 six years married for show, one aggressive wife, zero loyalty, mix in a scarcity mindset. I present to you the recipe of my life. Six solid years of being together devoted to a sacred pact of marriage, us against the world, until a shadow emerged, the cruel reality of her cheating. What we built was suddenly gone, smashed by her unfaithfulness. It was all fake, all the love, the trust, the dreams we shared over the years shattered. Our promise to stand by each other till death do us part seemed like a bad joke now. It hurt, but I had no choice. You'll understand, I had to do what I did. When the like button lets you borrow its favorite book, don't use a bookmark. Instead, simply fold the corner of the page to leave a crease. The following story will be upsetting to cheaters. This is a long story, but I'll try my best to make this short. We'll have to make multiple parts, though, to get the full picture through. My soon-to-be ex-wife, who we will call Lola, and I got married in January 2020. I was 22 at the time, and Lola was 21. We got married in secret, only our close friends knew. At this time, we were living on campus at our university in Miami, both coming from two counties away where our families lived as well. As soon as we got married, it was a toxic nightmare. For starters, she was secretly texting her ex-boyfriend from high school, who we will call Carlos. She stated they were just friends now, but this didn't sit right with me, as this person was also her first one. I'm not the type of person to go into someone's phone as I wanted to trust her. However, she started trying her hardest to hide her phone screen from my point of view, and whenever I touched her phone, she would go crazy. At some point, I was able to figure out her passcode and check her messages. However, I wasn't able to find any proof to follow up on this. Fast forward to March 2020, the pandemic hits, and everyone is forced to move back home. We were in a weird position, as we still haven't told our families, so we wore our rings in secret. Everything was seemingly okay until the first week of April 2020. She just randomly stated she wanted a divorce. It shattered my heart to hear that, as I cried and begged her to stay. I tried asking where did I go wrong, or if I wasn't doing enough for her. She just stated she just didn't love me anymore, and that she wasn't the one for me. For about a week, I was trying my best to save our marriage. I was at her mercy to try to make things work out, but she's extremely stubborn. At the end of that rough week, I decided to finally accept that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. It was hard to accept, but I figured we shouldn't drag this along anymore. I only asked for her to return the wedding rings I gave her, however she refused to give them back, as she stated. It was a gift for her, and she was entitled to keep them. Legally speaking, she may have been right. However, I didn't feel like she deserved to keep them, because they were no longer going to be together. The rings were real. I was on a payment plan for them for about three years, with only four months in so far. We argued about this over the phone, to the point I hung up and cried myself to sleep in bed. Later I spoke to my mother, and she asked what was going on. I confessed everything to her, and she held me in her arms and told me everything was going to be okay. The next day we both went to Lola's home and we confronted her mother and told her the truth as well. It became an argument between our mothers, with Lola still upstairs refusing to see me, but was texting me asking what the hell was going through my mind to get our families involved. It was then agreed by our mothers that the rings would be given back to me, but on another day. About two days later I get a call while at work from Lola. She was crying stating that her mother was kicking her out, because she got married in secret. She stated she still loved me and was willing to give us another try, agreeing to cut off Carlos, and that we should move in together and live as a married couple. Being the idiot in love, I rushed out of work to meet up with her, and then we immediately started looking into apartments in the area. I was able to get us an apartment that was fairly cheap due to the pandemic, and the move-in date was within three days. When I got home I told my parents the news that my mother was not happy about this. She explained that I was making a mistake, that I needed to rethink all this. My father was disappointed, but stated it's my life, my choice. For the next few days my friends helped me move things from my place and I barely talked to my parents within those days. It was heartbreaking for my mother the most, and it hurt me seeing my mother upset as well. The first day in, I felt like our marriage was finally moving in the direction, and I was finally feeling that happiness I was feeling before she told me she wanted to divorce me. However, that happiness did not last long. A few weeks after moving in, we get invited out for some drinks, and when we got back home, I went through her phone to find conversations between her and a different ex, who we will call Tanner. The