 Okay, so you want a love story that you can tell your friends about, that you can talk to your family about, that you can remember down through when you're older and you look back at your life and you remember this amazing love story that you've had. But maybe you've gone online or maybe some of the dating apps that are out there and you haven't really experienced a whole lot of love and maybe not even romance there. Maybe you've gone on a bunch of dates and you've just had horrible experiences, the guys out there, they don't even really look like they're pictures from online dating. You know, he ends up being really boring or maybe he just wants to hook up with you or he's everything that you don't really want in a man. But you don't really get approached all that much in real life. So what do you do? Today we're gonna be talking about how to meet great guys, how to avoid meeting the wrong types of men and how to get men to approach you in the real world. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Today I have a very special guest with me. Her name is Camille Virginia and she just put together this book. I actually just purchased it. It is called The Offline Dating Method and it's a really great book. I was just going through the first chapter before we got on here and a lot of the things that she talks about in there are, I've approached a lot of women in my life and one of the things that I've noticed and I was in the men's dating industry for a while teaching men how to go out and meet women. And one of the things that I noticed is that she talks about a lot of those things but from a women's perspective in the book and how to kind of overcome a lot of the obstacles and all that kind of stuff. So thanks for being with us today, Camille. Yeah, thanks for having me, Matthew. So just tell me a little bit about like why the offline dating method? You know, why is it important to you and like what kind of got you inspired to start talking about meeting men offline? So I had never planned on actually making this into a business and I actually grew up very shy. So if you'd told me this, that I'd be doing this 10 years ago, I would have looked at you like you had three heads. I was the one who needed the dating advice but I really, you know, growing up shy and as an introvert, I just kind of got sick of it. And I was like, how do I get over this? Everyone else can connect with each other. And here I am just kind of sitting on the sidelines. So I gradually pushed past my social comfort levels and started doing things like going to parties by myself, moved to new cities by myself, didn't have any friends there. And then gradually I just kind of fell in love with connecting with people. And it's not about the, it's about the meaningful connection part. And in the process of asking great questions and genuinely caring about, you know, how people's day is going, I started getting asked out by men in random places. I mean, totally random places. The coffee shop, walking down the street, the animal shelter while I was volunteering. And so as my friends started, you know, getting on dating apps and they're swiping the day away without a date, I'm going into the grocery store and coming out with a date. And so they're like, how do you do that? So I was in corporate America at the time. I made a PowerPoint presentation on how to meet men because that's how you learn things in corporate America. And that ballooned into a workshop. And then that became an online course and then that became a business. And I had this love of connection. And I think it's just, it's even more needed now than when I got started because people are so disconnected and lonely. Yeah, I mean, we have all this social media going on and we have these new dating apps and online things. And it seems like everybody's online and everybody's on apps and everybody's on their phone all the time. But it seems like a lot of people are having problems. It's like, even though we have just all these social media things and all these apps and all this stuff, it's like, it's almost like dating's gotten more difficult. Like, what do you think is like, why do you think this is? Why do you think even though like all these apps are around it's becoming a problem. And a lot of women are coming to me and they're just like, I can't find good men on apps. Like what do you think is going on here? I think a few things. I think that what was once a novel new way to get a date like, oh, I can get a date without leaving my house is now ballooned into, I don't know how to get a date without going online because in the process of finding this new way of meeting people, people have kind of lost their social skills and the fear of talking to people face to face has just ballooned to epic proportions because people have gone for so long without doing it even if it's just a couple months or a couple of years. And so they don't know how to talk to each other. They're relying on these dating apps. As with anything, there's room for, well, like loopholes, I guess, where people can lie. They can take up regression of having a bad day on someone they've never met. All this bad stuff is happening. And so people who are now reliant on these tools who are making them feel awful, don't know what else to do. Yeah, I've definitely been seeing that. And I think it's totally true. And I think more than ever, because maybe it's not because of the social media stuff, but I think it's kind of enhanced a lot of people's addictions and their problems. And so it's like, it's like we kind of get sucked into these things. And then all of a sudden it's like, we're not actually, we feel like we're more connected than ever before. We have a huge friends list, but it's like, how many of these people are we actually connected to? And there's kind of these studies that have been out there over the last couple of years that have been talking about people's loneliness. And what they've been finding is that even though people are more connected than ever before, people are more lonely than they've ever been before. And so I think a lot of this work is more important than ever before. And so I'm really happy that you're doing this. I've always really liked the idea of offline dating. I think that it's really, really valuable. One of the things for me, and when I was in the men's dating side, one of the things that we used to talk about all the time, because everybody always asks, right? They're always like, hey, where are all the good people? Like where are all the good women? Where are all the good men, right? And it's like, they're looking for this like special place that they're gonna show up. And there's just a big room of single, available, high quality men that are waiting to get into a committed relationship with these people, right? And it's just, it's interesting because obviously it doesn't work like that, right? And the truth is that, at least in my opinion, you can tell me what you think about this. But the truth that I've found and that a lot of my clients have found is that people, the good people are everywhere. And that if you wanna meet somebody, you can meet somebody literally anywhere that you go. And with a caveat as well, saying that there's better places and worse places, obviously, right? Like if you don't drink, go into a bar to meet people might not be the best idea. And if you're into like super into personal growth or something, maybe you should be going to personal growth places. What are your thoughts on that? A hundred percent, yeah. I mean, you're right. The bad news is there's no magical land of wonderful single people. I think maybe that's what people used to think dating apps were, then now reality hit, that's not true. But the good news is that every time you step put outside your house or your front door, they're everywhere. They're buying cereal at the grocery store. They're renewing their driver's license. They're at the dog park. You walk within an arm's reach of hundreds, if not thousands of great single people every single day, but we need to show you how to tap into those opportunities if you're not already. Yeah, absolutely. And I just wanna throw in another thing in there as well because we've had a lot of, one of the things that we kind of discovered in the men's dating industry there's kind of like this thing out there, like day game, right? Like you go out to night game and you meet women at bars and stuff and then there's kind of day game which is like going out on the streets. You might just go on the streets and meet women there or you might go to a coffee shop or you might go to the grocery store and you're just, like what we would teach men is just be always on the lookout, right? Like always be on the lookout to look for somebody that is somebody that you might want to approach. And for the most part, most people aren't expecting anything to happen during the day, right? Like most women, if you talk to them they've hardly ever had guys come up and approach them during the day. Some of them have, right? But a lot of them haven't. And I think a big reason for that is because a lot of people aren't expecting it. And so they like, you know, a lot of people are like just they're on their phones and they're just looking down and there's like some place, there's some country or city or something where they're talking about like putting lights on the ground so that, you know, like