 Once again we are abroad with the Lockhart. Mr. and Mrs. Lockhart are taking a trip through Europe. That is, Mrs. Lockhart is taking Mr. Lockhart. As you probably know, Mr. Lockhart represents the average type of businessman. Blunt, comfortable, knows his own mind, enjoys his business and community, and with much rather have gone fishing. Mrs. Lockhart represents the pleasant type of housewife. She goes to the women's club and the literary club of her town and still retains the spirit of romance. We listen in on them as they are in the hotel in Rome, preparing for a sight-seeing trip. Well, my dear, I tell you, I can't stand this heat any longer. I don't find it hot, dear. The hotel is quite cool. When I say it's hot, it's hot. If you didn't take so many of those cooling drinks, you wouldn't feel so hot. Whatever possessed me to come down here with you is more than I can tell. You did it for me, dear. Well, there are some things no man should do for any woman, and this is one of them. You'll feel better after a while. Lord, I suppose old Charlie is taking it easy back home, up at the lake, fishing and resting, and here am I, walking my dogs off looking at things I don't remember one minute after I've seen them. Now, dear, that's just exaggeration. You do remember them, and it's not hot. Now, this afternoon we're going out alone, just ourselves, dear, and we won't have to hurry, but just take our time. Oh, I can't go out again today, dear. But we must. We've only got a day or so longer here, and there's so much we haven't seen. Oh, it's too hot. If you take off that heavy suit and put on your light one, you'd be doing something sensible. Everyone in Rome wears light suits, and remember the motto, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. If I did, as the Romans did, I'd stay right here in this hotel. Now, you change your suit and get ready while I send off a note to Aunt Min. No. Funny, we didn't have any mail from home, isn't it? Well, don't be long, dear. Rome, do as the Romans do. Now I know why those old birds and days gone by wore nothing but night shirts. Here we are, dear. Now, this is the first stop. Don't you feel cooler here? Yes. Now, I'll see what the guidebook says. You see that house on the corner there? Yeah. That's the house where Keats and Shelley lived. Well, what about it? That's where they lived. You were Sheets and Shelley. They might be the battery for today's game, for all I know. Oh, well, it's Keats and Shelley. Well, what do these two birds do? Well, didn't you ever learn anything when you were at school? I certainly didn't learn anything about those two guys. Well, they were poets. Oh, just poets. Just a couple of poets. With long hair. I don't know. Now, listen, my dear, there's more poetry to me in an old swimming hole with old Charlie there than all the reading poetry ever written. Oh, well, never mind. And I wish I was in that old swimming hole right now. Now we're going into this church over here. They say it's very interesting, dear, because they have a whole cemetery in the basement. And it'll be cool in there. Well, lead on. Get in. I want you to be quiet and don't make any impersonate remark. I'll just be myself, dear, just the man you married. Well, then, we'd better not go in. What's in there, anyway? Well, it says that the walls of the basement are beautifully decorated in all sorts of designs with people's bones. Whoa, that's one place I can afford to pass up. Don't you want to go in? I do not. Oh, well, I guess I don't want to go in either. We'll get a taxi and go to the forum. All right. Say, what did you say was the name of the night shirt these old Romans used to wear? Toga? Ah, that's it. You know, that's not a bad idea for the summertime. Why? Well, for one thing, you get more breeze, and they don't bag at the knees, and you don't have to have them pressed. Oh, will. Of course, I suppose they did have their drawbacks. Now, be careful. Well, it took these Highlanders we saw in Scotland to really improve on them. How was that? Why, with their kilts. They got the same effect with all the advantages, with only half the material and twice as much breeze. Oh, well, you're awful. Here we are now at the forum. Yeah. Now, this is where Mark Antony made his famous speech. Is that so? You remember? Friends, Romans and countrymen. I know. Land me your ear. That's it. How did you know? We had that in an entertainment at school once. The reason I remember it was because Charlie and some other fellows in me had a lot of false ears made, and we threw them up on the platform. And I suppose you thought that was great fun. She sure worked out all right. The principal had