 Did you know that a lot of dating advice is fear-based advice, especially the advice given to women? Especially around the area about making a man miss you. And we're going to talk about the idea of missing someone in a much deeper sense in a few moments. But I want to lean into this conversation because quite frankly, it's rather appalling some of the advice women get when it comes to men. And I think the book, The Rules, initiated all this, and this happened over 20 years ago, especially in the area of playing hard to get by making it difficult for a man. And by making things difficult for a man, the idea is if you create tension, if you create a sense of fear, this sense of fear will make him miss you. For example, playing hard to get by creating that space, that might make a man miss you. Or go out and have a fabulous weekend with your girlfriends and just show him that you're having a fabulous life and that will make him miss you. And make sure you post your fabulous life on social media because he's going to see how fabulous your life is on social media and he's going to come running to you and want to claim you because your life is so fabulous, right? And by that space in between he's going to miss you. There's all different types of game playing. Sometimes it's creating situations where you're flirting with other men to make a man feel more fear-based with you. And but when he feels that fear, he'll miss you. But let's think about this for a moment. Fear-based advice, advice that's designed to create fear in another person might, okay, that might work temporarily. In that temporary state of fear, he may come and temporarily claim you. Yeah, temporarily claim you. You've heard that men are hunters. What do men hunt? Do men walk around hunting? I want a relationship. I want a relationship. I just want a relationship. Is that what they're hunting? Are men competitive and they're in the hunt always? What about this idea of the advice that you're given that you need to create mystery? Because in that mystery, he'll feel that sense of longing and in that sense of longing, he'll miss you. Let me just tell you something, folks, especially those of us in midlife. Those of us in midlife are rather fucked up human beings. We are riddled with childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that have piled on over the years. Do you remember something called the midlife crisis? By the way, midlife crisis back in the 60s is tamed to the midlife crisis that human beings are experiencing today. And it's quite fascinating because let me pause for a moment and say this. I want you to think about the younger generation for a moment. Those 20 or 30-year-olds that are getting advice from 40s, 60s, or even 70-year-old folks. I want you to think about those folks in their 40s, 60s, or 40s, 50s, 60s, or even 70s. There is a huge population, especially those people that are single right now in that age demographic. Roughly 75% of those folks are single. Now, or let me refame that, 75% of those folks who are single are divorced. Let me correct myself. Our single are divorced. Could you imagine what advice divorced people are giving to the younger generation? Why don't you think about this? And a lot of this advice is designed to create fear. Think about it. Men and women alike are trashing each other at really horrific levels. They're trashing one another. Could you imagine if you're even a younger person and imagine that you went through a divorce. You were 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 years old. Imagine your parents and the animosity that might have occurred during a contentious divorce because these days, most divorces are rather contentious, especially because they're fraught with a lot of legal issues centered around money. Could you imagine what this does to the emotional well-being of a young person? Could you imagine the fact that they can't see a real success level out there to be in relationship, especially since the average divorce rate is 50%? Why am I bringing this up? And I know I went on a tangent, which I normally do, folks. If you follow my channel, I'm going to go down a lot of rabbit holes because each rabbit hole has some really significant bits of information that can actually help you understand the dynamics of how much of a clusterfuck it is out there in the dating marketplace. So why I'm bringing this up is because a lot of advice is based on creating fear and not real deeper connection with another human being. I'm going to repeat that. It's a lot of deep fear. And by the way, it makes it harder to determine who's emotionally mature enough to be in relationship. This is why I created my private coaching program. By the way, you can check out the link here to schedule a free discovery call with me. The reason why I bring this up is merely if you want to do a better job of vetting and you want to brainstorm with someone, then schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you. But really, here's the more important question I want everyone to lean into, because this actually demonstrates what makes a man genuinely miss you in a moment. In a moment, I'll share that. But what makes a man miss you? It's that woman who is in her empowered self. She is in her sovereignty, her self-worth, her self-esteem, her self-reliance. It's that woman who is actually genuinely loves on herself. This is why I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help, and Spiritual Work, so you can actually begin to operate not just in the dating realm, but in your own life from a place