 You know how I keep telling all of you that you need to keep people in your life who tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear? Well, that's what I love about my girlfriend because after my first Alyssa Violet and Shane Dawson video, she let me know that I came off pretty insensitive and looking back, I can honestly see what she means by that. So in this video, we're going to be talking about the serious subject of abuse, emotional as well as physical as well as empowerment. So stay tuned. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about helping you improve your mental health. So what I like to do is pull things from the YouTube community or pop culture and take these subjects to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So I've been doing a lot of recaps of the Shane Dawson series, so if you're into that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So yeah, my first video that I made about Alyssa Violet and Shane Dawson, I talked about playing the victim, and my girlfriend was letting me know she just watched it late last night and she's like, hey, I kind of disagree with you on some of this stuff. And what I love about our relationship is that we can have these kind of back and forths and debates and disagree with one another and it doesn't explode. That to me is something that I haven't really had in a relationship. It's like, have you ever been in one of those relationships where every little argument turned into this gigantic thing? Well, my girlfriend let me know, she disagrees with me and I explain my views and stuff and we disagree on a few things. But through talking with her about this, I was like, yeah, I can definitely see how this came off insensitive. And that's something that I have to check myself on because I think sometimes I worry about oversympathizing with people, but then it can swing the opposite way and just being extremely insensitive. And what we got to do is kind of find this middle ground, alright? So let's talk about abuse real quick. I read pretty much all of your comments on that video and I have a large female audience. I think my audience is 82% female. So as I was reading through this, obviously a lot of you agree with my girlfriend on this subject and I was looking through it and I'm like, wow, that's not my intention with this. And I'll explain why pretty soon. One of the comments that really kind of hit me for some reason, it kind of hit me was it was a very short comment. It said something along the lines of, you know, like you may know about substance abuse but you don't know about emotional abuse, so I'm like, wait, what? You don't know me, right? So let's talk about Alyssa Violet, Jake Paul and emotional abuse. So yeah, there was definitely abuse in this relationship, okay? And it's difficult because Alyssa Violet, you know, even when she was talking like face banks and talking to Shane, like, they try not to use this word abuse because that's a pretty serious allegation. And you know, like with these kids, they're young and that's something my girlfriend reminded me about too, like they're young kids. Like it's important that we talk about this type of stuff. So while I don't know everything about this story, like when it comes to the manipulation and things like that, like a lot of what I was talking about was, you know, there was a mutual agreement for friends with benefits and all of that. But there's some things that weren't addressed in this interview that came to mind after my first video. It was never talked about in the interview, like Jake, like spitting on her. Like that was on camera, like Jake spitting on Alyssa Violet, which is not cool. Now, as far as the physical stuff, like when she shared the story about the cell phone and him, like dragging her down the stairs and all of that, like, I, like, here's the thing. Like, I'm just not a huge fan personally of like this kind of like rough housing and everything. Like, like they talked a lot about how, you know, that was a lot of it was fake and then sometimes it went over the line and people like Jake, that's not cool and all of this. But like, I don't know. That's just where I just don't like that kind of that kind of stuff. Like there was there was a video where like it was like pretty much staged, but Jake had like Alyssa and a headlock. I'm like, that can go wrong really quick. Like I know that they fake like pranks and some of them were real. Like Alyssa said, but like, I don't know, these aren't like professional Hollywood actors, you know, they don't have like stup doubles and things like that. So I just, I just think that's a very risky thing. So one thing I do want to talk about too, like when it comes to abuse, emotional abuse, as well as just like, like women and some of the conversation going on. So Alyssa Violet discusses how she was being slut chained. Right. So when she hooked up with Logan Paul, you know, people are saying, you know, slut, horrid, all these other things. Right. And Alyssa Violet said something that kind of bugged me and I'll tell you why, but she said, you know, there's this double standard, which I agree. And she said, you know, people are, you know, calling me all these names. Well, they should be calling him all those names too. I don't like that. I don't like how it's framed because basically the way she was saying it is like, well, you're being negative towards me. So you should be negative towards him. Right. And like the way I see that is I just, I just think we need to cut out that negative connotation in the first place. Right. Like, I don't know how many of you have siblings or, you know, whatever, but did you ever get in trouble as a kid just because your, your sibling got in trouble? Like that's ridiculous. That, like that's ridiculous. Like, if you had nothing to do with it. So like what I'm saying is, is that we just need to get rid of this like slut shaming. Like I was talking about this in my live stream. This world would be such a better place if people just quit caring so damn much about things that do not matter. All right. Like who cares who Alyssa Violet hooks up with. Who cares who Jake Paul hooks up with. Who cares how many people someone slept with. Like it is absolutely ridiculous that people care about this type of thing. Like, I don't know what year people think it is or what, you know, community. Like, you're like, I had somebody commenting yesterday about, you know, we had a conversation about polyamory and things like that. So yeah, the whole slut shaming thing is ridiculous. And I definitely understand what Alyssa Violet is saying, because like that is something that like really fascinates me. Like, why are there these double standards? Right. So yeah, this last part of the video, I just want to talk about abuse and and kind of like my, my journey and I'll try to keep it short and sweet. But, you know, this is a conversation. I don't even think my girlfriend and I had up until last night. But, but yeah, I understand this type of abuse. I understand emotional abuse. Like I'm the son of an alcoholic mom. I was told things as a kid from my drunk mother that you shouldn't be told as a kid. Right. And I made a video not that long ago about why you date who you date. But because of my childhood, I dated very emotionally abusive women. All right. Like I told my girlfriend a while back and like and I get why this is hard for men to talk about this. But like I told my girlfriend a while back, like I just it was a text message. I'm like, you know what I love about you? I'm like, you don't call me an idiot when I make dumb jokes. Right. And to her, you know, that might not have been a big deal. But for me, it is like because I've dated women who call me an idiot. I dated women who call me a piece of crap every single day and garbage and say, I'm never going to be anything or amount to anything. And, you know, I'm going to have to stay with them because I'll never find anybody else. I've been with women who threw things at me and hit me and destroyed my room and my stuff. And you know what I mean? Like these are the type of women I dated. Like I talked about that in one of my last videos. Like I look for crazy women. Like I wasn't just, you know, dating like women who were like kind of feisty. Like I dated women who were very, very abusive, right? Emotionally, somewhere physically. And I kept in that cycle. So when I was talking to my girlfriend about this, it comes off insensitive. I get that, but I had a journey, right? I had a journey and through my journey of recovery, like I was taught not to play the victim when I'm not the victim entirely. And let me explain that. So in 12 step programs, there's a thing called the fourth step and you break it up into columns. You've heard me talk about this a little bit about writing an inventory and you got to write down who harmed you, right? And in the last column, you got to write what your part is. And there's a lot of people who disagree with 12 step programs because of this, because it seems like we're beating ourselves up and stuff like that, but I completely disagree. Because, like, for example, when I'm writing down like my mom was a drunk and, you know, she said this when I was five, six, seven years old, da, da, da, da, da, like those things, like I had no part in that. Like I was a child. I have absolutely no part in that, you know, I was a victim. But what it did was like going through this gigantic list of all the situations in my life, I started separating like what I do and don't have control over, right? And one thing I did have control over was who I dated. One thing I had control over was who I stayed in relationships with. All right. These are things that it was very, very important for me to understand. And this is what I'm talking about with empowerment, because when I look at this stuff, I'm not always the victim, right? And like when I'm not a victim, I'm empowered. And that's what I want to offer to all of you. And that's that's kind of what I was I was aiming for. And I might have missed a mark in my first list of violent video. And maybe it's because I didn't give you more context around this. But here's the thing. Like because of this, because I wrote this stuff down and I looked at how I was treated. I looked at how I don't want to be treated, how I deserve to be treated. I cut that stuff out of my life. I cut it out of my life. Like I don't put up with that stuff anymore. I do not put up with people who are verbally, emotionally abusive to me. Like I just don't do that anymore. And it's a great feeling. And that's why I get so passionate about this. And when I talk about like, well, you know, quit making these decisions, quit making these decisions. And I get it. Like Alyssa Violet is 22. She hasn't been through this experience. And I think, you know, sometimes I talk like more in a broader sense. But like, I will say this, this is why we need more conversation about mental health and what is or isn't OK in relationships. And we need to empower one another. We need people in our lives who say, yo, your boyfriend or your girlfriend is treating you like garbage. You don't deserve that. So like, if you're watching this and you're dealing with anything, I don't care if it's a friend. I don't care if it's a family member. You do not deserve this. I do not tolerate any of that crap. I do not let people call me. I don't even let people call me up and verbally bash me. All right. Like, so when I'm like in the comment section and there's people just like saying stuff, I just laugh about it because like, I'm not going to let that affect me. But in my comments, it's a different story too. Like, I don't block people because I kind of like showcasing what jerks people are. That's why I don't block them. But anyways, what I want you to get from this thing is to take these as lessons learned, right? I want you to become empowered. I want you to know that you deserve better. I hope Alyssa knows that she deserves better, right? And here's the thing. My girlfriend and I were talking about this. And this is yet another reason why you need a few things. You need a strong support group. Alyssa should, you know, talk with a therapist. Like, we need somebody telling us, like, that was my problem. I never had anybody telling me, like, Chris, you're better than this Chris, you don't deserve this. Like, have you ever heard that term that you dated yourself a steam level? Well, I felt like a piece of garbage most of my life. So that's what I dated, right? So we need other people to build us up. And that's why I love this community. A lot of you build each other up. So I want to let you all know, like, you don't deserve that, you deserve better, OK? So anyways, let me know down in the comments below, like, what are your thoughts on the subject? Is this something difficult to talk about? What's your experience with it? Have you learned how to become empowered? What advice can you offer to the other people in this community about how they don't need to put up with that kind of crap? Like, let's talk down in the comments below, right? But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. And if you would like to help me spread a message of hope, make sure you click on that little Patreon icon right there. You can do it for as little as a dollar a month. All right, thanks so much for watching. Be empowered today and I'll see you next time.