 Hey, everybody, we are so glad that you're here and if you're wondering where you are, I don't know. Yeah. Where are you right now? Just take a second. Are you on your phone? I'm waiting for them to nod. Are you in the car? Like, door to the Explorer, right? Would you like to tell us where you are? Because we'd love to know where you're from. Yeah. Where are you? That's not actually the start of the show, is it? Yeah. I'm listening to the listeners. Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, that's really interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This got weird. Okay. You just say, hey, I'm Jordan Burke and actually start the show. Hey, I'm Jordan Burke. And I'm Kristen Briella. And this is Saints and Sages, where we talk about the wisdom of the saints and how it's relevant for you. And we just had one of the most awkward intros we've ever had in our life. And if you'd like to view what that sounded like or watch us or listen to it, you're only going to catch that on behind the scenes, which is posted on spiritualdirection.com YouTube page. Thank you for that many advertisement, Jordan. Yeah. That's what I do. Today, we're going to be talking about a beautiful woman of God named St. Angela. St. Angela. The Cross. Yes. I thought we're going to continue through the whole way. You kind of stopped. All right. That's cool. These day, March 2nd. Yes. And she was actually born January 30th, 1846 in Seville, Spain. So we've got a Spaniard. And her name that she was born with is Maria de los Angeles, Guerrero, Guerrero Gonzales. Sound good. But they affectionately called her Angelita, which is so cute. Like, honestly, that's the cutest little nickname. And this one was interesting and you'll kind of hear why later because she ends up becoming or being called Mother Angela. And the whole time I was like, I kept thinking of Mother Angelica. Right. And so anyway, there's no relation there. Just a train of thought that Jordan had. Angelita. Inside scoop. Angelita. But yeah, her father worked as a cook in the convent of the Trinitarian Fathers and her mother worked also there doing the laundry for them. Go ahead. Tell them how many kids they had. So there were 14 children in total. Wow. And unfortunately only six of them reached adulthood, which is heartbreaking, but it's still a lot of siblings and little Angelita grew up with holy parents. Yeah, she really did. So good situation for her to start fresh. She also thankfully grew up with a really powerful spiritual director who was known to quote unquote make saints. And we'll get to that in a second. We will. I'm jumping ahead. Yeah. Continue. No, you keep going. She made her first communion at the age of eight and confirmed at age nine. So can I pause you there? Yeah. I'm very confused. I will fully admit my ignorance here. I know that we've talked about a lot of saints and they've all had different like ways that they partook and communion, Eucharist and confirmation. This, I think is the first time I've ever heard of somebody who made first communion at eight and when, and then was confirmed at nine. So this is the thing of the past that confirmation was actually earlier and closer to communion, if not at the same time, but not, I don't, I don't know when it changed, but it actually was not that long ago. Okay. Like only a couple hundred years. And so actually children would be confirmed unlike now where, well, it's still, they're still children, but it's usually more in the teens, children at age around then would have confirmation as well. Yeah. So that was normal. So she, she had the opportunity to finish all the sacraments. Yeah. Throwing off by the order of operations there. I think also our producer is going to look up and make me sound less stupid, but I'm fully admitting my ignorance to this talk. No, it's kind of confusing because we don't have confirmation until age like 15 now. Well, and also it's, yeah, you don't partake in the Eucharist until you're confirmed now. No. Jordan, Jordan. Am I making another blunder? Jordan, Jordan. Okay. All right. So let's explain. Remember when you were a child and you had first holy communion, you had your first confession. I don't remember that. Okay. So children go through first holy communion at the age of reason, which is around seven or eight years old depending on, you know, where they are. And so you, you have your first confession and then you have first holy communion and then you wait a period of time because you go through CCD classes, which is like Catholic education for children. And then at age like 14, 15, you, with a group of students usually, usually is how it is now have confirmation. Now back then I think they had a shorter period of time and confirmation happened around the same time as first holy communion. But like, when were you confirmed? I don't remember. You need to talk to your dad. You don't remember. I don't remember. Are you Catholic? Yeah. No, no, for sure. I'm kidding. I know you are. So, but no, this is good. So again, you know, okay, but there is a side note. If this is like basics, but okay. So apparently not. Sorry. You guys can trust us. I promise. We're Catholic. Apparently not for me is what I'm saying. But I am really not as a dual. I'm