 All right, hello everybody, I hope everyone is doing well. Let's see who joins us this afternoon. Well, for some of y'all, I guess you could say it's afternoon, but for some of us, it's still early. I'm still, you know, I got a workout in, I've taken a shower and now I'm having some coffee and I'll tell you what, you know, like anybody, every morning is the same thing. I wake up, I'm like, ugh, you gotta shake that off. And I know, all right, Samit is here. How you doing, buddy? Thank you for tuning in. So for you guys who are just joining and thank you for the thumbs up. And if you are watching us, give me a thumbs up, that helps. Other people know that we go live and I've had some technical difficulties in the last couple of weeks trying to go live on Tuesdays. But thank you guys for coming in. Hit that like button. That shares it a little bit more. It helps the algorithm pick it up. And we all know how our lives are controlled by algorithms in today's world, guys. And I'll tell you this much. Somebody brought up the point of that, the point where robots and algorithms and AI take over, they take over our reality. Don't you think we're already living in a world that has a reality that is somewhat controlled by algorithms? I mean, when you leave reality and you go online, you are in a reality online that is created by algorithms. And it's also created by your history. And so together combined, you are entering a reality that is auto-controlled by AI. And I will also make the argument that when you leave this reality and then you venture into IRL in real life, that depending on how you view the world, you could still be enrolled in the AI reality, meaning that you accept the terms of what the AI reality is. And you transition those terms to real life. There's two different realities. Twitter is a real life, and I'm sure all of you guys know that. But if you accepted certain terms of reality that is online, that is algorithmic, that is controlled by AI, you can just transition that reality to real life. You can just transition that reality in real life. There's an interface in which you are dealing with reality and it is controlled by an AI that you were using online. You do realize that, right? We have an interface that we use. We have what is called a world view. You build that world view. Some of you guys have a world view that is partly your education, partly your parents, partly your peer group, that you've mishmashed together in which you deal with the world. You know, the world view that I had grown up with, that I had chosen for myself that was partly my peer group and my lived experiences. In my early 20s, made me a very angry young man. I had to build a better world view and a better way to deal with the world through self-development, through psychology, through philosophy that gives me a better outlook in how I deal with the world. And when I wake up in the morning, it allows me to be excited. Think about that as well. So let's see what we got here. First time for you in California? Bambi Lopez, I hear you, I'm in Vegas. So sorry guys, I don't have my glasses on me. I'm trying to read the comments. To me, yes, I remember you, buddy. How are you? So guys hit the like button, that'll help. And as I was mentioning, so I had a few technical difficulties the last couple of weeks. I couldn't get on line. I couldn't get the stuff working. But we are here today. I want to thank you guys. Couple of things I want to discuss. You know what, since we've already opened up the topic of AI and interfaces in which you deal with reality, perhaps, let's continue that conversation a little bit more as well. But before I get into that, I want to start with two things. Number one, I dropped a video yesterday on a bar room technique that I had learned as a bartender and bar manager in my 20s to instantly connect with the patrons of that bar that would instantly increase my tips because people felt that much more comfortable with me, that much better about who I was as a person. And they showed that in their gratitude when they came time to pay their bill. And I put that video is the one that I dropped yesterday. It is called How to Connect Instantly with Anyone. The technique that I discuss in that video is about using appreciated statements and trade compliments as a transition going into rapport to open people up and allow them to feel more comfortable about being vulnerable. People are not going to be vulnerable around people they're not comfortable with. And in order for you to make them comfortable, number one, you have to make them feel good and inclined to be comfortable because of how you allowed them to feel. When you use a reward system for behaviors that you wanna see more of then you are leading people in a behavioral manner down a certain road. And the technique that I lay out in that video which I'm gonna be doing micro lessons that drop every Monday. So check out the micro lessons. There's a playlist called Micro Lessons. And I've been, I've just since the new year I've done three, I'm trying to drop them every week. So check that out. All right, so let's see here. Submit the matrix, absolutely the matrix. The matrix when you see the matrix is understanding that there is several different realities that you can participate in. The realities are made up with the interface that you use that interprets your reality to you so that you can maneuver through it. If you have a worldview or interface that is built on positivity, a good philosophy and understanding how the human brain works with blind spots and cognitive distortions then you can create a reality that is quite fun. It's not going to be without