of empowerment. Folks, we have a society that is riddled, as I said before, with childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that makes them have negative patterns and limiting beliefs in their life, which makes it very difficult for them to actually lean into a healthy, happy relationship. The reality is, is most humans these days have terrible or weak emotional maturity or relationship skills. If you're not familiar with my chart, if you're brand new to my channel, my regulars know this, here's my chart on emotional maturity and relationship skills. By the way, this is not a fact. It's merely an opinion. While I suggest that 20% have clinical issues, I'm talking about people, most likely borderline personalities, bipolar personalities, sociopath personalities, narcissistic personalities, just in a few. And while they're capable of being in a relationship, there's a good chance if they're not doing some level of real deep healing on themselves, those are really challenging people to be in relationship. And while I say 20% of the population is healthy, and I'm being rather ridiculously generous when I say 20%, most everybody is dysfunctional. This is why game playing works, because it temporarily works on the dysfunctional human beings. But I'm assuming that you want a healthy, happy relationship. I'm assuming that you want to be in a relationship with a man who actually is capable of leaning into something what I call commitment. And I'm laughing here because the reality is, as most people these days are seeking companionship, connection, and sex. And what's missing is a deep level of commitment. You know, it's interesting, I posted a meme earlier today on Instagram, I just thought of it while I was just sharing this with you. But I want to share this with everybody. Look at this meme I posted. Love is a commitment to protecting another person's heart with the same passion, with the same passion you use to guard your own heart. Now, I don't like the word guard, but what I think it's really saying the word is I'm going commitment and trust in love is saying your feelings matter to me as much as my own feelings matter to me. This is why I'm such a big proponent, folks, to doing a better job of vetting people, because if you're going to give your heart to someone, if you're going to invest in someone, you want to invest in someone who actually cares about your feelings as much as your own. You know, trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, can I really count on this person? Unfortunately, we will have sex without little or no trust built in the relationship. This is why, folks, if you follow my channel, you know my rhetoric. Before the penis goes inside the vagina, read the book Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. And at least, read chapter one together about trust and commitment before you give your heart to someone. Look, let me crack my neck for a second. Okay. Sex is part of the decision-making process. Let's be honest. Women tell me, hey, look, I want to check the goods out before I'm with them, before I give my heart to a man. A man wants to also do the same. Sex is a way we bond with one another. But before you give your heart, really give your heart to another person, then I invite you to do deeper question asking to determine, are you on the same page with one another? And how this happened is through radical honesty and laying your cards on the table right from the get-go. In fact, you can even ask a guy to reverse engineer this relationship. You know, men are so fucking analytical, then ask him to listen, you're coming on strong, you want to be in relationship with me, you say all these things, reverse engineer this relationship. Go off into the future and tell me what it looks like up until the present. By the way, I'm going to repeat that, everyone, because men are so fucking analytical. Invite them to go out into the future and reverse engineer what this relationship looks like between the two of you before you ever really give your heart to a guy. Listen, most men are good guys. Let me just say this. They're just bad daters, but it's incumbent upon you to be the CEO of your life. You are in charge of your relationship, Destiny, not a man. Ladies, you have been so habitually give your power away to men and it's no wonder you're feeling unhappy in this process and oftentimes you blame men for your problem instead of looking inward and saying, what could I've done differently? So why am I sharing all this? What does this have to do with missing a guy? Well, the bottom line is this, if you really want to forge a healthy, happy relationship where you really bond with each other, then I invite you to do the following. I'm going to share those three things right now that make a man miss you. But I want to say this, missing is a function of appreciation. Let me repeat that. Missing somebody is a function of genuine appreciation. Breathe that in for a moment. When somebody genuinely appreciates you that time apart is when they actually think about you because they appreciate you. And I want to share with you three things that I have learned, especially in my new relationship that makes me appreciate this person so much more than I have with previous relationships. Now number one, men appreciate women where they can be their hero, the act of service. And what better way to be in a sense of service to someone is when you ask a man for help or his advice. Let me repeat that. Help or his advice. This is a great way to engage with a man when you say, Hey, I'd like