no measure of intelligence. So this is why I don't know much myself. But basically if you are an adult and you have not been baptized or you have not been received into the church, you can have baptism, first holy communion and confirmation all in one. And I'm sure you've heard of that. Yeah. After going through our say, that's what I was more familiar with. Maybe that's what you did. Quite possibly. Yeah. Because yeah. Well, I don't want to go into the history of it. Well, your dad's been converted to recent. Well, not until he was older. Yeah. And I was a teenager at the time. It's not about me, but that's hence my confusion. So next episode we're going to have to dive into that. But we'll move on from now. Listen, any time we can take my ignorance and turn it into a teaching experience, I'm all for it. People just want to know your life story. And it's okay not to know something. This is a learning podcast. I'm learning a lot. We are here to learn. So speaking of education. My name is not Sally. It's segue. Okay. I have been on a segue. It's super fun. But yeah. So she didn't have much education and she began working at a shoe shop as a little girl at age 12, which I don't know about you, but I was not working at age 12. It's pretty young to start working. And her employer at the shop, Antonia. Antonia Maldonado was a very holy woman. And she actually encouraged her to pray. And she taught her a lot about the lives of the saints and wisdom of the church. And this was really helpful for her. I had read that they had would either take breaks or during lunch or whatever it was. They would pray. They would all pray together and they'd all learn about the saints, which is pretty incredible. And I wish that that was more commonplace, but. I mean, it is for us, which is really neat. Here at the Alpha Foundation. Very unique situation. Yeah. I know we do pray and noon day prayer here altogether. The Liturgy of the Hours, which is very beautiful. Special. Yeah. I've never heard of that anywhere else actually. But yeah, so she began spiritual direction at age 16. Okay. If I had spiritual direction, a mentor at age 16, I was just like wondering where I'd be at this point because spiritual direction for me helped me leaps and bounds. Like I was able to progress a little bit more. Not much. I'm still really behind, but just a little bit better with a spiritual director's help. I mean, truly it's very helpful. Every Frodo needs a Gandalf as hard to describe it. Absolutely. I mean, you can't reference. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, think about it. You're, you're, you're on a journey and you ultimately have to take this journey yourself, but you need a guide. Especially if your parents didn't teach you in the ways for sure. You should go a spiritual director. Everybody uses for your director. You don't have one. This is the way. Is that what you're going to say over there, Maggie? All right. This is not the way. I know, I know Tolkien. I don't know anything about Star Wars, thankfully. So it's too much. But anyway, so back to the show. Jose Torres Padilla of Seville. I'm not Hispanic. You could see that by my white coloring, which is, I just, I'm partly Hispanic, which is why I get a kick out of here and you read it. It's really entertaining. So yeah. So she was 19 years old and she was asked to enter. She asked to enter the Disgales Carmelites in Santa Cruz, but was refused, which if we could pause there because that kind of refusal, we've talked about it with other saints like St. Edestine. That's agonizing because if you know you want to serve the Lord in such a beautiful, holy way of being in a community and being told no, how heartbreaking. Yeah. I guess it's similar in the vocation of marriage. Like if someone, if you ask someone to marry you and they're like, no, thank you. No. Maybe. No, he wouldn't marry you. No. With that. Not to joke about that because that is actually crushing. I was going to ask, I could not for the life of me find anything about what her health issues were. Were you able to stumble across any of that? No. That's interesting. No, I didn't. It just kept saying that she was frail, that she was ill. She had poor health and it didn't say specifics. So maybe our listeners could find that out. That would be great. I'm curious. I mean, it doesn't take away from the story at all, but I am curious just because we've, my curiosity comes in comparing to other saints, not in comparing is in comparing and contrasting, but just the stories and the similarities between the stories. Cause as you said, we've had multiple saints, women in particular who all obviously trying to become nuns and were stopped. We're not allowed. And more often than not, it's because of health issues. Although with Saini design, it was more, if I remember correctly, spiritual. Was it not where her director said, no, no, no, you got to wait. No, no, no. Well, that really gives me pause and it can be kind of unsettling if you think about the fact that sometimes we have to suffer. And in that suffering, which is totally out of our control, like I didn't want to have knee surgery. I didn't want to have a bad knee and cartilage that was fractured, but it happened to me. No one, I didn't ask for