 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Come in Claudia Oh, no, no, come on in. This is a very informal house whose basic philosophy appears to be that work was created to be disturbed Come on in Claudia. Oh, hello mama. You're working. Maybe I'm disturbing you Oh, no, no, no come right on in you are working. Oh, hello Jeffrey. Nothing of it. Hello, Mrs. Brad Yes, dear yes, dear I Remarkable and unusual You have any idea where mama is? Not the foggiest Well, he's not like her to disappear and to see an air like this Oh, she'll probably turn up someday No I'm coming in Oh, mama, you're here. Hello, Jeff Hello, Mrs. Norton What's all going on in here? We were having a conference About what? Waiting for you. Well, I'm here What shall we talk about? Say, Mr. Norton, this is a wonderful ride That's as good a thing to talk about as anything What? Trout fishing David never minds talking about trout fishing Jeff your dad's been on the stream with me when he would have given his left arm Not his casting arm to own that when you're holding in your hand Gee Uh, do you like to fish? Dr. Brainard took me out a year ago a couple of times Who's Dr. Brainard? He was the headmaster of our school He retired this year He was going to take me fishing this year after the After the examinations He wrote a book on fishing Oh, that Dr. Brainard I've read his book A schoolmaster writing a book on fishing Well, meetings adjourned All those in favor say aye Aye, what? I think we ought to go fishing Well, I've got a lot of work to do There's no work you won't do better for having got some of this fishing bug out of your system Are you aware of the fact that you are a very wise woman And a very wonderful mother-in-law? What about me? It was my idea Remind me to tell you sometime That you are your mother's daughter and also a very wise woman Thank you Jeff, hike up stairs and change your clothes I've got a pair of waiting boots to lend you Say, Mr. Norton, that'd be great I'll let you use this Leonard Rod Gee, thanks, Mr. Norton I think you're very generous, David Generous? With all the work you have to do to take Jeff fishing So unselfish of you Well, I wouldn't say that Breaks my heart What, my generosity? No, Jeff, in the way he's feeling Getting expelled from school Somehow I can't think of that boy as a cheat There wasn't any mistake about it, though He was talking to me last night But he's bright, he doesn't have to cheat That's what puzzles me, he's great to a good as gold Generating circumstance There probably was However, the particular code of Roger and Jeff Could more easily condone murder Than it could cheating But he's a good boy Mama divides things into good things and bad things Mama is, as I said a moment ago A very wise old duck I'm already, Mr. Norton Be right with you, the rest of the gear's in the hall closet Goodbye, darling When they get back, I know more about men who go fishing Than you do, Claudia We sure will And we'll have some hamburger steak in the ice box Just for insurance, pessimist Just a wise old duck The man I happen to have been married to Your father used to go fishing on occasion Six o'clock What do you suppose has happened to them? They're fishing, but at this hour? Your father would sometimes fish in the dark If the fish were biting And sometimes when they weren't I'm glad we had some hamburger steak Hey, we're home Well, you two look a sight Jeff went in over his waiters And got soaking I'll take a hot bath And get into some dry things immediately That's just what he's going to do, immediate Oh, I'm all right Mr. Norton caught them Jeff hooked a really big one, huge It got away See, three fish and four ground people It's a good thing we have hamburger ready Hamburger and trout, it's a good combination I've eaten it before The true mother-in-law of a fisherman Hike along, Jeff, and get out of those wet things And into a hot tub I won't be long, but you had a good time Had a great time Oh, David, the tip of your rod It's broken Things like that happen My second best now I've got another tip Anyway, it was well worth it Must have been a very big fish It was, mama It was a wonderful experience In half an hour You can't cook up a great mess of fish Like you brought home in the twinkle of an eye All right, twinkle eyes I want to make a telephone call The picture of a happy man Operator Operator, long distance I want North Haven, Massachusetts The Wine Gate School Yes, a person to person To Dr. Brainard Private? No, no Mind if I sit down the arm of your tear? What's up? You usually choose my lap It isn't easy to talk on the telephone With someone on your lap Thoughtful of you? I thought you'd appreciate it Hello? Hello? Yes, Dr. Brainard Dr. Brainard personally, please What was it that swallowed the wine? What was it that swallowed the wine? What was it that swallowed the what That looked so self-satisfied about it? The cat that swallowed the mouse Well, what happened? Well, oh, hello Dr. Brainard This is David Norton speaking David Norton I have read your book About fishing the wet fly upstream Yes Silly, the great modern miracle Of the telephone reduced to two grown men Talking about fish Would you like your trout cook, David? Broiled with a little bacon? He likes them with a halo And a gold filigree plate Well, the trick is to take up the line So there's no drag Well, Dr. Brainard What I really called you about Was