 What's your name again? Tortilla? No, Tortilla. That was the leader of the LDSO, bro. My name is Mr. Warwhite. God bless you, Mr. Cornwood. God bless you on everything you stand for. I'm here to put in a P.D. application. Okay. And I'm here. P.D. my friend, Mr. Warwhite. Howdy, y'all. How's it going? Oh, yeah. Howdy. Come on. Come on, let's die. You used to work here back in your day, apparently. I said, you don't remember me, man. SDSO. I was Tortilla. You don't remember Tortilla. That was the... What happened to Tortilla, bro? Hey, Mr. Bones. You remember Mr. Bones. The SDSO. I speak Spanish. Do you need me to translate? Said he's from the SDSO. I'm speaking English right now. What you saying, bro? He's speaking English right now. What are you saying, right? Well, no, I understand. I understand what he's saying. He's, you know, I understand Mexican. I'm speaking Spanish. Hey, everyone here is speaking Spanish. Before I was in the LPD, when Bass was chief of police. Bass was the chief of police. I understand. Where's Bass? Where's Bass at? Oh, where's Bass? Bass is, uh... Bass is dead. What? Did you say he dead, bro? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ay, mi madre a Jesucristo. Are you gonna... How he die? I don't know. I think he, like... I wasn't around. This was after I... I said, that was my bald brother, man. We, me and him, we used to get confused a lot. So that was his bald brother. Yeah. They used to think I was Bass sometime, man. I know how he died. I think he, like, jumped on a grenade or some shit. And I think, like, Rami, like, pissed on his grave. I... I punched the shit out of Rami when he said that. Pissed me the hell off. Oh, Rami pissed while he dying? Yeah, something like that. Ay, mi madre. Let me introduce myself. Now that this fella's done ran his mouth for five straight minutes. Dylan Sawyer. Alright, Dylan, nice to meet you. I'm from Brokeback, Montana. Came out here to put my PD application in. Okay. I'm a country boy. I'm a simple man. I like riding my horse, making love to my wife. Oh. Who she's causing. Don't forget that part. It's his cousin. My wife, my first wife was my cousin. Well, you got to start somewhere. But my second wife was not. That's your sister. No, it's not. It's my second cousin. Oh, well, I mean, you're that boy. You're not even family, really. I'm a straight man. Oh, well. You want to translate Chong into Spanish? I got to translate what he's saying. Yeah, can you translate that to Mexican for me? Okay. So he say that... Cornwood, he's Cuban. And he's your sister. Okay. And he also said that he's a tremendous man. Yes. That's what he said. Hold on. I'm sorry. I don't... You're speaking Cuban. I don't understand. I'm speaking Spanish. He's speaking Spanish, but he's from Cuba. He does the same language, my friend. Is he from Cuba or Spain? Oh, my mother. He's speaking Spanish. You are a man, Cornwood. No, I'm not. Okay. I'm not. I am not. No. I'm not a penguin. Well, there's a lot of history there. Godito, listen. Godito is different country, different country, same language. Okay. Next thing you... Yeah, go ahead. You're going to start telling me English and American is the same. You're right. I'm sorry, Mr. Cornwood. I'm sorry. I'm doing... I'm trying to do PDA application just like this guy right here. Okay. So, okay. What is y'all's experience? You were born of the SDSO you said? Yes. I was police officer, my friend. You know, anybody that was doing crime, jail, a la pinga. Why did I stop? I didn't. I got deported because, listen. Keep it in the room, but I didn't have green card when I was caught. They found out the Cuban government, they came, they took me back. I come back over here. Now I have green card and apparently I got fucking fired. I was gone for a while. I mean, hell, I didn't even know there was a damn... The whole damn government changed and shit. I showed back up and I was like, hey, where the hell's my uniform? Exactly. That's what I was wondering through, bro. I'm going to ask you a few questions, okay? Okay. Can you tell me... Cornwood, before you ask me questions, I get a few things from them. Don't, uh, don't worry about the field. I'm feeling generous today. Are you willing to pay their $2,500 application fee? Yeah, I'll give you a fuck. Mr. Duncan, if you can't pay, it's okay. I go work at the Cinebunk. Probably just go get a job on a ranch or something. I kind of want them to have to make the money. Yeah, exactly. Introduce it to the character of the city. Alright, Mr. Worldwide, you? Yeah, what for me? You need ID. ID phone number, shift. Anyway, Cornwood, you got the application