that. And when you suffer, it's not like you're asking for it. It's like, okay, let's suffer. Some saints did, but yeah, I get what you're saying. But for that, which is already out of your hands, out of your control to impact, like what you know you're called to in life, I feel like it's suffering layered upon suffering. Or what you deeply desire to, you know, because what she desired to enter into this combat, however, it wasn't God's plan for her. So she had to endure the suffering to be moved to where he needed her, which was, which we'll get to. I don't want to jump ahead again, but yeah. I mean, you know, folks have talked about uniformity with God's will. God either allow or permits it or desires it permits it, permits it or desires it. I'm, it's been a long day. I'm losing caffeine here, but basically it's, no, I'm sorry, willed or permitted. Yeah, he allows it to happen. Yeah. And yeah, having those moments of suffering, I read about it a lot where it's you, you embrace it and you give it to God and you surrender and you say, I don't understand, but I'm also not God. And I, it's not for me to understand. It's for me to trust and it's for me to surrender because I know what he said and I know that it's good and to deny myself in the suffering and to offer it up and to trust is what is required. And then do the right next thing, which is exactly what Angelita did. Because instead of being like, what was me crying in her bedroom? She went out and started to assist and care for the destitute and the poor and some patients who were suffering from the cholera epidemic, which was quickly spreading among the poor actually. And so she then decided to try again. And in 1868, she did enter the convent. They let her in with the daughters of Charity of Seville, although she was still very ill. Yeah. And so I wonder what the second round was about. Like, why did they say yes the second time? Who knows? Well, they were different, different orders. Maybe that was it. And maybe she, maybe she healed during that time. I mean, she's also serving. And so she's exhibiting some form of health in that way. You know, but anyway. Yeah. So she was actually not there very long. I don't believe because she left the novitiate and went back home to work at the shoe shop again. So she had to leave in 1873. She, she made private vow and she actually saw a vision during prayer. And the vision was that there was an empty cross standing directly in front of the one that Jesus was hanging on. And if you think about having this vision, if you were to close your eyes and to be able to see that, and I'm sure it was really real for her. Really real. But she saw that. And it touched her. She understood that God was asking her to hang from the empty cross in front of her and to be poor with the poor in order to bring them to Jesus. And that's the cross that she had to bear as well. And she recognized that that vision was for her. Like she needed to do that. She needed to suffer alongside of Christ in front of him, but she, that he was going to be behind her. And so she wrote a diary in her free time and was able to journal all of this was just kind of how we know while in between working at the shoe shop. But imagine that desire again, being kind of stripped from her, like she wanted to be a nun. Yeah. But then she had to take a step back and go back to the shoe shop. Yeah, that's a good point. She had a taste of what she desired and again had to exit away and give that up and surrender it. And that you can imagine. I mean, it's. Heartbreak game. Yeah. It's really hard to be rejected in that way. And so on August 2nd, 1875, three other women actually joined Angelita in community life. And together they lived in Seville and they had a room in a house on San Luis street. And they kind of made it into their little convent. And so she was like, you know what? I can't go out and do this, but I'm going to bring it here and have it established on my own. Yep. And two of the two of the three women were poor like she was. And one of them actually had money and because of that they were able to get the room in the first place specifically with the kitchen because that's one of the ways that they serve before. And I think that was a gift from either a priest or some church authority. I don't know. Someone donated that money, which is really generous and it allowed her to start the sisters of the company of the cross, which was the sisters assisted the poor like you said, and they were also contemplative and silent prayer when they weren't serving the poor. So it was prayer and service. And unfortunately in 1876, when Seville was hit by an epidemic of smallpox, the sisters had a lot of work to do, like so much work that they needed help. And they were assisting those afflicted and those less fortunate, those who are struggling with the disease. And so they actually founded a second community in 1877 in Yutrera and then another community a year later in Ayamante. So like convent after convent started being established and 23 convents were established in her lifetime. What? Yeah. No, I mean, she was a shoemaker. I thought it reminds me of, oh gosh, I can't think of her name. American Saint. Saint Elizabeth and Seaton. Yes. Thank you. I