 I've learned so much in my life. This is what I've learned. What I've learned about history. Everybody cool dies. But it's okay. Because everybody lame dies too. What I've learned about war. If you're bad at it. What I've learned about success. You can't succeed if you're not brave and cool. Sunglasses are likely your best bet. What I've learned about music. No banjos allowed. What I've learned about computers. They need to be taught by other computers in order to survive. What I've learned about dreams. You can dream about anything you want when you sleep. Just insert your brain chip. What I've learned about crime. Go to jail or die. What I've learned about bones. Your bones are your weapon and you are the murderer. There is no victim. What I've learned about myself. I should have learned how to skateboard. What I've learned about gnomes. Gnomes are just fucking awful. Ugly as shit and worthless. Why even bother?