to have, I'd like to get your advice on something. I'd like to get your advice on something that actually makes a man feel respected because that means you're genuinely value what he has to say. I repeat that you genuinely value what he has to say. In other words, and it gives him an opportunity to step up and rise to the occasion because people don't want to give advice out here cavalierly to anyone. So when you say, Hey, I'd like to get your advice on something, maybe it has to do with finance. It maybe it has to do with doing some. I remember a woman asked me and my advice on the tile she wanted to get for her kitchen, just to give you an example, whatever that advice is that you need from someone because you got to determine that for yourself. When you say, I'd like your help or I need your advice. That's a great way for a man to step up, be your hero, be an active service. And this is one stepping stone to help him appreciate you. These are little things that you can do and there's more than three things. I'm just laying out three for today. Number two, I love this one. Get together as a group. Get together with groups of people. Listen, if you follow my rhetoric, you know, the pathway to a healthy, happy relationship is social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in your personal and professional life, and intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy. That is the pathway to building the deep roots of trust. And by doing activities with other people, with friends and groups of people. All right. So I want you to think of the TV show for us boomers, you know this one, and maybe even you, Jen Xers. The TV show, I Love Lucy. Now, those who remember the show, remember there was Ricky and Lucy, the primary stars of the show, and the two neighbors, Fred and Ethel. Now, each week, Lucy and Ethel would somehow get into some calamity and the guys would have to solve the problem. Kind of goes back to the first thing I talked about getting help, getting advice, solving problems, right? But what that did was it formed a bond with these four people. And what's interesting is this bond together, when you're bonding with other people, you appreciate your partner because they are part of this process. Do you remember when Ricky and Lucy decided to move to the country to raise little Ricky and Fred and Ethel are crying because they're moving out of New York and Ricky and Lucy are crying because they're moving out of New York? But what happened in the next episode? Fred and Ethel got the place next door. Now, this is a TV show. But the point is when you do things as a couple, when you do things as a couple with other people, you actually begin to appreciate your partner as being part of the couple, them together. This is why it's, folks, I know so many of you are locked up into what you call relationships, but you barely spend most of your time on these devices. This is where you spend most of your time on these devices, texting and talking, texting and talking, texting and talking, texting and you're not really building the deep roots of trust. Men fall in love when they're doing something with somebody. It's not all about being in the bedroom and it's definitely not all about talking on the phone. Folks, you know, I engaged, I recently engaged in a long distance relationship, but in the 90 days, in the 90 period, 90 day period of time, we spent over 40 days together. 40 days, 24 seven. That's literally every other day. That's not a long distance relationship. That's even more than a long distance relationship. More in the sense that we create and we've done social activities, we've done things with groups of people. Why this is so critically important to understand is because many of you are in such shallow relationships, thinking that they're real relationships. Ultimately, the only, here, I shouldn't say the only, the most likely way two people are going to bond with each other is through those social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in their personal and professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy. That's the pathway to deeper trust. And the third way to get someone to miss or appreciate you, this is one of my favorites. It's what I just talked about. It's a mutual hobby or activity you do together. A mutual hobby or activity you do together. One of my dear friends was in a relationship with a woman who each weekend, they went hiking together. I mean, they would hike both, by the way, Saturdays and Sundays, they were constantly hiking together. And in that activity, he bonded more with her. In that activity, bonded more with her. Most of you know this story where I dated a woman some years ago. This was about a decade ago. And on our second date, she pulled out a deck of playing cards. And she said, are you into gin rummy? I said, yeah, I kind of can play here or there. And we started to play. And I'm very competitive and she was kicking my butt. But what I found myself was I looked and we were playing gin rummy, we'd go to bars, we'd go to restaurants, we played gin rummy together. And I found I missed when we when I stopped seeing her. I still wanted to play gin rummy with somebody. It is through that fun activity. You know, it's interesting, last night or in the recent time I spent with my girlfriend, she turned me on to a TV show called 90 Day Fiancé. Now, I got to tell you, I can't stand reality TV shows. I really can't stand them. And I like that it's now without commercials, at least with the channel we were watching on. Why I was interested in 90 Day