its challenges. All realities have their challenges. Even the reality that is created for you online has its challenges. But as I mentioned, the worldview that you adopt allows you different accesses to those realities. Yeah, and now we're trying to beat these algorithms. We're never, we're never going to beat them. We can only work with them much like how your brain works. So Stephen Hayes, Dr. Stephen Hayes, we've did many interviews with him. You can find those interviews on our YouTube channel. He is the originator and generator of a psychological discipline called ACT, acceptance and commitment therapy. Acceptance, commitment, therapy is an offshoot. Well, at least I see it as an offshoot of cognitive behavioral therapy. And some of the components are similar but it also has differences as well as how you view, how you use it to view the world. What I like about ACT is Stephen Hayes says, the brain works like a calculator that doesn't have subtract or delete. Neither does your, well, so if a calculator doesn't have a subtract or delete, then you have to accept the data that has been entered in and work around it. You have to work with that data. So how does that work with human behavior? Well, you're gonna take on fear, loss and trauma in your life that you're never going to be able to delete, you're never gonna be able to forget it. It may be out of your conscious mind but it's still gonna be stored in your subconscious and it will still play a role in how you view the world. So because of that information, because of that data, those experiences, you have to work with that. You have to work with that information being logged in much like a calculator without no subtract or no delete. Yes, absolutely, Simeon, you do have to work with that information. And once you accept that rule, once you accept that idea, you're now looking at your subconscious and your lived experiences and your worldview, not as something that you have to fix but something that you have to take into account. And when you take those lived experiences and the loss and trauma into account, well then you can work with them rather than trying to push them aside or trying to delete them from your memory or trying to fix how you go into the world knowing that you've taken on that loss or trauma, which is a futile way of going about it. Can you get better? Can you heal yourself from this trauma and loss? Yes, there's work to do with it but you're never going to delete it. You're never going to get over it. It is just something that is going to be there. Over time, how it affects you diminishes but you still have to take it into account. So if you're watching, say hello, write me a little thing in the comments. Let me know if you can hear this. I thank you for writing in. Hit the thumbs up, hit that thumbs up, hit that subscribe. All right, so, but that's what I want to say about dealing with AI generated realities from whether you're dealing with them online or you're carrying over those rules and those realities offline and into your everyday life. Here's a question for you. You don't think that after staring into a computer and surfing the net and being on Twitter and being on Instagram and being on whatever social media for let's say five, six hours that you don't carry on that same reality into real life. If you think you leave it in your computer, man, I got news for you. You're sorely wrong and you're going to find yourself in a certain amount of trouble and just look at what your screen saver says on your phone the next time. I know that how much time that I spend online is to my conscious brain actually quite embarrassing. I don't want to be online that long. However, we're in a pandemic. All of my work has transitioned from live events and programs to being online. So yes, I am spending more time in AI generated realities more so than I'd like to. And the same goes to you. So it is something to take into account because it has a profound effect on your life and who you are as a person and understand that there is a separation that needs to happen. Sameed asks, he wants to ask a question on a different topic. Well, you can write it there my friend and I'll try to find a moment to slide in an answer. How about that? I appreciate it. Thumbs up, hit the subscribe. So also check out the mini lesson. I dropped it yesterday. How to connect instantly with anyone. It is an old bartending trick that I had picked up in my 20s. I drop micro lessons every week. They're super fun. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it. You can leave comments, of course and try it out for yourself. You'll be quite surprised. Not only how easy the technique is but it's effect, it's result. And I'll leave it at that. I'll let you guys check it out. And then if you have any questions about it I'll even guide you further in that lesson if you ask because it is something that I had been doing for years. I still do it today. All right. So number two, what I wanted to discuss today was the Mira Kershenbaum episode that we dropped this week. It will drop on YouTube on Thursday. It has already dropped in iTunes as of Monday. And Mira wrote a wonderful book on relationships and we had her on the show. And it was interesting. She mentions that most problems arise in relationships due to power struggles. Now, when I was reading the book I was confused to what she meant by power struggles because we're now living in a new consciousness, I would say culturally in the world where everyone is vying for power. We have all these different agendas and interests and we see a lot of power struggles in everyday modern politics. That I can discuss. And it's nothing