for them, right? No, I want you to give it to them. Okay, so I'm going to ask you, uh... What was your name again? Tortilla. No, Tortilla, that was the leader of the SDSO, bro. My name is Mr. Worldwide. Can I see your ID one more time? Okay, Piccadillo. Piccadillo, my friend. Piccadillo, you're right, Mr. Cornwood, I'm sorry. Okay, wait, Piccadillo? Listen, listen, you got to tell me whatever you want. Uh, okay, can you explain a few things for me? I've seen this how you're an officer with some experience. Okay, okay. I want to make sure you know, you know, what the hell you're talking about. Can you for me explain, uh, what's the difference between reasonable suspicion and probable cause? Okay, a reason about suspicion is when you don't have enough to arrest somebody, but you have enough suspicion to ask questions, detain, uh, you know, uh, what's it called, power for weapon, for example. And you can get that, like, for example, if somebody calls 911 and say, I said, hey, there's somebody here, we're gone. This is description. Then you have the suspicion, okay, enough to detain the person and speak to them and pat them down. Now, probable cause is when, like, for example, you see somebody selling drugs, you know, that's more than suspicion because you saw that, she broke. So it's like, hi, my mother, he's selling cocaine to kids. I saw it happen. I got a picture. I raised this on beach. Oh, you see that probable cause I said it. That was good. That was good, actually. That was a good, uh, good answer. Now, uh, I'm going to throw a scenario your way and I'm going to be a little bit harder on you because you say you have some experience, right? Okay. Yes, I have a opinion, but to be fair, it being like two years. Okay. But yes, I have a opinion. Yes. Okay. Somebody gives a call, right? Hey, I heard gunshots out here. I'm sitting at home, you know, I'm sitting here in the south side. I heard people screaming outside. There's a guy shooting, shooting up shit. I'm calling the police. Can y'all go check it out? I'm worried somebody might be shy to hurt or something. You roll over the scene. You see two women. You see a man. Are they attractive? One is, one isn't. And the other one, she has a dog. There is a car over to the side. I have to shoot that dog. Okay. Good answer. Good answer. Cause that dog, well, I mean, you have to frisk the dog first, see if he has a gun, but you know, you know, that don't matter. Anyway, there's a car over there on the side. Windows are broken. The door is missing actually. And it's smoking a little bit. That's it. That's all the information I'll give you. What do you do? Okay. If the people are on the scene of the call, right where gunshot was fired, everybody is getting the thing and everybody getting GSR. I said, if the dog tried to attack us, that motherfucker getting killed. Okay. Do you GSR the dog? We GSR the dog. You never know. Some people, you never know nowadays, bro. Some people be dressing like dog. It's like a costume. You never know. They could be inside of a dog costume. What if they started shooting? Okay. And we checked the car for tampering. Okay. Why did you check the car for tampering? Is the car illegally parked or not? Yes. Okay. Is there bullet holes in the car? No. But it's illegally parked? Yes. Okay. Does the car come back to one of the people that we detained on scene? No. The car is flag 1060. I don't know what 1060 is. I forgot. Stolen vehicle. Yeah, it's flagged stolen. It's flagged stolen. It actually doesn't change anything. If the vehicle is stolen, we search it. We impound it. Do you do that? But do you do that because it's stolen or do you do that because it's parked illegally and it's smoking? Because it's stolen. If a car is parked illegally, you're gonna search it. Well, if it's parked illegally, you can tow it, right? You can tow it. So what do you do if you tow it? Can you search it every time you tow a vehicle, even if it's illegally parked? You should, because what if there's a bomb or some shit in there? It ends up going to the tow line. Okay, that's good. Sorry, I forgot. Okay. What does that mean for the people there? First of all, we question them, right? And we have no proof that they wasn't in the car. They wasn't using it. We're gonna charge them with that because we're gonna approve it. Good answer. I think you got a good head on your shoulders. I think we need someone in the department that can probably speak cubish and translate. Yeah, I mean, hell, I'm, you know, obviously we got to go through a more rigorous interview process and get your application all that shit in. Did Duncan get your info? I gave him all my information. Oh, well good. Good to hear. Okay, so just to clarify my friend, Mr. Conwood, this was not the interview. This was like the application, right? This is like a pre-interview. If you don't pass my temperature check, then we're gonna take your $2,500 and throw it in the trash. Okay, mucho gracias, Mr. Conwood. Listen, for your time, I got you a present, my friend. What was that? I got you some food, bro. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm sure, you know, I'm sure you're hungry here, waking up day, you know, you need breaks on time. Yeah. Get you a little sneaker, you know, all that. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Now, what did you just do? What did you say? You know what bribery is? I said it. I'm not bribing you. I'm just giving you food because you are a good guy. That's not bribery, my friend. Good answer. All right, now for you, uh, Sawyer, right? Dylan Sawyer, is that your name? That is my name. Okay. Dylan Sawyer. Okay. Dylan, where'd you go? Is that Montana? Broke back of Montana. Uh-huh. I used to work for my daddy at the Sheriff's office as a deputy under him. Oh, really? Okay, so you got some experience, too. Tragic ranching accident. Really? Well, I'm sorry to hear that. What happened? Can you really leave that moment for me? Cow got out of the stall. And my father approached that cow, and that cow jumped on him. Hmm. He just got mauled right then and there by a rabid cow. My favorite cow. She turned on my father, and then I had to put her down. I lost my favorite cow and my daddy that day. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry about your cow. Uh, oh, ain't your father. Someone just drove a car into this room. Oh, hell, not again. Uh, disregard shots, MRPD. I need you to stay safe. I got to call, uh, I'm going to call a tow on that. Got a friend of mine. He's probably around. He's usually around right now. Hi, you've reached the voicemail box of Kyle Fred. I'm currently being a terror. Leave your name and number, and I'll get back to you. I had a cow. I had a cow. It's, uh, it's corn wood. The, oh, hold on, let me just put my phone back to my ear. Sorry, my arm is getting tired. Uh, anyway, yeah, there's a, uh, there's a car here that needs to be towed. Uh, there's a crazy woman who just decided to drive it into the side of the PD through the window. Um, you just come by here. She's dead in the car. You can leave her in there. That's fine. Let me know when you get this. Anyway, where were we? How much experience do you have? I was a deputy from when I was 14 years old. Okay. That's some good shit. I like that. So how many years experienced you have? I'm 30 now. Were you good or no? 34 now. Was I good? Some would say that I knew a thing or two. I don't like to toot my own horn. I like my results to speak for themselves there, Mr. Cornwood. I'll make you proud out there. That's good. That's what I like to hear. You know, there's a lot of folks that come in here and they act like they know what the hell they're doing. They act like they know a lot more than the police do. I hate that. More often than not, a lot of people assume the worst. And when you have a lot of people out there assuming the worst, I try and do the best that I can to articulate every single thing that we do to folks. I shoot them. And I would love to shoot them sometimes, but unfortunately, I can't do that. Oh, I thought that was a question that you were asking me. Nobody should have been. Just a little cowboy humor. Oh, hell, listen. If only you knew, only you knew. Oh, I know. It's ain't the same world we used to live in. Okay. This used to be a great country. But unfortunately, liberals have taken over and they've ruined every single damn thing that we've got. I can't stand them liberals. God bless you, Mr. Cornwood. God bless you on everything you stand for. Yeah, I'm trying my best. That's all I try and do. So anyway, again, you see, it's how you have some experience. I'll ask you a couple more questions. I'll give you kind of an odd one. Police vehicle is at, it's at a restaurant. That police vehicle is parked in front of a bus stop. Tow truck driver comes up, pulls out a gun and starts shooting civilians. What do you do? Am I already there? Yeah, you're already there. What I'm going to do in that situation, I'm going to put my hand at my side, unbutton my gun from its holster. Grab my firearm. Now then, from what you're telling me, from what I observed, the man in a tow truck just pulled up to a fast food restaurant. Got out of his tow truck and started emptying his clip into a crowd of