to tell you a fish story He catches a nine inch trout mama And he makes a long distance call To tell the world about it Yes, sir Well, yes, it happened this afternoon A young man you went fishing with a year ago I don't know I'll tell you his name later I was up on the bank behind him And he couldn't see me He'd hooked a big one 15, 15, 16 inches at the least And he played him like an expert Yes, sir It was a sight to see Well, Mr. Trout connected with a sunken log Yes Yes, well, it's happened to the best of us You're right Well, what happened next Shouldn't have happened to a Leonard rod But that's happened to the best of us too No No No, he didn't break the tackle He went right after it Anyway, he got wet Yes, doctor Oh, it was colder than Greenland's icy shore When he got to the log It was deep, so he went under Oh, yes, yes, the fish was still on No, he hadn't broken free And when he came up, doctor He had the fish in his hands Oh, it was all of 16 inches No No, he didn't He unhooked the fish And slipped it back into the water, doctor As he was dripping water on the bank I asked him why Yes, well He said it wouldn't have been fair to take the fish That fly fishing was a sport That it wouldn't be according to the rules To take him that way And that the fish had outsmarted him And had earned his freedom And a better fisherman would have kept him away from the log Yes, and mind you, doctor He thought nobody was watching him Yes I thought you'd like that story You're teaching a nice brand of sportsmanship In your school, doctor You'd like to go fishing with him again? Well, well Well, that might be difficult to arrange, doctor You see, he was dismissed from school Three days ago for cheating Yes, it's young Jeffrey Killian I'm talking about I know it doesn't hang together And make sense, he was a Yeah He was an A student Well, that doesn't hang together either Well, the family picture is none too happy, doctor The boy worships his father But they're not too close Oh, probably all mixed up With trying to be perfect for his father Well, yes, that's exactly my point It is sort of Unfinished business on the part of the school To err is human Thank you, mother, thank you As to err is human And the school was perhaps a little less Than divine, doctor Yes, I agree with you There's too much in the boy to send him out into the world With the label of a cheat You will? What can I tell him? Well, I don't know which you look forward to more, doctor And, doctor I wouldn't retire from the school Too completely I think the boys need your kind of a man And probably your new headmaster does, too Thank you Well, by the way, is your successor a fisherman? No? Well, maybe you'd better take him out on the stream There's a lot about human nature To be learned on the butt end Of a trout rod Yeah Goodbye, doctor Yes, I'd like to meet you on Whitewater, too, someday David, tell us what did he say What's he going to do? I've just made a date for Jeffrey To go fishing with Dr. Brainard He's to go up to school before it opens Yes And should it happen to rain too hard some morning Dr. Brainard will give Jeff Another examination in American history Hey, Jeff Jeff, hurry on down when you're ready I've got some news for you about a fishing trip You mean we're going fishing again? Say, that's great Well, when it comes about, I may be able to be with you Do you know what I think? Yes, mama That I've married one of the finest, most Wonderful fathers my sons could ever have Sons? Are you expecting to have twins? I'd like to I can't wait to have a whole big family For And I can't wait until they're old enough To go fishing with David Hey, hey, you two How long do we two fishermen Have to wait until dinner? You know, I am famished About 16 years To the dinner I'm thinking about, darling Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Do you ever stop in at your local youth center? Whether they're talking or dancing Or playing games or listening to records There's one thing certain The young folks are drinking Coke For where there's youth There's Coca-Cola That you can depend on And one way to make your house popular With your children is to Keep a good supply of Coke on ice It's a friendly custom And a growing one Gee, Mr. King, isn't Mr. Norton a swell guy? They don't make him any better, Jeff Their kids will be awful lucky I wish my parents... Oh, well I don't know your mother, Jeffrey But I think your dad's a fine man Dad's all right If I saw him more But it's kind of hard for him to have me around Mother not being home much of the time I hate to have to tell her Maybe you won't have to tell her Maybe Claudia and David will do it for you Uh, what would you say If your mother were to show up here tomorrow? Oh, she won't show up That's not like mother Well, come around tomorrow, Jeff And we'll find out what your mother's really like So on, bud As I was about to say Every day, Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed With the best wishes of your friendly neighbor Who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow At the same time And now this is Joe King saying Olivoire, and remember Whoever you are, whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment Think of Coca-Cola Or Coca-Cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised And directed by William Brown Maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor Who bottles Coca-Cola