 Hey Weirdos, welcome to the Darren Marlar Radio Show. I am your head Weirdo, Darren Marlar. Coming up on the show today, will we see extraterrestrials in our lifetime? Got an ice cream van that's pulled over for a DUI? A kidnapper is caught, and the girl he kidnaps is saved thanks to the promise of free pizza. A teenager doing a little job hunting somehow arrives at a moment of duh. Despite there being an abundance of negative news about airline employees, one particular Southwest Airlines worker has become a shining example of going above and beyond the call of duty. A very touching story for you a little bit later on. We'll be doing question impossible. Also, stories still coming out of Charlottesville. None of them are pretty. This one involves the firing of a police officer. I'll have that one for you coming up here in a bit. We'll take a look at your weird holidays. Up next, happy Thursday for all of my fellow Weirdos who are ready for work. I really admire you, people. I'm already at work, and I'm still not ready. What do you want to be when you grow up? Darren Marlar. I think he's cool. The Darren Marlar Radio Show. Finally, a conertion to the real world. This could be the beginning. You feel it? You feel it? You feel it? Virtrued Mokotov and Alvin Mann were introduced eight years ago at a gym in Middletown, New York where they still work out together twice a week. Oh yeah, and she is 98 years old. He is 94 years old. They were married August 5th at the Middletown City Hall where they exchanged vows before Mayor Di Stefano and 50 family members and close friends. If you want to read the entire story, you can read it right now in my blog at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Let's take a look at today's weird, wacky, strange, zany, odd, bizarre, quirky, unusual holidays. Today is Thursday, August 17th. We now have 129 shopping days until Christmas. And today is Coonskin Cap Day. It's always on the birthday of Davey Crockett. Coonskin caps, though, in the middle of summer. Oh yeah, that's a wonderful idea. Sounds more like a Davey Crock to me. And it's drink coffee at the office from a sippy cup day. Just to see if anybody notices. And you're really special if you do it while wearing your Coonskin cap. The total solar eclipse. Well, it is coming August 21st. People have been talking about it. The excitement is building. But then again, so does the worry. That's building as well. That it's going to leave behind a nation of people who have eye problems or have gone blind. Why? Well, because you might remember taking a magnifying glass outside as a kid on a sunny day. You ever do that? You'd burn a hole in a leaf or start a small fire. Or if you were really in a torture, you'd burn an ant. Well, it takes just a few seconds for the smoke to start through that magnifying glass, right? Well, officials say your eye is basically a very powerful magnifying glass. If you stare at the sun, you're focusing all the energy of that light onto your retina, the light-sensitive tissue in the back of your eye. And you're essentially burning a hole in your eye. And you're not going to know it either. You're not going to feel any pain because the retina doesn't have any pain fibers. But still, the damage is going to happen, probably after just a few seconds. So if you need to learn how to protect your eyes during the upcoming eclipse, even if you don't have protective glasses, there is a way to watch the eclipse. Even if you don't have the glasses, you can check it out in my blog and read all about it at DarrenOnTheAir.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N, DarrenOnTheAir.com. Open up stories still coming out of Charlottesville. None are very pretty. I do have one involving the firing of a police officer. I'm Darren Marlar. Americans are getting bigger and wider and heavier, and I'm one of them. According to statistics, obesity rates in all 50 of the United States went up over the past year. So if California falls into the ocean, it may not be an earthquake that causes that. Debris from Charlottesville. It is still dropping. Conrad Laurie Vey lives and works as a police officer in Springfield, Massachusetts, far from the violence that rocked Charlottesville, Virginia. But nevertheless, he's facing a disciplinary action possible firing because of those protests, after making what even he admits was a stupid comment online about Saturday's fatal car crash. In response to a story about the car plowing into the counter protesters, Laurie Vey wrote, Ha ha ha ha ha, love this, maybe people shouldn't block roads. Well, somehow, somebody saw that and then complained to the city police department. Laurie Vey later told reporters that he's not a racist and he did not support the white supremacist rally. He just added, I'm a good man who made a stupid comment and would just like to be left alone. Springfield's police chief says he's launched an investigation and the matter will be brought before a police review board. Mayor Dominic Sarno doesn't sound very sympathetic either. He says there is no place for this in our society, let alone from a Springfield police officer. I'm Darren Marlar and if you'd like a few more laughs after the show, you can find them at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. Actually, you can find them on my website. I have a new episode every day. And if you want to find them, you can find them in my blog at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Time for today's question impossible. Today's question. A group of women in Wales are knitting sweaters for what animal? Again, a group of women in Wales are knitting sweaters for what animal? I will give you the answer to that question coming up later on in the show. According to a study reported in the journal Circulation, heavy long-term coffee drinking does not raise the risk of heart attacks for most people. But reading the price board at Starbucks definitely will. It's the birthday wrap-up for Thursday, August 17th. Celebrating birthdays today from Three Kings, Boomtown and Blue Bloods, Donnie Wahlberg is 48. From Mr. Griever and I am Sam, actor Sean Penn is 57 today. And from Heat the Untouchables, Meet the Parents, Actor and Legend, Robert De Niro is 74. Despite there being an abundance of negative news about airlines recently, a certain airline worker has become a shining example of going above and beyond the call of duty. I'll have that story coming up here in just a bit. If you'd like to drop me an email, I would love to read what you have to say about the show. You can email me at darronontheair.