messages went back as far as around the time she asked for a divorce, and this made my legs crumble. I got on the bed, however. I woke her up by splashing water on her and started screaming at her. She was confused as she was still tipsy, but I was furious and yelled at her for over two, three hours. At one point I demanded her to leave, as she was starting to come back to her senses. She began swinging at me and chasing me around the apartment, actually punching me a few times and viciously clawing at me. I'm not a violent person at all. I took the abuse and just locked myself in the room to keep her away from me. She turned from aggression to hysterically crying and begging me to forgive her, to the point she was on her knees and stated she would do anything to make up for it. We just began arguing and then slowly into talking about this situation through the bedroom door. Eventually, we both calmed down and went to bed as it was 4 a.m. when this was happening. I didn't sleep, however, but as soon as I found she woke up with only half the memory from what happened overnight. I repeated yelling everything back to her again, but this time she was sober enough to know what was going on and again pleaded for me to stay. She cried, stating she had nowhere else to go. In that moment I hated her so much as I feel she stole me away from my family, my friends and my life. About what I saw in the messages, there was nothing that stated they've done anything physical, however, there were conversations that had sexual tensions, such as her calling Tanner sexy and Tanner stating they should send each other videos which I still consider cheating. After further arguing, I told her as long as she promises nothing happened between her and Tanner, I better not see her talking to Tanner ever again, or I will leave her this time. She pleaded that nothing ever happened, but during the same conversation I asked if anything had happened between her and Carlos, she paused and said, No. It was this moment I knew I had to investigate this further. My gut told me this was only the beginning of what was to come next and my world would be turned upside down. I'll explain more on this later. Following my previous post, we are now in May 2020 when I asked if anything happened between her and Carlos. No. The way she answered made me suspicious. To add on a little bit more when we first moved in April 2020, I was working at a call center about an hour away from our apartment from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. She was not working due to her job being closed, so I had to start doing Uber Eats, Postmates and DoorDash, which would usually be between 8 p.m. and 2 a.m. after work or whenever on my days off from work. Also, after the first night we moved in, I was given the cold shoulder from her every night. While I'm working she would text me cute things such as her repeatedly saying she loves me and waiting for me to come home to cuddle. However, once I got home she would barely touch me or look at me which led to my discovery about her and Tanner. Anyways, now we're in June 2020 weeks after the incident. At this point I'm keeping my distance from her, keeping my same work routine while also trying to finish college classes online. She was not working yet but whenever I came home it was never cleaned up unless I did it. Around this time she also adopted a mini golden doodle but when we moved in I brought my Malshi along with us who she loved dearly until our doodle came around also giving him the cold shoulder. Malshis are the friendly, loyal and cuddly cross of the Maltese and the Shih Tzu. For the next few months it's been nothing but the same routine. We tried to talk and go out on dates but it always ended in silence. I tried to break the ice and see if we can work it out but she never wanted to express herself. Little by little I felt my love for her going away as I became numb to her treatment towards me. That was until October 2020 when she finally opened up to me. She apologized for her treatment towards me the past few months. We felt like we were both ready to leave the past behind and just focus on us now. It was us against the world. This felt more powerful when I caught COVID the following month where she cared for me the way a wife should. She ended up catching it from me once I recovered and I returned the favor. After that we started acting more like husband and wife. She finally started getting into my hobbies such as video games, anime, art and photography even coming along with me during my late night deliveries where we would vibe out to music and she would help as well. We discovered new things about each other, went on dates and honestly it felt heartwarming being in her presence again. That spark between us was finally coming back but I still had a secret grudge against her actions as it was hard to move on from it. All was going good until a few days before Valentine's Day 2021 where I made another discovery. These past months I still secretly went through her phone every now and then but honestly never found anything between her and Tanner besides what I already knew. However I decided this time to take it a step further