 Well, hello, Midlife Love Mastery members. I'm your host Jonathan Asain. I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. It's a morning cup of Jonathan. Today we have our Do All Things With Love mug and no t-shirt because it's a sweatshirt. And I look totally disheveled. I think this is what it feels like to not shower for the last five days. Just kidding. I did shower yesterday. Anyway, our topic, Dating Advice I Wish Men Knew. You know, what's fascinating to me is I've come to recognize that both men and women have very poor, what I call, relationship IQ. Relationship IQ. And what I mean to say is a relative sense of what it takes to actually create a healthy, happy relationship. And so it goes beyond the early stages when people are in their 20s and 30s because it's mostly the dating process is mostly about vetting for a spouse. In other words, are you going to get married, start a family, merge assets, build a life together? That's certainly what's on the forefront of most people's mind in their 20s and 30s. But as we get into midlife, it's a whole different ballgame because we come to the table with a lot of luggage. Sometimes we call it baggage. Sometimes we call it issues. And because of this luggage, baggage issues, many men as well as women have very little sense of what a relationship looks like from a fundamental perspective. In other words, the fundamentals of, in fact, let's even take it a step further. What's the purpose of dating? Is the purpose of dating just to feel connection with another human being or is the purpose for dating to choose a partner? And the dating advice I wished men had, I wished I could really empower men, is start approaching the process from a perspective of are you looking at this person from the perspective of choosing a partner and then ask yourself, what does a partner look like for you and what does partnership look like for you? What does a partner look like for you and what does partnership look like for you? When I say the word look, I don't mean physical perspective. I'm talking about the fundamentals of how to build a relationship and make a relationship work. Now, most of you know, I recommend a variety of books, one of which is called Eight Dates, which is a great book to explore what partnership looks like from a deeper level because this is the eight fundamental pieces of what it takes to create a successful relationship. But I want to invite men to even go further, go into the emotional effects of why are you even in the dating process? Why are you actually, what do you want to accomplish? And so if I could give men advice besides really exploring that for themselves, I want to encourage them to start focusing on what's termed as emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence. If you're not familiar with the book Emotional Intelligence for yourself, I certainly wish both men and women would start working on their emotional IQ as well as developing some sort of relationship IQ. In other words, create some sort of intelligence by reading some fascinating books and watching some amazing videos to help one actually determine what they really want. Because if I could give men advice, dating isn't about just opening car doors and planning a date and paying for a date, okay? I know a lot of people, that's the most important thing and a lot of women have been encouraged that that's what men are supposed to do. But I would encourage men to go way deeper than that and invite them to really learn why are they dating beyond just that need for companionship, that need for connection, that need for sex. Because ultimately the minute you invest in a woman, and I'm speaking to the, if this was a guy watching, if you're investing in a woman, you have to recognize that their emotions might get very attached to you or you might get very attached to them. And if you're not genuinely in a place to be in a fully committed relationship, then you definitely want to be up front about that. And the sad thing is men, well not sad thing, but men are rather up front and it's kind of fascinating because a lot of men will say I'm not looking for a serious relationship. Well then, why not say what you're looking for? If you're looking for something casual with little emotional investment and just a connection of sex, the challenge is a lot of women are gonna reject these men. So I want men to recognize, if I could say, you know, you're gonna be rejected for saying one thing but it's so much more beneficial if you start approaching the process with the intent of seeking something deeper, of seeking something more meaningful, of sinking something more lasting. Because quite frankly, if I could tell men this, when you invest in a really great woman and develop the roots, the roots for long-term relationship success, you're gonna be happier in the long run. Men live longer when they're coupled with someone. And they live longer when they're coupled with someone when they actually make an investment in the relationship. So I'm just rambling here. I didn't really have any points to bring up. I'm just going off the cuff here but if I could just start shaking men up and suggesting that approaching the process with a lot more forethought is kind to yourself. It's kind to the woman but it's also gonna be very kind to yourself and that's what I'd like encourage men to do. All right, ladies. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below. If this resonates with you, if you have something to add or something to say, please tell me. As always, please tell your friends about Midlife Love Mastery. Send them to my website, jonathanthouside.com. Have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do, giving you a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug if I have your consent. Thank you so much. Wishing you a super duper, wonderful, fantastic day. Bye-bye now.