you, because everybody's looking at their phones all the time. And so like the street lights are on the ground so that they don't miss it, right? And so it's, you know what I mean? And so most people are like kind of looking at their phones, they're not paying attention to the world around them. And so if, you know, and so a lot of people aren't expecting, a lot of women aren't expecting it. And so they kind of put themselves into a position where a guy isn't going to approach them because just coming from kind of a guy's perspective, what happens with guys when they're looking to approach women is that there's like the small chunk of dudes out there who are like players, right? And they will approach anybody. Anybody, yeah. Anybody out there with a pulse, they will go out and approach her if they're attracted to her. But that's a very small percentage of dudes. And most of the guys out there, you know, probably around 80% or more of guys are out there and they don't approach most women. And what they're looking for is, what I like to say is they're looking for permission, right? They're looking for an opening. They're looking for something where it's not high risk, where there's a high probability chance that it's gonna be successful. And they don't see that all that often, you know? Because most of the women that they walk around and see are on their phones and doing all these things. So what are some things that women can do to, and what you called it in your book was approachability? And by the way, if you're watching this right now, you should go and pick up Camille's book. There's a link in the description below or above, depending on where you're watching this from. It's called the online dating method. Great book so far that I've read it, or sorry, the offline dating method. Yeah, so anyway, yeah, what are some tips if a woman wants to increase her approachability and she wants these guys to kind of pay attention to her and think, wow, this is somebody that I actually do want to approach and it's not gonna be this high risk thing that's gonna be really difficult for me to go and do. Well, that's the whole first chapter of the book and you can do that without saying a word. So I really, I want people to get out there and just realize it doesn't have to be scary. You don't have to go up to the hottest guy in the room. It's just like you said, Matthew, it's giving that safe signal or that green light, that permission for him to approach you. But you've got to meet him halfway. Even as a woman who wants guys to come up to me and take the lead, you've got to make it safe for him. Dating is a team sport and we're on the same team as both genders are on the same team here. So also the good guys, to your point, are kind of afraid. They don't want to be creepy. They don't want to be intrusive and so you're missing gems of men if you're not doing something to help them come up to you. So one of the ways you can do that is dress for confidence in a conversation. And I could go into a lot of tips on this, but basically the premise is wear something that makes you feel good because you're going to carry yourself a different way. You're going to be in the mindset of beating people. When you go to the grocery store and you're sweatpants and no makeup, I mean, maybe you feel great that way. Most women don't and they kind of try to be like, well, I just want to get in and get out. Approach that differently. Wear something that makes you feel great. That's the first step. Second step is to wear something a little bit unique. Men are visual creatures. Give them something that's easy to comment on. So a bright red scarf or a jingly bracelet or something that can help them out. And there's more tips too, like smiling and eye contact and things like that that you can do again without even saying a word. But I would say the foundation of being approachable is being comfortable. And part of that to your point is being aware of what's going on because you're right, if a woman's on a phone or heck anyone's on a phone and it's a huge barrier for someone to come up to her because they don't want to startle her. And whereas if she's looking around, maybe she sees you, flashes a smile, even if that's as far as it goes, you just made it 10 times easier for that guy to come up to you because he's going to feel safer and not feel like you're gonna have this reaction of who are you, what do you want? That's embarrassing for both of you. So little things like that. Okay, and so what do you say if like, I don't know, I had this woman the other day who was in our chat who is saying like, she was really concerned, she never has men approach her ever. And she was like, yeah, I'm average looking, I dress average, what's wrong? Guys approach me like, what should I be doing? What would you say to her? So I would say start by addressing for confidence in the conversation. And then also I would say be more present and settle into the moment. I think as women we are more on guard because that's just the nature of our gender we kind of have to be. Whereas if you can just kind of be aware of your surroundings, like every time you walk into a new space, do a quick look around. You walk around the corner to a new aisle in the grocery store, see who's there. That makes you more present, it makes you more aware of what's going on. It actually makes you more feel safer because when you're totally engrossed in your phone or thinking about your to-do list and you're not aware, that's when things can startle you or things can come up that you're not expecting that if you just know kind of been aware of your surroundings being present in the moment you would have seen that coming a mile away. So that I would recommend that she may not look comfortable with herself. And when you don't feel comfortable you don't look comfortable. And it's a red light for people approaching you. They don't wanna look, they don't wanna approach someone who looks uncomfortable in the moment. Yeah, and one other thing I just wanna speak to around that as well. I had a friend the other day who came to me and she was like, oh, I saw this guy at a coffee shop. And we made eye contact and he still didn't come over and approach me. And kind of one thing I wanna mention in terms of that as well is that don't get kind of too frustrated if a guy doesn't like one guy doesn't come over and approach you, right? One of the things that as men and being on the men's side one of the things that we kind of learned was that most of the times when guys approach women it doesn't work out, right? Like most of the time he can't even get a number from her, right? And so it's not even, it's not a big deal, right? Like if you look at a guy and he doesn't come over don't take it personally, right? He's probably got a million different things going on in his head, right? He looks over you, he's probably not, he might not even be in like I'm gonna go out and approach some women type of mode, right? And you look at him and he like looks at you and he's like, whoa, wait, like what just happened right there, right? And it might just kind of like jog him a little bit and he's like, wait, should I? What's going on? And I've been in that space before too where I've seen a woman who was like making obvious eye contact with me and I'm like walking the other way and I was just in the middle of doing something and I'm like, and it takes you a minute so you can figure out what just happened. You're like, wait, was she looking at me? Is that, and then it's like if you're walking in two different ways all of a sudden as a guy you like, if you wanna go and approach her you have to like turn around and then go like chase after her, right? Like jump in front of her and be like, hey, you were just looking at me and I noticed that, right? And so it can be a weird thing for a guy to do. And so, I wouldn't get too caught up on any one guy doing any one thing or not doing any one thing because he might not even be single. And maybe he's just likes the validation. Maybe he is single, but he's scared. Maybe he's single, but he's not interested in dating right now. I mean, there could be a million different things that are going on. And so my suggestion is just not to take it personally because it's definitely not personal. And just to get into a flow like what Camille was talking about, be present. And if I threw something else in there it would just be to just kind of get into like a fun, playful vibe and just feel just connected to everything because I think at least in my personal experience around kind of all of this stuff, that's some of the most valuable, one of the most valuable things you can do. Also, if you guys are watching this right now and you have any questions at all for us, let us know in the chat. And when we get to the end, we can answer the questions. If you have questions about meeting guys, if you have questions about anything, actually, if you wanna ask us anything, we are up to answering any questions that you have. So Camille, so if you're really shy, say you're a really shy woman and you're just like, I don't know if I can even make eye contact with guys. I don't know about doing any of this kind of stuff. I don't know that I wanna dress to stand out. I don't know that I wanna do any of those things. What should a woman do if she's really shy or she's kind of got social anxiety or she's kind of afraid to even make eye contact