that none of us see. We see it every day. In fact, it manifests itself in the one platform that is meant for ideas, attention for their ideas. You have to also understand that ideas like pathogens get spread and the more these ideas are spread and they're accepted, they change public consciousness. So there is a lot of power in anyone who is able to be incredibly persuasive with their ideas. So that point comes back to the fact that Mira mentions in the podcast or in her book that most relationships issues stem from a power struggle. And I was sort of confused as to what sort of power struggles are. And I had the interview with her. It came out really nice. She's an older woman and she was so sweet. And I found her book a bit. You know, I just, I wasn't clear what she meant by that but when I heard her reading passages from her own book I realized in that moment, how much she cared about love and relationships and being in healthy relationships that allow love to grow. And you have to be confident and comfortable and trusting in a relationship in order for love to grow. And I found that message incredibly beautiful. And I also think that in today's world and I can even speak from my own experiences that being in a relationship that is trusting enough where you can plant seeds of vulnerability to allow that vulnerability to help with growing and boosting the idea of a love for one another incredibly intoxicating. I thought it was a beautiful idea. And I certainly don't have much of it in my relationships. You know, as somebody who works and has studied interpersonal relationships and the components of those relationships for close to 20 years, I still talk about having to deal with past loss and trauma and lived experiences. I grew up in a home that in my teenage years my parents got divorced and I also watched them balance out of many relationships and which had an effect on me as a teenager that I wouldn't say isn't very trusting. I just, I don't like losing myself to the other person in relationships. And I find myself bogging relationships down because of that. Probably why I'm single at 47 and quite fine about it. I never really pined for the idea of being in a romantic relationship. And certainly I've had many relationships over the years. I'm in a relationship now, but I keep my, there's a guard and a distance that stays up that protects myself and the other person. Probably too much so at the detriment of a relationship. But anyway, listening to Mira speak and reading her book and about what needs to be in that relationship in order for that love to grow was quite beautiful. And it gave me a new perspective to think about and you don't hear that sort of perspective about relationships in the modern world. We're too busy with swipe life and the chasing of limerence the idea of falling in love and chasing falling in love. And when those feelings wear off ending the relationship and chasing the next love. I've grown up living in mass cities. I lived in Los Angeles for 10 years. I lived in New York for two years now I'm in Vegas. These are very transient places. The idea of building a relationship with the expectations of allowing that love to grow in those relationships is not a, that is not something that somebody looks at who lives in a very transient large city. I think that is a mentality more so of people in a smaller town can certainly understand that. But it's an, I would say it's an older generational idea that we need to find our way back to. And there's many people on Twitter that certainly I know who expels those messages who get those messages out there and get those ideas out there that we need to get back to. And I think it's difficult. Especially here's another idea with social media another reality of it. The most attractive beautiful people get promoted in these algorithms, which is going to be young people. So they have a very fast paced lifestyle and ideas that tend to get more propagated than certainly slow growing patient ideas such as allowing love to grow. All right. Let's see what we got here. Simit says, sometimes I wonder am I missing out? I'm not, not dating. I'm 23 right now. Your thoughts? Simit, you're only 23. Well, you should have a, well, I would suggest that you, well, you should be dating but are you referring to not dating because of the pandemic? Is that what's holding you back? I think dating is, is quite fun. But it should also be taking seriously and held and should be done responsibly because that is going to give you life experience. It's going to give you the opportunity to learn about other people. But most importantly, Simit, most importantly, it's going to give you an opportunity to learn about yourself. And I, there's many ways of learning about yourself but that is certainly one of them. And that is certainly one of the ways that you're gonna get the most about yourself because your fears will be tested. Your insecurities will be tested. Your, your patience will be tested. That's the parts about relationships, especially romantic ones where you learn the most about yourself because your emotions are in full swing in relationships. You know, you, in order to feel comfortable and confident about yourself in a relationship and the relationship in general, you have to trust the other person. I mean, that's, those are incredibly difficult things but I, I don't admire you for being a young man having to deal with COVID taking a, you know, taking a year out of your life keeping you at home in quarantine, I would, I would imagine having, I'm 47, if I was 23 years old, I'd be mad as hell. This is why I don't fault young people for throwing house parties or throwing