 The Jack Benny program, transcribed and presented by Lucky Strike, the cigarette that's toasted to taste better. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get, it's toasted to give you the best taste yet it's a toasted cigarette. This is Don Wilson. As cigarette smokers you and I know the most important single thing any cigarette can offer is taste. Better taste. And as many millions of Lucky Smokers will tell you, Lucky's taste better. You know why? Because it's toasted. Yes, it's toasted to taste better. Lucky's better taste actually begins with the fine tobacco that goes into every Lucky Strike. LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And then that fine tobacco is toasted. It's toasted. That's the famous Lucky Strike process that tones up Lucky's naturally mild good tasting tobacco. Brings it to its peak of flavor, makes it taste even better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. So for better taste in your cigarette, be happy. Go Lucky. Buy a carton of better tasting Lucky Strike. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get, it's toasted to give you the best taste yet it's a toasted cigarette. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Rochester, Dennis A. Bob Crosby and yours truly, darling. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight Jack Benny does another television show. But first, let's go out to Jack's house in Beverly Hills. Our little star has decided to spend a couple of weeks in Palm Springs. So just as soon as he finishes breakfast, he's going to start packing. Ah, that was a good breakfast. How about a little more coffee, Rochester? No thanks, I didn't know. I meant me. Oh, wow. Yes, oh. And second thought, Rochester, I don't think I want any more. And anyway, it's about time we started packing. Yes. And Rochester, not a word about our going to Palm Springs in front of Polly. You know how to set that parrot gets when she knows we're going away and not taking her with us. Yeah. Let's go in the other room and get started. Hello, Polly. Ah, hello, hello. I can clean her and clean up your room. Oh, yes, yes. The bag for the vacuum cleaner. When the bag is full, we can start for... S-B-R-I-N-G-S vacuum cleaner. Right, Polly. That's spelled vacuum cleaner. Come on, Rochester, we better go in my room and start packing. Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Polly, but you can't come in the room with us. All right, don't get excited. Rochester, Polly doesn't want to be left alone. We better take her to my room, too. But boss, you'll see us take your suits out of the closet and your shirts out of the drawers. She'll just think we're straightening up the room. Go ahead, bring her in. Okay, come on, Polly. Bring her in, bring her in. Rochester, take my blue suit, my gray suit, my tweed out of the closet. But boss, a tweed suit is much too heavy for P-A-L-M-S-P-R-I-N-G-S. P-A-L-M-S-P-R-I-N-G-S vacuum cleaner. Well, okay, never mind the tweed. By the way, boss, are you going to stay at the same place you did last time? Certainly. Then I better keep these things together. Bathrobe, slippers, and flashlight. Rochester, it's inside now. Why don't you stay at the place where we had to pack a bicycle? Rochester, for your information, they don't have any more places like that in P-A-L-M-S-P-R-I-N-G-S. P-A-L-M-S-P-R-I-N-G-S vacuum cleaner. Well, Rochester, I guess we've got everything I'll need. I'll get the phone. I'll take Polly with me. Come on, Polly. Daddy has to answer the phone. Quiet, Polly. Hello? Hello, Jack. This is Mary. Oh, what is it, Mary? Jack, on your way over to pick me up, would you stop off at the store and get me a bottle of suntan oil? What do you mean stop off at the store? I'm bringing enough suntan oil for everybody. I know, but you don't give green stamps. I wasn't going to charge you for the oil. I was going to give it to you. When I bought it, the company guaranteed its quality. I know, Jack, but after spinning your crankcase for 10,000 miles, it loses something. Okay, I was just trying to do your favor. Anyway, I'll pick you up in a little while. Goodbye. Bye. Oh, boys, I've got everything ready. Should I close it up? No, and I want to check it first, see if I didn't forget anything. Now, Polly, you can't come into my room this time. Look, Polly, if you're lonesome, Daddy will turn on the radio for you. I'll get you some music. This is good enough. You'll like this, Polly. I'll be back soon. So we can get going. Dennis, are you all set for Palm Springs? Well, I came over to tell you I can't leave today. I have to go have a tooth pulled. A tooth pulled? Oh, that's a shame. Does it have a cavity? No. And is it ache? No. Let me see. Which tooth is it? The one on my watch chain. I got thrown out of the elks. Dennis, stop being silly. I want you to leave for Palm Springs today, so go home and pack. Okay. Oh, say, Mr. Benny, is it all right if I take my mother to Palm Springs with me? Well... She's already bought a French bathing suit. Your mother? That's ridiculous. Oh, no, it isn't. This morning she tried it on, and my father said she really looked French. Really? Yeah. Mr. Benny, who's General De Gaulle? Dennis, go home and pack. Don't you want to hear my song first? Yes, yes. Let's hear the song. Now, Dennis, when you go there, be sure to stay on Highway 99 so you won't get lost. Oh, I'm not driving down. Oh. You taking the bus? No. The train? No. Are you flying? No. Well... Goodbye, Dennis. Goodbye. I guess it's better not to know how he's getting there than to ask him and spoil my whole vacation. Now, let's see. Well, boss, I've got all the luggage in the car. Good. Come on, let's go. Are you sure all the lights are off and the doors are locked, Rochester? Yes, sir. Good. Okay, start the car. Okay. Never mind. Try the motor again, will you? Yes, sir. The motor's going from bad to worse. Rochester, don't be funny. Try it once more. Okay. The motor's not even catching. Maybe the battery's dead. Can't be that, Mr. Billy. I put a new battery in yesterday. A new battery? How much it costs? Nothing. I got it out of your flashlight. The motor's going back to car... Why do they always gather when we try to start the car? You can go, Rochester. They've gone now. There's Miss Livingston's house. Put on the brakes. Rochester, you stop right in front of the house. Keep the motor running. I'll go get Miss Livingston. Hello, Jack. I'm all ready. Good, Mary. I'll help you with your bag. Thank you. Here they are. Say, Mary, what beautiful luggage. Where'd you get it? I bought it. Last week, I got $200 on a quiz program. No kidding. On a quiz program? Uh-huh. I was sicked out of the whole studio audience because I worked for you. Uh-huh. You see, Mary? Doesn't hurt being on my program. What question did you have to answer for them to give you $200? No question. They just felt sorry for me. The heartline call was food for a month. Don't be so funny. Now come on, Mary. Let's go. Okay. Let me lock the door, will you? Rochester, put Miss Livingston's bags in the car, will you? Yes, sir. Now let's see. Where can I put them? Jack, you're only going to be away for two weeks. Why, they've got all that luggage piled on top of the car. That isn't luggage, Mary. And what is it? A tent will have to camp twice between here and Palm Springs. Oh, stop, Rochester. That's not why we're carrying it. Then why are you carrying it? The tent? Never mind. Now, Rochester, are we ready to go? Yes, sir. I put Miss Livingston's luggage in the trunk. Now let's relax and have a pleasant drive. Rochester, turn on the radio, will you please? Yes, ma'am. Currently featuring a platinum necklace. Sorry for everybody who works for me. Get the plumerailotet, like a lucky alowet. Get the plumerailotet, like a lucky alowet. Alowet. Alowet. Cigarette. Cigarette. Here is what the letters say. Send more lockies right away. Son of a gun, but Eskimo, they smoke lockies too, you know. Eskimo. Eskimo. Smokyono. Smokyono. Alowet. Cigarette. Cigarette. Zeolite. Lucky strikes. Lucky strikes. Living with the ice and snow, we're so very glad to know. She's as happy as can be. We've had L.S. 70s. M.F.T. M.F.T. We agree. We agree. Eskimo. Eskimo. Smokyono. Smokyono. Alowet. Alowet. Cigarette. Cigarette. Zeolite. Zeolite. Lucky strikes. Lucky strikes. Why the traffic is so thick. It's people still coming home from last year's Rose Bowl game. Last year's Rose Bowl game. Don't marry. Sometimes I fix it. Excuse me, Mr. Belly. What is it, Rochester? We're getting kind of low on gas. We are? We're pulling that gas station on the corner there. Okay. Yes, sir. We'd like some gas. Yes, sir. Would you like regular or apple? Let me see. I wonder what would be best for this car? Blood. Very pleased. I'll take the regular. Fill it up. Well, no. No, no. Put in about three gallons. For heaven's sake, Jack. Why don't you fill it up? Mary, three is enough. But you'll have to stop at another gas station for more. Now, why don't you fill it up? Well, all right. Fill it up, Mr. Oh, boy. We ain't let tell the boys it's a lodge about this. Never mind, Rochester. Go ahead and fill the tank, Mr. Yes, sir. Jack, what do you plan on doing in Palm Springs? Well, I think I'll just rest, relax, and, one, have a good time. I'm going to take a dip in the two swimming pool every morning. And then play a round of three golf after that. That way, I'll get plenty of four suns. In the afternoons, I'll just relax and five rest until dinner time. There's so many good places to six, eat in Palm Springs, like the dunes, dollhouse, and down the beach, seven comers, and half the bonus. Some nights, I may go on eight and... For heaven's sake, that's enough gas. Hey, Mr. Do you know you've got a big hole in your right rear tire? I know, I know. Well, how come it doesn't go flat? Because the tire was filled up in Los Angeles. Well, what's that got to do with it? This mug is too thick to leak out. I can sell you a new set of tires, very reasonable. Not right now. You see, they're making so many improvements in tires these days, I'll wait a little while longer. Well, I've got the latest thing right here, tubeless tires. Well, where is that? We've got tireless tubes. Never mind, Rochester. Just check the oil, Mr. Yes, sir. Well, the oil is okay, but I noticed the pulley on your generator is cracked. Now, you've got to get a new one, or you'll have lots of trouble. Well, okay, put one in. Well, I'm sorry, but we don't have any parts for this car. Oh. Well, is there a Maxwell dealer in this town? Yeah. Where? In the cemetery. It'll be all right. Now, how much do I owe... What's that? Say, mister, how much do I owe you? That's two dollars and fifty cents. Okay, I'll tell you. Oh, excuse me. Here