or do any of that kind of stuff? What do you think she should probably do? So I 100% empathize if anyone watching feels that way. I grew up with social anxiety and honestly, full disclosure, like when I holed up, when I was writing my book, I would go for a week without leaving my house at a time and it took some time to get my social skills back when I went out there. So I really do understand. I would say the way that I did it was just to start small and so if you're a very shy woman and the thought of going up to the most attractive guys like giving you hives right now, don't do that. Just start talking to other women first. If the thought of talking to strangers is like, I don't know if I can do that. Start by actually start so small that you just give genuine compliments to other women and that's it. Just drop a compliment and walk away and then there's no pressure to continue the conversation. When we give a compliment, the compliment giver actually feels better than the compliment receiver and that will break through that fear of I can't talk to strangers. That will break that script and that barrier in half and then you can go on to the next level. But to your point, don't just do it once. Just like you were saying with the guy if he doesn't come over to you once, that's one person. That is 100% not about you. You haven't even said two words to each other. So get into what I call a compliment rampage and have a goal of like five genuine compliments in the next 10 minutes. And it's gotta be genuine. And this is where like that first thought that comes into your mind when you're out and about like, I love that woman's dress. Go tell her, don't overthink it. Go tell that woman right now and then walk away. So that will get you into the momentum and by the fourth or fifth time you've done that, you're gonna be like, oh, this is actually kind of fun and makes me feel good and it's a lot easier than I thought. Then you can go on to the next step of maybe talking to elderly gentlemen and giving them compliments and kind of work your way up with that. Yeah, that's such a cool idea. It's funny because we used to do something very, very similar in the men's space. Like guys would come to us and basically what we, in fact, it was something that I had a huge, huge problem with a lot of women think that guys are just like approach machines and they're just like, I'm Mr. Confidence and I'm gonna go approach. And like I was in the military. I remember when I came back from Iraq in back in 2004, I came out and I was like at a bar with a bunch of my buddies, right? And we're all like drinking at the bar and I saw this woman over there that was really attractive and I was just like, oh, you know, and so I like go walking, right? And I'm like walking up and like mid stride. I like stop and I'm like, you know, and I just felt like the anxiety and I was just like, God, it just like crippled me. And I turned around, right? And I just like went running back to my friends. I was like, yeah, what's up? You know, and they're like, were you gonna go talk to her or not? Wow. Me? Wow. You know, and so it's one of those things where it's I, you know, one of the things that you might wanna do and one of the things that I did when I was first kind of like approaching women because I had massive social anxiety and was just totally afraid of approaching women was just going and talking to people and just asking questions, just getting in that social mood, right? Even if a compliment is too much for you, you can even just ask directions from people. And like I've gone on streets back in the day, I used to go on streets and just walk up and just ask the same directions from person after person after person, just over and over and over again, just so that I could feel like okay with talking to a stranger on the street. And so, you know, eventually it got to the point where like I would hang out with people and they're just like, you are so social. Like it's amazing, like how do you have this confidence? And I'm like, it didn't start that way, you know? It just did not, it just didn't start that way. So yeah, I think it can be really, really valuable to kind of build up to it and it can take time, you know? It can take a lot of time to like build, especially depending on how bad your social anxiety, depending on how much you just hang out at home and hang out on the computer or your phone all day long and don't interact with people. It can be really, really bad if you do that all the time, which I know there's women in our community that do that. I know you're out there. We talk about this sometimes. Some of the women have talked to me about this. But the good news is you can change that anytime you want to. You could literally like get off this live, don't get off the live stream. After we're done with the live stream, then go do something. And it can just be that fast, you know? Don't overthink it. That's what I would do. That's what that produces anxiety when you get all up in your head and how do I say this thing naturally? Let me overthink it. No, to say it naturally, let it come out immediately. Don't give the fear a chance to creep in. Okay, absolutely, I totally agree. So one of the problems, one of the challenges that a lot of women kind of come to me with is that they're like, you know, some of them are like, hey, there's just all the guys I meet are players. All the guys I meet are narcissists. All the guys I meet are, you know, whatever, right? Married. You know, I get some women that are like, every man I meet is married. Yeah, right. Okay. Come on, ladies. You know, what would you say to a woman who is, who feels like she's meeting lots of players, who feels like she's meeting lots of narcissists or a lot of married men? Well, two things. One, to your point, that the men who tend to approach women all the time are usually the players. They're not the ones who are relationship ready. So if you're just waiting for a man to approach you and you're not doing anything to contribute to helping other men who may be a little bit shy, then yeah, all you're seeing is players. That doesn't mean all the men around you are players. Another thing is that, I mean, I'm gonna be fully honest here. We tend to see what we wanna believe. So if you are literally saying to Matthew that you're only meeting narcissists and players, even just saying that sentence out loud is attracting more of those people to you, flip that script, you know, even if it sounds weird to be like every man I meet, you know, adores me on some level, even if he's not interested romantically. Saying that once a day to yourself, as opposed to constantly complaining that the men that you meet are not your type or married or players or whatever is gonna be such a mindset shift. And it's gonna set things into motion that you can't even know at this point. But just change that script, first of all, because you're only seeing what you believe. So you gotta believe differently. Yeah, I 100%, 100% agree with that. And again, if you're here and you are really serious about meeting a great guy, make sure that you go and pick up Camille's book. It is called The Offline Dating Method. There's a link above or below this video depending on where you're watching it to go pick it up on Amazon. It's called The Offline Dating Method. Great book has fantastic tips and valuable information about meeting great men and dating great men. So make sure you go and check that out. So let's go over some of these comments here and see what people are saying in our comment section here. And while you're looking at that, Matthew, I just wanna say I've been in bad relationships. I have seen the worst of men and humans in general. So I don't want people to be watching and saying, oh, she can't relate, it must be easy for her. I mean, I've been in an abusive relationship. Like I get it, there are not good people out there, both men and women. But no matter what you've been through, just try to make a different choice and see who you want and deserve in your life. So I just wanted to throw that in there. Yeah, and also kind of to that point, one of the things that you're kind of talking about there is this idea of what a lot of people do men and women, which is kind of comparing yourself with other people. And a lot of people that I talk to and both on both sides, men and women, they'll tend to like compare themselves, right? And they'll be like, oh, well that person has it easy because X, Y, and Z. And really kind of going back to this whole idea that we're talking about earlier with like your belief systems, whenever you like focus on things that you don't want and you start thinking about those things all the time, you'll start finding that stuff. You'll find it in your, everywhere, right? If you're like, hey, all men are players or all men are cheaters or all men or whatever, right? What's gonna happen to a lot, what's probably gonna end up happening is you're probably gonna find that in a person, right? There was a woman that was talking about how all men are liars, right? And one of the things that's true is that most people lie about at least little things here and there. And so if you're looking for lies, right? You're constantly scanning for lies. There's a woman on our live stream the other day that was talking about how all men are liars and this guy is this liar and she's like dating this guy and she was like, I saw him on Facebook and he was online, right? And I messaged him and I was like, hey, did you not wanna talk to me anymore? And it's just like, oh my God, you know? Like Facebook will say that you're online while you're asleep, like don't go on that, right? But she's finding reasons that will, that will justify, yeah, she's seeking, she's seeking evidence that will justify her thoughts and her belief systems. And that's why it's so important to make sure that you are looking at things in a healthy way. So- The way you wanna believe, look for what you want to believe and actively seek that out, you will absolutely start finding it. Absolutely, absolutely, totally agree. All right, so Julie Tree says, hi Matt, I need love so hard to find. We were just talking about this, right Camille? We were just talking about this. You're affirming, you are affirming what you don't want well right now. Yolanda says, hi Camille, welcome. Thank you Yolanda. Kelly says, just go out playing Pokemon. Pokemon Go, I did and found my trains. Great, congratulations Kelly, that's awesome. What a good story. Ariana says, yes, it is hard to find love. This is exactly what we're talking about, right? If these are the thoughts that are going on in your mind and you just like are spewing, I'm gonna do a live stream probably in the next week or two on how to shift your thought systems to create better beliefs and better thoughts because this is obviously a huge problem for our community. So hi, hi, hi, hi people from all over the place. Gil says, I've been searching for 11 years. I've given up, I'm watching you now, hopefully getting some tips from you. Yeah, well I mean. I would love to know if people can write, what's the barrier, like what is stopping you? And if you feel free to get tactical, like I literally, I can't talk to people, I'm scared or something. Cause Matthew and I would love to literally like do a little coaching right now and just help you out and get you to over that next step, which is gonna help a lot of people watching who are in the same position. Yeah, if you have any questions about your situation, about men approaching you, about you approaching men, about talking to men, about anything that you wanna talk about in your life, just go ahead and throw it into the comments section and we will talk about it. So Angel says, can't find a good man. Oh, there we go, there we go. Flip that around. Flip that around. So my heart says, I'm 38 years old, so upset thinking that until now I'm still single. Sometimes I just woke up in the middle of the night and feel so nervous, depressed. I wanna cry, what is wrong with me? Nothing wrong. I mean that's, you know, if it's human to cry and human to worry, but how about the more important question is what do you, what's the next step that you wanna do about it? Cause you have the power to change that. And you're still gonna cry sometimes. I love crying, I love good crying. Yeah, good cry session is, it's needed, it's needed. I have a good cry session every once in a while too. Me too. Yeah, and it's one of those things, you know, like if you are doing something and it's not working out for you, my suggestion is that you, is one, that you change what you're doing and two, is that you educate yourself on what you should be doing so that you're not just randomly doing whatever and hoping for a result that you wanna have, right? I call it like the hope and pray method of dating, which is like, hey, I hope things work out, you know, and you go out there and things don't work out and it happens over and over and over again. You're like, I don't know why things aren't working out, right? And so my suggestion, my suggestion is that you go get Camille's book. It's called The Offline Dating Method and it's on Amazon and it'll give you everything you need to know to go out there and start meeting good men. So go, go get the book. Go get the book. I can't recommend it highly enough. Thanks. I also, if the book's too much of a leap, I also have a three-day challenge. So we can go to offlinedatingmethod.com and join that. Whatever is your next baby step to get these tools? Yep. Okay, so Emma says, I just met a great single guy at the market. So far we are both, we both are amazed at how much we have in common. See, anywhere can happen anywhere. It's exactly what we're talking about. Okay, what else do we have here? What about too much eye contact? Too much eye contact? Too many eye contact? I don't know what that means. I don't know. If you're too good at eye contact, that's a great problem to have. I actually have that problem now and I have to remember to break the gaze so that I don't just like creep people out. And I used to be afraid of eye contact so you can totally get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely, there's two sides to things, right? One of the things that I talk about is kind of the different, I'm trying to be on camera here, the different sides of things, right? And most people start on one side or the other, right? And it's with everything. It's with everything that you do, right? Like you're, you know, like you are a little bit too aggressive. You're not aggressive enough, right? Like you, I don't know, compliment a man too much. You don't compliment a man enough. I don't know. There's a whole bunch of them. I actually have a list of all the extremes that you can run into. And the magic's in the middle, right? Like the magic is in kind of whenever you're learning to do anything. And it's not just like, you know, making eye contact with men, where it's like, you know, you're like looking down at first, right? And you're like, oh, we're not gonna make any kind of contact at all. Like, you know, shade my eyes, right? Sunglasses on, like I sometimes see women wearing sunglasses at the subway station, like inside, underground, you're like, what are you doing? Like, this is crazy. And, you know, and the other side is like, you know, staring dudes down and stuff. It might be a little bit crazy. I saw this woman the other day I was walking and I saw this woman, I like looked over at her and she was like, you know, just staring at me. And I was like, I looked away and I looked back at her and she was still staring at me. And I'm like, that is weird. I'm not sure what's going on there, but it's a little bit too much for me. So ex my heart and hope says, should we say hello first or just give them the green light with a smile? Because isn't that kind of like pursuing if we speak first? No way. No, that's just giving, I mean, you know, by saying one word, like you're not pursuing anything. You're opening up that door for him. You're allowing him to step through, but even if you make the first move, who cares? And in the end, like when you're getting married, are you really gonna be like, God, you know, I wish I hadn't made the first move. Who cares? Yeah. And, you know, he probably won't even remember that you made the first move, right? Unless it's like really bold and dramatic. I mean, a lot of times women are making the first moves, right? You're making the first moves by making eye contact or by getting into kind of his space or whatever. And so, and I just want to speak to the idea of making the first move real quick. One of the things that I talk about is creating invitation and creating invitation is very, very powerful and feminine way of doing things. Like, it's not a big deal if you create an invitation for a man to come into your space. It's not, you're not pursuing a guy. You're not chasing a guy down or something. You're giving, you're opening a door. Like Camille said, you're saying, hey, here's a space for you to come into, right? For you to come and do the pursuing. For you to come in and do the chasing. And so you're not chasing him, right? That's another one of the extremes that we were just talking about, right? It's like, a lot of women are like, oh, I need to lean back and be in my feminine energy and not chase. That means I'm going to ignore him. And the only time that I will ever contact him is if he contacts me, but not for two days after he contacts me. And you're just like, where did you get this information from? You know, like, I don't know. You know, it's just, yeah, I mean, seriously, it's coming from somewhere else other than me. I can tell you that much. Cause I would never ever recommend that anybody does that. Yeah. I mean, it's, no, it's not chasing. It's totally cool. It can be very attractive if you do it in the right way. And so I don't think it's a problem at all. No. And it's very feminine to be receiving, you know, but to like be running away, that's not feminine. It's feminine to be present and receiving and let him come to you, but to make it safe for him. He's human too. It's not like guys have it all figured out. And by the way, guys think that, a lot of guys think that women have it all figured out. No one has it all figured out. That's why Matthew and I are talking right now and giving different perspectives from the different genders is everyone needs a little bit of help. And you don't know what people have been through. That man that you, that the example that we gave about, you know, half an hour ago, the guy making eye contact in the coffee shop, maybe he just had his heart shattered in a million pieces and could not risk coming up to you and taking a chance of, you know, being rejected again. We don't know people's story. So have some compassion that everyone's going through something right now. Help each other out. I mean, it'll feel good for you in the moment. You're not playing games. You're just making it easy for the fellow human who might be interested in you too. Right. And kind of going back to the other idea that we're talking about before as well, which is like, don't have like, get rid of your expectations around it, right? Get rid of your, your attachment to something that you want happening and just turn it into kind of this fun thing that you're experiencing. It's like, Hey, here's the deal, right? There's this guy that's over there and you're attracted to him. And if you don't go over there and do something or you don't make a first move or you don't make eye contact or you don't try something, that guy's probably gonna leave your life and you'll never ever seem again for the rest of your life. So what do you have to lose, right? The only thing that you have to lose is maybe your pride or your comfort or something like that. And so, you know, it can kind of feel scary just even talking about that right now, which is why we talked in the beginning, when Camille was talking in the beginning about how you can kind of build up to things instead of just like making it this big thing that you gotta like, okay, it's here, it's here, it's now, this is the moment, we gotta make it work, right? So it's like, you know, when you do it a lot, all of a sudden your attachment goes away and it's like, which is why I talk about abundance, right? This is part of abundance. If you have, if you're talking to a lot of people, you'll be in a world of abundance because then it's not, I have to make this one interaction work. There's a lot of interactions that I can have all the time. And so it's not as big of a deal. Yes, I love that. And another tip that I give is simply talk to people like you're already friends with them. I call this the Ellen effect after Ellen DeGeneres because she does this. You don't, like it could be someone she just met, it could be someone she's known for 30 years. She talks to them the same way. So if you're worried about what to say to a guy or, you know, you're feeling pressure, literally say to him in that moment, whatever you would say to your best friend if he's holding some cereal. You know, oh, I haven't tried that cereal, is it good? It make the conversation like so small, the risk so small, like if he's like, yeah, it's good and walks away, you're like, all right, cool, not a big deal. Just very casual and comfortable. And to Matt's point, when you do this over and over again, you're not even gonna remember those interactions except for the ones that progress to the next stage, which is getting into a more meaningful connection, which we can get into a little bit later after we look at some more questions, but keep the risk in the script the same, very small. Yeah, for sure. And you can even use like one of the things that I teach is kind of having, having just like some kind of generic thing that you say. So if you're like, if you're in a situation where you're like, oh, I can't think of something to say right now, you have kind of this like thing that you can just say, right? And the best ones in my opinion are questions. And so have a question that you can ask. And in my opinion, the best one is an either or question where you walk up and let's say you're from the South and it doesn't have to be something amazing or anything, but let's say you're from the South and you're living in the South and you like are talking to a guy or a guy approaches you or whatever, right? Anytime you're in an interaction with a guy, you can throw this question out there and it'll just make the conversation linger a little bit longer, no matter what. Cause a lot of times the biggest problem that a lot of guys have is the walk up and that's like the hardest part for them. So they think they're done, you know? And they're like, hey, and then they just realize that they have nothing to say to you, right? And they're just like, you know, and you're like sitting there like, yeah, what's up? You know, and he's like, I didn't think about this part. Yeah, like I didn't think fast in me saying hi. And so you have something to say, right? Like let's just make up, I'm gonna use a stereotype for the South, but let's say that you're like, so you have this question, you're like, you're like, hey, now that you're talking to me, let me ask you a question real quick. And this is something that's very, very important to me, something that my friends, we've been arguing about for a while now and I'm trying, I need a man's perspective on this. Which one is better? Sweet tea or apple pie, right? And it's not, you know what I mean, it's not like some kind of genius question or anything. It doesn't really even matter what he says and then you can say why, right? And then he says what he says and then you can say whatever you say. And that'll give you both time to kind of like get comfortable with each other and come up with a new thing to say to each other and all that kind of stuff. And so having like just something that you have to say, just, you know, in default can be a really powerful thing as well. I think that's great. And I think if you happen to freeze in that moment and you can't remember that question, a really good go-to question is simply, how's your day going? And then that can like, you know, people can answer with as much or as little information as they want to. And it's a simple casual question. If they're like, it's good, thanks. See you later. Again, you're not gonna feel rejected. It's just like, all right, see ya. Yeah, yeah, totally. Another one is what are you up to right now? What are you doing? Like what are you up to right now? Where are you headed? Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Oh, yeah, I'm buying groceries. Oh, yeah, I am too. Is this awkward? Do I feel awkward? What should I do with my hands? Yeah, I mean, it's... I love that movie. Oh my gosh, I love that you just quoted that. Talladega Nights or anyone watching. Okay, so Debra says, what are your views about the difference between online dating as opposed to trying to find places to meet someone? Well, I mean, I think it's pretty clear what you're, you're a big... Go ahead, go ahead, Camille. Go ahead, say what you have to say. Well, I mean, online dating and apps can totally work. I mean, I've been to weddings of friends who met online. And so in my book, and what I talk about is not so much bashing them, but more of like pulling back the curtain on what's going on. I mean, they're designed to keep you addicted. They're designed to keep you single. They want you as a customer. So they bring out the worst in people. It's been like studied and researched. So just know what you're playing with when you go online. And if you're not having fun with it, you probably shouldn't be online because the energy you're bringing there, if every time you, you know, match with someone or get a message, you're like, oh God, what's this one gonna be? Get off of there. But at a minimum, if you're like, yeah, online's fun. Sometimes I go on a swipe, whatever. Minimum, do that and meet guys offline. Do not put all your eggs in the online basket. Yeah, totally, totally agree. Liz says, a lot of these comments are negative. Start with thinking positive and work on yourself. I am work, I am work in progress myself. Just have fun and be playful. Yep. Love it. That's right. So Liz says, I'm working on my body to feel sex here and it builds my confidence. Yeah. Awesome, Liz. So Mariam says, hi Matt and Camille, how to meet guys if you live in another culture and you are not a bar drinking culture. That's great. The daytime game is even more important here. And depending on your culture, of course, there's certain cultural norms and appropriate things that have to be taken into consideration. But bottom line, if you wanna connect with people in person, there are other people around you who want to also do that. So always be aware of the cultural norms and laws and things like that. But if you want to say something to the person next to you, there's probably other people within an arms reach that want the same. So permission to do that as long as it's safe and you feel good about that. Okay, so Julie Tree says, my barrier is I'm terrified of people I have been sexually harassed in the past. I pretty much stay hidden. Julie Tree, sorry to hear that. I mean, first of all, hopefully you've gotten some help around that because that is something that definitely needs to be worked through in order for you to be ready for someone to approach you because even the most wonderful of men, if he comes up to you and tries his best and to make you feel safe, if you're not ready for him, it's not going to work. So I would say that's the first step. And then the next step would be if you have, you're kind of in a place where you're ready to be open to someone, do what Matt and I were talking about and just start small, start with women if you're terrified of talking to men, talk to only men that you feel safe around, listen to your feelings. That's going to be so important to you for you as opposed to forcing something just because you think that you should don't force anything, especially if you've been through what you've been through. Yeah, and just as somebody with really horrible social anxiety, one of the things