 I got the Starlink high speed satellite internet beta package and I'm going to tell you how well it works. Where I live, you cannot get good internet. Up there, you will actually see an abortive attempt of mine to get a 4G connection to use for internet. You'll actually see my receiver has blown around in the wind. It actually doesn't matter because it wasn't even, I don't know, doing anything good anyway. Sorry, that's out of focus. That's how it is when you're staring at something a million miles away. Now, compare this. Look at all the work I put into putting that thing up there, right? That thing is producing nothing, whereas this stupid looking whiteboard, this thing is Starlink and it's actually giving me good internet. I will show you the speed test for that in a second, but while I'm out here, let me go ahead and show you how this works. Well, it really just sits there. Notice that it's on the ground. It just needs some clear sky in front of it. I plan on putting this on my house when I get the chance, but weirdly enough, it works well enough just on the ground that it's basically fine. It looks like a stupid whiteboard, but don't laugh at it because it cost me 500 bucks. Starlink, of course, in order to get the introductory package with all the equipment, which is only this in the router, basically. That's $500 and the service is $100 a month. Some people will complain about that. If you are in a position where that sounds like a lot of money to get internet, you're probably an entitled brat, frankly, because in most of the world, including here, $100 a month for internet, that would be real internet that you can actually watch stuff on and do stuff on. That could be transformative. Let me show you the instructions for Starlink and how it works. Here are all the Starlink instructions and they actually totally suck. I'm usually the kind of person who, whenever I buy something, I immediately throw out the instructions, but in the case in this novel transformative technology, I kind of wish there were more information because this is not sufficient for you to know everything about it, but the easy part is you plug everything up. You saw the receiver. I'm going to show you the router in a second and the speeds and stuff like that. Those two, you just plug them together. What they don't tell you is, so this receiver, when you first plug it all up, the first thing it will do is it will kind of shift so that it's pointing directly up, so that it's kind of flat, and that is it looking for a signal. Within a couple of minutes, it will find a signal provided that you don't have tree cover or other things getting in the way, and it will adjust to point towards the satellites, which in the northern hemisphere normally means pointing to the north. I think this little thing is trying to tell you, well, I don't know how you interpret this. What does this mean? Does it mean don't pick it up? Does it mean not touch it? I'm going to assume that what this actually means is don't try and move the receiver yourself because I tried to do that originally when I got it because I was like, okay, well, how does this work? Before I plug it up, I want to kind of play around with it. You basically can't do that. It moves itself. You have to put a lot of force on it to move it otherwise, and I think that would probably break it, but they should really say that in English or some other language. It is not clear there. But anyway, you plug all this up, then you'll get Starlink as a Wi-Fi, SSID, and then the first time you log in and it will ask you to put a password and change the name if you want. I don't know why. Why is my phone? It's not focusing correctly. Sorry about that. Okay, so these are the instructions. Let's look at the router and let's look at the kind of speeds that I get with this thing. This is the Starlink router, and I have to say, without a doubt, it is by far the weakest link in the Starlink system. Now, let me show you the good news. Let me show you the fantastic news first. Here is the internet connection. All right? Download speed, 170. Upload speed, 15, and I've gotten higher with this. This suffices. This is literally more than 170 times the internet speed that I was getting before, literally. This is like a bajillion times. I basically couldn't upload something here. Now, I will note this. See the ping zero? That's a lie. Or Zoomer say, that's a cap. I don't know what they're doing here. They are probably playing with the system. There is ping. There is latency. I will do speed test a million times and keep getting zero ping on Starlink. I don't know why. It does take a little bit of time to make a connection with the website. Once it's connected, it downloads super fast, right? 