 Oops, Anne writes, question. When having sex for the first time with someone, I'm unsure if I should hold back and just do the boring movie sex or just let loose and have fun monkey sex. I don't want him chasing just sex. So, okay, and I'm gonna share with you a story. It reminds me of one of my first relationships after my divorce. This was about nine months after my divorce. I met a woman online and we connected on the phone and she happened to live about 40 miles from me and I drove down to where she lived for our first date. And I'll tell you what, I'll be candid with you. Our first date turned into three days in a row of three days of great sex. And by the way, this is a high powered executive, senior vice president at a pharmaceutical company. I mean, she, I'm not trying to differentiate. I was about to say something degrading, but I'm just gonna say this was a person who I thought was a high character. And I didn't judge the fact that we had sex on the first date and I gotta tell you the sex was great. I wanted more and I wanted more sex, okay? What's more important is not about the sex. What's more important is this person an emotional grownup. Is this person an emotional grownup? The fact in the matter is is sex has nothing to do with emotional maturity. Emotional maturity has more to do with unresolved childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that go unresolved, which causes them to have weak relationship skills, to have weak relationship skills. If you're not familiar with my emotional maturity relationship skills chart, I can show you roughly about 20% of the population has, by the way, this is not a fact right here. This is my opinion. Roughly has 20% clinical issues, clinical issues. Another 20% of the population might be emotionally healthy and the vast majority of dysfunctional. So having great sex the first time, I think is a great thing. I do not hold back. At least that's how I feel don't hold back. I hopefully the guy doesn't hold back. You have great sex together. Remember though, if you have sex, just like on my coffee mug here, before the penis goes inside the vagina, read that by the book eight dates, maybe you should read the book eight dates before you have that hot sex. And that might put you in a better position to know if it's worth investing in this person or not. So just as a reminder, the book eight dates before you have that hot sex with him. All right. I think it was Anne. I wanna thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right. Who writes, Jonathan, the question. Why do I feel guilty about ending the relationship? Getting ready to, it isn't moving forward. The man lied about his civil status and has shown his personality to be called a manipulative. I don't think you're feeling guilt because I can't imagine someone will feel guilty ending a relationship with someone who's manipulative and has lied to you. What I think you're feeling most likely is maybe an unhealthy attachment to someone. And so you're feeling love attachment and not necessarily guilt. That's just, and if you're not familiar with love attachment, check out the book called Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller to study that. But I'm not thinking, I mean, I know you say it's guilt, but I'm gonna assume it's an unhealthy attachment and you feel uncomfortable ending a relationship with someone you're attached with. So that's just my general consensus on that. Mijon says, question, if the new boyfriend said he wants to set the pace and rhythm of our sex, that puts me more in a passive place that it isn't as sensual as I like. How can we both be excited about it? All right, I'm a big believer in healthy communication with one another. This is why I'm gonna recommend two books for everybody right now, two books. I want you to check out this book, Couple's Communication Guide to Love and Happiness and How to Build Trust in a Relationship. So these two books, learn, communicate, folks, I'm gonna tell you something. Women believe that they're great communicators in relationships and ladies, just because you have a capacity to vomit your feelings doesn't make you any better at communicating your feelings. So this is a time to learn better communication skills. This is why I continually recommend everybody reading the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I can't, what you have to do is learn healthy communication by starting by speaking from the heart, speak from the heart, have deep conversations because I gotta tell you what most relationships are missing today is intimacy. And I don't mean the penis inside the vagina intimacy, I'm talking about emotional intimacy. And I highly recommend checking out this book, Emotional Intimacy by Robert Augustus Masters. Robert Augustus Masters. Because I gotta tell you most women, women have this fantasy that you're so much better at communication than men. Actually, men tend to be good communicators when you speak to them in a logical level versus vomiting your feelings level, but that doesn't necessarily mean a man's gonna open up. So ladies, if you want a guy to become a better communicator, then lead by example, check out these books that I talk about so you can have this delicate conversation with them to talk about your sex life together because here, the thing is, look it. You know that we don't have time to fuck around when you get to your 40s, 50s, 60s, the days in front of us are a lot shorter than the days behind us. So don't be afraid to speak your truth because you'll only scare off the wrong person and the right person leans into the conversation. Can I get an amen to that? Thank you so much for allowing me to share there, my John. I really appreciate it. All right.