 to present the president of the United States. Thank you. Thank you very much. Please. Thank you all, and I'm delighted to be here. What a crowd. Looks like the index of Larry Speaks' book. It's good to see Norm Sandler and your incoming president, Jeremiah Jerry O'Leary. In his book, Larry said that Jerry used to fill his coat pockets with pastry. Jerry denies it. Earlier tonight, just to be safe, I told him to keep his hands off my dinner roll. Larry also said that preparing me for a press conference was like reinventing the wheel. That's not true. I was around when the wheel was invented, and it was easier. But even Howard Baker's writing a book about me. It's called Three by Five, The Measure of a Presidency. Mike Devers in his book said that I had a short attention span. Well, I was going to reply to that, but what the hell, let's move on to something else. Now, I forgot to acknowledge Yakov Smirnov. I've heard him before, and he's a very funny man. And I just have an idea here. Why don't you and I have a little fun? How would you like to go to the summit as my interpreter? The media certainly have had a lot to report on lately. I thought it was extraordinary that Richard Nixon went on Meet the Press and spent an entire hour with Chris Wallace, Tom Brokaw, and John Chancellor. That should put an end to that talk that he's been punished enough. And of course, you've been reporting on the New York primary. I'm afraid that Dukakis foreign policy views are a little too far left for me. He wants no U.S. military presence in Korea anymore, no U.S. military presence in Central America, and no U.S. military presence at the Pentagon. Dukakis got great news today, though, about the Jimmy Carter endorsement. He isn't getting it. George Bush is doing well. George has been a wonderful vice president, but nobody's perfect. I put him in charge of anti-terrorism, and the McLaughlin group is still on the air. But with so much focus on the presidential election, I've been feeling a little lonely these days. I'm so desperate for attention, I almost considered holding a news conference. I've even had time to watch the Oscars. I was a little disappointed in that movie, The Last Emperor. I thought it was good to be about Don Regan. Of course, I still have lots of work here. There's that Panamanian business going on. One thing I can't figure, if the Congress wants to bring the Panamanian economy to its knees, why doesn't it just go down there and run it? Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last White House Correspondence dinner that I'll be attending. We've had our disagreements over the years, but the time I've spent with you has been very educational. I used to think the fourth estate was one of Walter Annenberg's homes. As my goodbye, I'm not going to stand up here and deliver one of those worn-out sentimental homilies about the press and the presidency. Neither of us would believe it. A president may like members of the press personally, and I do. Jerry and Norm and Johanna and Lou and so many others of you. But a president institutionally seeks to wield power to accomplish his goals for the people. The press complicates the wielding of that power by using its own great power. And that makes for friction. Every president will try to use the press to his best advantage and to avoid those situations that aren't to his advantage. To do otherwise results in a diminution of his leadership powers. The press is not a weak sister that needs bracing. It has more freedom, more influence than ever in our history. The press can take care of itself quite nicely. And a president should be able to take care of himself as well. So what I hope my epitaph will be with the White House correspondence, what every president's epitaph should be with the press is this. He gave as good as he got. And that I think will make for a healthy press and a healthy presidency. And I think all that's left to say is to thank you for inviting me and thank you for your hospitality. Thank you, Mr. President. Like you, I'll not dwell on the fact that this is your last correspondence association dinner or at least your last official.