4K videos, whatever. You want to upload. It's all super fast. But yeah, the ping, I think they probably are like, I don't know, juicing the stats somehow. I don't know. I just don't believe that. I'm not a video game kind of guy, so I've never tried playing an online video game, but I suspect there's going to be some kind of latency, even though that ping says zero. Okay, so that said, what's so bad about the router? Oh my goodness, that's fantastic internet. Why are you complaining about the router? Well, that actually makes me want to complain even more about this router, because the way I view it is that if you have this new radical, new technology that has the potential to bring internet to everyone, blah, blah, blah, blah, it's transformative. Okay, the issue with that is that if you're going to give someone a router, give someone a good router that they could use, build things on, edit, at least configure and troubleshoot and stuff like this, here's the issue with this router. Okay, look at these buttons on the front. Oh, just kidding. They're not buttons. They're not indicator lights. They're not anything. They're just decoration. Where's the on and off switch on this thing? There is none. You unplug it. Like, if you want to reset your router, you got to unplug that thing. Okay. Actually, the only indicator light is on the bottom. Like, that light there is for if you have a connection, which is just absurd. It's like, why even have it? So, again, it's very simple to plug up, but the thing is, well, here's the catch. Let me show you the catch. All right, so here's my fantastic internet speed. But let me show you something. And I will say where I got this internet speed from is I got it from my little cell phone here. And what I did is I put my little cell phone right next to this router, and I did the speed test. And that's what I got. Oh my goodness. Look at these fantastic speeds. That's great. And mind you, that's what the receiver on the freaking ground. If I put it on the roof, it might be even faster. But here's the bottleneck. This thing is the bottleneck. This thing is the problem. Because let's say instead of putting my cell phone right here, I do it from the other side of the table. Here's my laptop, okay, on the other side of the table. And, you know, it probably has a worse receiver. Cell phones usually have, you know, this is an older computer. Cell phones usually have better receivers. Let's see the speed test on that, okay? Significantly reduced. You go from 170, if you're doing it right here, to less than 50 on the other side of the table. That is pretty pitiful, okay? That's pretty sad. Now, this is still super fast for me. This is fantastic. This is highly usable. But it just upsets me that I can get much faster speeds. And, you know, this isn't going to make a difference in my life. But if other people are using lots of, you know, if you have lots of people in your house using this stuff, like you lose that much data just going over the length of a table, that's pretty pitiful, okay? And it gets even worse. Like if I take my cell phone just in the room next door, it goes down just as low, right? So less than 40, I go back in the room where I had the instructions that I just showed you. It goes down even lower. So if they sent out a crappy router, that would not be a big deal in itself if that router had basic routing abilities, okay? But this one doesn't. You want to locate, I don't know, I haven't found it. Maybe you can. Can you find the ethernet port on this thing? Can you find it? Can you find it? Leave a comment in the comment section if you find the ethernet port because there is none, okay? Now, I hear that Starlink does sell other routers that, oh, you can get this to get an ethernet port. But as far as I'm concerned, that is a basic functionality of a router. And it is annoying. Like again, if you're sending this out to the whole world, you might as well just pay five more dollars to get an ethernet port to make it more usable so people can, if your receiver or if your Wi-Fi signal that it sends out is crappy, they can just hook their own routers up there, right? You can use it better in a business or a big building or something like that. It becomes much, much better. Here, it's no problem for me because I'm just like in one room, basically. This is the room I use the internet in, so it's no problem. But it just annoys me where they could have easily fixed this problem by having basic, like have a freaking ethernet port on that, but they didn't do that. That is just freaking annoying. Now, I think Starlink does have two options for like the receivers, like the packages you can get. I was never given that option. It could be that the other one that they send out, maybe it has an ethernet port. I don't know. All I know is I was never given a choice and I paid 500 bucks to get this piece of junk that doesn't have even an ethernet port on it. And that upsets me greatly. Okay, but it gets worse from there. If you want a router, everyone every once in a while needs to change their router settings. For example, when you first connect to this thing, it will ask, what do you want to name your Wi-Fi network? What password do you want to give it? Now, I will go ahead and tell you that I have no clue how to change my password or how to change my internet name once I have set it up. I have no clue whatsoever. Normally what you do on a router, provided you're not SSH-ing into it or something like that, but normally a router will have, you will go to its IP address and it will have a little menu where you can change some