 Welcome to the 21 convention podcast. My name is Steve Mayer and I'm your host of today's episode today We have Nick sparks an amazing guy and in this in this podcast We do an interview that gets really in depth. We talk about sex Sexuality his his speeches that he's given in the past But also some really intimate details on how to get more social how to be a better man and Both of our personal struggles that went into this equation. Don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel It's an easy click of the button and if you're watching this on social media, let's pass it on Let's get into this interview All right, here. We are with Nick sparks at the 21 convention man You just said something which was pretty cool. He said this was the the one of the highlights of your year Yes, man tell tell me about it because we've talked a lot, but I haven't heard that. Oh All right, just the collection of people. That's what I really love about it the speakers I'm to the attendees. It's you know the speakers guys who I don't get to see guys I don't get to hang out with who I have a lot in common in prior to this you had not met James Marshall James McLean Sasha. Oh you hadn't met Sasha. No, it's a big personality all sorts of sock. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah incredible inspirational And then also I know for myself and we talked to you got to experience it a little bit more because I'm like Going all over the place, but even the attendees What what was so like What was your first thought on I have some thoughts on it, but what really stood out, you know I've spoken at a few of these that are not the 21 convention and the crowd can be kind of a yeah You know guys who are just like really looking up there numbers. Yeah, or this and that but I mean this convention especially this year just the tracks men who are Awesome guys really looking to do like, you know the right thing and just looking to improve themselves in all areas of their lives Are pushing themselves and in every which way and I mean that's always inspiring to me Man, you know kid. This is what I I would say because there's always been a difference about the 21 convention and especially in what like the message that is produced but in this year you really saw the manifestation of speakers and attendees Going all in the same direction. It was just really cool, you know So everybody had the right mentality whether it had to do with diet bettering their lives I mean you just heard a different voicing of living a better life and you know the meaning of social I mean god dude the speeches. What was your favorite speech man? Um, Socrates. Yeah I think he won You know what I thought was so interesting was Every speaker especially guys that we see a lot, you know in the seduction industry and although you hadn't met Sasha or James Very familiar with them Everybody had a feeling of I just want to give like everybody gave you know including your speech Or we were talking about it just the pacing of it and the feeling of of Hey, man, we're being we love being social. We love connecting with people We do this because it's our passion, but we believe in humanity and let's just open it up And it was just so cool to see the different voicings of you know Sasha being Sasha You know James Marshall being James James of Clane yourself, you know, it was just a very very cool thing What are the transitions for you in this like that brought you to that Kind of level of giving and because for the past couple years. I really feel that you've opened up in a way that's I Don't know a very mellow calm Seductive expression of yourself like what what transitions happen? Oh, I mean growing up You're practicing what I preach instead of because yeah Any guy who's working in this industry tell you you get into it because you're you're trying to figure stuff out for yourself You're trying to do yourself on these lines as well and every single guy I work with I learned something new and I I'm going to be an example to people. I've got to internalize it I've got a y'all to bring it myself and then with this event especially I'm I always feel like I've got to bring my best Everybody else's Anthony always is and so just to kind of deserve to be on that stage with everybody else I've got to you know make sure that I'm resting as much as I can before my speech I'm giving as much as I can to the guys who are all bringing everything. Yeah got themselves Like I got to step it on and that that is something because speaking at the 21st This is something that you guys may not know is that it is so different because it's a different caliber in other Speaking events went for anything. It's like there's some riff-raff. You know, it's it's kind of easy to get the top 10 Roll out of bed hungover. I just go over there. Don't shower. Hey guys 21 convention. Yeah, like to speak on a stage with yourself like to be around that or Any of the other speakers some of the top guys in in health some of the top guys in the world in fitness doctors Yeah, I'm these and I'm supposed to be like we're that's the crazy thing about like the guys in the seduction industry Is we tend to be people that just you know kind of go about life in this way and it was a philosophy major Yeah, hey, at least you went to school. You know, I mean like a lot of us didn't but we're actually on stage with these like academics you know after this we got We have two guys would be actually I just interviewed a guy with a phd And we have another guy with a phd and it's just such an interesting thing I think that's something that the 21thvention Anthony everybody involved in it is put out there that you know Living your life living your expression living what you're truly passionate about you can get to this expert level of you know Spreading a good word. I mean is this happened for you, you know We enter into the seduction industry and you can kind of go whatever way you want But had I not been involved with the speakers and the people that I met I wouldn't have transitioned into More of the thought in the mindset in the you know, even feelings. I'm passionate about seduction, you know What what's happened between the 2009 convention And uh and now man Well, I've always kind of followed my own path when it comes to this sort of thing I've always been a figure things out on my own walk Whatever, you know, I ignore everything that else is out there and then really kind of think oh What do I believe is Is best even if all the other voices in the industry are saying something different right at the time that is you too They really were and so, you know, I I feel that I was maybe leaning towards a message or a direction before it was More popular before it was more accepted. Yeah, it was a gamble. Yeah, big time for sure But then it's it's it's humbling when when anthony starts kind of cutting out other people from the convention There's a lot of people that spoke that back then that right they butted heads when they weren't invited back And now it's just isn't that crazy. It's it's really it's really just reaffirming It's really like I said humbling that and then also with you Because you've I mean you're like super humble. You're like totally down to earth, right? Just a dude I've got my own stuff to work on like everybody. Yeah. Yeah And so for yourself, you know, just kind of going along on this path And then all of a sudden your speech explodes, man In the way that you handled it is even cooler because a lot of people they get a speech that takes off And it's like me me me finally finally. I'm validated, but for you. It's just like, oh, no, man That's not what it's about Uh went like that speech was released What a year year year and a half year and a half Yeah Like what was your reaction to all that? Even people started emailing you or you were just like, whoa, this thing is going crazy I was as shocked as anyone. Yeah Because you know my speeches would tend to get as many views right as the the other guys in the convention and then that one just went went off completely unexpected very very surprising and You know, I wasn't going to walk in here this year with a big old fur coat and like sunglasses like mr Big shot or anything But for me it was it was it was validating in a way and that you know The stuff that i'm talking about the the way that i'm going about this stuff is what people want You know, they don't want the top 10 like best pickup line people are looking for something else So if anything it was just like a reaffirmation that I was going in the right direction But definitely at the same time not like oh, I've arrived now Yeah, but that you know, I've got a lot more work to do but at least I know that You know, I'm I'm doing it somewhat right I think it did it did a service to everybody and even in the 21 convention With it's just video feed has done that for everybody because marketing tells you you have to be this way and then you come along and it's like I mean There's other people with other speeches that are much more, you know marketing and then this totally organic like You do all the things that are quote unquote wrong, right? And it's just it's so down to earth you you're just like, hey, you know, I'm Let me get centered, you know, that's how you started off the speech and you know I'm feeling a little bit nervous and you just went into this dialogue about some very simple conversation and You know, you kind of did Part two to it this year Yeah, you know with the the whole how to be sexual element as a continuation The two speeches like you can't have one without the other really right comes to communicating especially with women and Sexuality is just as much of a natural expression. Yeah, there's anything else and it needed to be said So yeah, glad I got the opportunity. It was really good, man. I mean I I was in the back the room and you could feel it You know, and I think that was your your your point was to Get into what's within you. It's not about the words. Yeah about the thoughts. Yeah, it's only going to get in your Why, you know, you said something when we were talking about the speech I you know when I work with guys one thing that I notice and man what I notice about myself I mean Is when I fail at something how I react shows a window to what I need to work on or if I get rejected And they're two different things. I think like failure kind of relationship with yourself Rejected is you know other people And then if I'm around things that I don't like like if I'm like, oh man this person Fuck great, you know, but what's that say about me? But I think also with how we deal with success You know and what did that teach you, you know, or what kind of It was validating in a way when you saw You know shoot man doing my things my own way because at the time like all these satellites of people that you probably weren't connected to You know may have been doing the right thing in the seduction industry the dating industry But you're kind of like alone with it And when you started to get that success What did it show for you did it trigger any things that you needed to work on did it it's like I said just mainly because I've had Conversations I know plenty of marketers in this industry and you know when I was who doesn't and they were all telling me Yo, we need you need to do this This is how you and and they were right to a certain extent like if you wanted to make money Especially it's kind of like this is what sells like yeah, and so this is what you need to be And I said back then that I get that I understand that this is where the money's at This is what people are buying and this is what you know gets their emotional selling juices going or whatever But I don't believe in it. I is a coach I know that if I taught that stuff and I just saw guys Basically being in the same place they were I wasn't doing my job and so I Yeah, I said I respect what you're saying and what you're doing But I just I can't do it. I I have to do something else And maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm gonna do it and a couple years later I'm going to just you know be homeless or whatever have to get out of the industry But it's it's it's really nice to know that There are guys that do want something out. There are guys that are tired of that message. Yeah, um, and so It's it's I won't say that that's the thing that that kept me sticking around But it was it was such a strong message That no that that there are other people out there that don't just want the rest of the stuff that are looking for something different Man, cool. Cool. Hey, let's take a break for a short minute and we'll be right back with nicks barks nicks barks back again and uh from a quick break and uh, we had a quick quick few jokes pasted there man, so uh, we're talking about all this stuff, but um Uh You you had said to me once that you really feel that when guys work with you It's like man, you just need a workshop. You need More when they take a workshop with you. You just need some time to work with you You know get some skills in there Get a little bit of follow-up, but that's generally all they need And so when guys work with you they they tend to get a very specific result Of you know, this nicks barks has kind of way of like relaxed and just like, okay Yeah, you know, I'm not worried about all this like You know head cheese jumble of you know overthought pickup stuff and I can just kind of exist in this social element what you know, what happens What's your workflow when you work with guys? um I mean first of all, I got it was just it was sad seeing guys investing like yeah years of their lives Thousands upon thousands of dollars And then just being right in the exact same position They started and when they were looking to improve this starting to sometimes worse Sometimes sometimes worse. It's frustrating. Absolutely. I've said, you know, some of my toughest cases are guys who have really been Attrenched in some negative negative stuff out there um, and so I you know, I needed to I didn't want to be just another one another thing that they went through and so I guess what There's a secret to to what I'm doing. It's one just you know giving the basic skills because it's not some complicated things That they're always feeling like I'm missing some other parter. I got to lump some more information Just giving the basics of what really constitutes great interactions Making sure that they have the essential skill set and they're not missing anything on that end Making sure they understand that this is what they need and they can create all the great interactions They want from these these basic things um And then it's just kind of hammering home like mindsets throughout the entire time that we're together You know four days of me they're they're getting tired. They're wearing themselves out And if I'm just constantly like hitting them over the head with the same Message it kind of can start to re-trigger and so You know a big message is just that you know, there's going to be some people that just aren't in the mood to social I said just aren't going to be looking for any romantic connection in their life for whatever reason that this isn't about Um, oh, there's a person. How do I get them? Which is ridiculous. It's not saying it's cloudy What dance can I do to you know make the sun come out right now? It's human beings are that uncontrollable essentially And so just kind of shifting the focus of what this is not supposed to be You know the message that so many other people promote as you know, this is what it is And that's what you're going to get to saying that's not what it's about And just kind of promoting and then also the stuff that I teach. It's very much centered around Real connection really enjoying the the company of people You know, whether it's going to be romantic or not and I mean at the end of the day I think that a lot of guys come in thinking that they just want more sex But what's really going on and I can relate to this in my own life Is there just they're kind of hungry for a deeper connection with with other human beings with people? Yeah, you know, um Because you bring up something really interesting Or you're bringing stuff up and I'm thinking about myself and sometimes if I talk about myself all the time Because I'm always in my head. I know it but you really have a