 I'm taking all your presents, because guess what? He fucked me, which means I'm taking everything. Ride Rudolph, he's got a red shiny nose, which probably makes him a great drinking buddy. I've already ridden Rudolph, so I'll sit on Santa. As a cross-dressing pervert, I've done a lot of things. I've never had sex with a reindeer. Well, Santa always reminds me of my grandfather, so I'd rather sleep with Santa. Yeah. Oh. No, I just brought it somewhere else. It's not a dog, right? OK, then I've never had sex with a reindeer. Santa has presents. I'm pretty shallow. Oh, sit on Santa. I love a nice, sexy daddy, and Santa's a daddy. Just because I know there's going to be presents that come with it. Home Alone. I'd rather star in the Muppets Christmas Carol. Come on, New York. Give a reason. New York! Home Alone. Definitely. I want to put people through torture. Oh, girl, I look like Miss Piggy already. I think I'd rather star in a Muppets Christmas Carol because if you think about it, as wholesome as the Muppets are, they all can take a fist. And I love getting fisted. I would rather be surrounded by Muppets. I mean, their feathers and the crazy costumes. They're just cute and small and lovable. And you just want to put your hand up their butt and make them talk. I'd rather lose my whole foot. I will cut. Oh, my god. Let's take the whole leg. He's got a hard leg. Kiss Donald. Well, kissing Donald Trump would be a great photo op for a button pusher like me. I will kiss him, make sure I get a good photo, but I'm going to look uncomfortable so then I can come forward in 10 years. Lose three toes. I would lose both feet, but I think I'd rather lose three toes to Frostbite so I can finally fit into those Louboutins. I would just still walk everywhere. I'd rather chop off his three toes under the mistletoe. Rather even look at Mr. Trump. Not even going to say, I'm not even going to say his name, Mr. A**hole. Can it be a mistletoe? Yeah. You might as well get f**ked. Oh, I was going to say right away, like, I'm always horny. I would rather just sleep with Santa. If you're going to have sex with somebody like who's got all the presents in the world, I want everybody to know. Yeah, film it secretly and then put it on X2. I'm taking all your presents, because guess what? You f**ked me in between. I'm taking everything. What's money you would make if you actually were caught on tape with the real Santa getting f**ked by him? I guess I'd rather have people think that I had sex with Santa when I didn't because I'm always lying. And you're dressed like Miss Claus, so perfect. I'm a compulsive liar and the great thing about being Sharon Needles is that I'm a total hypocrite. I'll be his hoe. I'll be there, I'll be there. Ho, ho. Ho.