that I want to kind of mention too is just kind of coming off of what Camille just said. And that's just really pay attention to what's going on with you. And it's one of those things where like a lot of people that are really social and they really kind of like just don't even understand why other people aren't social. A lot of times they'll be like, yeah, just go into a group of people and just have fun and just, you know, like what's your problem, right? And it's like, you know, if you do that, one of the things I've found is if I do that, like it'll become a problem for me. And so, you know, just kind of listen to yourself and be really in tune with where you are and what works for you and what doesn't work for you. And if you feel like you're getting to a space where you're like, you know, starting to get negative, starting to, you know, get down on yourself, starting to, you know, get angry about other people or whatever comes up for you from your social anxiety, then, you know, my suggestion is just that you, you know, kind of pull back and you listen to it and you allow yourself to get into a space and just be really, just be really good to yourself, you know, don't beat up yourself for not being like other people or don't beat up beyond yourself because it's not really easy for you or any of that kind of stuff because it, you know, for a lot of people, it's not really easy and doing that will only put you in a worse situation. And so what you want to do is make sure you're taking care of yourself and you're talking to yourself well and you are putting yourself into situations where you are going to thrive and flourish. And so it can be really valuable to kind of get present with how you interact and then find out, like one of the things that I figured out for myself, for instance, is like, I don't go, like I have friends that are like, hey, we're going to festivals, you know, and I'm like, I don't do festivals, man. Like that just doesn't work for me, you know? And so, like for me, what does work if I'm in a big crowd of people, like I will lose my mind after about an hour, hour and a half, hour, like I will just, I'll have to like go and sit somewhere by myself and like stare at a wall or something. And so one of the things that I found though that does work is if I have a friend with me and if I start feeling like that, I can just sit and talk just straight to the friend. And we just have a one-on-one conversation. And for some reason, being able to like just focus on one person, just it like relaxes me and it makes me feel like I'm not in this big kind of uncontrollable, overly excited kind of place. And it's, I don't know, that's kind of what works for me. And so my suggestion is that you just find whatever works for you. Yeah, I love that. I actually say that in my book. I love that you say the same thing in your material. Recreate a one-on-one interaction even if you're surrounded by a lot of people if that's what makes you comfortable. Well, there you go. So let's see, what else do we have here? So Jen says, I get shy when men flirt with me. I start to laugh a lot and men start to get the wrong idea, like their charm is working, but it's just that I am uncomfortable. How do I feel more comfortable? Oh, Jen, personal opinion, I would say that nervous energy needs to be channeled somewhere. Right now it's being channeled into you uncomfortably laughing. Try to channel it into questions or that's the first thing that came to mind. Or like, okay, something that I do is mm-hmm and without saying too much of someone's talking, I'll just kind of like mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and I show that I'm listening. So that kind of can get some energy out, but that nervous energy needs to be channeled somewhere. Maybe make it a focus of practicing your eye contact or making sure that you're smiling or be in movement if you can. If you're feeling yourself getting nervous, be like, hey, let's go for a walk or whatever, have an outlet for that energy so it doesn't come out in your laugh. That'll be a good first step for you, that I went through the same thing. Yeah, and just, I just wanna mention something else around kind of this whole idea of like being uncomfortable and being comfortable. And like, there's kind of this thing out there where they talk about like, if you want to be more comfortable, what you do is you get uncomfortable and then it's easier to be comfortable. And there's another kind of way to do things, right? And that is to create a world of comfort that you're in whenever you're doing something. And let me explain that because it probably sounds a little abstract. But for me, for instance, one of the things that I do is like, I do these live streams and stuff, right? And it's very, for me, it can be incredibly like anxious producing kind of craziness or whatever. And a lot of times I'll have notes, right? And so I'll like look at notes and you can even do this, like if you're out on a date and you're just like, okay, I don't even know what to do right now. I don't, you know, and so, you know, you have notes and it's like, okay, what are things to talk about, right? Cause when you get nervous and you get uncomfortable and you're just like, I don't have any idea what to do, right? And if you have things that you can talk about, if you have things that you can do, if you can have kind of things that like steer you in the right direction, that can kind of like create this thing for you to almost kind of grab a hold of so that you feel a little bit more comfortable in the certain situation. Cause you're like, oh, I already know what to talk about, right? I have these stories and there's a lot of people that kind of like hate on my whole idea of like have things to say, you know, and that are kind of pre-planned or whatever. However, for, at least for me and for a lot of people I know it just, it works. You know, it just works for you. If you're not just naturally social, if you don't know naturally what to say in my program, the forever woman, one of the things that I talk about in there is I have this list of all the different topics that you should talk about with a man. And it's like, if you run out of things to say, here are things that you can talk about. You know, one of the things is that whole thing with the questions that I was talking about where you're like, hey, this or that, right? That's a game that you can play forever, right? Cause you're like, oh, you know, what's, what do you like more? Coffee or tea? You know, like, what are you more into? You know, like watching sports or playing sport? I mean, you can literally do it forever about, you know, all kinds of different topics. And so, you know, in my opinion, that that's something that might help you as well. And so Jen says, also I tried my luck with a shy guy, but it's like pulling teeth. He was nice and I liked him, but he was making it so difficult to get to know him. How do you deal with shy men? How do you deal with shy men? Come here. Well, if it was me, I've actually met some men who ended up being boyfriends who were pretty shy in the beginning, but I could see there was depth there. Like maybe they just to your point, Matt, we're not super comfortable in the moment. There were a lot of people around. So I don't like to always take the lead with conversations as an introvert that can get exhausting for me, but I like to create that safe space just like we were talking about with approachability. I create that in a conversation. And that I do through asking genuine questions. And so that could be, what's the best part of your day so far? And just let them have an open-ended question that they can answer with as much or as little information as they want to. And that to me, that question like that, if a guy is shy, showing a genuine interest and meaning it as you say it, you have to mean it. You have to be genuine about it. It gives them the chance to open up a little. If he answers with two words, at that point, I know for me, he's probably too shy for me because I just can't carry the conversation that much. If you're an extroverted woman, maybe that guy's perfect for you. It's a good balance. But create that safe space, ask a genuine question that's open-ended and then see if he's able to open up. And if he's not, and then he may not be the guy for you, but at least you tried. Yeah, for sure, for sure. And again, I just wanna mention too, if you're serious, if you're watching this right now and you're serious about meeting a great guy in your life, make sure that you go and check out Camille's book. It's called The Offline Dating Method. You can get it on amazon.com. There's a link above or below this video depending on where you're watching it right now. So go check it out. And it's filled with great tips and tactics and everything that you need to know if you want to get approached by men in the real world. If you wanna have real dates, hopefully you want real dates and you're not just talking, you're not just trying to be a guy's pen pal or whatever on an app or something. And if you want those things, then you should go check out her book because it's got all the things that you need to know, especially if you're shy, if you're scared, got anxiety, if you're just like, I don't know what I'm doing. And you know, just yeah, just talk to me. Yeah, just get Camille's book. Go check out her website. What's your website again? OfflineDatingMethod.com. And that's also where my three-day tip is. Three-day challenges too. What was that? It's easy, offline dating method.com. Okay, so I was gonna say something on this one as well. Oh yeah, I was just gonna kind of re-emphasize Camille's point, which is if, not every guy's a match, right? And so I wouldn't get overly concerned about it. It's like, one of the things that I'm kind of reading in this, there's kind of a space to it. It's like, yeah, it's important to know what to do with a shy guy. If you run into that kind of situation and you really like the guy and you guys connect in a bunch of ways, but you know, there's kind of a shyness there. It's like, you know, from one standpoint, it might just not be a compatible match, right? Like, is this gonna be something that you're gonna deal with your entire life? Right? Like how long are you guys gonna be dating each other? And how long are you gonna deal with that, right? And another thing is a thing that you might wanna do, if you are very uncomfortable with silence, it's just getting comfortable with silence. And just enjoying it and just being like, yeah, we're in silence, it's no big deal, it's no big deal. Oh, Matthew, I love that you mentioned that that's chapter three of my book for so on the same page. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I was just telling Camille before we started going live, I'm like, yeah, I was reading your book. And it's like, everything you say in there is like something that I would say. I was like, we're totally on the same page. Yeah. It's probably that introvert like social anxiety like bond that we have going on here. I think so. Yeah, yeah. No, and it goes deeper too. Like you start small and that's what chapter one is, but then it goes into how to talk to people, how to ask meaningful questions. I mean, things that have served me across every area of my life, not just dating. So yeah, I feel like we're definitely on the same page and I think a lot of the women are gonna enjoy it. Okay, so meet need help says, that's an interesting name. My guy that I have been with for 14 years, he found someone new in the laundromat. That's nice. Amelia, did you wanna say something to that? Well, I was gonna say then he's not the guy for you. Like if, you know, then let him go. If that's what he wants, you deserve better than that. So time to hit the reset button, grieve for that and go find a man who is not gonna leave you for someone he met in the laundromat. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Amelia is, Amelia, I'm a, Emily, Emily says, my fiance is very jealous. I'm trying to be respectful, but I feel like it's becoming controlling. Well, why are you trying to be respectful when clearly he is not? And by the way, as someone who married someone who turned into an abuser, it's only going to get worse once you get married. So I think this is a red flag. I don't know your situation, but I will just say whatever's happening in the non-married part of your relationship is going to amplify times two or three in the married part. So if that's a red flag, please consider that. The fact that you've typed that in, I think is an indication that that needs to be looked at. I'm starting to hear that, Emily. So Fatima says, hi, how can I bring up that I have multiple sclerosis? So I would say that's something that it's gonna be personal to when you feel comfortable doing that. I don't think you need to say, hi, my name is Fatima and I have multiple sclerosis when you first meet someone. But I think probably the sooner, the better, because that's something that's gonna be on your mind as you're creating a connection with everyone is, I'm guessing, when they find this out about me, are they going to not want to be with me or see a future with me? So I think a good way to introduce that topic, frankly, and whenever the timing is right for you, but start by asking a question that when it's asked back to you, you can answer with your diagnosis. So a question that you could ask someone you're connecting with a potential partner could be, what's something that you're worried about right now? And it kind of gives them the chance to go first and then chances are whenever you ask a question of someone, they're gonna ask it back to you and then you can say, well, something that has happened to me is I was diagnosed with this condition and it's something that I think about. Try to keep it positive. Don't just lay it on there and see how he reacts. Try to maybe mention some things that you're doing around it or things that you're hopeful with it or silver lining. Maybe you met a wonderful support group and made some new friends in that. But that would be a good way to introduce that topic. And the timing of when I would say is up to you, but I mean, I would say sooner than later because otherwise you're gonna have anxiety about, oh, once I reveal this, I don't know what he's gonna do. So don't put yourself in that position. Yeah, and people respond to things in all kinds of different ways. I think the way that Camille was talking about bringing it up is brilliant and that's what you totally should do. And as far as like bringing it up, if I were you, I would do it often and early and just find out how somebody responds to it. And what I think you'll find is that it's not as traumatizing usually as you think it's gonna be and it'll be totally okay. Yeah, and I think also like thinking ahead to like what would someone, if someone learned that about you, what would their next questions be? Probably how does it affect you in your daily life? Because if they're picturing their life with you in any way, they would wanna know that. So maybe just talk about how you go through your day or the things that you've learned about it, things like that and then let them ask questions. Okay, so Brianna says, my last few breakups dealt with distance and differences. How do you find the one, especially with an abusive past? Do you wanna go mad or do you want me to? Well, I mean, yeah, go ahead, go ahead. I have plenty to say on it. Distance and differences. So I can see the, I can understand the distance. I'm not sure the difference is how do you find the one? I mean, that's, there's many paths to the one. You have to kind of find your own path with that. But if you didn't catch us earlier, Brianna, I have an abusive past as well. And so first step is to take care of that, make sure you're over that, learn the lessons of how that person came into your life and you read flags that you missed. So you don't repeat the same mistakes as a harsh word, but don't let someone like that into your life again. You can spot the signs. And I don't know, that's what I'll say on that, Matt, Matt, I'm curious what you wanna say. Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, what you asked, the question that you asked is like, you know, like how do I become a gymnast or something? It's like, it's such a big question, you know, that we could literally sit here and like, you know, my suggestion is that you make a study out of this one. And two, you know, like what Camille was saying, the first step really is to take care of your own stuff. Because if you don't end up healing, if you don't go through, you know, whatever your letting go process is for this, what you're gonna do is they have a kind of a phrase out there that's like, if you are, I'm gonna totally butcher this phrase. It's something like if you're cut and bleeding, you're gonna bleed all over other people, right? If you're still hurt, you're gonna hurt other people. And when I was in college, I was part of this thing that was like this, I used to be a motivational speaker. And so I would go and do these like speeches at like high schools and stuff. And we would talk about bullying. And one of the things about bullying was they say that bullies bully because they were bullied. And what that means is that when you're hurt, that's when you hurt other people and you don't do it because you want to hurt other people or you're malicious or you're a bad person. It's just because that you're trying to protect yourself and in the process of trying to protect yourself, what you end up doing is you end up hurting other people. And so you have these walls up, you have these kind of safeguards, you get triggered, you have all these different things that you end up doing when you're hurt. And all of us, you know, almost everybody I know has been through heartbreak. You know, most people that I know have things in their past where they've been hurt in some way. And so we all kind of have to go through this process of healing ourselves in, it's a maturation process, right? It's about maturing and growing as a human being and developing yourself and learning more about the world, learning more about yourself, you know? And it's so important to do the healing work. It's by far the most important thing that you can possibly do in your life because if you're not doing that, what that's gonna do is it's gonna be, it's gonna shade everything, right? When you're hurt, you wear glasses that shade the world around you so that you see things in a different way than not only how they are, but then how you want them to be or reality or even a healthy way, right? And so you'll see all these bad things and you'll be looking for bad things and you'll be creating problems and stuff where they don't exist. And then next thing you know, you know, it's one of those things where we talk about people have patterns, right? You'll end up having these patterns and you'll see these patterns that'll happen over and over and over again in your life and they will continue to happen over and over and over again in your life until you start like really fixing what's going on with you and healing those parts of yourself, you know, healing the wounded child within yourself and creating a space where you really kind of look at yourself and you value yourself and you love yourself and you take care of yourself and the best way to do that is to go through the healing process. So I don't know. Amen, great, great. I love it, great job. Amen, amen. Yeah, I hope I answered that question. So how do you find the one, you make study out of this stuff, make a study out of it. You go and buy Camille's book and you meet great men and you do go through the healing process. Yep. So Julie Cherry says, thank you man, Camille. Awesome advice. Welcome Julie. She also says, I have osteoarthritis but I still have a good heart. You know what, Julie Cherry, I've seen you on our live chats before Julie Cherry and if there's one thing I can say about you, I think it is that you have a great heart. So thanks for being here. And Julie, I have a juvenile idiopathic arthritis. So, you know, a lot of people are battling things that we just don't know. And so it's just part of who we are. It comes with the package. So yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Jen says, I think it's also the sexual tension I feel when talking to men, I am uncomfortable with chemistry, not building rapport. How do you deal with that? I would say getting comfortable being in your feminine. If there's something that's making you uncomfortable like tapping into your sexual side, then there might be something that you're blocking there and maybe that's because you were previously in a role where you had to kind of block that maybe a workplace situation where you want it to be a professional and not give off any signals of non-professionalism or something that might make your male coworkers interested romantically. I don't know. That's just an example. But you got to tap into that. And some ways to do that, it could be simple. It could be getting a massage, have it spritzing perfume, indulging in some dark chocolate. Something that's a sensory experience will get you out of your head and into your body and comfortable with that. And then the next thing that just came to mind, my mind and I'm just gonna say it, walk around your home naked, like get comfortable with your body and get settled into that because if you're not comfortable with that chemistry, you can't put that on someone else to try to help you overcome that in the moment that you just met him of helping you get comfortable with that part of yourself. Yeah, another thing I wanna kind of just add to that is one of the things that I've found that happens and why a lot of people can kind of be uncomfortable with the whole kind of like sexual tension thing and like there's this attraction and chemistry or whatever, right? It's there's a, what happens a lot of times where people feel uncomfortable with that is because they don't feel like they really are like deserving of it or they feel like it's not really meant for them or there's like some kind of like belief system around that where they're just like, I don't know if I'm okay with that. And one of the things that my suggestion is because it might be that it could be something else or it could be something completely different going on there and I can't really know, you can't, right? You can know and the way that you can know is for you to be present during those moments and to really kind of get in touch with yourself and just listen to the thoughts that start coming up in your head. Like what kind of thoughts come up when you're feeling uncomfortable in those situations? Cause if you're in those situations fairly often and you're still feeling uncomfortable every single time you're in those situations there's probably something else internally that's going on that you need to look at and you need to kind of pull to the surface and just see what's there and see what you're experiencing. And so that would be my suggestion is that you do that. Is that you make sure that you just kind of pay attention to what's going on with you and get into a space where you're present and aware of your mind and your emotions. And when you start doing that you'll be surprised at what will come up and then you can kind of work on those things. Yeah. Okay, so we're kind of running out of time here. Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about specifically Camille? Before we get going. I don't think so. I think these are all great questions and I'm glad we addressed kind of the mindset part. I mean, I guess the last thing would be that the key to getting a date in the real world cause that is my specialty is to create a meaningful connection with someone. And so we've kind of talked about a lot of the beginning parts of, overcome your past traumas, get comfortable with your body, change your mindset, talk to people casually and things like that. The next step to get a guy to ask you out in the real world is to ask questions that set up what could be potential date ideas together. And this could be, again, keeping it really simple. What are you up to this weekend? You know, any fun plans? What kind of food do you like in the city? Things like that. So once you're kind of off the icebreaker topic, you asked how's your day going or asked do you prefer sweet tea or apple pie or whatever it is, then get into the questions that will set up an activity together. And that creates a safe space again for if you ask what he's doing this weekend, he says tennis, you're like, I play tennis too. So much easier for him to be like, well, we should play together or you can suggest it. You play tennis, so do I. Let's go hit the ball around sometime. And so that's kind of my secret, the final step of getting a date in the real world. But really the foundation is creating a genuine connection with someone and overcoming your fears so you can be present in the conversation and really care about the person in that moment. Even if you met them 30 seconds earlier, find something interesting, find something to care about with them, people can feel that at a visceral level. Absolutely. All right, so again, I just wanna mention if you're really serious about getting into a great relationship with a great man, make sure that you go and check out Camille's book. It's called The Offline Dating Method. You can go get it at amazon.com. You can go check out her website. It's offlinedatingmethod.com. And check out more of what she's got going on. She's got great tips. She's got great information on exactly what you need to do, no matter what your kind of situation is, whether you're shy, whether you don't know what to say, whether you don't really go on that many dates. You know, whatever's going on with you, I recommend you go and check out her book. And it's, from what I've read so far, it's really amazing. I'm totally in alignment with everything that she talks about so far that I've read in the book. And so I recommend that you go and check it out. It's so far, I think it's just absolutely amazing. So that's, did you wanna say anything else? No, I think that's great. I've got free resources off that site, free challenge. So, you know, just, I just wanna help. So however I can do that is great. And thank you so much for this opportunity, Matt. This was wonderful. Yeah, thanks for being here. I really appreciate it. You have some really great advice. I, you know, we haven't really connected that much. And so I reached out to Camille last, last couple of days ago or something like that. And she was just, she happened to be launching this book. I didn't even know. And so it was perfect timing, it was totally cool. I really appreciate you coming on here and talking to everybody about this stuff. It was, it was a topic that I wanted to talk about. And I was like, oh, well, you know, Camille, she's wrote this book, it's perfect timing. Oh, yeah, we're on here. And so it's perfect. So yeah, I mean, thank you so much. Everybody that's watching us right now, thank you so much for being here. Really the purpose of my programs and this channel and everything that we're doing here is to help empower you to have the relationship that you've always wanted. And so that you can get into a relationship where you're loved and seen and absolutely cherished by a great, high quality man. And so thank you so much for being here today. I absolutely love you guys. You watching this right now, you are the best part of our community. So thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey in finding and attracting and creating the relationship that you've always wanted to have. So thank you so much for being here today. Again, I just wanted to throw out there, make sure that you go and get Camille's book. I mean, you guys can I pitch it? I don't know, not enough. Go get the book. It's important. You're gonna like it. It's got all the information. If you like me, you're gonna like her, I'm like trying to, you're gonna like her book. Okay? So go get her book. I'm sure. Yeah, so anyway, thank you so much for being here and I will speak with you again soon.