us all put out, and we all went fishing. Oh, dear, I don't think this trip's doing you a bit of good. Not much. Well, anyway, this is the place. Now we'll go to the coliseum. Oh, and this is where they took old Caesar for a ride? No, that was the capital with the senators. Did they have senators in those days? Yes, this is where they originated. Well, the Romans sure have a lot to answer for. How do you mean? I mean, if they started the idea that the country could be run by senators. You know, I think this fellow Mussolini has the right idea. What's that? Why, when he wants anything done, he doesn't refer it to any senators. All he does is just notify himself that he's going to have a conference with himself, and then he talks to himself and he signs a bill, then he tells the country about it, and they say, hooray for Mussolini, he always gets what he wants. Here's the coliseum, dear. Isn't it wonderful? Why, it's just like our football stadium back home, isn't it? This is where the Romans held their games and this is where the early Christians were thrown to the lion. Well, well, you know, I'll bet those lions were sort of proud to eat those early Christians. Why, Will, what do you mean? Well, I mean just this. Those Christians were honest-to-goodness Christians, I take it, and when Old Man Lion was handed a Christian, he knew he was getting a good one. Why, dear? But I'll bet if that happened today, Old Man would turn up his nose at a lot of them and say, this ain't the good old Christian brand I used to get. Why, Will, you're talking to yourself. No, just thinking out loud. Do you see those arches over there? What are they, do you know? What do you mean, those over there? Those ruined arches? Yeah. They're all falling away. Gosh, I wish Old Charlie could see them. He sure would sympathize with them. Now, why would he? Why didn't you know? Poor old Charlie has fallen arches, too. Oh, Will. Tomorrow we've got to see. I'm hot and I'm tired. We'll just see this fountain, and then we'll run to the catacombs, and then we'll go back to the hotel. No, I'm not going to go to any catacombs. Oh, but, dear, we ought to see them. Well, now, what are they? Just caves under the ground, aren't they? Yes, but... They're damp, and I'm hot, and I'll catch a chill. Well, I don't want you to catch a cold. But we must just stop here at the Trevy Fountain. Here, give me a lira. What for? I want to throw it in the fountain. Well, here it is, but why? Because the legend says that if we throw a coin into the fountain, we'll surely come back to Rome. Well, my dear, you're sure going to give that legend a black eye, because we'll never come back here again if I know it. Well, I've thrown it in anyway. Now we'll go back to the hotel. It's about time. I'm tired and hot, and I'm woozy from looking at ruins. In fact, I think I've got a ruin item. Say, look, look back there now where you threw your money. See those kids in the fountain? That's where your money's gone. Well, I'm... Just another gypsy game for the tour. Well, I'm glad I threw it in anyway. All right. Here's the hotel. Array for that. I'm so hot, I feel like a Roman candle that's been burned at both ends. And do you know what I'm going to do right now? What? I'm going to do as the Romans do. I'm going to go upstairs and take off these clothes and get into my toga and go to sleep. All right, dear, you have a good sleep, and I'll go and see if there's any mail yet. Are you awake? What is it? Here's a letter from Aunt Mia. Oh, well, what's it say? Well, it says, how are your boats? Uh-huh. My, how we envy you seeing all those wonderful things in Europe. Anything about Charlie in there? Yes. And Charlie says to tell Will that it's been so terribly hot here all the summer that he's not been able to go fishing once. Well, what do you know about that? It's been 95 in the shade for the past five days, and everybody's just wilted to nothing. Well... How are we envy you two traveling around Europe enjoying yourselves while we just sit at home here too tired to eat and too hot to even talk pleasantly to each other? Well, well... There now, Will, what do you think of that? Well, you know, it seems kind of cooler here now. It's been cool all day, and I want you to do one thing. What's that, dear? Don't let me hear you complaining any more about the heat while we're over here. All right, dear. Now I'm going up to lie down and have a rest. Oh, poor old Charlie. Not a fish all summer. Well, Europe ain't so bad after all. Well, I guess he's pretty nearly right. At any rate, so the Lockhearts have had their first experience in Rome. Next week, we hope you will again be abroad with the Lockhearts.