and look at messages between her and her bestie who Lola would constantly send all the gossip to with long messages and screenshots. Going through the messages made my heart sank even more when I found more details about her and Carlos. Turns out that Lola and Carlos slept together a few days before she asked me for a divorce and this was actually the real reason for her asking me for the divorce. As I kept reading turns out Lola and Carlos had a conversation sometime in October I guess for some closure between them which is why she finally decided to give us a shot. Oddly enough I was not surprised this time. I woke her up from her nap and just straight up confronted her about what I just read in a surprisingly calm tone. She started crying and apologizing again and then I just stepped out and went for a drive to clear my mind. Many dark thoughts were going through my head feeling like I had no one to turn to. For the next few days I avoided her as much as possible. We still slept in the same bed but there was no physical touch between us. Now Valentine's Day morning I get a couple of nudges from her in a cutesy tone asking what did I plan for her today. Keep in mind I'm extremely exhausted from work and deliveries from the whole week and obviously I'm still heartbroken and feeling betrayed. She notices my reaction and starts crying saying that I didn't plan anything out for her. Once I heard that I jumped out of bed and began scolding her about how crazy as hell she has to be to think I would do anything for her after what I just discovered. I yelled at her how she does not deserve anything from me and how our marriage is a total disaster. Now you may be wondering why am I even still here with her. Well at this point in my life I honestly did not have the energy for anything. I was completely blank a complete 180 from the person I used to be. I used to be creative, make drawings and paintings do photography and videography and always looked forward to the next adventure. But I was hollow feeling like what's the point of life. I know I'm stupid for this but I just felt like it was just easier to hide it from the world. We were already so deep into the marriage life that it felt like there was no going back because if I did then what would I do now? It was a dead end for me and I blame myself for relying on her to make me happy despite also making me the saddest. Doesn't mean I forgave her or anything I just became more numb. So after this discovery we again entered another period of keeping our distance. Around April 2021 she took a trip to Peru with her grandmother and honestly I was a little excited to have the place to myself for a change. I told my friends the news and they began showing up to my place frequently while she was away, not knowing what I know. They made me feel like my old self again doing our old late night shenanigans and old activities like game nights watching movies or just hanging out. I loved the happiness I was getting back even if it was for a moment. At the same time the lease on our apartment was up by the end of May 2021 and I've been speaking to my father about my possibilities. That same month my mother went up to Chicago to spend time with family members for the remainder of the year and my dad came up with the idea of letting me and Lola stay at their home while he follows her to Chicago. I agreed but Lola wasn't so enthusiastic about it. However I didn't need her approval it was either here or having our rent twice the price from before for another whole year. So I moved back in with my parents June 2021. Lola is still in Peru but was returning in the next few weeks. I finally felt at home again moving back into my old room and seeing the layout that represented my spirited youth. I once had. I enjoyed my last few weeks of freedom but I knew this happiness wasn't going to last forever as Lola returned from her trip from Peru. The next part of this story is where shit really hits the fan. Almost costing me my life. So now it's July 2021. Lola and I are living at my parents home. I started a new job in sales and was able to advance pretty quickly to a supervisor role within two, three months which paid well enough to afford my dream car. As for my marriage we had a steady relationship for the remainder of the year. We had our good and bad moments but overall it was still a blank feeling I had. I didn't know what I felt towards Lola whether it was anger, sadness, depression. I just felt like the marriage was just existing for no reason. By the start of 2022 there was a bit of reconciliation between us enough for us to start going out on dates again. We opened up more but we were still wondering where our marriage stood. Everything was seemingly okay until May 2022 where my life flashed before my eyes. I invited my friends over for a hangout at my parents place to watch a boxing match. I told Lola about it and stated how it will be only for a few hours and to expect some screaming as we get passionate about sports and she was okay with it. As the fight kept going we kept getting louder and louder to the point she was angrily texting me to keep the noise down. She would come out to grab snacks or used the