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N, darronontheair.com. Oprah Winfrey. Well, apparently she's not satisfied with having her own network, her own TV show, her own magazine. Now she has her own food line. Oprah's media mogul Oprah Winfrey. She's always struggled with her weight, right? Well, now she says she has found something that has helped her and she also wants to help others live a healthier lifestyle. Oprah is partnering with Kraft Heinz to create her own food line titled, Oh, That's Good. She explains the recipes will be inspired by the things that she likes to include in her own diet. So if you'd like to lose weight, then gain it all back again and then lose it and then gain it and be on a perpetual weight yo-yo like, Oprah, this is the diet for you. The Modern Woman has a lot on her plate these days. Between working and looking beautiful, who has time to keep up with the latest fashions and diet fans? Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore when you subscribe to Modern Woman Magazine. Each month, Modern Woman will keep you up to date on all the important issues the Modern Woman needs to know. This month, Modern Woman has 10 tips on how to discover your body's flaws because we know looks are everything and our diet and nutrition section will cover 89 ways to starve yourself thin. And this month, you'll want to read the inspiring article, You Know Your Fat So Stop Eating So Much. It's all in Modern Woman Magazine on Salet News Stands Now. Modern Woman Magazine for the Modern Woman. Hey Beth, how about getting some lunch? I can. It's not my day to eat. Coming up next, a teenager doing a little job hunting somehow arrives at a moment of duh. First though, today's soul glow, and despite there being an abundance of negative news about airline employees, this Southwest worker has become a shining example of going above and beyond the call of duty. Stacey Hurt was preparing to fly back to Pittsburgh from undergoing a chemotherapy treatment in Nashville, Tennessee when she was offered an earlier flight home. Unfortunately though, there was not enough time for her luggage to get transferred, and her suitcase was unable to make it onto the plane. When Hurt discovered that she had lost her bag, she was overwhelmingly upset. In order to survive colon cancer, Hurt will have to undergo chemotherapy treatments for the rest of her life, and inside that lost bag there were a number of important medicinal and emotional objects that she wanted and needed for her chemo session on the next day. When Hurt spoke to Southwest Airlines worker Sarah Rowan about her dilemma, the young employee immediately understood the gravity of the situation. Rowan tirelessly searched for the bag until at 3am she finally found the woman's suitcase. Because the couriers had all gone home by that point, Rowan delivered the suitcase to Hurt's doorstep herself. On top of the suitcase, she left a heartwarming note scribbled on tissue paper. The two women they later shared a tearful conversation where Hurt expressed her gratitude and disbelief at Rowan's efforts. I warn you though, it's kind of hard not to get tearful listening to this yourself, but if you want to watch the video of it, you can find it in my blog right now at DarrenOnTheAir.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N, DarrenOnTheAir.com. Peace and quiet seems like pretty good things until you've had too much peace and quiet. Keith Davison got his fill in the months that followed the death of his wife Evie after 66 years of marriage. But it's not quite at Davison's house anymore, late this spring the 94-year-old retired judge installed in his backyard an in-ground pool and filled it with the neighborhood kids. Davison's backyard addition, it's no mere waiting pool either, at 32 feet long, 9 feet deep under the diving board. It's a welcome addition in a town that doesn't have an outdoor public pool. If you want to read the full story in my blog, you can find it right now at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Time for today's Moment of Duh, and a teenager doing a little job hunting somehow arrives at a moment of Duh. Wow, I thought it was hard finding a job here in the United States. Don't ever move to India. A teenager there applied for a state government job and got a call to go in for an interview. But he applied for that job 34 years ago. The now 52-year-old man is too old for the government job that they called him about. Wow, good thing he didn't wait around for an answer. Coming up on the Darren Marlar radio show, a kidnapper is caught and the girl he kidnaps is saved thanks to the promise of a free pizza. That story is on the way, my fellow weirdos. I'm Darren Marlar, and if you're in a middle school, well, they're not going to be moving forward with an initial offer to let kids skip to the front of the lunch line for a fee. Parents of students at Lawton Chilet's Middle Academy in Lakeland recently received a Parent Teacher Student Association sponsorship form sent out to raise money for the school with one line item promising, among some other perks, a front of the lunch line pass if you give a $100 