 I just want to read from Deuteronomy chapter 6, these verses we have already read through. But since we are studying about parenting and family and children and so on, I thought it would be good for us to look at these verses again. There's Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verses 4 till 9. Deuteronomy 6 starting from verse 4 says, Here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. And you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house. When you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. So here, God is giving Israel an instruction, the people of Israel. And it's very simple and very significant at the same time, saying you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your strength, with all your soul. And these words which I'm commanding you today shall be in your heart. First and foremost, to be you who are hearing this, the words that I'm commanding, which will be in your heart, and you shall, and it goes on to say, this is what you shall do and it involves the family, it involves the children, it involves the family. So we see that God's word, God's instructions, yes, they are for us, primarily as individuals. But as we move into a season, as parents, as spouse and parents, well, the Lord instruction and the scope of that instruction extends to the spouse and family. So he says, you shall teach them and you shall talk about them and you shall let it be a visible reminder to the entire family. So meaning, this is your responsibility, you do this and let it be there for everyone. And let the whole family come under their blessing, come under the protection, come and experience, and encounter with the word of God, with God himself. So that's God's intention and that's God's plan for the family. So yeah, so let's pray and pray that we will be such a people, that we will, not only for ourselves, but also for our families that will be representatives. Many times when it comes to family, when it comes to taking up this place in our family, maybe, I don't know, we sometimes hesitate, we sometimes hold back, but it need not be so and it should not be so, because this is God's plan. Okay, so let's pray. Father, we thank you, Lord, for this day. We thank you for these words that we just read. Thank you for this reminder, God, that yes, Father, God is foremost, our relationship, our encounter, God, our walk is with you and maybe never neglect that. And secondly, Lord, you have instructed us, Lord, to be teachers, Lord, to be, all those instruments, God, to be people who will share, who will teach, who will talk about what you've done for us and what you've instructed us and in our families, Lord, with our children, with the spouse. And Father, we pray that it will be so, maybe, for each one of us, a natural overflow, a very natural overflow, Father, God. And I just pray for, Lord, homes where it is not, and I pray that you'll bring us to that place. Yes, Lord, remove everything that needs to be removed, let there be a release of healing, let there be a breakdown of barriers, let there be a breakdown of whatever is withholding, God, from coming to that place, because this is your plan and purpose. This is your design for family, for marriage and family. And so, God, we pray that it will be so. We thank you and we give you all the praise and glory at this time. In Jesus' matchless name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Okay. So, last class, we were looking at parenting and we saw how being parents, I mean, children are not inconvenienced or they're not someone to be endured. Well, it's God's plan, it's God's design for Godly offspring. And therefore, we need to really embrace that role and responsibility as parents. So, we saw that as parents, we need to embrace, first and foremost, embrace that role and responsibility. And secondly, definitely, we are the role models because we are the ones they look up to and they learn from. They're watching us very closely, following our every footstep. And more than our words, our actions, definitely speak louder. And so, they are watching and they are, you know, receiving everything. So, that is the thing then. Also, we saw that we need to intentionally train our children. I think this verse is very, very crucial that we talk about values. We talk about principles and we also address behavior. So, we train the child, train the children in the way they should go so that they will not depart from it, so that they will walk in it and it will stay with them, it will do them good all the days of their lives. So, it's as a way of preparing children for the world, it is to train them in righteousness and it is to train them in the ways of God. And also, it's various other things also in life skills. We train them in spiritual matters and also attitude and communication and also values, principles, disciplines and also life skills. And also, we address character, behavior, attitude. So, all these things, you know, as parents, so we don't have to wait or, you know, say, that is the school's responsibility or that is the church's responsibility to take care of those things or to say that, you know, I'm not equipped. Many times, we don't do it because we are not walking in it ourselves, right? Or, you know, we are not equipped ourselves. So, the thing is to get equipped, to put it in practice because we need to be good examples and to train and teach our children. So, we don't have, we should not give up this responsibility just because, you know, we don't see it in