 Dennis Day is brought to you by Colgate Dental Cream and Luster Cream Shampoo. Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Luster Cream Shampoo for soft, glamorous, dream girl hair. The Dennis Day Show with Barbara Eiler, B. Benadera, John Brown, Charles Dant in the orchestra, and yours truly, Vern Smith is written by Frank Galen and stars our popular young singer in A Day in the Life of Dennis Day. Here's Dennis to sing, let's pick up where we left off. While it cleans your teeth, no other toothpaste does a better job of cleaning teeth than Colgate Dental Cream. For Colgate Dental Cream has a safe polishing agent that cleans your teeth both gently and thoroughly, brings out their natural sparkle and beauty. You can actually see and feel the difference. And scientific tests prove that Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. 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Well, our young hero, Dennis Day, even more so than most of us at this time of year, is face-to-face with a dilemma of Christmas presents. There are three questions confronting him. What should he buy? Who should he buy at four? And for heaven's sake, what with? In particular, he's concerned about a gift for the head of the Anderson household, his present landlady and prospective mother-in-law. And since this requires thinking, he's wasted no time and gone directly to his girlfriend, Mildred, for help. A present for mother? Well, you don't have to get her anything too grand, Dennis, to fire something you can afford. That's the trouble. They don't sell them that cheap. Don't sell what? Name it and they don't sell them that cheap. But, Dennis, you must have some money. You've been saving up out of your salary for months. Yeah, I know, but an emergency came up Monday afternoon that wiped out half of my savings. An emergency? Yeah, I got a little hungry and bought myself a hamburger. Well, you'll simply have to do the best you can, then. After all, it isn't the gift so much. It's the spirit behind it that counts. Well, I wish your mother knew that. I didn't like her suggestion at all. Her suggestion? You mean you asked mother and she told you what to get? Sure. What? Lost. I'm sure she didn't mean it. It's just that she's been so preoccupied lately with all those meetings and her campaign and the speech she's... Say. Huh? Listen, you know about mother being an S-O-W, don't you? Mildred, I might think it, but I'd never say it. She stands for Socialites of Waverville. It's the club she belongs to. Oh. And she's running for president. Look, she's worried to death about the campaign speech she'll have to make. If you could ride her one that would get her elected... Mildred, what are you saying? I'm saying that would be the nicest Christmas present you could possibly give her. What a speech! Dennis, there's nothing to it. All you have to do is put words in my mother's mouth. Boy, that's really carrying colds to Newcastle. Dennis, I know you can do it. You write very well and after she reads what... Oh, good morning, mother. Good morning, Mildred. Dennis. Good morning, Mrs. Anderson. Oh, mother Dennis has the most wonderful surprise for you. We can't tell you what it is yet, but it's going to make you the happiest person in the world. Why, Dennis, you darling! But where on earth did you find a vacancy? Oh, I'm not moving, Mrs. Anderson. This is something you'll really love, mother. And I think Dennis realizes now how important it is. Don't you, Dennis? I'll say. I'll see you later, Mildred. Well, mother, how's your campaign going? Oh, just perfectly, Mildred. Do you know I'm getting so confident I've even bought myself a gavel? Oh, really? Yes, and I've been practicing with it all week, banging it on the bureau and telling your father he's out of order. I'm really glad you're so hopeful. Oh, I don't see how I can lose now. Mrs. Alsberg has decided to back me, you know. So Mary's wife? Oh, that's marvelous. Yes, she's giving a tea for me tomorrow, and that isn't all. She's invited Arthur Phillips, the famous author. Oh, that's simply terrific. That means everyone will be there. Yes, and he'll be introduced as my protégé. I just couldn't choose a better time to make my campaign speech. Oh, if I only had it written. Oh, well, don't worry, mother. It will be. Maybe someone will help you with it. What? Who? Oh, someone who knows exactly how you speak. It isn't your father, is it? Remember, I'm addressing ladies. Forget about it and concentrate on getting more votes than Mrs. Hastings. Yes. Oh, won't it be wonderful if I'm elected? Me, your little mother, the biggest S-O-W in the whole time. Mildred, Mildred, I've got it. It's all done. The seat? Yeah, I went down to the public library and stayed up all night writing it. And it's really good? Oh, it's