Fiancé and and arranged is it's because about relationships. So I actually could get into those from a human behavior perspective. But last night, the new episode came out and she happens to be at home right now. So we put on what's that we put on video chat. We synced up our TVs at the same time and we started to watch the show together. Why I'm bringing this up is we both got involved in this show. I know people that get involved in a variety of Netflix shows. And you look forward to unpacking the show with another person. That's something I appreciate about my relationship is that that we have these activities that we have these mutual interests. And if you will, a hobby together, because that allows us to bond with one another. And when you bond with someone, you like being with them, then you appreciate them. And when you're apart, when you appreciate them, you miss them. And so I hope I've laid out those three things. And there's much more than three that can actually gain you to get a man to appreciate or miss you. I'll just read them again. Ask for his helper advice. Do things with other couples or as a group. Do things as a couple as a group. And lastly, find that mutual hobby or activity that you're both into that you both find that you bond with one another, because these are the healthy, happy relationships that tend to go the distance. Instead of those relationships are, how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. Let me text that. How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. To quote from Seinfeld. All right. I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Does this make sense? Does this resonate with you? Please let me know. In fact, I'm even going to invite in a prayer, God, universe, spirit. I invite that kind of relationship where we have amazing chemistry together. And we have that sense of communication and compatibility with one another where we do shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends together, teamwork, building skills, and that intimacy. And we share the same values and we want to build the deep roots of trust to allow our relationship to flourish because we have decided that commitment and caring about one another is our priority in life. God, universe, spirit. I invite that in. All right. I hope you've enjoyed my prayer as well. All right. This will be the space where we ask questions. If you have a question to ask of me, post a question in the chat box. If you're listening to it, whichever direction it is right now, this way. No, it's this way. No, this way. Over there is the chat box. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question there after, or you can purchase a super sticker, super chat, or a super thanks if you're watching the replay. There's a little dollar sign in the super chat or in the chat box. All the monies from the super sticker, super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. He's my son right there. That's his dog. His dog just passed away. That's Connor who passed away four years ago in his honor. I've started a scholarship fund to defray the cost of personal development and to donate to charities like the Hoffman process and insight seminars. So if you have a question, write the word question or purchase a super sticker, super chat. All right. And let's start the Q and A. All right. Let's just keep swimming. I noticed someone did do a super sticker earlier and I just want to acknowledge them. Barbara, thank you so much for the $2 super sticker. I really appreciate it. All right. Let's see if we have a question from anyone. We have a lot of dialogue going. 90 day fiance is so ratchet. I'm not sure what you mean by that. I do believe reality TV shows suck, but you know what's interesting about that? You know what? Let me share something. But while we're waiting for questions, you know what I find interesting about that show? You have 90 days to make a decision to shit or get off the pot. Think about that. You have 90 days to decide if you want to marry this person. You know, I think more relationships should be intentional about that. So I like one of the facets of the show is you got to do it. You got to make a decision quickly. You got to figure out. And I think people would be better served to dive all in 24 seven, see if you're a good fit for one another and move on if it doesn't work out. Anyways, that's just my two cents there. All right. The power of cheese says Jonathan question. How do you feel about a woman having multiple suitors non sexual? So great question. If I'm dating a woman that has many men going after her, I bow out. I had to listen if I'm going to invest myself with one person at a time, then I prefer to only date a woman who wants to date one person at a time. If now let's be clear on a meeting versus dating meeting multiple people. That's just meeting. If you meet someone for the first time, that's a meeting. If you meet them a second time, that's just a follow up meeting. If you begin seeing them after that, that's dating. And if someone has multiple has multiple dating, I have no interest in dating them because if I'm devoting, if I'm going to give my attention to get to know one person at a time, I would prefer the same thing. Now that's just my point of view. Listen, you have to do what's right for you. I just want you to think about this for a second. Let's say you have four men that you're dating. And of those four men, they're dating four women. They're going out with four women each. And that four women is going out. Can you see what a clusterfuck it is? If everybody is just looking for the next best thing, you're never going to really get to know a person. A moment ago, I talked about 90 day fiance. Listen, you got 90 days to figure it out, shit or get off the pot. Maybe we should do more of that. We just locked people in a room for 90. Listen, if you want to date me, then let's lock each other in a room for 90 days and see how well we get along. I'm saying this tongue in cheek, but maybe that's what we should be doing. Just a little thought out there. But that's my two cents on that one, Power Cheat. Thank you so much. Ivana says, long distance, how to keep the flame after four great dates has happened in Europe blank ago. And I'm very into this guy. Good luck on that one. You know what? Dating overseas, I think, is the likelihood of success is so minimal, minimal, minimal. Unless you have a plan to actually take the distance and bring it close together, all the talking and facetime in the world rarely ever works out. Is there exceptions to the rule? Yes, but it's rare that it works out. That's just my two cents on that. All right. Question. Can a person go overboard with compliments to a person such as their doctor? You know, I do believe there's a balance in communication. So if you give a compliment, ideally, they give a compliment. If they give a compliment, you give a compliment. If you're giving, giving, giving, let's just look at it this way. You give a compliment, they give a compliment. But if you're giving this many compliments and they haven't even done one, they're not even on the list, yeah, it's a little overboard. You give someone a compliment or a pre-share expression appreciation and then allow them space to do the same for you. Does that make sense? Allow space for them to do it for you. All right. Great question, Dee Dee. I appreciate that. Thank you so much. I want to acknowledge Stephanie. Thank you for your insights and advice. My son's name is Connor, too. Much love. Thank you so much for donating $19.99 to the Connor Asley Fund. I really appreciate that money is going to go to insight seminars or the Hoffman process. Thank you so much. Karen writes, question. I have only one breast due to breast cancer. How do men feel about this and when is a good time to bring it up with a potential sex partner? This is a great question. I've known many women who've had a mastectomy or double mastectomy over the years. And actually, I know one woman who's had a double mastectomy and she met her man on match.com and eventually they got married. I think they dated for about two years and then they got married and I think that was three years ago now that I think about it and she was a client of mine. So what's most important is how you feel about yourself. If you feel good about yourself, he's going to feel good about you, too. The reality is we're rarely that naked with each other anyway. And so listen, as men age and as women age, listen, we all have a fantasy of being with someone younger because we all have a fantasy of looking quite younger than what we actually are. That's the fantasy most people are living in. In fact, it reminds me of a meme I'm looking up right now. It says the sad part about growing old is that no one can see you're still young on the inside. The reality is if you hold that space inside yourself, of feeling young and good about yourself, I think you're going to be able to lean into that conversation quite easily. If you're operating from a place of fear, of rejection, you're already being rejected because you're rejecting yourself. This is why I highly recommend coming back to my book not or my book what the heck is self love anyway, a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, there's a link to get the books I recommend. You know what? I'm also going to recommend another book. This is a great book by Bernay Brown, Daring Greatly. Daring Greatly, I highly recommend reading this book because I want you to step into your empowerment because the reality is whatever is the time you tell them when you feel safe, when you feel good about yourself, and if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So that's my invitation. Does anyone else agree with me on this? Give me a thumbs up. If you do agree, give me a thumbs up. Share this video. Please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new to watching this. I hope this resonated with you. All right. I want to thank Ivana for her super sticker of $3.99. I appreciate it. All right. Winnie asked a question. I didn't see it. Hold on a second. I saw someone say, oops. All right. Wow. Wanda says, how do I question? How do we even get a man to have conversation? Most can't manage a good conversation. Ask him questions. Ask him questions. Ask him questions. Ask him questions. That's going to get him talking about himself. And if he doesn't, do you really want to be with someone who can't talk? That's no fun to me. So that's my invitation for you. Ask him questions. Queen says, why does a guy go and sleep with someone else straight away after when the sex was good between us and he could come back to me, but instead he chose to go elsewhere? There's a couple reasons for that. Some men are sexaholics. Some men are detached. Some men, sometimes when you get really close to someone, you need to detach momentarily. And that's why some men go sleep with other women. The other thing is women are easy to bed these days. The reality, look it. I'm not here to be the sexual policing what people do in the bedroom or when they have sex, but I will tell you, sex to me is an intimate act that isn't just about pleasure. It's about connecting with someone's heart. If it's solely about pleasure, then have all the sex you want. I'm not here to judge when you have sex, but I'm here to say I believe sex should be reserved for two. Nowadays, I believe this more so than ever. It should be reserved for people that want to connect at a heart-centered level. So your question is a tough one. Why does this happen? It happens for a variety of reasons. What most likely didn't happen is you didn't build a strong connection with each other to determine if you're a good fit for one another to explore a long-term relationship. In these days, because sex is relatively easy to get, you know, I saw a meme. I posted this on YouTube. I saw a meme on, bear with me a second. I saw it that said something like this. Bear with me. It's going to take me a second to find it. The meme said this. Tinder. In the United States, 35% of Tinder users are relatively young people, but I heard it. Someone says, I heard a joke on campus. First base is hooking up. Second base is talking. Third base is going out on a date. And fourth base is dating. The sad part is these days, most people are hooking up and they're not actually dating. So the point of dating is to determine if you're a fit with another person. How do we get there? Through radical honesty and laying our cards on the table. That's my invitation for everyone is to begin to approach the process with way more intentionality than they currently are doing it. All right. Great question there. Queen, thank you so much. Let's keep swimming. Cecilia. Stephanie says my suggestion maybe is that you're overthinking things just the thought no offense intended. I didn't see what was said. So all right. Didi says question. What does the divorce transition relationship also apply to a widower? Great question. So what she's talking about is transition relationships and the fact is widowers, widowers are very, you know, it's interesting. Being with the widower is very challenging because if they truly love their wife and if they had to go through some sort of emotional trauma during that person's transition, it could leave a rather deep scar wound. The reality is, is most humans these days have had multiple, multiple relationships or they've had one long-term relationship and they actually haven't done the healing over their past relationships or maybe a transition. True healing requires maybe going to therapy or seeking some real spiritual advice to heal before someone is ready for a new relationship. I can tell you after my divorce, I kept saying, I want a relationship. I want a relationship. I want a relationship. I told that for two straight years and every time I get close to someone, I'd say, I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm not ready for a relationship. I wanted that companionship connection and sex, but that really, that ability to commit took a lot more for me to get to that space because for the longest time, I just wanted that connection with another human being. I didn't realize the importance and the value of trust and commitments. This is why I repeatedly talk about this book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and I bring this up because chapter one, Lean on Me, Trust and Commitment right there, chapter one. Let's go to chapter one for just a second. This is really important to understand. You, everybody should, by the way, there's a link to all the books I recommend below, but this is all about having those tough conversations early on. Where is this chapter? Anyways, I recommend getting this book. I'm going to just stop on that, okay? I hope I answered your question. Thank you so much. All right, let's keep, everybody's having a conversation here. If you have a question for me, write the word question and post it there after so it makes it easier for me to find. Jade says, sex should be reserved for connection at a heart-centered level. I'm beginning to believe that to be much more true than ever before. I'm a guy, listen, for the longest time, I dated, had sex and really no attachment. I've certainly shift my perspective on this because I've learned, and this might grow some people out, but I prefer to have a heart-on to go along with my heart-on, okay? A heart-on to go along with my heart-on, and I know that might offend a few people, but that is what makes it more enjoyable to connect to someone with that level. All right, Winnie says, is it a red flag if he doesn't have any friends? You know, red flag means ask better questions, ask deeper questions. I think people that don't have friends have very lonely lives, and people that have lonely lives lead isolated lives, and when they lead isolated lives, they might have a hard time actually developing a relationship with someone. I'm not saying that as an absolute, I'm just saying that as a possibility. So yes, I think it's, red flag simply means ask better questions, and that's what I would do in that case, okay? All right, my neck is killing me, guys. I wish I could crack it. We might end up shortly. Jade says, understanding the importance of trust and commitment, yes. Let's see. Paul says, question, what are your thoughts on Romeo and Juliet, any particular takeaways from the story, from your perspective? You know what, Paul, it's been so long and it just, at the moment, I just don't, you know what, I don't want to comment on it. I just, it's been so long that I, you know, the story escapes, I'll be candid with you. There's so much shit in the brain that it's hard to pick apart that entire story because honestly, it's just such a vague memory in my life that I don't remember the story. I guess the question is, what particular parts of that story are you looking to unpack and are more than willing to have that conversation with you if you point out the specific area that you want to discuss? So thank you so much for that question. I appreciate it. If you have a question, post a question and write the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat. It looks like we have a bashful group tonight. You know what, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today since we have a bashful group and no questions are popping up. Listen, folks, ultimately getting back to the original conversation about appreciation. I think the sad reality today is people are dating simply for that level of companionship, connection and sex without any real level of deep exploration of commitment. And when companionship, connection and sex is so readily easily available and the need for commitment isn't, it makes it difficult to build the deep roots of trust in the relationship. And those deep roots of trust are built through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork building skills both in our personal and professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy, that builds the deeper roots of trust. And my invitation for folks and it's not just trust, it builds real genuine appreciation for another human being. This is why when I say this, rather than focusing on the gameplay way people focus on dating today, I invite you to focus on the more important things in a relationship is how do you build deeper appreciation with one another. This is why I recommend a variety of books. I highly recommend reading the book Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters. Folks, if you don't know how to build intimacy with someone, the guy certainly doesn't know how to build intimacy other than the penis in the vagina. And believe me, intimacy is a lot more than just sex. It's about really connecting at a heart center level. So I invite you all to explore this by doing some research, by doing some work, by talking to real intimacy experts, and then using these tools when you're actually in the dating process, when you're in the relationship process, and you don't need to have multiple suitors like our one person asked, and hoping that you can sift through the forest through the trees, or the needle in the haystack. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Hit that thumbs up. Let me know it's resonating with you. All right, I'll take one more question since I just noticed it. Question. When I tried to bring it up six months into the relationship we broke up, now a year in, I've met his family and friends, kids, but still know I love you. He's always busy. Should I move on? You know, if you reach the six month mark, and you haven't gotten to a place of saying I love you, or is the penis going inside the vagina? That's a question I ask. Because shouldn't you reserve physical intimacy for people that are genuinely connecting with your heart? Boy, I mean, I think, listen, what I love you means to me. At least when I say I love you, it means I'm here. You matter. We are important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere. And I only want you. Let me repeat that. I'm here. That means I'm present. You matter. That means you're just as important to me as I am important to myself. We are important. That means the relationship is a separate entity. I've got your back. That means we're part of a team. I'm not going anywhere. I'm fully committed. And I only want you, means I only want to have sex with you. Folks, that's the kind of relationship I invite you all to have. And if you've spent six months with someone and you can't reach that level of saying that to one another, then what's the point other than companionship, connection, and sex? Are you building deeper commitment with one another? That's what I invite you all to do. Is that helpful? Who asked that question? I forgot who asked. Oh, Liz. Was it Liz? Yes, Liz. Does that help? Please let me know. All right. Stephanie says, sorry, Jonathan, but I look. You got people talking. Hey, I love the chat tonight. Thanks so much for your channel. Thank you for your super sticker earlier. I really appreciate it. All right. I might take one or two more questions. Carney says, question. What is your opinion on getting involved with someone in the same workplace as you? What's that old saying? Don't shit where you eat. It used to be, I want you to think about the 1960s in the TV show Mad Men. It used to be right around the 1950s and 60s, the number one place to meet people outside of college and high school, the town you lived in was the workplace. But now that can be a very problematic thing to do. Think of all those lawsuits you see about executives and entertainment and stuff like that. But at the same time, the beauty of dating someone you know at work is you know them. That's a real benefit. They're not a stranger to you. These days, these devices were meeting total strangers. Listen, if you're genuinely compatible with one another and you're fully committed to exploring a relationship, so long as you don't fuck up your work life, I'm all for it. That's just my opinion on it anyway. Does that help? And by the way, follow your human resources guidelines. Let me just say my disclaimer, follow your human resources guidelines. I hope that helps, Carney. Thank you so much. Ah, let's see. Great question. Question, any tips for traveling with my boyfriend or girlfriend? Excuse me. It's a good question. I'm trying to think my trip to Cancun. You know, I think first off, if you're traveling with a partner is to decide how you're going to split the financial aspects of the relationship, having that conversation and finding out, finding out, knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses with each other really helps. Like my girlfriend spoke the language of where we went to. We used her strengths in some areas and we use my strengths in other areas. So basically my strength was putting up her luggage in the overhead compartment and she did the rest. But having a conversation about the trip, maybe thinking of the potential, possible problems that can happen and having a dialogue about it ahead of time, being better prepared might help you have a smoother trip together than going in blind just expecting that you both know something. Paul, does that help? I hope it does. That's a great question. Thank you so much for asking. All right. Jennifer says, what do you think about sexy text flirting? Is it too much? Well, I guess it depends on if it's the first conversation or you're in a fully committed relationship. I like the occasional flirty texts. You know, the cute emoji. What's my favorite emoji? One of my favorite emojis is just the kiss emoji. I like that. I think that's flirty. I think there's a time and place for flirty text messages. I think maybe not with the first exchange with someone you meet online, but certainly once you develop a relationship, I think it's good to incorporate sexy flirty communication with one another. I think it's a great thing to do. So that's my invitation for you. And thank you so much for that question. Fox says, listening from London, you're amazing. Jonathan, thank you so much. All right. Liz says, that helps me. Jonathan, workplace crush going on here. Well, I wish you all the best. Liz says, I'm confused because he doesn't open up and never talks about his feelings. I know he cares. I even asked him to let me know what we are and he changes the subject. Doesn't sound like a person that's on the same page with you. So I think that would be important to communicate when you're on the same page with one another. Cecilia says hugs, Jonathan, do attachment styles predict intensity or other? If you're not familiar folks with the book attached by Amir Levine or Rachel Heller, I highly recommend reading this book and checking it out. This is a great book to understand love attachment styles that cause a lot of the frustration in the dating process. I also recommend reading, by the way, all the books I recommend are listed below. Recommend getting the book, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. This helps you understand what's known as the Amago. I am A-G-O. Google that. Harvelle Hendricks, Helen Hunt and the Amago. I am A-G-O. This will help you understand why you choose the wrong person over and over and over and over again. All right. I think this will be the last question because it caught my heavy question. How normal is it to expect men engaging in prostitution? Women have been told this is normal for men to do. It is perfectly normal or not normal. Women wonder about this honestly. I think of all the guys I know, my circle of friends, my male circle of friends. I'm pretty sure none of them have gone to a prostitute. I feel pretty confident about that they haven't done that. Although I'm not suggesting it hasn't happened, I think in some ways I see a lot of people that might consider it because what's the old saying? What's the benefit of why you pay a prostitute? They can leave. I think some people rather have just casual sex than a real connection with someone. That is probably the exception, not the rule. I suspect a very small percentage of men go to prostitutes. When I say small percentage, I believe it's less than 5% of men. It's probably less than two, but I could be off. That's just my opinion. I just know the circle of people I run with wouldn't go to a prostitute and that's just my two cents on that one. As Tweety Bird, Tweety USA says prostitutes equals STD. Actually, I think they actually are much safer. By the way, that might not be true. Prostitutes probably are more protective of themselves and dating in the current marketplace, you probably have way more STD. I'm not sure that's the case, but that's just my two cents on that. Folks, I hope you got value from this live stream today. I know we covered one of the most important conversations I think that is to have and is to understand that missing is a function of appreciation. When you develop a relationship where you can genuinely appreciate one another, when you're apart, you miss them. That's my invitation from this conversation today. I hope this resonated with you. If it did, please hit that like button. Please share this with your friends. Please subscribe to my channel. I hope you found value in this. As always, if you find value in this, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic, Jonathan Barrow of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give hither them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. Let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I want to thank Jennifer and Jamie and Ouija and Empower of Chi and Queen and Stephanie and Deborah's in the house. Sorry, Mr. Question. Nadia, Tweety, Paolo, Paul, everyone who, Patricia, everyone that posted a comment. Thank you so much. I want to wish you a super duper, wonderful, fantastic evening. Take care. Bye now.