy Braxton. He's gonna go with the fake Blitzwood of Peterson. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. He's a free inside zone, too. Oh, okay, free wasn't the right word, but I'm still. I'm four for four on these two points. These juicy little two points. Taylor Rapp, it's all you, buddy. He's gonna heave one up. Puts it, oh, everybody's favorite Jewish NFL player, sauce gardener. This guy only has one playing his arsenal and it's fucking Hail Mary. Thank you. No, Ronnie, stop it. Yes, yes, Pat McAfee. Oh my God, Pat McAfee. Let's go. All right, dude, honestly, this is so, what am I gonna run up 200 points here? I'm gonna go McAfee up the middle. Eee, got me. Damn it, that one went in the 40 bomb right there. This guy's got like a kink or something. I think he likes going online and just getting his ass whooped. Cause how are you still in this game? You gotta know when to hold them and you gotta know when to fold them and you also gotta know when to quit gambling. And this guy needs to quit gambling. I think he's rank commit middle. Holy shit. This is racist. This is actually racist as fuck. How am I, this is the best I've ever played in my whole life. I've never put up points like this before. It's like a war of attrition. I think he knows that like, I don't wanna be here anymore. All right, he's officially gotten to the griefing stage. So let's take a look at our player stats. Just in case he's gonna quit. I wanna see these. Eli Manning is nine for 13 with 308 yards. Christian McCaffrey, five for 61, 12.2 yards per carry and two touchdowns, two broken tackles. Obviously that huge run right there. Cup's got 70, Laporta's got 109, Bear's got 101, got 28 out of Alex Pearson, a touchdown. Dude, it's the opposite, bro. In wheel of mud, I'll put up seven points. Someone will quit. But with she sonny D against the all white squad, this man has 46 hung on his head with three minutes left in the second and he is, now actually know what? He left his Xbox, he did. He went into the kitchen to do the dishes. His mom's been bitching about it. He said, one more game of Madden and unfortunately this is, it's the game he got in. And your peer has been kicked for excessive grouping. I hope we all learned a valuable lesson today, gentlemen. You know what you're born with. It's not about your athleticism. It's not about any of that. Okay, but if you're the first guy in, the last guy out, you can have that same result. Motivational speech. All right, gentlemen, hey. I love you guys. I hope you enjoyed the video. I'll see you in the next one. Peace.