illegal warehouse parties because I remember when I was 23 and nothing was going to stop me from, from partying and meeting girls. I mean, your reproductive system at 23 is the one biological system that has the most control over, over who you are and what you do and what motivates you. And that's for all people who are 23. What do you, Chandler wants to know what do you think about dating multiple women at one time? Well, number one, you know, listen as long as all parties consent and are open and understand and it's, you're not being trying to slide it under the radar you're being honest about it. Well, then that should be first and foremost and as long as everyone is totally cool I don't see any issues with that. I will say it's never as easy as you would like it to be. And it's always going to be a mess. I don't care who you are and how, what a handle you think you have on the situation. When you're dating multiple people your emotions are flying through the roof. And I get asked this question a lot, Chandler and I will tell you, I used to do it and it's just to me it wasn't worth the headaches. You're dealing with multiple people's feelings including your own having to manage those expectations is ridiculous work. Now, if you're a young man and you have that energy and you're honest about it, have at it go gain it, go gain that experience. But when it becomes not, when it loses its luster and it's not fun anymore and you're driving yourself crazy then you can think about calming down a bit. But I thank you for the question. You know, it's funny, I can't, I'm certainly no, I would never tell anyone how they should be living their life. I'm only gonna give advice about what I think you should be doing and then speak from my own experiences and then present some science about it, that's about all I could do. You know, the other thing is I know young people have to learn from their own experiences and they will only take so much information from other people. I have been told things my whole entire life of what not to do, only finding myself doing those things because I wanted to do it anyway and I said to myself, I'll learn it the hard way if that lesson is there. So, you know, you can't expect young people to heed your warning. Your head is not clear, there's too many emotions going on. Sameed says, now I've hardly dated to be honest. I did have a girlfriend three years back, distance and after the breakup didn't feel like investing in someone. I now height myself for someone. What does that last sentence mean to me? I now hate, oh, I now hate losing myself for someone. Yeah, sorry, I don't have my glasses on so I'm squinting there guys, my apologies. I completely understand. However, you gotta dust yourself back off to me and get back out there and start dating again. It's important to your own self-confidence and self-esteem but if you need help with that, certainly write us, you know? I don't know where you live, Sameed. You did say you were in, so I don't know what your reality is, what your town is like, what your options are like but picking yourself back up, getting back on the horse will be good for you, it'll build character. Resilience is one of the traits that all young people need to learn at an early age so that when you are older, when you're like my age, when those, the hits, the damage that you sustain lingers a little bit longer. So it's what you do and what you learn when you're younger that is going to help you when you're my age to pick yourself back up when the damage lingers a little bit longer and I will say this, Sameed, and this goes to Chandler as well. Here you go guys, this is it. Keep this in mind for you young guys. You don't get old and wise without being young and crazy. So anytime that you're young and you're debating on whether or not to do something that you might feel is a bit nutty, do it for the experience of it because it will pay dividends in your life experience later. And it'll also, the more mistakes you make when you are younger, the less you'll make when you're older and that's incredibly important. As you get older, you get more oriented with what makes you tick, how you motivate yourself, how you, what you need to be the most productive in your life. And so you build habits and routines around those needs. And that's why it's much more difficult to make mistakes when you're older than when you're younger. So it is those mistakes that you will make being younger will help define what those habits and routines are that you build around allowing yourself to be the most productive, healthy, build your self-esteem, build your confidence on a daily level so that when you're in your 40s, you're cruising. You are making gains, you're productive, you're living a life with a, I would say a quantification of happiness from one to 10 in the higher range of that. You're on a seven and eight most days. I wish there was a way to maintain that 10, but that's just not reality. Okay guys, I have a million things to do today, but thank you for popping on. I will be back next Tuesday, 8.30 a.m. PST. If you wanna check out the micro lessons, they're in the playlist, micro lessons. Yes, yesterday's that I dropped was a bartending trick to help you connect with anyone. It is a technique that I have been using since my 20s. And if you're in the service industry, use that technique, it'll up your tips and it'll just make you that much more charismatic of a person. Oh, well, thank you so much. Thank you guys for joining in. And I will see you guys. Well, I'll see you guys next week, but I'll be dropping stuff the rest of the week, but we'll see that. All right, thanks guys. Cheers.