bathroom only to keep slamming the door back to the room. After the fight one of my friends' truck had a dead battery so I used my car to jump it. While we're jumping it the four of us kept conversating for about another half hour. While we were talking Lola demanded me through text to come inside repeatedly to which I texted back that we're finishing up. As I'm just about to head inside Lola storms outside the house and heads to her car. I asked if everything was okay but she had a very serious look on her face and she angrily pushed me aside. Before leaving to Chicago my dad installed outdoor solar lights in the front yard. The way Lola's car was positioned her only way out was through a grass area that had one of these lights. She revved up her car and before she took off I tried to stop her from running over the light and asked what was wrong. She paused for about five seconds then stepped hard on the gas and almost ran me over. I jumped out the way as fast as I could getting grazed on my knee. She drove off fast dragging the light beneath her car scraping the road. I sat on the ground with a surprised look on my face thinking how she just almost ran me over. My friends helped me up and asked if I was okay. I just looked at them in shock and they offered their help. I told them just to go home while I went back inside shaken up from the moment. I kept calling Lola's phone to see why she did what she did. I go inside our room to find her phone on the ground unlocked. I go through the phone for the first time in months and turns out there were still secrets to find out about Lola. Turns out Lola and Carlos actually had a continuous affair for months ranging from March 2020 to October 2020. I finally felt in my heart and brain and decided to do what needed to be done a long time ago. It's about 2 a.m. I was still freaking out about this incident. I repeatedly called my sister who lives down the road from me about what just happened but with no response. Lola returns and tries to enter the home but I managed to lock the door with an additional lock. I sneak out to the back and drive over to my sister's house while hyperventilating as Lola pursued me. I get to my sister's house knocking but as Lola pulled up in the driveway I began knocking frantically as my sister and her husband finally opened the door. This caused Lola to back off and drive away. I explain the situation to my sister and cried to her about what just happened and finally opened up about how she cheated on me in the past. It was a hard pill to swallow but I was ready to finally let this marriage go. I asked her to accompany back home to make sure Lola doesn't try to hurt me again as she can get aggressive. When we get there Lola was already packing up her belongings. I kept my distance for about five minutes then asked her to give me back the rings and the keys. She already expected this as she had them in her pocket and gave them to me. She grabbed her suitcase and took our golden doodle with her. My sister and I talked a bit longer and then she finally goes home. That night was a long one for me. I slept at about 6 a.m. only to be woken up about 7 a.m. to knocking on my window. It's Lola. She spent the remainder of the night in her car and asked if I could at least take back the golden doodle inside. As much as I wanted to I ignored her. This went on for about 30 minutes. Later on I reached out and met up with her to talk about the situation. I finally told her about everything I knew and decided it would be better for us to separate. She cried and begged me to let us work this out but I was tired of the emotional and physical abuse all these years. The lies, the heartbreaks, everything. As toxic as it sounds what followed afterwards for Lola was actually satisfying as I felt like it was karma for everything she has put me through. I will sound like a prick in the next part but I believe I deserve a genuine laughter for once. Lola moves back in with her mother but not for long as she does not get along with her stepfather and has too much pride to be living under her mother's roof again. She ends up finding her own place in August 2022 stating that if I ever wanted to make it work out I was always welcome to move back in with her. My parents came back from Chicago about a week after we separated. A majority of the furniture in our bedroom was hers as she made me throw out my items such as my bed and drawers and replaced them with hers as it looked more classy. Besides the bedroom we had a couch, tables, kitchen appliances, etc. All boxed away in another room in the house the day she told me she was coming to take her belongings my father and I left everything out in the driveway but did not bother to help them move anything into the truck. She brought along her mother, stepfather, her uncle and her two aunts who I would say are not all physically strong people. Her grandma was also there to mostly watch but helped with little things to move. What took my father and I about 30 minutes to move and maneuver out of the house took them two to three hours to put in a truck. We peeped through the window having a few drinks and laughed about how they were struggling while they were