things like that or you could block ports or enable ports or do other kind of hacker stuff. But you might need to reset this thing. Now, if you go to the IP address on this thing, let's go there. Let's see what happens if we go to this thing's IP address. It just goes to the World Wide Web. It goes to Starlink.com. And guess what? On this site, it has nothing to do with your router. This is an internet site, right? You're not going to be able to change your router name or password or anything like that and reset it. I have no clue how to reset this thing. There are little holes that you can put a pin in and reset the router and all its data. There's none of that here. If I forget my password or if I want to change anything, I have no idea how to do that. If you want to troll a friend of yours and waste their money, you could get their Starlink package at their house before they do and set it up and then set up an SSID and a password that they don't know just like some random word and they will have no idea how to reset it because you saw the Starlink instructions. There are no Starlink instructions. And I'm sorry. I'm not going to use freaking Reddit to look this crap up, not least because no one on Reddit has any clue what's going on either because what are you going to know? That is the thing that annoys me. It is fantastic that it works. I'm going to continue to use this. I will happily pay my $100 a month for this system, but it just annoys me. It annoys me by virtue of its missed opportunity, by its opportunity cost, by its... It's like when your teachers in a high school were like, Oh, well, Luke, you have so much talent. You could achieve so much more if you did blah, blah, blah, and you're like, Oh yeah, whatever. But that's how I feel about this router or Starlink. It's like, just have a freaking Ethernet port. Just have a freaking settings menu. And oh, wait, even worse, I know that someone, well, I don't know, probably not, but there might be someone who says, Oh, Luke, you stupid person. There is a settings menu. All you have to do is do this, that, and the other. Well, how am I supposed to know that? Okay, I've been playing around with this thing with a week. I've even looked up stuff online and I can't find anything about this thing. So if you can't figure out how to do something, and there's no good way to figure out how to do something, you can't actually do it. Okay, so it's meaningless to talk about. So that's what annoys me about Starlink. But that said, it works. If you want it in the middle of nowhere, get it. I'm not vouching for it not being like a secret webcam in there that's like taking pictures of you and sending them back to Starlink HQ, but, you know, it works. That's all I can say. So that's it. Actually, now that I've said all those things about the router, I think I know what the missing link is. I totally forgot about this. This is probably the worst part for me, okay? I'm sure that there are Starlink fans who have already said, Oh, well, there is a way to change the Wi-Fi or something like that. Or at least I think, okay, I don't know that this is how you change the Wi-Fi name and all that kind of stuff. I think what you have to do is you have to download a Starlink app, okay, on your phone. You have to use your phone app to change Starlink. I'm pretty sure that actually... Well, I don't know that that is the case, but I know there is a Starlink app that they want you to get. So here's the deal. I'm never going to get the Starlink app. One, because I pay my bills online. It's all set up. I don't need a freaking phone app for that. And two, in order to install the Starlink app, as usually is the case with all these apps written by idiots, they don't publish APKs. You can't just install it. What you have to have on your phone is you have to have Google services and you have to have Apple services and you have to use Google Play and all that kind of crap, okay? So I don't have Google on my phone. I'm not going to get Google on my phone. If Starlink is a monitoring device, so be it. But I'm not going to be a part of Google's monitoring device, all right? So the only thing that Google knows about me is the videos I put on their YouTube. That's about it. So I'm not going to get that. And that is like peak absurdity. That's modern technology, actually, for you. Because instead of making things simpler, instead of making things so that anyone can use them, and you might say, oh, everyone has a cell phone. Oh, everyone is monitored by Google and has Play Store and all this kind of crap. Well, I don't, okay? Lots of people don't. And there's no reason to provide this extra, I don't know, this unnecessary layer of a cell phone app where you could just have it like every single other router. So if that is the case, I don't even know the cell phone app does all this stuff. I'm just going to assume that that is what they want people to do. And that actually goes, I should just, I'm going to declare that this is now a new video. I'm going to cut this up. I'm going to put this video up tomorrow. But this is going to be the end of the Starlink portion. And I'm going to start a new video right now.