read your mind. Apparently. Who did something very similar. Who just following the call of God and saying, I will do what you want of me and what happens. It's blessed and it grows. Well, because it didn't look like what she thought it was going to be. She thought she was supposed to be with the other sisters and pray with them amongst them. But the Lord had something bigger in mind and like she could not have projected that. Had she not first said, okay, Lord, I come to do your well, say no to her initial desires. And it was through her frailty. Like that's the coolest part. It was through her weakness that she was like, I can't do this. And then other people joined her and that's how it grew. And then sadly, she died March 2nd, 1932 at 86 years old. She died of a stroke and then in corrupt. Supposedly. Supposedly. Her body is in corrupt. Pretty cool. That is really cool. That's always really neat. You don't see that outside the Catholic church. Speaking of, I know we're going back to another episode, but just throwing that out there. And then JP to be edified her in 1982 and she's canonized in 2003. Now, what can we learn? What can we learn from this holy woman? I got a question for you. Oh, I'm scared. You ready? Not getting your way. How do you respond in those moments? And you may be laughing because I'm literally reading your notes. Jordan. She typed this question. That was my note. Well, it is something that you got a partner after reading all that because she clearly didn't get her way. And like having to work at a shoe shop after being denied because of her, her sickness. And then she thought she was going to serve the Lord and do like this highly honored thing of becoming a sister and then it couldn't. But then later on was able to develop 23 convents with the help of the Lord. Like, how do you respond in those moments? I have because for me, I can tell you. You can answer the question. How do you respond now? And I'm not going to give specific details or dated date this show. But at the time I'm requesting something very specific in my personal life. And it is very personal. There's a lot of emotion involved. But I have gone to the cross and I have said, Lord, I surrender surrender this to you. This is what I am asking only if it is in accordance with your will. If it is not in accordance with your will, please help give me the strength and the wisdom to maintain and move on and move forward through this. Because either way, what what's the only thing that matters serving God? Would it be would it stink if my request was denied for sure? It will really be kind of, I wouldn't say devastating, but very painful. So what? So what? Do the harder thing, right? You said the do the next right thing. I always say do the harder thing. It's what you got to do. You got to continue to serve Christ and you have to mainly what I'm getting at is that you have to trust again, it's either willed or permitted, uniformity with God's will. Everything is either willed or permitted. God either wants it for you or is allowing it for to happen. For your salvation or salvation of other souls. Precisely. And that's where we can have confidence when we don't get our way. Yep. Because even though it's agonizing in the moment and you're like, seriously? Or at least I hear me like, really God? Like I wanted this. And I feel like a whiny baby a lot of times with the Lord of Prayer. I kind of am sometimes. Like mint. Well, and look, it's important to note too, it's not to deny the emotions involved. Because like right now there's a there's a little bit of anxiety that I've been battling and a little bit desolate. Well, more than a little bit of desolation that I'm battling as well. And it's not to deny that because we're human. And we go through this. And I, you know, obviously going on a deeper level spiritual warfare, rejecting and all that kind of stuff. But I'm also what I'm getting at is. That doesn't mean that you I'm not a robot. I can't just say either God wills it or permits it and be okay. No, there's still suffering involved. But it's following what the saint did. I'm saying, OK, this stinks. What's the next? What's the next thing that I can do? Well, that's the key is bringing it back to the Lord. Yeah, because we are not called to turn in on ourselves, you know, and kind of folds. What is it? Throw in the towel, you know, or like fold the cards. You are to persevere in faith, trusting that our savior is going to lead and guide us through whatever trial we may face or whatever no we may have received or whatever job interview that we're rejected or whatever it may be in your life that you wanted and you didn't get like there's purpose behind it and to trust the process. Well, and how many times have you in serious question, how many times in your life have you gone periods of time and then looked back and said, oh, now I see why that happened in the moment really sucked. Looking back, it's like, oh, this is so clear why this happened. God clearly had a plan for me. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I've been moments after moments. Numerous, right? Absolutely. And if you're listening, you're like, I've never experienced that. You're gonna wait it out. It'll come. This is a universal thing. You know, Maggie's shaking her head over here too. Every single person has experienced it where it's like, I don't get it. Like this sucks, right? Why is it happening? I don't understand. And then you look back later and the most beautiful thing is when you really start to see like I've noticed on even a less spiritual sort of level or less spiritual importance and level where it's like, oh, I see why God had me enter that program in high school and do this sort of thing because it's actually, it didn't go anywhere then, but it's helping me now in my current mission, right? In my job or I didn't know where this was going, but oh, it's helping me now. So that's what we're getting at. God is in control. You gotta trust and you gotta just say, okay, well, that door is closed. What's next? How do I serve? How do I live out these virtues? And I think it's really just a matter of believing that the Lord has something great in store for each of us. And when he closes that door, there's a reason. Maybe there's a fire burning on the other end or a cliff that you're about to jump off of. And just trusting that God's got something greater and better for us. We have to believe that. Otherwise it's going to be hard when we don't get our way and there's going to be just kind of like a floppy feelings about it, you know? But when we press in and say, okay, Lord, I feel really blind right now. Don't know where life's taking me. I trust you. That's where we can really be used the most. Yes. You know, by the Lord. Big time. That's where we can really serve and worship him. And why? Because we are relinquishing control and saying, I'm a dummy. You know, Lord, you take over because you know what's best. And there's so much freedom in un-surrender as counterintuitive as that may sound to some people who are like, no, no, no, no. I want to know what's going to happen next. I want to be in control. Trust me. I understand you. But let me tell you how much freedom is on the other side when you take the wheel and literally mean it. There is so much freedom there. And that's something I really struggle with is letting go because I sometimes just want to have that control. And I know the Lord wants to take the wheel there. And those are the sweetest moments when I finally like, I'm grasping, grasping, grasping, grasping. And then I'm just like, okay, I've got to give this up because when God is leading, things are a lot smoother. So much smoother. So much smoother. And it's really worth it. And it's just, even though life is not necessarily easier, it's just a lot more. There's a lot more liberation because the Lord leaves us to paths that are quiet and restful and rejuvenating. And we can be assured that He will always lead us to green pastures and by still waters. He says this in Scripture. And so many other things He says too. There's plans. There's always been plans that He had planned out for you before you were even conceived. I mean, these are facts. These are truths written down in Scripture that you can believe. So. And just knowing that the obstacle and letting go, like, it's those moments where the Lord's going to come in and He always does. He's faithful and He will reveal in His time, or maybe He won't. Maybe it'll be not on the side of Heaven, His plans. But He wants us to know that we can trust Him in those ways that are the hardest. And all of this is temporary. True. Heaven is eternal. Pain is temporary. Heaven is eternal. Because Angelita didn't get her way, but she became a saint and she was canonized. So there you go. And speaking of this awesome saint who is dropping so much wisdom on us today, you have a quote. I have a quote. Would you like to share that quote with us? Sure. The nothing keeps silent. The nothing does not want to be. The nothing suffers all. The nothing does not impose itself. The nothing does not command with authority. And finally, the nothing and the creature is practical humility. Do we need to post that? Because that could confuse everybody. Maggie was like... Maggie was confused. So I was like, is everybody confused? Because I feel like you have to read that probably five to ten times to completely to clearly understand. You can kind of meditate on it. I like it. That being said. She's talking about humility though. Yes. And being nothing. Can we like explain a little bit? Like being humble is keeping silent. Being humble is not wanting but letting the suffering occur and not imposing itself. But it's... Yeah. It's humility. And that's really hard to endure. But it's worth it. Which is one of the reasons it's hard to understand. Because Christ is truly humble. And we can see him. He's our model for pure humility. And we should pray for that. And don't be afraid to pray for humility. Don't be afraid of it. I know that sometimes that's kind of like a thing. People are scared to pray for this. I know I have been. But that's where true saints are made, right? Is being humble. It is. You're really afraid to ask our lady for humility because she's a lot kinder about it. Not that Jesus isn't kind but it's a lot softer of a blow. She has deep humility. She understood it. Saint Angelita of the cross. That's cute. You called her by her nickname. Pray for us. Pray for us.