all talking badly about me and my family. I don't know why they included my family but then again, they're a family who talk badly about everyone and everything. When Lola moved into her apartment she was working a new job she got through her field of study which paid well by the hour but didn't provide enough hours. She had too much pride to work a second job as she felt like this was beneath her. Because of this, she struggled to keep up with her rent, electricity, water bill, car payments, insurance, etc. She reached out to me a couple of times asking for money but I refused to help her as I felt like her financial problems had nothing to do with me. Lola would try to manipulate me into giving her money saying I shouldn't let our golden doodle suffer along with her to which I replied that she should go ask her lover for money. What about her mother? Well, I was surprised to learn later on that she told her mother the truth and her mother took my side and stated she would not be giving her money either. The rest of her family still hated me for not wanting to work it out after she cheated but their opinions don't matter because none of them are married themselves. Months went by we were still legally married. Lola agreed to go half on the divorce fees but did not have the money. During these discussions she admitted she still had hope for us to work it out as she still had love for me and believed I still loved her back. Call me stupid but I did love her back but I just knew I couldn't keep playing this game anymore. Despite everything she's done to me it was still hard for me to hate her. As this is someone I've grown close with in high school who's helped me when I was at my lowest point in life and made me happier than anyone else ever could yet she still managed to break me and made me feel like I will never be good enough for anyone ever again. We still have each other on social media and even though she claims to be struggling with money she always seems to be out every weekend at the clubs. This usually ends up with her drunk texting or calling me stating she was wrong for how she treated me. Whenever I post on my Instagram or Snapchat stories about being out late at night she's usually the first to see my posts usually within a minute. She acknowledges that I look happier without her. As of now I wouldn't say happy but I do feel like this is what freedom is. Since moving out she's gotten into two car accidents just a few months apart. We're no longer on the same insurance together but she still called me asking if I can financially help her which I refused and told her she was on her own now. I still had her on my phone plan a few months after but decided to disconnect her line without letting her know. Once reconnected she angrily texted me days later about how she lost her number and had to get a new phone because her current phone was still locked with my carrier and she couldn't call to unlock it since I was the account holder. She called me a prick and I couldn't help but laugh about it. I have this ex-girlfriend that I ended off on good terms with. We were friends until Lola and I got married where she forced me to cut off my friendship with her out of fear that my ex would try to get with me again. We started hanging out again and when Lola found out she swears that I only divorced her to get back with my ex. I had no interest in her after the breakup only seeing her as a friend at this point even after Lola and I separated. From what I heard from a mutual friend she tried to get back Tanner who now has a girlfriend and a child. She also tried again with Carlos who now has a girlfriend. Lola would sometimes reach out to me about how she's still behind on certain bills would barely eat, almost got evicted twice and can't afford to care for the golden doodle. If I had to guess she's most likely getting money from her grandmother we would still text from time to time to figure out a court date or days where I still had to give some leftover stuff from home. She would always say she would never find a guy like me and how much she wishes we could try again and regrets her actions. Part of this made me feel happy for Karma. The other part would be feeling sad about how everything led up to this moment. Around March 2023 we went to court to finally file our divorce. While waiting for our turn she stepped out in the hall. I heard her cry her eyes out while I just sat there. After about ten minutes it's finally our turn and we began signing away. Ever since then we just now talk with a few texts once everyone two weeks saying what we have left to say. As for myself I was promoted to manager a month after we separated. I stayed in this position until November 2022 as I was overworked to the point of getting no sleep. I was able to find a better paying job, one that I continue to work for to this day. During the marriage I've gained weight from overeating to help cope with my depression. I've been going back to the gym but need to work on getting a routine. I have big plans with my friends for the summer and myself for later this year. It's now June 2023 I wouldn't say life is perfect but whenever I'm having a bad day I think about