our lives. So, the correct approach is to put it in our lives, put the practice in our own lives and teach our children, right? So, as we, as children grow up, we also saw that, you know, they go through different stages. And in all these stages, let me just share the power point, in all these stages, we see that, well, it is, it requires a different level of skill, it requires a different level of engagement and involvement rather. So, the way we engage with a toddler, someone who is, you know, two years old or five years old, four years old, is not the same way we would be involved or engaged in an adolescent, you know, obviously, right? So, because they've grown up, they are able to do several things on their own and some things they are still dependent. So, it's only natural that our, the way we engage, the way we are involved in their lives, you know, changes. So, we also, you know, there are changes. We grow up, we change along with our children, you know, along with the way they grow up, we change. So, we saw some of those things that, you know, we could be nurturing, caring, we are as a playmate, we are guiding them in their childhood years. When they go to their preschool years, we are still, you know, very much involved and playing and guiding, but we are, there's more of instructing and now there's also a need for disciplining and because they are trying out boundaries, pushing those boundaries. So, there's need for disciplining, there's a need to be, you know, put down those boundaries and say, okay, expectations and also bring in be a little more authoritative and saying, okay, yes to things at the same time, no to certain things and so on. So, that is required and when they get into the, sorry, the team years, the adolescent years, then we are more of a, we are there as a, you know, a teammate, we are participating. Yes, there is a fair bit of disciplining also, but we are encouraging them and giving them responsibilities, empowering them to do certain things, you know, maybe they take on certain tasks like maybe buying things, taking certain chores in the house, they have responsibilities, maybe that's, maybe they get them to cook certain things, get them to take care of, you know, clearing the trash and, you know, arranging things in the house or washing several responsibilities that they take up and if they don't, then again, you know, we reason with them, find out why there's also disciplining. If there's willful, you know, willful disobedience, disciplining would be, you know, disciplining also would change through these years. That is something that we need to understand. It's no more of, you know, maybe a spanking or anything. It's, it's now when they're in the adolescent years. So, so it's more of sitting and reasoning and disciplining also would be maybe, you know, curtailing certain privileges, right? Withdrawing certain, sorry, certain privileges. So that would be a way of disciplining, right? Then they move into the young adult years and then adult years and, and so, so the parents are more of coaches or mentors and, and working with them, discussing things, taking, you know, collective participative decisions and, and so on, right? So it's interesting how as parents, we also change through the years and as parents, how are the way we relate to our children also needs to change. You know, the problem happens when, when we relate to them the same way, when we say, when we fuss over them and of course, as parents, it's only natural that we sometimes we just consider them as, as four-year-olds or five-year-olds or, you know, we are still protective. We are still so involved in their lives and so on. It's only natural that we feel that way. But then there is that aspect of letting go. And it could be scary. Oh, my child, you know, he or she cop up, manage, but it's a way of preparing them, preparing our children for the world also, right? With, with giving them sufficient freedom, giving them the responsibility and so that they, they, they realize their capabilities, they realize, okay, this is what their strengths are, they discover their strength. They come to a place of confidence in the world, right? So it's very important that we our, our involvement, our engagement changes over the years. Yeah, so that's, it's, it's quite important that we do that. Now, as they go through these transitions in, in these, as they are growing up, as teenagers also, you know, this, for some parents, the teenage years, or, or let's say, dealing with in the teenage years, they find it very challenging, right? Because as teenagers, the children are not quite, they've come out of their pre adolescent years. There's a lot of discovery, there's a lot of changes that's happening, you know, changes physiologically, emotionally, all those changes are happening. And therefore they are going through a stage and, and if we, it's good as parents that we are equipped. And it's also as parents that we understand whatever they are going through, right? They are, they are discovering their hormones, hormones are, you know, kicking in and they are, they suddenly find the opposite gender, you know, attractive and, and all that, right? And along with this discovery also comes certain temptations and addictions and so on. So they, they really need that firmness at the same time, the flexibility and the freedom in the right way, with the right boundaries, right? So, so it's, they would need, you know, the right parenting. So as parents, we need to understand that. So