 One night on stage you go, hey, I see you grabbing your love handles. I didn't even know I was doing it. Yeah. Well, that was helpful. That told me a lot about you that, that like sort of like broke down a great wall between us. But I'm interested in your, cause I don't like, you're open. You have a eating disorder, sort of that you, that's ongoing. Yeah. Have you gone to 12 step programs or I have tried that. But it's, you know, I'm not, I, you can't look like me and go to an eating disorder recovery thing. Like it's just like, it's like smoking weed and going to N.A. or something. No, it's just like, you know, most of the people in there have over-eating issues. And, you know, I have, but I am mildly anorexic. Meaning you will under eat. No, meaning that I have like bizarro food issues around gaining weight. You're against it. Totally. You have a scale? I do, but like I'm okay with this stuff now. Like I have been okay. I had to do a lot of work on it, but it is like if I get above a certain level of discomfort physically, like I really become totally diminished. And like I feel like zero self-worth, zero confidence. If you're over 180, 85-ish, 86-ish, you know, like I think, I mean, I've got, I've gotten heavy, but like I can't handle it. And I've spent a lot of time as I get older, just being like, dude, just enjoy yourself. You know, what do you care if you're chubby or whatever? And I try to sit in that for a minute and I just can't do it. And now I'm vegan, like, you know, for the last few months, which I don't know if it's affecting my weight, but I feel better about what I'm eating. But that food stuff is so deep and it's so dug into me. From your mom, right? Yeah. Yeah. She had an eating disorder? She still, you know, she just, that was her life was, was, you know, maintaining a weight of like 119 or 116. So I was brought up, you know, as a chunky kid, as they say, you know, husky pants. And by this mother who was terrified, like I used to do a joke, that joke about, like, I think that for the first nine years of my life, my mother just saw me as her fat and that she just stopped eating. Maybe I, I hope you didn't write it ahead of time. I hope you just thought of it on stage. I think I must have. I hope to God. Of course they did. But you didn't just, you didn't actually sit down. That structured like a joke, but it's not a laugher. You know, like it's just a sad piece of information in a way. It gets a jarring laugh. It doesn't quite make sense. No, that's a laugh. That's funny. I mean, that could get a laugh. Yeah, but like it still, it plagues me still, you know, like I think about food constantly and about what to eat, how to eat, you know, what I shouldn't eat, how much shame I have. It's, it's, it's deeper than drugs. And it affects my. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Well, I guess it's cause you have, it's, you can't avoid it. It's the same kind of thing. You know, I think it all sprouts from that well that, you know, my mother felt so like insecure and weird that she made her entire life about, you know, managing her weight, you know, and she got down to below a hundred at different times. She was definitely clinically, you know, fucked up with it when I was growing up. And, you know, it was, it affected everything. The two of them, the, the, you know, the selfishness involved in both my parents, but that eating disorder really, really got me. Like I remember I went away to college my freshman year and I, I got as skinny as ever. God, I was down in the 160s and I looked terrible, but I was, I just wanted my mom to be proud. Was she? Nah, not really. She said I looked weird. There was no winning. Right. You know what I mean? It was always, it was always a little stick. Yeah. But I think that's where I got the sense of humor too. It was always a little stick. I would think you think of yourself as a combination of your parents. Yeah. Like this one, like just ascribe. Yes, but I still try to think like, well, not that. Well, no, I think that you can have a little control over that. I can't, I do think that you can make choices in your life, you know, and also there's something proactive about isolating the bad things that you got from them and trying to sort of cognitively deal with those and embrace the things, you know, find the things that you got from them that are good. I think that's a great, you know, recovery thing, not necessarily recovery in the terms of 12 steps or anything, but in terms of psychological recovery to accept the parts of your parents that, you know, kind of made you who you are in a good way, you know, and then deal with the other ones in a different way. Like, you know, I can make different choices than to honor that monster. Your body. Yeah. It's funny, the amount of guys on here who all confess to body stuff. Yeah. And I, me included in terms of just like gripping, Maren caught me gripping my love handles on stage one time in a very subtle way. And I was like felt, but what is your body stuff? Well, I think, you know, you look less fat than you looked. Yeah, that's, that's the goal. Yeah. But I think I'm always like, well, I have a funny Olympic story, but I always am at a weight where people, I look like I just lost weight. That's very funny. That's, that's my way and true. That's your, that's your weight. Yeah. And we call it the Dave Wrath in the business. He's very skinny. He's very skinny. Yeah. But in my head, he's overweight. Yeah. He's like, he's big boned. Yeah. So every time I see him, I'm like, you just lost weight, but he hasn't in decades. But I went to this vitamin guy, gave me all these vitamins. Again, you can't don't look up the vitamin guy. You can't get there. You got to use net worth minimums. There's cutting edge, cutting edge. Yeah. And so he gave me all these vitamins and they gave me like a shot. Give yourself a shot this once a week with this. Take all these vitamins for this reason. Now, I'm so dumb that I don't ask what the shot is. I don't know what the shot is. I mean, I may have looked at what the name of it was. But I didn't recognize the name. This is what Barry Bond said about. About steroids. Yeah, go ahead. So I never like just rubbing the cream on. And so I take the vitamins. I'm really good about the vitamins, but I like I'm always uncomfortable giving myself an injection because I literally just think I'm going to have an air bubble and die. Like I just have an irrational. I'm going to kill myself by accident. Yeah. So so shot. I was thinking like a, but you're talking about a needle and a shot in the butt. Yeah. So I, I do it randomly. Like I'm not being good about it, you know, so over 20 weeks, maybe I did it six times or something like that. Supposed to do it every day. Supposed to do it once a week. Got it. So I don't really do it enough, right? So then we check the blood work. All looks good. Everything has gotten way better. And then they give me slightly different vitamins and the shot. And then I go, what is this shot? And I think it, it's not ozepic, but like basically ozepic. And then I thought, this guy didn't even tell me he was giving me this drug. Like he never explained it to me. Like I was giving you this as part of it. Like we didn't even talk about what the shot was or that. And so I was just laughing like I was almost tricked into taking. Yeah, you didn't be involuntary. That's funny. So like it's like me too, but with ozepic. Yeah. But I always feel like I could take ozepic and still gain weight. I feel like I'm the person that could pull that off. You believe that you're capable of? Yeah, yeah, I can beat ozepic. It's like the people who would beat the gastric bypass. They would pop the, like Chris Christie kept popping the fucking stomach thing. Multiple times apparently. Yeah. What's your, you like, I think you just like snacking. Oh man. I mean, I feel like food as a. Self-medication, reward, shame, eating, like it's all, it's all good. What's your shame? You know, just binging, knowing it's bad for me and then taking it too far. And I've gotten so much better because like our house doesn't have a lot of junk in it. That's the key. You just can't have it. Yeah, I can't have it, but I, you know, I find ways to sneak. But when I was a kid, you know, my mom would buy like Chocodiles. Remember Chocodiles? I remember, yeah. It was like Twinkies with chocolate on them. And we liked them so much the second they got in the house, I would like hide half of them. I would just open it up and hide half from my brother and sister so that I wouldn't not get enough of them. And when my parents got divorced, I used to like make myself hamburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches and eat Intamin's cake with it. And like, it was a lot of food happiness. Got it. And no one could, neither parent would say don't. No, they were never buying for your attention. It was in one discussion of health that we never got no health. Those are the rules. There's never like eat that because it's healthy. Don't eat that because it isn't healthy. Literally no discussion of health. I didn't eat broccoli till 12th grade when it was in a Chinese food. I never ate salad as a kid. The vegetables generally corn or peas from a can. I just didn't even know what healthy food was. And then when I lived with Sandler, when we were young comics, we loved to eat. We would talk about it all day like, oh, man, we're going to go to Red Lobster tonight. And and even now we'll reminisce about meals. Oh, God, you remember that night when we went to that restaurant with that Chinese food? What's great is everyone hearing this can hear Sandler doing it. Do you remember that place, buddy, the beef steak Charlies? You know, like, yeah. And so that was all also connected to being a bad athlete because I was the youngest kid in the grade. I just resented anyone who was accomplished with physical things. So it's it's also a struggle to not be angry at the idea that I have to do anything for my health, exercise, food. Like it feels connected to somebody that tortured me. What's the best shape you've ever been in? The best shape I've ever been in was so funny. Someone asked me to do a movie, but it required me to be kind of ripped. And I said, no, because I'm like, I'm not going to get. Ripped. How much how much time would that take? And so I can't eat anything. The best shape I've ever been in, I think maybe during covid, I lost like 17 pounds and got healthy, probably out of just general health terror. And did you like it? I liked it, but not enough. I mean, you like not as much as you like food. It's so hard to not eat like bread. Like it's so easy to not lose weight because like you can eat great all day. And then at the end of the day, you just have like bread with your chicken and that day is killed. And in that, yeah. And then you were like, well, this day is fucked. I might as well have ice cream. Exactly. Where are the chocodiles? And I have a theory, which I talked about in a month, but it is sort of what I always think, which is I think no matter how much you eat, you can only gain one pound a day. So once you let it go. And by the way, there's no science behind this. I really feel like you can only gain one pound in a day. So if you're going to let it go, really let it go. Oh, right. Because it's you're already you already gained the pound. Yeah, it's not going to be two pounds. For some reason, I've decided that science. It is not science, but that's what I decided. Yeah. Well, somebody, a buddy of mine made the observation and I think is right. If you drink tea with dessert, it melts. The dessert really in your stomach. It doesn't at all. But just the weird things that we all go like, you know what? I've intuited something that's entirely made up and pure nonsense. I mean, I always was a nerd. I still am a nerd. I was always physically very slight, you know, tiny, very small shoulders, never liked how I looked was always physically weak and a thing that you were aware of. Oh, yeah, it was devastating to me. It's one of the blocks on there, I think it was devastating to me. And I fucking hated it and I hated how I looked and it took me a long time. You know, when I was a kid, I wouldn't go to like the store because I thought they wouldn't sell me stuff because I was so ugly. It just had like a real thing of it. It like was where do you get the idea that you're ugly? I don't want to get into all that. You know, you have people will like say something without knowing what they're saying or what they're causing. And I think one of the things that hurt was that up to the age of like five or six, I was objectively very cute and then shit turned. I never thought you weren't kind of cute. OK, well, thank you. I appreciate that. I thought the eyebrow, like the uneven eyebrow thing. This was like it's a natural rock. But so I never never liked it, never liked how I looked. And then in my 20s, did a lot of work to like be like, you know, it doesn't matter. Actually, you know, being good at something that you love gives you a lot of confidence. And so when I started doing stand up, you know, right in college, I was like 21 or 22, didn't have confidence until I started doing well on stage. And then suddenly everything changed. Like my whole life, the way I thought of myself, the way I carried myself, the way I talked to people, the way I talked to girls, they just changed. You know, all came from stand up being really good at something that I loved and wanted to be good at was awesome. Yeah. So that sort of changed everything for me. And then and then, you know, I started acting as nerds and all of this stuff. And this industry, it really puts you in a box. It really is like this is what this person does. This is what they play. And after doing that for years, I was like, you know, there's so much work that I don't have access to. I feel like all they want me to do is play this kind of beta male. And that, you know, and that was 10 years ago, I did that special. And that's how I presented myself. Right. So that's what I'm saying. Like as much as it's their fault, it's partially like you were. That's how you kind of thought of yourself. That's how I thought of myself. And that's how I thought I could get work. And that is how I got and stand up will will be a negative. It's a bit like you get laughs saying it. So then you're like, I guess this is who I am. You know what I mean? Like sort of. And that is how I felt. But, you know, I had that thing of that. I think someone like Conan has, you know, where all these jokes are about how he's beta, but he's not Conan's alpha. Yeah, sort of like that. So I really had that like, you know, drive and motivation and ambition and all this stuff. My jokes on stage were about how I'm terrified of stuff. But in real, in real life, I really was, you know, I wanted to be really good at it. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to like crush on stage. If I went on a show, I wanted to be funnier than everybody else. I wanted to bury my friends, you know, that's very fun to acknowledge. Yeah. And that and I love. I always knew that about you. You did. I always knew that about you. So I always knew that about you. So I'd go to like this sort of communal meltdown thing. I was like, no, this is for keeps. Yeah. This is like, there's definitely a competition here. Oh, yeah. It's not it's not it's not a commune. No, it wasn't for me. It was for some people. It was for a lot of people. And I know that some people didn't like that about me, that at the meltdown, which was such a great room and this communal space that I was sort of like, I want to do. I want to invite all these people to my show, all these really funny people. The funniest people in the country, every famous, you know, comedian did that show. And on that night, I want to bury. I want to be funnier than them. That's the spirit of alternative comedy, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, diet. Do you mean dieting or just general diet? Probably both, right? Yeah, just like the overall concept of, you know, eating healthy, I guess. You don't you seem about right? The thing is that somebody you're and I feel this way about Roy Wood, too. Like that's just the size you are. So I can't really notice kind of much of it, but I've had my swings. You know, I mean, like if you really look at a lot of my SNL years, there's been some some bloated years, you know, I mean, where I was really going hard on soda and like not working out at all type thing and just like going to work and then laying around until it's time to be used kind of thing, you know, like the literal whale shirt. Yeah, super shirtless, just for myself. But even before that, it's it's been a lifelong kind of journey, you know, just genetically is your family. Like what size? What size do you think your body is supposed to be? I feel like I'm semi close now, but I could be more muscular. Like I could do more push ups and shit like that to make it tighter. I brought shoulders, you know, I mean, I don't think I was supposed to be like a very skinny person necessarily, but you know, it could be better. Maybe in the thighs, I don't know where it's supposed to be. It's going to say size. Yeah, that's what I had on my phone checking show me thighs. Do you beat yourself up when you're overweight or when your thighs aren't right? No, I'm in full denial. You know what I mean? Like I look in the mirror like, all right, this looks like, you know, symmetric or whatever, longer t-shirt. They don't turn like the actual frontage. You just turn sideways. I'm like, oh, that looks kind of skiniish. And he turns and you see how wide you are. Like, no, no, that's not the best. No, no, no, this is the wrong. Yeah, this angle is not appropriate. I'm good. So that part, you know, bothers me about that. What's your inner monologue like? You don't need that extra sandwich, you know what I mean? You don't need is it like, oh, is it friendly in the beginning? When it gets out of hand, it's like, yo, what are you doing, bro? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, look at yourself. Like take all your clothes off and look at yourself. And you think this is a good idea to just do Chick-fil-A for the third day in a row type thing? It's like, you got to try harder, you know? Like, there's nothing wrong with Chick-fil-A, but everything in moderation, blah, blah, blah, blah, bullshit, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. As far as dieting concerns, dieting and exercise is kind of the only way to take care of your body. You can take this pill. You can do that. Well, now the shot. Yeah, you can use this equipment, whatever, but you just, you have to do them both. You got to do something. Yeah. Do you worry about, like, you got, I have daughters now. I should be more, like, do you worry about that? I mean, yeah, but like at the same time, you know, no one knows the hour and what the cause might be. I could fall off a cliff on some shit and been dieting and exercising the whole time. You know what I'm saying? You still doing that cliff parkour? Man, that hardcore cliff shit, man. That hardcore parkour, bro. I would love to come by. Let me know, text me, bro. I'll be right there. So we have a good time. All at night. Wow. All at night. So they just, you know, got a bit, but I do want to set a good example for, you know, good living and stuff like that. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah. Did you like it though? You want more? Don't want to work would rather watch videos of me grab acid with people. First, I'll go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips. This is like when the weatherman says there's a high pressure system coming in. I'm not really used to the green screen.