people. I'm going to point my gun up, raise it high. Oh, yeah. I'm going to put a bullet right between that fucker's eyes. Okay, good shit. I'm going to radio them. And I'm going to say, situations code four. Send a hearse. Send a body bag. Send some flowers as well. We got funeral we need to attend. That day, a formula been known as Dylan Sawyer Day DSD. Now I got to ask one more question. What's that? What gun were you using? My registered police firearm. As I believe in this situation, I'm on patrol. Now what gun do you want to use? I want to use a good old American gun. Colt 1911 with a wooden handle. There you go. That was a beautiful answer. No need to cry there, Mr. Cornwood. I'm here for you. Well, I appreciate it, Dylan. Rewind your black. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. What, what'd you say? The last one to know. No, not you, Dylan. The last one to show. I was the last one. He said it. You'd see there. He's going to 123. I saw him even at the trucks. Okay. Oh, here, Dylan, come with me. We got to go help out, fellow officer. We said, Carl, look. I'm right behind you there, Mr. Cornwood. I will see you soon. Let me take my shirt off and take a look at this. No, it's okay. You don't got to do that. I already got it going. I appreciate it, though, Dylan. No, I insist. Okay, you can go right ahead. If I can't get it done. Why don't you both take your shorts off and work on my truck? Oh, okay. Take a look at this. Yeah, go ahead. Can you, can you grab that for me? I'll get your hips to make sure you got some good leverage. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Just make sure I don't fall over. Yeah, make sure you lift his hips there so he can really lean in. I got to lean into the truck there, Mr. Cornwood. Yeah, here, can you, can you grab that wrench for me? My hands are full with your immaculate mass. Damn it. Well, just reach around right quickly. Let me grab that wrench. Yeah, there you go. Make sure to maybe give us a little back massage while he's working there. All right, there we go. Yeah, okay, appreciate that. You like this? Is this new? That's new. Yeah, it's brand new. Texas Ranger detective outfit. Reminds me of my daddy. My daddy was the sheriff of the Brokeback Sheriff's Department. Okay, all right. You're applying to the LSPD? I'm applying to the police, but my heart is in the county. Okay, well, well, Dr. It's a pleasure. I have a good feeling you and Cornwood are going to get along swimmingly. Him and the guy named like Picadillo. Picadillo? Yeah. What about that? He's like Cubish. Cubish? Just a little bit. Not Cuban, just Cubish. Or is he a big square? No, no, he's like, no, he's like rectangular-ish. Okay. All right, I'm going to get to a blitz. I really appreciate it. All right. What the hell? Wait, he owes me $90,000. Why is he buying new cars for it? Clearly he doesn't respect you and has no intention of paying you back. Wait, what the hell? I just realized he... Is there a contract agreement for the money that you let him borrow? No, I'm not a pussy. I don't do contracts. There ain't nothing more valuable than your word. A piece of paper don't change that. Oh. You're a true patriot. So you don't care. You don't care who your partner is for the day. That's good. See, that's what we need. We need you to be a team player, okay? Because that's the thing. I know you said you don't care about what other folks are doing, but it ain't as simple as that. What we got to do is we got to get all the folks on the same page. We just got to make sure they're doing it the right way and you got to be confident that your way is the right way. I'm always confident until I'm proven wrong. There you go. I just make the alterations that I need to make in order to get the job done. I'm a switch. Oh, like LSPD or Sheriff's Office? Like, you don't mind which one you go do? Now, what I mean is, is I can change it up when I need to. Well, Dylan, here's what we're going to do for you. You got that application? Yeah, he handed me the application and I put it into my coat pocket. Okay, good. Go ahead and fill that thing out. Get us sent in and I'll let them know you applied, okay? I'll send you a text message when I do. I'm sure you'll be interested in this, but I'll be running for sheriff. Come time, the sheriff's elections open up. When's that happening? I have no damn idea. But when they do, appreciate your vote. You have my vote. So we can finally get some shit done. And it would be an honor to work for the Sheriff's Office. I would love that. I would absolutely love that. I should probably get my shit ready and head on out there.