 The narcissist doesn't get over you, they don't return to their usual state of health or happiness after having a bad or unusual experience with you, they don't overcome their problems and difficulties before the narcissist even met you, they already had a lot of emotional baggage from their childhood or past relationships and that was what they brought into their relationship with you, that is why things turned out in the way that they did because from what they've learned, they think that's how you're supposed to treat people, they think it's okay and they want you to think that they've moved on and they're so much happier without you they want everyone to think that you were the problem and it's just not true, the narcissist doesn't get over you, they want you to think that they do in most situations the narcissist will act like they got over you overnight even if they were with you for years they've been gaslighting you for such a long period of time that you no longer trust yourself you no longer trust your own perceptions, you're willing to believe anything they tell you because they have trained you to trust their validation so even if it's been one day and they tell you they've moved on and they're happy without you you might believe it because you don't trust your own intuition but just think about that for a moment if you have been with someone for years, are you really going to be able to get over them overnight? does that sound probable or realistic? even though the narcissist may be cold hearted even though they may lack affection and warmth they may lack care and consideration for you it doesn't mean that they will be able to get over you that quickly the narcissist is obsessive by nature they are very possessive and controlling they are addicted to the conveniences you provide to them they are addicted to how you make them feel they're like junkies and that is why they could never leave you alone that is why they used up so much of your time and energy so they're not just going to forget about you that quickly the narcissist cannot give up their addiction without serious withdrawal symptoms the narcissist doesn't get over you they will try to make it look like they have but the fact that they do this so quickly should give it away to you it should make you realize that it's not real because it takes time to move on they jump from one person to the next because for a moment it helps to suppress what they're really feeling but it never goes away which is why the narcissist can often seem so bitter and resentful after the discard they will often try to take revenge on you they will enforce flying monkeys and start a smear campaign against you and yet at the same time they expect you to believe that they've moved on and they're happy well that's just not something a happy person would do the truth is they're still attached to you and they can't let go in many cases they believe their own lies they've tricked themselves into thinking that you did them wrong or that you didn't do enough of them and they want you to think that it doesn't bother them they want you to think that they've moved on and they're so much happier without you but the fact that they're making all of this effort to get you to see them in this light should be a red flag to you because if they were really happy you would never see them again they wouldn't be talking to people about you you would never hear anything about them they wouldn't keep popping up in your life they would just leave you alone the reason why they keep coming back is because they're still attached to you they're still bothered by the thought of you moving on and being happy without them and actually they think that you are happy without them they think that your life is so much better without them which is why they are trying to portray this image to you they may even try to cut you down and act like what you're doing isn't that great because in their minds everything is either black or white you're either a winner or a loser and if they see that you're winning in life then they must be the losers narcissists are very good at perception management they are good at altering your perceptions they know how to plan and coordinate the elements of a situation to produce the desired effect they know how to change the way you think or feel about a person's situational event just remember when you first met them when they love bombed you they gave you a mistaken impression they deliberately caused you to believe something that was not true for their own personal gain they promoted a belief concept or idea that was not true they deceived you they tricked you by using dishonest behaviour and then they secured you as their source of supply and what they're doing now is no different they're just fooling someone else and they're trying to fool you it serves two purposes they're trying to hurt you by making you think that they're happy with someone else when really they're just using that person and the new person is either too naive to figure that out or maybe they're just using the narcissist too the narcissist is an illusionist they perform tricks that deceive the eye they make you believe in things that aren't true or real so that they can get the reaction they want from you so they can feel comfortable by knowing that you are also miserable misery loves company and that is why they will try to make you feel miserable just like them by using these tricks and lies it may look like the narcissist has moved on and they're so much happier without you but this couldn't be further from the truth narcissists lack emotional depth they lack the ability to experience real happiness the only time it can even seem like they're enjoying something is when they entertain another delusional grandiose fantasy something that has no basis in reality they can't appreciate the things that really matter in life and even when they are in their little fantasy world it doesn't take much to take them out of it any slight faults or flaws they see in themselves or other people it's enough to remind them that they're still in reality it's enough to make them angry or upset the narcissist will shift through a range of different emotions from one moment to the next they cannot experience consistent happiness and even then it's not real happiness they lack emotional depth they lack the ability to experience real happiness but they want you to think that they're with someone else and they're happy without you they want to hurt you because then that gives them supply it makes them feel better about themselves but that's really the only thing that does make them feel good when they hurt other people when they make them feel bad that's their idea of fun they can't have fun without treating people that way because they don't feel good about themselves so they have to put people down they have to hurt you but even then it's very shallow because they lack emotional depth they don't get to experience the level of happiness that we do because that comes from within it doesn't come from material items or other people and there's nothing within a narcissist they're just an empty void which is why they always needed so much attention from you which is why when it's over they always try to hurt you they're trying to fill themselves up but they can never be filled they can never feel satisfied because they lack emotional depth nothing is ever good enough for them and that is why they left in the first place not because we weren't good enough but because they cannot be satisfied with anything and that is why even when it seems like they found this perfect supply they will always find a way to come back to you they will always find a way to pop up in your life again the discard phase is an illusion they're not happy they never were the only thing that makes these people feel better about themselves is knowing that you can't move on without them knowing that you're still hurting and that is why they will do whatever it takes to hurt you they will try to make you think that they moved on at the drop of a hat they don't care about the truth and reality of the situation they don't want you to know what's really going on with them they don't want to give you the satisfaction but the truth is they are miserable they are struggling and they're thinking that you've got it so much better than they have which is why they're constantly trying to hurt you which is why they're constantly trying to bring you down to their level but you should not entertain things that are beneath you you have to keep moving forward and leave the trash where it belongs get yourself out there and continue along your journey continue on your destined path and purpose and know that sometimes God doesn't always give you what you want because he has something so much better waiting for you thank you for watching I hope this video ends with you please like, comment, share and subscribe click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurvival.uk we can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join our support forum if you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching.narcsurvival.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon