 Good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome along to comedy on campus. My name is Jamie Bond. How about a round of applause for me standing up here? Isn't that exciting? Yeah, we have eight acts on for us tonight. We have eight contestants. That's what we will call them tonight. They won't eat gluten But they will let their dogs lick their mouths But I did as any failed pre-med pre-law pre anything does I switched to commerce Yeah, I'm actually in an open relationship right now with my future girlfriend. It's uh Yeah, I don't know much about her but when I meet her she'll have some explaining to do To me like New Zealand education system is one of the best in the world, right? Like in China I couldn't even pass my year one primary exams But like here I got 28% in my math exam and I came first day I prepare myself to get bulk up so that when things go down and somebody want to fight me I can run Because if you can't catch me, how can you fight me? That's common sense. I Had to go grandma. You've got to stay in there on your own and sleep and nothing else This is this is a retirement home not a singles cruise. Okay And one thing I found that while playing Pokemon go is that certain areas have certain types of Pokemon So Auckland had seats of Zubat's Wellington has each of Weedles Hamilton has heaps of STD's If you go down there, you really will catch them all so just be just watch out You think lasagna is a good diet for cats Garfield. It's not you need to get some whiskers in your son Yeah, you think feeling obesity is a joke Garfield. You think it's a joke like a friend once told me I look like a mixture between Shafu and Osama bin Laden because of this situation going on which is weird being the victim of racial profiling for a completely different race Tonight's winner of comedy on campus 2016 as announced by Jermaine Ross is E-Type in Dumb Round of applause for E-Type E-Type there you go fella Couple tickets to go and see Trevor Noah a Westfield voucher. That's the most exciting part of it