comes another customer. Yes, sir. What can I do for you? Tell it up. Well, Bob! What, Jack? Hi. Hello, Mary. Hi, Rod. Hello, Bob. Hello, Mr. Crosby. Excuse me, mister. You want regular or rattle? Ethel, please. Gosh, Bob, isn't it a coincidence? We're all on our way to Palm 1 Springs. And we need it the same gas to... Yes! Stop counting it, Bob's car. Oh, yes, yes. I forgot. Gee, Bob, it's a shame that you have to make the drive all alone. I'm not alone. Huh? Oh, look in the back. Don't you see? Remly, Kimmick, and Bagby. They're laying there. Oh. Bob, you only mentioned Remly, Kimmick, and Bagby. Isn't Sammy the drummer coming to Palm Springs? Well, Sammy's coming, sure. But not until just before we do our broadcast there. See, he hates the sun. Why? Well, you know how bald Sammy is, and he doesn't like his scalp to get sunburned. Well, can he wear a hat? Oh, no. If he covered his head, he'd lose a $50 a week. A distillery pays him. A distillery? A distillery pays him $50 a week not to cover his head? Yeah. They've got, don't be vague, say, Hig and Hig painted up there. Well, they couldn't have picked a better head than Sammy's. It shaped like a pinch bottle. Bob, you know, this is none of my business, really. But if the boys in the band are such a bunch of hoodlums, why don't you get rid of them? Funny, Mary. I asked Bob the same thing last weekend. He told me that their private lives are their own business. That's right, Mary. And these boys have a lot of experience. Yeah. Bob told me that his boy spent two years with Wayne King. No, no, Jack. Not Wayne King, Waste King. They used to install them. By the way, Bob, how come your wife isn't coming to the Springs with you? Oh, she'll be up for the weekend, Mary. She's bringing the kids. All five of them? Yeah, all five of them are made and cooked, too. So it won't be hard finding hotel reservations for that many people? Oh, I don't have to worry about that. Jack's running me a tent. All right, Mary. Now you know. Are you happy? Come on, Rochester. Let's go. Yes, sir. See you in Palm Springs, Bob. Bye, bye, Mary. Bye, Bob. Rochester, make this right turn here. Mr. Benny, we should go straight ahead. Rochester's right, Jack. This isn't the way to Palm Springs. Look, Mary, I know a shortcut. Rochester, turn here. Yes, sir. Are you sure this shortcut takes us to Palm Springs? Of course I'm sure. But Mr. Benny, we've been driving three hours since we left the gas station. Yeah, and it's getting dark. We should have been in Palm Springs long ago. Mary, I know what I'm doing. I've taken this road many times. And see? See, we're in the desert. See the sand? Yeah, and I see the sign, too. Laguna Beach. Rochester, you must have made a wrong turn. Now go back to the main highway. Jack! Where? It's only a bird. Jack will be back in a minute to tell you about his television program which goes on immediately after this show. But first, a word to you smokers who are looking for better taste in a cigarette. If you want better taste from your cigarette Lucky Strike is the brand to get It's toasted to give you the best taste Yet it's the toasted cigarette They take fine tobacco with light Tobacco with some mild tobacco, too And it's toasted, yes, it's toasted Because the toasting brings you so to get better taste From your cigarette Lucky Strike is the brand to get It's toasted to give you the best taste Yet it's the toasted cigarette Friends, if you read the comics I guess you know all about Little Iodine and that other famous comic series They'll do it every time The fellow who draws them is Jimmy Hatlow Well, Jimmy's cigarette is Lucky Strike He says, yep, I'll do it every time Light up a Lucky because they taste better Friends, many millions of people smoke Lucky's because they, too, have found that Lucky's taste better A Lucky taste better because it's toasted to taste better Of course, Lucky's better taste begins with fine tobacco Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco And then that fine tobacco is toasted It's toasted, the famous Lucky Strike process Tones up Lucky's fine tobacco to make it taste even better Cleaner, fresher, smoother So be happy, go Lucky And here's a reminder A carton of Lucky's makes a wonderful Christmas gift As welcome under the tree as a pretty girl under the mistletoe Give the smokers on your list Gay, colorful Christmas cartons of Lucky Strike So nice to give, so wonderful to get Have a happy, go Lucky Christmas Ladies and gentlemen, I was going to tell you about my television show but we're a little late, so tune in and watch it Good night, folks The judge for the show tonight was written by Milk Joseph Burg John Packaberry, Hal Goldman, Al Gordon and produced and transcribed by Hilliard Marks Filter smokers, here's the true tobacco taste you've been looking for Filter Tip Tarleton gives you all the full, rich flavor of Tarleton's famous quality tobacco and real filtration too Filter Tip Tarleton incorporates activated charcoal renowned for its unusual powers of selective filtration and used far and wide to purify the air we breathe the water and beverages we drink Look for the red, white and blue stripes on the package They identify Filter Tip Tarleton, the best in filtered smoking The Jack Many program is brought to you by the American Tobacco Company America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes