 When the narcissist doesn't come back if you have been discarded by the narcissist and you are wondering why they never returned Why they never came back to you in most cases The reason is because they have found another source of supply They have found someone else to replace you They have found someone else to fulfill their needs They found this new source of supply While they were already with you, but they continued playing along Acting as though they were still committed to you As though they still wanted to be with you Then they began to devalue you they began to criticize everything you were doing Everything you were about and then they began to treat you as though you were worthless or beneath their consideration While they were devaluing you They were grooming the new source of supply They were preparing or training the new source for a particular purpose or activity While they were treating you as though you were worthless or beneath their consideration The new source had their full attention Because the new source was fulfilling their needs The new source was attending to them and admiring them The narcissist began to develop an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for the new source While this was going on the narcissist began to devalue you The new source was then fulfilling their needs Attending to them and admiring them Giving them attention and praise Make them feel significant and valuable Attractive and desirable While the narcissist was treating you as though you were worthless or beneath their consideration This is the process The series of actions or steps When the narcissist is planning on discarding you but they have to go through the process They have to go through the series of actions or steps They have to ensure that the new source is likely to be influenced by them or capable of submitting to the process While they were with you While they were devaluing you They had already found this new source of supply This new person that you knew nothing about When they began to devalue you That is when they had found the new source Once the narcissist has found the new source It is only a matter of time until they discard you They will discard you once they have secured the new source It is a process of preparing or training the new source for a particular purpose or activity Once the new source has been fully prepared or trained The narcissist will be ready to discard you And they will then advance the new source to the role of being their primary source of supply If the narcissist knows that you are still interested in them or you are still wanted to be with them They will toy with you They will come back and play along As though they are still interested in you or they are still wanted to be with you But it's never real or genuine It's just a game and it is used to detect if you are still emotionally connected or attached to them If the narcissist can detect that you are still interested in them or wanting to be with them It makes them feel as though they are something desirable It makes them feel as though they exist and as though they are something significant or valuable to you That's all it's really about That's why they come back to you if they can get something out of you they will come back But it's more about the feeling of someone wanting them Someone desiring them That's all they really care about because they are very insecure They feel inadequate They cannot validate themselves So they will return to you with the hope that you will validate them So they might return to you to have you attend to them for a moment and make them feel as though they are something desirable As though they exist and as though they are something significant or valuable to you But then they will disappear again and you won't hear from them Then suddenly They come back again It creates this back-and-forth hoovering Where they are only returning to you as and when they need they need something When they need something to sustain them To keep them going and because they know that you are still hopeful They know that you are still hoping that they might come back to you They know that you are perplexed and confused and still trying to figure out what actually happened They know that you are looking for answers And that you are going to do whatever it takes to correct the situation They know that you want to make things right And that you want to return to normality They already know all of this And that's why they are capable of doing what they do That's how they are capable of affecting you in this way. This is why they hoover you This is why they continue to come back to you because they know that you care They know that you desire functionality or normality They know that you want to correct the situation They might have made it seem as though they thought you were a bad person Or something you did was not right But they actually knew from the beginning that you are a caring person and that you do desire functionality or normality Those are the types of people that they target They are not going to target someone who doesn't care Someone who has no desire or motivation to correct the situation a person who doesn't care Or a person who doesn't desire functionality or normality Isn't going to be capable of providing them with any supply That's why they have to target people who do care People who do desire functionality or normality People who will try to correct the situation These types of people are often grade A sources of supply Because they provide the narcissist with so much of their time energy and attention They will rarely just leave or ignore the narcissist Because they are very kind caring people They desire change and want to see the good in people They want to believe that the narcissist can change or can be a good person These are the types of sources that the narcissist will continue to hoover because they are good people They still care if you have figured out who the narcissist is and What they are about and you have made it clear to the narcissist that you are aware of what they are doing They know that you are no longer going to be susceptible to their manipulation They know that they are not going to be able to trick you in the same way that they did before If you have figured out who they are and what they are about This is when they will begin to cause trouble for you This is when you will begin to see who they really are Because they know that you have figured them out Which means that it is only a matter of time until you discard them When you have discarded them and they hoover you It will be as an attempt of revealing your capabilities by putting you under strain through challenging you Revealing your nature or your tendency to behave angrily or emotionally They want to see how you are going to react to their behavior When you discard them They will still try to come back But it's only to reveal your capability or tendency To behave angrily or emotionally to test if you are still emotionally connected or attached to them To see if you are still bothered by them or what they did to you They want to see if you were serious about not being interested or not wanting to be with them anymore They might come back and give you a fake apology Telling you that they have realized how much you mean to them It's all lies And it's just another attempt for them to try to get something out of you If you don't fall for the hoover attempt or the fake apology This is when they realize that you have really figured them out And that they are no longer going to be able to extract anything more from you They might hoover one of their old sources or find a new target But it will be the last time that they hoover you Because they know that you are not going to give them what they want If they know that you are not coming back And they are not going to be able to trick you They're not going to waste their time and energy on you anymore They will find another target who is going to be more susceptible to their manipulation Someone who hasn't figured them out yet Someone who doesn't know what they're about Because they know that there is no way that you are going to go back to them If you really know what they're about And you have no conflicting beliefs in your mind There is no way that you would ever want anything to do with them And they know this Because that would mean that you know that they're no good for you You know that they have no value and you know that they do not have your best interest in mind If you'll figure that out Why would you ever want anything to do with them? Once you have left a narcissist Ensure that you do not go back Because they have likely already experienced a narcissistic injury from you rejecting them And they will want revenge If you return to them after you have left Or after you have wanted a break from the abuse They will want to get back at you They will want to see you having a breakdown They will want to see you broken down and destroyed They will want to see you depressed in a state of unhappiness Where you are so perplexed and confused that you can't move on or do anything with your life Whether you leave them or they leave you That is how they wanted to end when you finally get the chance to move on They want you to be so broken down That you are not even mentally capable of establishing something with anyone else They want you to experience the strong emotional effects of sadness Disappointment, dissatisfaction The effects of this can last many years and some people never recover While the narcissist moves on feeling good Satisfied with what they have done and with leaving you They might return to you And you will be thinking that they felt bad about their decision Or that maybe they do care about you But it's actually only to see if you are still suffering If you are still struggling from everything that they have done to you That's why they come back Because they already know the effects of their behavior They already know how it has affected you They want to come back every few months to ensure that you are still suffering To ensure that you are still in the depths of misery and pain where they had left you Don't let it bring you down Don't let it damage you Rather than seeing it as something negative You can see it as something positive Now they have failed to destroy you Because although they have tried to transfer their negative energy onto you You have managed to convert it into something positive That causes a huge narcissistic injury The best revenge against the narcissist is your success The most fulfilling way to repay an injury or wrong done to you from the narcissist is your success When they have to witness your success Or they have to have knowledge of your development or happiness From their observation or from someone else's confirmation Why would they hoover you When you know who they are You know what they are about and you want nothing to do with them It would be a waste of their time and energy They have no reason or purpose to hoover someone who knows what they are about Someone who has moved on and remains unaffected by the narcissist They are not going to come back to you They are not going to take that risk If you have managed to move on and create a life for yourself And you remain unaffected by them You are a powerful person You have the power to influence and direct the course of events You have the ability to restrain your own emotions or actions You have the ability to maintain influence and authority over the narcissist You are able to remain calm and reasonable Despite provocation That is the definition of a powerful person You are a powerful person And that is why they are not going to return to you Because you are too powerful for them to be around They want to have the power to influence and direct the course of events They want to have the ability to manipulate your emotions or actions They want to maintain influence and authority over you They want to make you emotional by use of provocation But they cannot do that to you anymore Because you have put yourself in a position of power If they were to be around you, they would only feel powerless They would feel as though they are without ability, influence or power They would feel inadequate, ineffectual As though they are insufficient for a purpose and unable to produce any significant or desired effect You move forward in a purposeful way When you make progress A development or improvement The narcissist powers away Because they feel threatened by power They feel vulnerable or at risk And as though something undesirable is likely to occur Because they have no power of their own They have to take that from you And if you are not giving it to them And they are having no significant or desired effect on you It leaves them powerless Your recovery and success makes them pull back Make some back away Because they feel so small and inadequate Whenever they are around you Whenever they have to witness your recovery and success They cannot grasp mentally or understand it It overwhelms them And they hate it It kills them Success is the ultimate revenge Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries you can email me at nardsforumcoaching.com Check out the demotion dice in the Nards Forum store Where you can purchase your own Nards Forum t-shirt tanked up or mug The link is in the video description Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon