 Ladies and gentlemen, the Dennis Day Show. Yes, it's Dennis Day with Robert R. Brewster in the orchestra, and Dennis Special Guest, Rosemary Clooney and Jimmy Durante. And now, here he is, the star of our show, Dennis Day. This is a big night for me, a new radio show for a new sponsor, as an important occasion, and to tell you the truth, I'm a little nervous. Oh, come, come, come, Dennis. Why should you be nervous? After all, more people paid more money to see you at the Sahara in Las Vegas this summer. than any other star they ever hired. Well, Jimmy, never did so many pay so much for so long to get so little. Oh, don't be so modest. How about telling the people about the new Dennis Day Show? All right, Jimmy, we're going to do a show for everybody. We'll have wonderful guests and one of the best announcers in the business. You all know Jimmy Wallington, and you've all listened to the fine radio shows he's appeared on. And we're going to have one of the outstanding musicians in show business to lead our orchestra, Bobby Ambruster. That was a very generous introduction. Well, believe me, Bobby, it was straight from the heart. To a singer, the music, and the orchestra is everything. It is? Yes, sir. You're the most valuable member on this show. Boy, wait till I get home and tell my wife. She says I'm nothing. Great job. Oh, I tell you, you could charm the birds out of the trees, charm candy away from little boys and girls and make a beautiful young woman forget her lover. Well, I see a beautiful young woman and I'm ready to try when you give the word. Who? Miss Rosemary Clooney, star of Paramount Pictures, top recording star. Yeah, in general, all-around girl. Thank you, Dennis. If there's anything I'm proud I am, it's an all-around girl. And if Christian Dior is listening, no, no, you can't take that away from me. You know, Rosemary, I've had something on my mind to tell you for a long time. What is it for goodness' sake? Well, it was one of your big hit records and I want to say here and now, I'm ready. I have a feeling I'm leading with my chin, but you're ready for what? You said, come on to my house. Well, Jose and I will be very happy to have you over any time. Well, somehow it doesn't sound like what I had in mind. Oh, come on, Dennis, don't tell me you're a wolf. Oh, of course not. I just happen to love a peach and a pomegranate, too. Say, Dennis, according to my program, Miss Clooney is supposed to sing right here. Well, I'm ready if you are, Bobby. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Miss Rosemary Clooney singing All the Pretty Little Horses. Shall I have... Thank you, Jimmy, for... I understand you're something of a connoisseur of girl singers. Oh, yes, indeed. Collecting records made by female vocalists has been a hobby of mine for years. I had a hobby like that when I was about 16. Collecting records of girl singers? No, collecting girls. And speaking of girls, you and your sister Betty have the disc jockeys all over America talking about the Clooney girls. Do you have any other sisters? No, my sister Betty and I were the only girls in a whole house full of boys. Brothers? How many? Brothers, nothing, boyfriends. I like that much, much better. My mother and dad had nothing but boys. No girls at all? Tell me, Dennis, are any of your brothers in show business? No, brother Jim's a doctor and brother Bill's a dentist. Oh, a medical family? Yep, our family coat of arms is a blue cross surrounded by jewel-encrusted tongue depressors. You know, Dennis, what I missed most about not having any brothers was that I never heard any romantic duets sung around the house. Yeah, the same thing in my house. Hey, Rosemary, why don't we adopt each other temporarily and sing one now, huh? Lace. Park. Seen. Dark. Silvery moon is shining through the tree. Is this floating? I heard that duet you recorded with your husband, Jose Ferrer. You mean the two songs called Man and Woman? Yeah, you know, this is libel to set a new pattern. Husband and wife recording teams. Can you imagine a disc jockey playing something by Bogey and Baby? Or... Libby DeRosha and Lorraine Day. Or Tommy Manville and a girl's choir. I'd love to hear in a duet. No, who? Ronald Coleman and his wife, Benita. Rosemary? No sooner said than sung. Call me Benita and I'll be Ronnie. Now, what is it, Benita? You're two hours late for our vocal rehearsal. What delayed you? Ah, Benita, my dear, I stopped off and played a few rounds with Ike. That wasn't cricket. It wasn't golf either. I thought you were here. Shall we rehearse for our gramophone record? Act one, scene one. Couple meeting for a spot of tea. Ah, act one, scene two. Will you pass the marmalade to me? Something sweet to make your heart go bump. Ah, yes, dear, yes, dear. All I take is just one lump. By the light of the Manchester moon. We love to spoon while we're munching on the Mac, our room. Then we'll flit round the town for a bit. Ah, yes. While we doggedly slog through the Manchester park. The number one song of the day. Stop the music, stop the music. Why should I make that song a big hit? Sut Ralsen would still be Pablo. I think bubbling, refreshing, and as my friend Commander Whitehead would say, Shwepper Vessence. Shwepper of Vessence. Shwepper of Vessence. You know, I spell it for you, Dennis, but the studio closes at midnight. But that is neither Mamma nor Chevyce. Right, Mamma Chevyce. I brought over a song that composed myself and I want you to sing it with me. Jimmy, you compose the song? I'll answer that in the negative. Yes. For three months I worked on the song with the greatest musical songwriter of all time. Who, Berlin? Berlin? No, Umbriago. Well, let me be the first to congratulate you, Jimmy. Your song will probably be a big seller. Indubitably. You know it compares with the sextet from I Love Lucia? The quartet from Rigelmortus? Where'd them words that give it to me here? Indubitably. It compares with the sextet from I Love Lucia. The quartet from Rigelmortus and the quintet from the Harlem Globe track. Wait a minute, Jimmy. You're talking about classical music. If I remember correctly, you only sing popular songs. Dennis, your memory's bad. But, Jimmy, you don't have the type of voice for operatic areas. I always sing operatic areas. Your ears are bad. Oh, so you're along here. Your eyes are bad, too. You know, for your information, Dennis, this summer I electrified the Hollywood Bowl. You did? Yeah, a million, three other electricians. I got a million of them, a million of them. Harvey had the ink dried on my manuscript when the office started pouring in. Rodgers and Hammerstein wanted my song for a show. Daryl Zanik wanted it for a movie and I even got an offer from Liberace. What did Liberace want with your song? He needed the paper, the lightest candleabra. George has shut short fingers. Tell me, Dennis, how did you and Umbriago go about writing your song? Tell me, Dennis, give me my right name, even. Will you please? James has the name. Tell me, Dennis, have you got enough name in the thing already? Tell me, James. Sure. One more show with me. We'll be able to do a radio show. James, how did you and Umbriago go about writing your song? Well, Umbriago borrowed a few notes from Cole Porter. He took some lines from Hoguey Carmichael, a couple of bars from Oscar Hammerstein, and some choice rhymes from Nick Kenney. What did he get? 90 days for plagiarism. By the way, Jimmy, what's the title of your song? I'm glad you asked, Dennis, because I've been waiting to say something about the songs they write nowadays. Shaboom, up-shoop, and gilly-gilly-uff-and-theft cast an alley broken by the sea. Now, what do those songs mean? Nothing. Now, when I write a song, it makes sense. All right, Jimmy, but what's the name of your song? In-ka-dink-a-do. Say, Mr. Durante. What is it, Mr. Armsbrusher? What about this arrangement you gave me? Don't tell me there's something wrong with it. I orchestrated that symphony all alone. And it wasn't easy. I can't write. Well, I'm not sure the boys in my orchestra can play this. Son, you're too young to worry. Just throw that arrangement out for them musicians and let's take pot luck. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. Oh, what a tune. Oh, crony. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I heard my echo in this room. What's the usual about that? The echo sounds better than me. Now, listen. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. Wait a minute. Nothing. It's got the whole world's footmen. Somebody has forged in my voice. Well, it ain't me. Boy, you know, Dennis, you've been a tenor all these years. Is your voice changing? Who, me? My voice is the envy of the operatic world. I'm the Republican Party's answer to Margaret Truman. Well... Wait a minute. Stop the music. A fraud is being penetrated on the people. Don't imitate me and they just ain't room in this town for two Durans. Yeah, that's right. One of us has got to go. With both of us talking like this, nobody will ever know which twin is the phony. Okay, Dennis. Let's toss the harmony around. And the last guy to finish is a butt. Yeah. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. Oh, what a tune. Oh, crony. Yeah, great. Great. In-ka-dink-a-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. It's got the whole world screwed in. You know, Dennis, you know when you asked me to go on your program, I was going to ask you, tell me who you're working for now. The same bunch, the wife and kids. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. In-ka-dink-a-do. You sang beautifully, and your diction was flawless. Why not? I once took electrician lessons. You know, they spelled these words wrong. I once took electrocution lessons. You mean you took lessons in the proper way to speak and enunciate? You really didn't need them. I know, but they wanted the correct one-fourth. They said I talked through my nose. You know, last week they told me to pronounce the word anti-dress-to-establishment-tazerism. But it was no use. I still talked through my nose. Well, how did it sound? I don't know. It hasn't come out yet. Elocution lesson in your whole life. Rosemary Cooney. You know, Dennis, my boy, you've been holding out on me. You had a beautiful woman here, and you had your boys hold her back. Next time, let her go. I like to fight them off myself. Jimmy, you're the most attractive man in Hollywood. Let's not hash over the same old story. What's new? Wait a minute, Rosemary. Do you really think Jimmy is the most attractive man in Hollywood? Of course I do. Look at those beautiful, romantic eyes of his. Close together and beady, but bubbling over with sex appeal. Wonderful nose. To the men who climb Mount Everett, you'll never plant a flag of England on this peak. All right, Dennis, go about your business and sing. I'm gonna hum to Rosemary in a quiet corner and just play the driver crazy. What a catastrophe. I played me away. If a maid refused me with tossing curls, I'd let the old earth take a couple of whirls. When our guests will be Rochester and Peggy King. Rochester and Peggy King? Join us then, would you? This is Rosy Clooney. And Nosy Durante. On a rosy, nosy day, sing every song.