donation. Well, dad Chris Stevenson told an ABC news station there that's not okay. Certain kids, for some kids to be able to get their lunch first based on what their parents can pay. Exactly, because that would teach kids that those who have money have more power and privilege. We all know that's not true in the real world. Hello, I'm Greg, the director of admissions for Trump University. If you have goals of becoming one of the richest persons in the world, then you need to get your application for enrollment in Trump University. Slots are filling fast. At Trump University, you'll learn from the best minds in the business world on how to amass a fortune. Your first semester will include a course inheriting a million dollar business from your father and how to parlay those millions into real estate development deals that go bankrupt. And at Trump University, you can enroll in my seminar, The Comover, so you can look just like the Donald. Ha ha. Bired for what? No, I was just kidding, your hair looks great. It really helped me a lot and I appreciate it. So enroll now at Trump University. No, it was just a joke. Scientists in the UK say that they're close to developing a quantum compass that would be able to locate itself without GPS satellites. Man, apparently we guys will do anything to avoid having to stop and ask for directions. Coming up next, an ice cream van is pulled over for DUI in today's brain-on-drug story, but first, a kidnapper's caught and the girly kidnaps is saved thanks to the promise of a free pizza in today's totally outrageous. What time is it boys and girls? Totally outrageous. When a man had kidnapped his daughter away from her rightful guardians, she was finally found three weeks later thanks to the efforts of a UK man and the promise of free pizza. After a legal battle found that four-year-old Yvette Henley's father was unable to care for her, her grandparents of Hesperia, California, they were granted custody. While they were never able to take custody, though, due to Yvette and her father's disappearance following the ruling. As police struggled to find the youngster, they asked Harry Brown for help. Harry is a 21-year-old Surrey man who just happened to be Facebook friends with Virgil, the young girl's dad. While the two had originally met on the internet some time earlier, they had struck up a conversation in the past, so police reached out to Brown in particular because he was only one of three people who had liked a profile pic of the kidnapper some months earlier. Brown then started chatting up Virgil in hopes of getting the location of his hiding place. Virgil eventually revealed that he was holed up in an Arizona motel with Yvette and his girlfriend. Brown then asked if he could send Virgil a pizza at the hotel, to which the father gleefully accepted, offering up the exact room number and address of the hotel. When police later showed up at the room, they arrested Virgil and sent Yvette back to the loving home of her grandparents. Today's question is impossible again. A group of women in Wales are knitting sweaters for what animal? If you are guessing whales, the answer is no. Actually, these women are knitting sweaters for penguins. Why well to protect them in the event of an oil spill? An ice cream van is pulled over for DUI. In Goshen, Indiana, several motorists called to report a swerving vehicle. When police arrived, the vehicle, an ice cream truck, was stopped and the driver was selling ice cream to children, so the officer waited until Dennis D. Cogburn started it up again. The officer said he followed the van and pulled it over after Cogburn failed to signal turns and swerved into the wrong lane. Cogburn failed field sobriety tests and was arrested on a preliminary charge of driving under the influence of alcohol. And nobody is buying his excuse that he just had too much rum reason. Do you think we are going to see extraterrestrials in our lifetime? We are going to talk about that next, weirdos. I'm Darren Marlar and while American women see super thin models and feel unattractive and unhappy about their average or curvy bodies, men, we don't feel the same way about you women that you do. 80% of men, ages 18 to 50, say, we want a voluptuous woman. According to former plus-size model Nancy Hason, author of 101 Sexy Secrets, how to be hot, sexy and beautiful at any size. Another 15% of men prefer a woman of average size, while just 5% opt for the super skinny lady that all you girls seem to want to be. 20 years ago, most fashion models were a size 8. Today, they are a size 0. I get this, at 14, which is now considered a plus size, that was Marilyn Monroe's dress size. 14. Stop looking at the magazines, ladies. There are hundreds of men out there who think you are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous the way you are right now. Hey, if you'd like to get social with me, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Mines.com, LinkedIn, Instagram. I've got links to all of them on my website. Just go to Darrenontheair.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N, Darrenontheair.com. Had a blast with you, weirdos, today. Hope you had fun with me as well. Gonna leave it today with this story. Those hoping to see the day when we on Earth make formal contact with an extraterrestrial civilization, we should not hold our breath. It's very unlikely to happen in any of our lifetimes. That's according to two Cornell University astronomer researchers who say that because space is so immensely and mind-bogglingly big that even at the speed of light, it takes an incredible amount of time for a communication to reach anywhere. They're saying we should probably not expect a reply until at least 1500 years in the future. Which is great news, because I don't need anybody else laying claim to my Reese's Pieces. Good night, ladies. Hit it, sweetheart.