different philosophy Going into this. I mean, I'm sure you know, you've worked on other people's boot camps and kind of seen how they do it Um, but you're really coming from this place of like, hey, you know, that's normally talk Like if you get rejected, it's not a rejection You know, it's this experience. So what do you say to a guy if it's like, no What are what are the three things I need to say, you know If I'm coming to you and saying like, well, how do I approach to give me three things that I can do I'm saying that's mine. That's that's that mindset that's just creating this cycle of like Misery and failure and frustration that you're getting in that it's it's not about that If you're looking for that you're going to be looking for the rest of your life and you're never going to get anywhere Right. It's like, what do you want? Do you want the top three things to say or do you want to be happy? Do you want and then some guys are like, no, I still want the top three things to say Yeah, like when you're so frustrated. I mean when you're in pain and you can't see beyond that So with a guy like that, you just say, hey man, relax and go work on yourself or Say, you know, there's going to be other people out there that I think will really right Be more what you're looking for right now. And in earlier on in my career Well before I had developed as a coach and before I even had this track record It was more difficult for guys to see they believe like, I don't want that crap Yeah, like, oh yeah connecting like, all right. That sounds cute. But but after You know, people have worked with me for years and years and you know, the people read the testimonials And you get mad testimonials. Yeah, I do want that. I think that sounds pretty good And the other thing too is is anybody who's actually having sex or like has a sex life, right? You know, like so you're you're actively interacting with women. You have friends Like if you have those if you have those things in your life and we're laughing about it, but It's like, god, you you do value the connection. I mean, that's it It's like if you're not having that because having bad sex sucks. It's worse. We both know Yeah, there's plenty of guys who have like, you know gotten more Plays and are more miserable than before because especially because this thing that they think they're going to bring them this happiness Thing they've been banking on. Yeah, all of a sudden doesn't it's like, well crap. Where do I go from here? Yeah, you know, uh the the first so I of course heard about you at the convention is all that sort of stuff but There's so many instructors and you just like some it's overwhelming especially at the bigger conventions When it's just too much, you know, and it's just like god Anyway, the thing is is that uh, I remember I had I was talking to somebody about sex and he had worked with you He was like, man, this is the same thing that nick was talking about this was years ago And I was like Shit nick nick must be up to something, you know, and I think I had messaged you like shortly afterwards It's like, hey, man, you know this guy he was saying this and that like props and then just slowly, you know Some relationship build then you moved to Austin short or very recently, but Your journey with sex and like You know discovering that for yourself and finding out what's good and you know for me, it's a constant journey I mean it oh, yeah, like I'm still my biggest project. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that touches on even another thing like why we're coaches It's like but um Man, what what was that, you know, what is What is bad sex or I hear you throughout the word, you know sex addiction or getting into like some sort of sexual unhappiness like What is that like? Where do you see that? Where do you see that with other people or yourself or The world in general it's I mean Figuring this out for myself bad sex like things that that make me Like feel crappier is is basically sex with people that I don't really enjoy the company of yeah When I've got to like Act in a different way that yeah, they like me and I know how to be attractive But I mean at the end of the day I it's like, okay Like will you sleep with the person and that's done And then it's like then you can actually look at them as a real human being and say well Wait, I don't actually enjoy spending time with you whatsoever I was just kind of tricking myself into thinking that I enjoyed your company Just because like I had this this this desire for for sex And so that's what I would refer to as a sexual addiction when when you're putting that need first and ignoring everything else So a process that's been for me is to look and say Do I before I sleep with them? Am I am I just am I tricking myself into thinking I'm enjoying their company? Am I subconsciously like playing but I don't really trying to look at a person as if I had just slept with them to say Okay, like do I really like hanging out with this person to our personality is actually really mesh And then if if you got that and you're really you've got that deeper that deeper place It's coming from the sex is awesome But if you don't it's it's kind of like, you know, you wake up the next day and you feel like crap yeah you know There was a point in the convention. There were a lot of females at this convention, which was actually very cool, but there was a point where It was like there was a girl there and I was just like fuck You know, like yeah, you can't think You beyond No, no, I don't think we did But there was a point where it was like Fuck and it and this is what you got to understand like people are like, how do I get rid of the fear? You have the fear like like you I did not I would not have known what to say But this was one of the few girls where you're inspired to do the whole like direct thing I don't believe in like categorizations of game But it's like I really couldn't say anything other than like you're hot Fucking time. Like that's not my in front of me. I usually like let my intention known with my eye Well, that's the best way man because we're especially sexually I think the closer we can get even if we're not physically close But the closer humanly we can get people feel that and sex is not determined by like Do you like me? Yes. It's like this other language that's happening with Subcommunications and feelings and women here. I was attracted to knew I was attracted. Yeah. Yeah our conversation Yeah, actually, I've seen I've seen the the animal come out man. This is like Plus everything this is another thing. I was talking to this guy John, uh, man, you should meet him He was not at the convention John Lichenberg, but he's one of the the few guys that I'm like an ah listening to him about sex, but He has sex with everybody he's one of the few guys where this is his lifestyle You know, it's not like he didn't become polyamorous because it's cool and some sexual deficit And I want to do that for like he's made it a life, right? But he's like, you know, if I'm friends with somebody I don't really know them if I don't know their sexual side You know, if I don't if I haven't experienced that and you you put that out there, man You're like, yeah, I saw I saw you with the like But everybody has a different style, right? But I'll get like super aggressive But yeah, you do that being said man, you haven't even seen I know you're Baby and yeah, yeah, Marty is here and it's amazing and I'll get killed You will literally yeah. Yeah. No, it's it's pretty pretty vicious dude strong woman. It's what yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, but also I'd even say to that like she's had just as much experience as me. So there's no I mean Jealousy happens we'll get there but Like she's gotten a lot out of her system and myself too, but No, we we saw this woman and you're like, holy shit Fuck Like see even now thinking about it. I can't think because it was like it's just too much But that being said When I see a hot woman like that my My the next thing I know and you're kind of talking about this wisdom of like don't have bad sex is How can I See her like how can I see her sexuality to see if I like it? You know, it doesn't necessarily have to be her emotion, but that could be part of it But how can I see What she's about other and if I can't get that then then it cuts You know, that's where like I said, I'm still work in progress No, no, no, but how do you talk about the ideal thing of you know Needing to really enjoy their company But then something like that happens and like it's very very hard to keep that in mind. It's like I just want to be next to her Yeah, yeah We're all like sub-dude and just like fucking But okay one thing here How do you See that process, you know, like of getting to know getting to feel her to know Because I'll tell you this if you get to a point where You get that arousing urge And it's overwhelming to you It's not that you don't want to act on it It's that you want to see how that action is going to happen And actually let's get back to this question after this quick break. Yeah So, yeah, you know, we're back in How do you deal deal with that the discovery? You know, well, it's really I'd say plugged into so much of what I teach like what I teach isn't really about Actively doing something to be attractive. It's about, you know, Putting out very basic things, you know putting out eye contact. Um, you know making that seeing how they respond Just, you know asking them questions stuff I talked about two years ago at the convention of just really being curious showing just genuine Interest in in who they are what they're about and then leaving them space and then Seeing what they do what they say who they are, you know, and as they open that up, you know Show either be honest with myself. Is this something that I'm really enjoying? Is this something that you're not just she's hot so I'm gonna love everything that she says But is this something I'm jiving with is this something I appreciate and I've got enough experience to see how women can act one way And it's awesome and women can act another way and it's just it turns me off Um, but but so, you know, very much to just Put out give her opportunities to open up give her opportunities to To kind of be who she is And then just being honest with myself about if I actually like that or not and if if so being You know more curious more interested getting more out And if not just kind of Losing interest and and seeing if maybe she's going to recognize and say okay. I was being an asshole That's not who I am Man, if you could like walk me down. I mean everybody's different and I and I know how unique You are with this, you know to truly find the unique individual But like what was the last like, you know, kind of date that you went on or experience You had with a woman where this kind of unfolded just so guys can get these points that you're talking about and by points I don't mean specific action. I took her to fro you then I said, you know But but yeah walk us down an experience that you had um I'd say there's you know the majority of the Every so often Like and it's it's a rare thing. You know, you find the people that you really just click with where talking is like You just start talking to them and it's the best thing in the world. It's easy as time disappears There's there's nothing else you'd rather do exactly. It's it's the best I mean, so there's there But then You know those don't happen that often in your life. Those are more few and far between So a question I get a lot of how do you enjoy the interim? And in between there, I think that there's you know, a lot of people who You know, you know, you maybe it's it's not like that. It's not like that that very rare thing that happens um, but it's more But it's it's more Oh, jeez. How do you even describe that you? You your values are relatively the same you care about the same things. They're they're a they're a decent human being Um, you you know your sense of humor lineup you enjoy laughing together is they they open up They're saying things that you you can appreciate. They're saying things that you you care about talking about their family or talking about their friends They're not just kind of you know, I've tried going on dates with women that it's it's just like they're this Like like plastic and they have whatever the magazine or the tv say they should be and it's it's more It's more than not even if we don't completely match up on anything I'm gonna enjoy myself a lot more If a woman is Is really putting herself out there if she's really you know, not just kind of going through the same plastic steps Just like with guys I think yeah a big time same thing That's attractive or not and if I'm if I can see that she's the kind of person that That that can just be real that can't just be genuine and And and do all the same things that I'm trying to do find somebody else that's that can be real with But they're like that's just gonna make me respect her that's gonna make me Want to spend more time with her even if it's not you know for forever or even if it's just a friendship like I got I got this for you with You know you talked about commonalities and stuff like that One thing that I find like really interesting and and this is tough dude. I mean I I have to Check myself on this all the time But I remember I did these interviews way back when about American culture like totally separate thing and You know like what is American culture? What do you like about what do you dislike? You know all that sort of stuff. How'd you change those things? So I interviewed all these people but there were people like I went in with an agenda like I want to you know Have this ideology, you know highlighted. I interviewed people that were totally outside of what I thought like let's say You know they were You know pro life and I was like going for the pro choice thing or whatever, you know in just If I talked to somebody with a common belief of mine Sometimes they would end up getting wrapped up in that And then we weren't having a human connection the people that I disagreed with most Or like was like so alien had no commonality. We hit a commonality of like Okay, you think this way I think this way But you know this is why I think it and and I started to understand people and I was like wow In true socializing there isn't any judgment like when we're connected And I think for me, that's what I'm always looking for when I'm like wow How can I you know if there's this girl and she's from wherever and maybe she has a shield up or a wall If that lowers man, that's like such a beautiful thing It's what we try to teach our guys to do. I love that's what I see you do You know, yeah, it's because it's not about you hit the nail on the head It's not about you know, do you agree or disagree with my position? It's is is whether if you if you agree But it's still just kind of come from this like plastic thing like I'm just reciting something I heard somewhere else because I think it's like the right thing to say or because it works It's gonna feel weird. It's gonna feel I'm not gonna connect with that person Whereas even if they disagree if it's coming from like their real genuine belief if they're really speaking their their mind They're speaking their heart. Yeah, then I'm gonna feel that person. I'm gonna connect with them I'm gonna want to yeah talk with them more. Yeah No, man, it's just such a cool thing. This is something that we were talking about and I just was thinking about it going like wow I'd like to talk when I do interview Nick. I'd like to talk about this, but we were talking about orgasm and in some of the Orgasm orgasmic meditation stuff that you've done and you have a friend that is like, you know Teaches this in unique ways, but we just started. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we start talking about that expression of woman and women expression of sexuality Being in love with that like what when did this start for you and like not that you're like this like Super connoisseur because some people get like cold like into it, you know, but but yeah, like how did you Fall into that like tell me the story of that If Christina Berkeley is the person you you mentioned if anyone's familiar with orgasmic meditation The big name in this space right now Nicole de don and one taste They're they're kind of the biggest brand of orgasmic meditation really getting the most publicity right now And and Christina used to work with one taste used to be kind of Nicole's right hand woman running the the new york area And and there was a lot of stuff with the practice of of simply You know, yeah pussy stroking that that Christine wanted to do differently And and so she kind of broke off and I was when I first met her I was just looking for a female assistant for my program right and brought her on and I quickly realized the stuff She was sharing and the advice she was giving was just a whole different level. Yeah, and I mean she's helped guide my You know what I teach and my kind of my thinking around all this as much as anyone And and so I met her when she was going through this transition away from one taste and not her own thing And as she started building her own practice, this was maybe two two and a half years ago I started you know, she's telling me. Oh you come in and you Yeah, of course Um, that was my Well, it's my interest. I'll get you not be interested in that It sounds it sounds fascinating And but at the same time, you know, my own sexuality my own relationship with women These were all things that I was very much working on very much trying to improve and figure out for myself Um, and and so this this practice sounded very attractive to me Yeah, and and so she really started forming her own thing and I said, you know, good friend of mine at that point. Let's Um, you know, I'm in this like sign me up And and so she took me through the same process or she took everyone else the same training process and um You know, I started doing it and yeah, it was it was hugely beneficial I'd say just for my relationships with women not even a sexual way, right? Yeah Really being you know comfortable with women not just as I mentioned not just kind of looking as oh, how can I Achieve sex but just being comfortable with with my sexuality with feminine sexuality. I'm in a in a much more healthy way I think there's an element to uh To sex as a man that you really touch on a lot like with this speech And just your general vibe like in the 2012 speech you may not specifically be saying this But there's a part that's the urge where you see that chick like when we're in the back of the You know this could have happened or not But in the back of the conference room when we're like fuck, I just want to I need to see those tits Sure, I want to I want to see what happens in between those legs But then there's this other side that's but no man, that's some like animal shit, dude You're like fuck It's god-given man. Yeah. Yes. Yeah And in men need to get in touch with that and I think you hit on that very well But then men need to hit on or get in touch with the the rapport side like how can we Feel and then there's this other side with the orgasm of like How can we exist in this sexual state in the act of sex with this woman and feel her Absolute expression, you know potential. Mm-hmm allow connection to happen you know allow the two things to become one and uh You just say it really well, you know, uh, we're almost out of time, but what, uh About those three things, you know the urge of man Yeah, the the rapport and then the the state of sex I think the big trouble that I've had that I think a lot of guys have is that We have these completely natural beautiful, you know desires feelings urges But then it's like we've been trained in our society We've been trained in our upbringing to quickly like our ego just takes over our head takes over Oh, yeah, I want her because it'll be this status and I'll feel so good about myself when I'm Bang in this hot chick right and and it becomes this just mental process and then the mental well How can I get her? How can I I can I can achieve that and we completely cut ourselves off? Like it comes from a great place But then we just kind of are taught our entire lives to make it about this This this ego driven thing. Yeah, and so to kind of learn to You know when that's happening to not just flee off into this is kind of unhealthy place with it But to learn to to keep it where it belongs to to keep it And that's why though the practice is called orgasmic meditation Because you're experiencing the sexuality, but it's really more about learning to meditate on those feelings learning to hold them And be present with that that natural urge and if you're you're coming from that place It's gonna feel good. It's gonna For yourself for the other people around you But you know when it once it becomes this kind of mental process is ego driven process It's gonna make everybody kind of less satisfied and less happy with it man. No, that's badass. That's beautiful. That's beautiful Uh nick sparks. How do we find out about you sparks of attraction dot com my upcoming book attraction make women want you and men respect you should be hitting the bookshelves in the next Month or two so check that out man can't wait and be awesome. Good to have you man. Pleasure steve Wow guys that was a cool podcast man Just just an awesome experience if you guys could Leave some feedback lead leave a comment We'll get back to you if you give us some thumbs up some likes and don't forget to hit the subscribe button So you can be a part of this awesome movement in following that we're doing here at the 21 convention I'm steve mayada and we're signing off