magnificent. It's a speech that Washington or Lincoln or Jefferson might have delivered. In fact, they did. Well, Mildred, I couldn't trust my own brains for this. There was too much at stake, so I borrowed things from all the great speeches of history. My goodness, that's marvelous. What an idea. Yeah, and look who it occurred to. You never know, huh? Oh, it's wonderful, but I've got to hear it right away. Oh, Mother, would you come into the living room a minute? What is it, Mildred? Mother, get ready for your big surprise. Your campaign speech is all written for you. Dennis wrote it. Dennis? Yeah. Dennis Day wrote, Mildred, I'm your own mother. Blood must be thicker than this. Wait, Mother. It's all these. Give him a chance to read it to you. I'm... Oh, very well. Go ahead, Dennis. Only it better be good. Oh, it is, Mrs. Anderson. Listen, here's the way it starts out. Or score in seven years ago when I was born. But it's such a beautiful phrase. I hate to lose it just because of a year or two. I'll head with the rest of it. We'll change that later. Okay. Ladies, we are met today upon this battlefield. Battlefield? Young man, this is a meeting of my women's club. Yes, ma'am, but I was home the last time you held a meeting here and from what I heard... Never mind what you heard. Dennis, maybe you better skip to the body of the speech. Well, all right, that's the part where you state your platform. In quick succession, you call for the abolition of slavery, support the Monroe Doctrine, and remember the Alamo. That's my platform, is it? Yes, ma'am. Then you hit him with your campaign slogan. My campaign slogan? Yeah. Tipper Canoe and Anderson too. It'll be interesting to see what they hit me with. Oh, no, she finishes up by promising the chicken in every pot. That's nice. Yeah, and then you throw in a little joke like speakers always do. You say, and speaking of a chicken in every pot, I notice that each of you little chickens sure has a little... Dennis! But what's the matter? Is it off-color? You better get to the conclusion. Oh, yeah, wait till you hear that. Boy, is it traumatic. She cries out, I am dying, Egypt dying. And with that, she pulls out an adder and lets it bite her. Can I let an adder bite me? Oh, not a real adder, of course. That might sting. You can have a worm stuck down your dress. And that's the speech you've written for me. Why, Mrs. Anderson, you don't like it. It's no use denying it. I can see it in your face. I thought you might. It needs work, Dennis. I suggest you go someplace and work on it. Go someplace? Yes, like outer Mongolia. And don't come back. She was yesterday, she despised me, and today our relationship has deteriorated. Now don't you worry, Dennis. From what she told me, she'll get the president even without your campaign speech. Well, I'd better get her some kind of Christmas present to square myself. Looks like I'll have to brace Mr. Willoughby again for an advance. I wish you were coming along. Me? What for? Well, you know my boss. While I'm bracing him, who's going to brace me? Morning, Mr. Willoughby. Good morning, Dennis. Oh, Mr. Willoughby, there's something I got to talk to you about. You see, it's this way... Business has been terrible. This is the worst month in ten years. Can't pay the rent on the verge of bankruptcy. If something doesn't happen, we'll have to close up the store. Huh? Sorry, did I interrupt you? No, I didn't know it, but I was through. Hey, Dennis, I've never seen our business as bad as it is. And I don't understand why, either. I think it's because we're getting fewer customers and they don't buy as much. That sort of thing is bound to be felt, you know. Why, George, you've got something there, my boy. And I can't wait till you take it away. Anyway, the fact remains that I can't make ends meet anymore, and I've cut my overhead to the bone. I know. In fact, the only thing I haven't cut is your salary. See? Please, Mr. Willoughby, let's not tamper with the bone. What this store really needs is a publicity angle, something to get us talked about all over town. Anything. Anything? Well, sure. I think it was Jimmy Walker who said, I don't care what people say about me just so they say something. That's publicity. Oh, you just want people to talk about the store, huh? Exactly. The more people talk about you, the sureer they are to think of you when they want to buy something. If you want to earn a raise, Dennis, start thinking up some publicity angle for us. A raise? Boy, I'll get my brain working on it right away. I was afraid that's what you'd call on. I'll get up front. I'm going to work on the book. Yes, sir. Gee, what a funny business. Now, if I could only think of something. Oh, good morning, madam. May I? Oh, hello, Mrs. Osberg. How's the mayor this morning? He's fine. Thank you. I'd