 Item No. SCP-2912 Object Class Neutralized Special Containment Procedures The remains of SCP-2912-1, SCP-2912-2, and SCP-2912-3 are to remain preserved within individual cryogenic storage units at Biological Containment Site-66. SCP-2912 are to be held in isolation within individual humanoid containment units at Biological Containment Site-66. SCP-2912 instances must be fed a strict diet of circus peanuts and sugar water that has been artificially colored purple. Foundation physicians are to remain on standby, despite knowledge of SCP-2912 health and biology being extremely limited at this time. Description SCP-2912 designates three roughly humanoid organisms resembling typical circus clowns, SCP-2912-1, SCP-2912-2, and SCP-2912-3. Genetically close to human, all instances sharing a relatively recent common ancestor and Homo sapiens sapiens, SCP-2912 entities have had undergone severe and varied corporeal and psychological augmentations. All contained instances of SCP-2912 were abruptly neutralized on November 16, 1998. The incident determined to be entirely accidental, with blame placed on POI-4569's failure to communicate relevant information to Foundation personnel. SCP-2912-1 Overview An almost entirely spherical body, a complete lack of a skeletal system. While its legs, arms, and head did exist, they were found to be vestigial and heavily atrophied. Closely resembling an air-filled balloon, SCP-2912-1 was able to transport itself through the air via an internal gas bladder, created from the left lung so grossly enlarged that it occupied the majority of internal space, and modified anal sphincter. Black and white skin, forming horizontal stripes around its body, capable of extending a long black tongue, the act producing a vocalization similar to the sound produced by party horns. Although its level of intelligence could not be ascertained, it was at least capable of understanding several English words, mostly in the form of commands. SCP-2912-2 Overview An unusually tall, 2.56 meters, and spindly, with the exception of its left hand and abdomen, which both appear bloated, humanoid organism, capable of producing music from its asymmetrical and disjointed body. Vertebra are comparably large and oddly shaped, producing sounds similar to a xylophone in use, with songs appearing to differ in correlation with the present angle of the SCP-2912-2 spine. How it was able to create these sounds without directly striking individual vertebrae was never deduced. The left hand was large and flat and used to strike its bloated abdomen, the resulting sound similar to those produced by bass drums. Its face lacked eyes, had a bulbous red nose, capable of honking despite being entirely organic, and was primarily dominated by a large mouth, the void of lips. Yellow skin covered in red polka dots. Vocalizations fail to correspond with any known musical instrument, but has been described by Foundation musicologists as resembling an accordion crossed with an Ande-Martino. Potentially higher intelligence than other SCP-2912 entities, as it was able to compose unique music when commanded to do so. Music produced by SCP-2912-2 triggered strong emotional responses among listeners. It remains unknown whether this reaction was anomalous or is simply an explainable psychological response. SCP-2912-3 Overview Resemble the biological human more closely than SCP-2912-1 or SCP-2912-2. The appearance of face pain is part of its natural appearance. Laughter was apparently its only form of vocalization. This noise represented a cognitive hazard and triggered uncontrollable laughter among its listeners, lasting for six to thirty-two hours. An ability to create cream pies seemingly out of thin air. It is speculated that nearby matter was transmuted and teleported to SCP-2912-3 in the form of cream pies. These anomalies were discovered on October 5, 1998, after a raid on a fairground that had hosted Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting only minutes before the arrival of Foundation operatives. One small tent was left behind, the others having vanished as operatives approached. Inside were SCP-2912-1, SCP-2912-2, SCP-2912-3, and POI-4569. Interviewed, Dick C. Normus. Interviewer, Dr. Patrick Dolan. Forward, subject is a Caucasian male and is believed to be between forty to sixty years of age. Begin log. Please explain what you were doing prior to your apprehension. Listen, fuckface, I don't go to your job to pull the anomalous cock out of your ass. Mr. Fuller is not exactly the most patient bloke. So you are a member of Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting? Yeah. What's it to you? What is your profession? Clown Breeder. Excuse me? You dead? How exactly does one become a Clown Breeder? My father was a Clown Breeder. My father's father was a Clown Breeder. My father's father's father… well… he was a Horse Breeder. And what does his job actually entail? You that fucking stupid? It's in the god damn… Enlighten me. I see. Is this an old profession? You mentioned your father and grandfather. Well, in the real old days you didn't have no breeders. Bad was child breakers. Child breakers? What? You think all freaks are just born that way? Body does a lot of growing when young. Just gotta help it along a certain path. Just back then you could only make a hunchback. Nah. Nah. They deserve more credit. I mean, the Laughing Man, Turtle Boy, Hell, the Inside Out Girl, they was done the oooold way. As you say, I think this is all we need at the moment. Thank you for your time. Fuck you. In Log On November 16, 1998, all SCP-2912 entities self-terminated between 0400 and 0600. P.O. revealed no changes in behavior prior to the neutralization event, when SCP-2912 instances have roughly exploded. Their containment units covered in blood, viscera, confetti, and a viscous black liquid of uncertain purpose. When confronted about this incident, P.O.I.4569 stated verbatim, You fucking shit-eaters forgot to milk the clowns, didn't ya? Way to ruin a decade of work, ya cunts! Addendum An incident occurred on December 25, 1998, when video surveillance within P.O.I.4569 cell showed the door opening, while external video depicted the doors closed and no alarm was triggered. During this time, the faint sound of callopy music became audible within the cell, and P.O.I.4569 proceeded to converse with an unidentified individual. Unidentified individual. Voice is notably deep in a tunnel, but words are muffled and inaudible. About time you got here. Is that a smile or a frown? Unidentified individual. Inaudible. A liability? Come on! Mr. Fuller knows it! The unidentified individual then briefly entered the cell. They appear muscular, but further details are obscured by a cloud of what appears to be smoke, which permeates the cell via the anomalous doorway. P.O.I.4569 cried for help, but security personnel were unable to reach him in time. An autopsy revealed his cause of death with acute myocardial infarction, more commonly known as a heart attack.