how Lola's life is basically falling apart now ever since we parted ways. Makes me feel like she deserves to feel what I felt for more than six years. I'm an asshole for thinking this way about her but at least my life is finally going in the right direction and hopefully continues that way. And she could see how happy I can be without her. Just for a few clarifications I had to cut this section out of part four to be able to post it. If there are any other questions I can try to answer them as well. The history of Lola and I dates back to our high school days. There are more details about how Lola and I first met up to the point where we got married. Looking back on it we always had a toxic relationship but that's not to say it was all bad. We had our great moments as well. As for how our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship went when I married her I'll explain that another time if necessary. I appreciate the feedback both good and bad. Like I said before I was a dumbass who thought everything would magically work out. I don't know if I would call this outcome a win for me but at least I can finally start over now. To the readers who think this is made up I don't have the time or capability to come up with a story like this. I'm posting my experience as a way for me to get this off my chest. I'm not the best when it comes to expressing myself in person and Reddit probably isn't the best place to do it. But posting here with other people who had similar experiences made it easier for me. Thanks for still actually reading all these long posts. Sadly this isn't my first rodeo. There's a relationship I had before this that broke me and made me who I am today. Sounds dramatic but that's the best way to put it. I'm open to talking about it one day. For those who don't know the story I have several posts about my wife and I on my page if you want to read them. I apologize for the length of the posts. Anyways today I am going to court to meet up with my wife who we're calling Lola. She texted me on Monday June 26th to remind me that we have court today June 30th. Yesterday she gave me one more reminder and also asked for a few things I still had of hers. I asked for some things in return. We still follow each other on social media where we see each other's stories. I don't actively snoop. I just happen to see her posts while viewing other stories. I suspect she has a new boyfriend now or at least she is working towards it as she has been posting text messages between her and the same guy. I don't believe it's intended to make me jealous but knowing her she enjoys the attention. She did the same thing when we were starting to date. However I don't harbor any feelings of jealousy or resentment towards her. I'm actually relieved she's moving on. The way I see it someone else is now inheriting my old problems. They have no idea the type of turmoil they're getting into. All I can say is good luck. They're going to need it. As for the court I actually feel excited about it. I can continue to move on with my life and she can finally be out of the picture. She has mentioned that even after the divorce we can still be friends mostly because of the golden doodle we co-own. Despite my love for the dog I have the need to let all of this go. After we finalize everything I plan to block her on all social media platforms so I don't have to see or hear about her again. As for me I haven't tried to meet anyone new. I don't really have the energy or desire to try again. The main things holding me back are trust issues and my own insecurities. Historically in my relationships it's always been the woman who made the first move on me including Lola. I have the need to change this pattern but for now my primary focus is on work and the bills that I'm close to paying off. One of my friends is now training me at the gym. So far I've lost 10 pounds. My friend Group and I are going on a summer trip next week. We have multiple locations to visit within our state. So yeah life is good so far I'll try to provide an update on how the court proceedings went afterwards. Holy moly OP! I got caught up on your life story and believe what you've gone through. You've been put through the emotional ringer with her. I can't understand why she thinks you could be friends after that. And for her to blame you for her problems shows exactly what kind of person she is. Self-centered. She won't take accountability for her actions in the breakdown of your relationship. I'm so glad that your life is moving in a positive direction and you intend to block her completely after the divorce. I'm sure that'll be a weight off your mind. As for meeting someone, it'll take time. Take as long as you need. Work on yourself to be the best you can be before looking for someone meaningful. All the best moving forward OP. My ex-wife cheated. I filed for divorce and it was the best decision ever. At the time I thought it was the worst thing that could happen to me. I was embarrassed, hurt and felt that being divorced was embarrassing. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Since then I traveled the world, opened a business, retired for a couple of years in my 30s to live overseas, met someone new, had kids and became a millionaire. My divorce was in 2016 so it's been an amazing seven years. Dude, I've never been married but I've been through something similar and your train of thought is how I've always been. Man, this gives me hope to overcome because there are others like me going through it. It's good to know you're not alone in a situation. It's a learning experience for everyone. My advice is if there's red flags in a relationship then work them out before marriage. Honestly, all of that was your fault. You're a doormat who is used to making lame excuses not to stand up for yourself and allowing a woman to disrespect you, right to your face. I'm not even sad for you. I'm cringed out. You two were truly made for each other. A woman who hooks up with other guys at every chance she gets and a doormat who allows it. I'm glad that you finally grew a spine and divorced her but I'm sure that if the next girl you start dating does the same, you will do the same again. No, I won't do it again next time. Sorry for the late update. I've been working overtime like crazy but today I have time. On Friday, June 30th, we get to the courthouse and wait for our turn with the clerk. After about three minutes we get called and there's only one chair for us to sit down. I take the chair for myself and even though I'm not looking at her I can feel Lola staring at me hard. She says, can I at least sit down? To which I respond, then grab a chair and she just says whatever and stands up. We explain the reason for our divorce. We're not fighting for anything, just simply separating. A couple of times the lady had to walk back and forth or type something into the computer. During those moments, she would say little remarks like she can't wait to get rid of me, that it was me who trapped her into a marriage and that I never satisfied her, etc. Not to sound cocky, but I know she was saying most of that stuff to mask what she really felt. I know this because she followed up that she hopes I have fun with my ex who we're still friends with but like I said before I have no interest in but she swears I'm in love with her. While we kept going back and forth the clerk was trying so hard not to laugh. We pay the fee and now we just have one more court date in one to two months. It was raining when we walked out so we still discussed a few things. The main thing she asked for is if I could watch the Golden Doodle in August while she goes on a trip out of the country. I said it's not possible for me and she followed that by calling me a beat dog dad and declaring that I will never see him again. Then she left. Here's the kicker. Yesterday Lola asked if I could watch the Golden Doodle for today to which I can't agree because I have to work even though it's the 4th of July. Moreover today is her birthday. She won't be getting a happy birthday from me though. Also her family does not celebrate birthdays especially her mother and stepfather because they're both Jehovah's Witnesses. Her only real option is her best friend who's most likely going to do something with her boyfriend rather than with Lola. So yeah now I'm at work waiting for two more days before my vacation. Nothing really different is going on from the last update. A dead beat dog dad, that's hilarious. Do people really split custody of animals? She said the same thing when we had a hamster. First of all, congratulations my guy. I know it's not easy to keep composed in the situation but you did well. The advice I would give you is to either take the dog full time or not see it at all. It will hurt less and you should go completely zero dark 30 on her. If you don't have kids or anything there's no reason to keep in contact. Change your number, start working out and keep doing and pushing it work as you seem to be doing. If I were you I'd probably sleep with the X to be honest. No strings attached but all presses just wait until the divorce is finalized. Thank you. Once everything is situated I don't plan on seeing her again even if it hurts not seeing the dog since I do love him. Also one small thing I forgot to mention in my post. The clerk told both of us congratulations on the divorce. It made me smile hard and Lola just awkwardly smiled back. The clerk was a savage for this. Pain will make how you handle and will set who you are in the future. Only when you do what you're supposed to do when in pain do you understand how life goes forward. Get another dog if you have to but be with your friends for now. Calling a deadbeat dog dad is only logic in this generation. That's hilarious. That wraps it up folks. But now I'm curious to what your take on this story is. Did our guy play his cards right? Do you consider him to be a deadbeat dog dad? OP's story shows a lot of deceit and toxicity. But he chose to stick around and give Lola multiple chances. What do you think about this? Is love enough of a reason to withstand such behavior from a wife of over six years? Let Royal AI know. I'll join the conversation. Don't forget. When the like button lets you borrow its favorite book, don't use a bookmark. Instead simply fold the corner of the page to leave a crease. See you in the next one.