like a jar of skin softener, please. And a dozen... Gosh, Mrs. Osberg, I just got a wonderful idea. Would you do something for me? What? Well, would you mind talking to people all over town about Willoughby's? You know, how nice it is to trade here and how courteous we are to customers and all that. But why on earth should I? Well, I'll bet you tell people about it if we insulted you. Indeed, I would. Oh, I see. Now, would you kindly take my order, please? What's the hurry, Fatso? Keep your bloomers on. You heard me. How could you miss with ears that size? This is fantastic. I've never been insulted like this before in my life. Well, that's your fault for not getting in here more often, broadbeam. I shall walk out of this store. Now we're getting somewhere. Come on, Fatso. What is it you want? I told you I wanted something to soften my skin. Have you tried a pneumatic drill? Done it, young man. I have, huh? So what are you going to do about it, flappy lips? Blabber it all over again. Had a girl? I knew I couldn't have picked a better blabberer. I'm going to tell this to every member of my club. Had a girl? And particularly, I'm going to tell it to Mrs. Anders. Had a girl? Pardon me. Could I have a clarification on that? You live at her house, and if you're the kind of person with whom she associates, I shall withdraw my support of her for president of the club. For president? Mrs. Osberg, I feel that I have made a series of nasty blunders. Oh, you do, do you? Yes, ma'am. You're a dreamboat, Mrs. Osberg. I love you. I want you in my harbor. Please sail into my... And so as the sun slowly sinks in the west, we say farewell to Dennis Day. Oh, Dennis, how could you? What'll Mother do? I don't know. I just know who she'll do it to. No, Mrs. Osberg, sure to support Mother's opponent, that Mrs. Hastings. She'll make her the guest of honor at that tea tomorrow. Yeah, I know. And now that rider will be Mrs. Hastings' protege, and you... Wait! Now what? What if this Mr. Phillips, the rider, turned out to be just an awful person? Someone who could lose the election for Mrs. Hastings instead of winning it for her. You follow me? No, the road's too rough, but keep going. Don't you see? You're going to take Mr. Phillips' place at the tea. None of the girls have ever seen him, and I'll fix you up so no one will recognize you. Yeah, but what about the real Mr. Phillips? Well, that's the easy part. Listen, your friend Bill Harding is the desk clerk down at the Weaverville Hotel where Mr. Phillips had his reservation. Uh-huh. Now, here's what you do. You ask Bill if he'll do you a little favor. And when Mr. Phillips... Gee, it sure was nice of Bill to let me take his place behind the desk, but if that Mr. Phillips doesn't show up soon... Look, Dennis, look. I'll bet that's him coming across the foyer now. At last. Boy, I sure hope this works. Oh, I just got to, Dennis. I'll duck into the office here. Good luck. Yeah. Uh, yes, sir. Can I help you, sir? These are the Phillips of New York City. Ah, yes, Mr. Phillips. We've been expecting you. How are you, sir? My train was an hour late. I'm due at a tea. I'd like a room and in a hurry, please. Mr. Phillips, when I ask someone how they are, they generally tell me. Oh, I beg your pardon. I'm fine. Just fine. Who cares? Look, young man, I'd like to register if I may. Aren't you going to ask me how I am? Very well. How are you? I've got an ulcer. I'm glad to hear it. Now, if you don't mind, I've got just got in. I'm very tired. I'd like my room. What room is that? The room I reserved here by wire. Oh, that. That's gone. Well, you mean you rented it to someone else? Oh, I had to. I couldn't help myself. Why not? I was bribed. I see. And now you want me to bribe you, too, huh? Well, we'll pull up to the fourth floor, but I suppose you could try to bribe me for one on the fifth floor if you want to. All right. I'll bribe you for a room on the fifth floor. I wouldn't take it. Why not? We've got no fifth floor. Now, look here, my man. This hotel wired me confirming my reservation. And I don't own the room! You understand. That's the way you feel. We do have one room left, 306. Is it a nice room? Sure. Here's the key and the flip gun. Flip gun? What's that for? Well, the room is vacant, but not entirely unoccupied. What happened to this room got a bath? No, but the bathroom is pretty convenient. Just walk to your right as you leave the room. How far? Just to the first traffic light. The first traffic light? Well, from there, you can't miss it. Just turn right again. It's the next filling station on your left. Why is this ridiculous? Oh, but you'll love the room. It's very attractive. And if you like to lie in bed and read the police gazette, it's... I don't. Oh, too bad. That's what the walls are papered with. What? It's nice and cozy and warm too. The chimney for the incinerators right outside your window. Young man, you think I'm going to stay in a flea bag like this? You're very much mistaken. I'm taking the next train back to New York. That's the way to talk. You had me a little worried for a while. Just do one last favor for me. Call up those SOWs and tell them they'll have to wallow around without me. Good bye. Good bye. Everything, you were just wonderful. Yeah. I think I've hit a hot streak. I sure hope it doesn't cool before that tea. Mrs. Alsberg, won't you reconsider? After all, what Dennis Day does can hardly be considered nice. Mrs. Anderson, please. I've made up my mind to support Elizabeth Hastings and that's final. Oh, Mrs. Hastings, that must be Mr. Phillips. Oh, my awful, my only awful at last. Now, don't forget, ladies. The gentleman you're about to meet is typical of the distinguished friends I shall introduce you to. If I must say yes, I will. He is typical of the distinguished friends I shall introduce you to. If I am elected president. Oh, glad to see you all, do you do? Howdy, babe. I told these other ladies that you and I are very old personal friends, Mr. Phillips. I hope you don't mind, but this election could mean my name in the social register. Shucks, kiddo. As the girdle said to the front lady, if you can get it in, I won't spread it around. My club members. Oh, Mrs. Olberg. This is Mr. Phillips. Oh, Mr. Phillips, this is the thrill of my life. I can't tell you how delighted I am to meet you. Well, you ain't a bad looking hunk of stuff yourself, Aldi. Typical of your old friends, is he, Mrs. Hastings? Why yet? Oh, sure. Me and Lisbon Powell's ever since were old men. You used to run that big saloon on 47th Street here. What? Why, he never. Come off it, Liz. Ladies, you should have seen this kid put it away when she was a little tight. She used to holler bottoms up so often she began walking around on her hands. Boy, remember how proud the old man was when you got into the chorus at Minsky's Lair? Boy, she really had a shape once. Yes, sir, the kid was really stacked. Never know what the way she's come on filed, huh? Really, Mr. Phillips? Ladies, this man is... And sing. Oh, what a voice. Come on, Liz, let's give him one of those old songs of yours. Hey, hey, come on. Why, I didn't know what you're talking about. Come on, Liz, how about that cute little thing he used to do called... She thought they'd drive in the park, but instead they parked in the drive. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, how about that little ballad you introduced, Liz, called... We kissed on the roof, meet the moonshore flares through the trap of your father's long underwear. Well, Mr. Hastings, is that the kind of woman we want for our president, ladies? I, for one, am leaving. Well, I'm not leaving. Now, there are ladies, honestly. Well, I guess I've got to be shoving off, too. Hey, Liz, how about you and me getting together real soon down at the tattoo parlor and talk over old times? Because to spend one night with you in our rendezvous and reminisce with you that's my desire. A little blunted by time, but still mighty powerful. Well, good night, girl. The election, Paul May. Why, Mrs.... Mrs. Anderson, gosh, you knew who I was all the time. Oh, yes. That shirt you put over your sweatshirt has a button missing, and every once in a while I could see Mickey Mouse staring at me. Gee, well, it worked anyway. I know. Oh, that old man's voice. And when you sang... Ha, ha, yeah. To meet where gave. We'll be back in just one minute to sing Mickey's. But first... Dreams and glistens from a luster cream shampoo Easy to do and off and silky from Yes, luster cream shampoo leaves hair with new three-way loveliness. Fragrantly clean, glistening with sheen, soft and easy to manage. Be a dream girl, a lovely luster cream girl. Dream girl, dream girl Beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo Charles Dand in the orchestra Dennis returns to our microphone to sing the old favorite and his latest RCA Victor recording, Mickey. With your hand, a bit of the blood Locking them off in the fire There's a bit of clowning A bit of the blarney too Prove the palmolet plan brings two out of three women lovelier complexions in 14 days. And this beauty plan with palmolet soap was tested on women with all types of skin. Dry, oily, even skin that was not clear. Yes, 36 doctors proved the 14-day palmolet plan improves all types of skin, brings fresher, brighter, younger-looking complexions. So get palmolet soap and start your 14-day palmolet plan now. This is Vern Smith reminding you that Dennis Day returns again next week same time, same station for the special Christmas Eve show, The Boy... This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.