when it comes to, you know, teenagers, let me just check the slide once again, just a minute. Yeah. So we're going to look at the disciplining in a bit, but when it comes to teenagers, we need to understand that yeah, teenagers could go through a rebellious phase, you know, it defines and they say that you don't tell me what to do. You don't tell me how I should be. Don't tell me what I should wear. You know, I'll do that. So they are actually kind of learning to take charge. They are learning to take control. They are learning to walk in independence, but it can be perceived as rebellion by us if you don't understand. Well, maybe they are at certain points, but not always. So this is what they're trying to do, establish their freedom, trying to, you know, think independently, act independently, because they're able to do that, right? They've come to that stage of maybe traveling on their own or making certain decisions on their own, doing things for themselves on their own. So they're not dependent. So in wanting to communicate that independence, they might sound defiant or rebellious. So we need to understand it could be incorrectly perceived at times as defiance, but this is what they're going through, right? And also they do not want to sometimes, well, always listen to what we are saying, instructing, but they rather would want to, you know, want to go with what the peer group is saying, you know, but my friends are doing this. My friends are having this kind of hairstyle. My friends, you know, this is what everyone does. This is how we carry our books to college. This is how we do it. We don't want to take lunch. It looks very old fashioned. I'd rather eat in the cafe, you know, with my friends, I don't want to take a packed lunch and so many other things. So, you know, all these things are happening. So what are they actually going through? They want to conform. They want the approval of their peers. They want it to be accepted. So that is what they're going through. They want approval, acceptance, and a teenage years typically that even as they established their identity, they want approval and acceptance. And they, while they are independent and at the same time, they don't want to really stand out and be very different, you know. They want to be creative. They want to be individualistic. At the same time, do not want to stand out. So, you know, all this is happening. It's a very, you know, sometimes it's a very paradoxical kind of a stage. They want this as well as that. So, as parents, we need to kind of remind, you know, when wanting acceptance and wanting the approval. Well, that is fine. But at the same time, as parents, we remind that, yes, there are certain values. There's something called the truth, which is based on the word of God. And so we're not going to compromise on that. Yes, you know, you can do this. We can have individual expression, et cetera, but not at the cost of compromising on truth. Right. So, we kind of establish that, communicate that. They might be, they might come across as very, very opinionated, because they want to, they want to establish that, yes, I want to be heard. I want, I'm an individual. I'm a person of my own. I think on my own. So, I want to be heard. These are my thoughts. These are my likes. These are my dislikes. This is what I think. Right. So, they're reaching that stage and it's a good stage. At the same time, we might think, okay, you know, because they are disagreeing with things, or the way it is always done, because they are questioning, you know, why should we do that? Why should we do this? You know, why should I attend? No, that typically happens when we, when we tell our, you know, children who are in their teenage years, when we, when parents tell them, okay, we need to go to this, attend this family dinner, or we need to go together. We've been invited here, or we need to go for this wedding. No, I don't want to come. That's typical. I don't know anybody there. I don't want to come. But the whole family, you know, has been invited and the whole family is expected. But they say, no, I don't want to come. I don't want to be there. So they are kind of establishing their independence. But at the same time, we need to remind them of family values, family commitments, certain things, it's okay. It doesn't matter. We don't have to insist on each and everything. We don't have to major on some of the minor things. Say, okay, that's fine. That's okay. But also we need to be careful to establish and make sure, establish the truth and make sure that those things are not compromised. Values are not compromised. Integrity is not compromised. Truth is not compromised. So those are things we need to understand when they go through this phase. Okay, so let's look at, you know, when we look at disciplining, okay, so that's a very important aspect. You know, there could be different ways of disciplining a child. Disciplining is also part of parent things. When we think of the word disciplining, you know, sometimes it evokes a very, let's say maybe a negative thing in our minds. And the reason could be, okay, this is how I was disciplined. This is how maybe we were disciplined and it was harsh. It was painful. It broke us. It took away our dignity, maybe, you know. This is how we were disciplined and it probably, it was very traumatic, the way we were disciplined. What we need to know, understand that discipline is important. Disciplining is important. But it should be done in a way which does not shame, which does not break, which does not destroy the person, okay. The Lord disciplines us. The Lord chases us because we are His children, right. But it's not to destroy us. It is actually to make us better, right. Let's look at these scriptures, Ephesians 6 verse 4, parents do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry, instead raise them with Christian discipline, raise them up with Christian discipline and instruction. Colossians 3, 21, parents don't come down too hard on your children or you crush their spirits. And Colossians 3, 21, it says that do not exasperate your children, okay. So you're crushing them, crushing their individuality, destroying, you know, their confidence, maybe they don't feel, you know, they don't feel like doing things anymore on their own anymore. They're like, you know, constantly they're second guessing everything. That means that we have actually destroyed something in them, destroyed their confidence, destroyed their, you know, their ability to do certain things. Now that is not the purpose of discipline. And that is, that is not the right way to discipline. Probably we were disciplined that way. But maybe, you know, our parents, of course, nobody's a perfect parent. The mistakes that our parents made, we should not pass on, right, because kids are also learning and they would discipline their kids the same way. So we don't want to pass on to the next generation, right, some of the mistakes that happened to us, we don't want to pass on. So yeah. So the first thing to understand, to remember is that discipline should be kept positive. Okay. Well, maybe at us, you know, and also discipline is like we said, you know, when they are in different stages of childhood, just different stages of growth, discipline is different, right? Maybe even they are, you know, maybe five years, six years of preteens, you know, maybe five years, six years and, you know, throwing a tantrum, you go to a shop and, and they are pestering and they say, I want it. I want it. I want it. And they're crying and, you know, throwing a tantrum and falling on the ground and rolling on the ground and, you know, stamping their feet and, and shouting out. And now that, that would require a strong intervention. That would require the parent really stopping them and saying and being a little firm. So, you know, that is being told to, you know, stop it. You know, I don't want you to cry right now. Keep quiet, right? Or maybe, you know, they're holding on to some toy and they're saying, I wanted to, you know, it requires that us taking that and putting it back and saying, no, you have enough toys. I'm not going to buy it. So it is, you know, it requires that at that stage. But, you know, at a different stage, maybe they want to go somewhere and stay out beyond those, you know, times that you have actually permitted, which is safe for them. So disciplining would be different. You know, if they cross that line, then it would be different. We would mean that. Okay. Yeah. You're not doing that next time. You know, I'm not permitting you. And because you crossed this time, you know, that thing that you were talking about, that place that you wanted to go with your friends and you said that, you know, this time, there's no permission to do that. Let's skip it, right? Because you did not keep up your word with this. Let's skip that. And so discipline is withdrawal of certain rights and privileges, right? Maybe the use of their phone or laptop, maybe you saw them, you know, watching something, they say they're not supposed to. And you already told them, warned them. And then that means that you are withdrawing the, you know, the disciplining act would be to withdraw some other things that maybe they don't have access to their phones after, you know, after sundown. Maybe they don't have all they're supposed to, you know, watch whatever they need to watch in the living room that everybody is and not in the privacy of their, you know, wherever they are. I mean, in the bedroom, you know. So those kind of things, right? So keep discipline, disciplining act positive. Okay. What are positive ways of disciplining? Okay. Explaining right and wrong and consequences. Loss of certain privileges. Enforcing timeouts, like for the smaller ones, okay, timeout. You need to be here and stop whatever you're doing. And once you're feeling better, once you're, you know, once you're okay to talk about this, then it's fine. Till then, it's timeout. You'll be in this corner. And then we'll talk when you're okay. When you settle down, when you stop crying and, you know, when you stop shouting, screaming, then we'll talk. So timeouts. Also, you know, so this is, this can be a disciplining, the, when you say it's make it positive, it can be, you know, it can be something that for them also, it's a kind of learning that they learn something. And so we can do it in a loving way, in a firm way, in a positive way. Right. So second thing is for us to understand that that in the, in wanting the discipline, don't break the relationship as parent and child, like in wanting to enforce discipline or bring about discipline or bring about correction. Let the relationship be meaningful, be strong. Because only through that, with that relationship, can we discipline. So we need to have that relationship. We need to continue to engage with them, communicate with our children and be involved in their lives. You know, sometimes the children want to talk, the children want us to participate in what they're doing, maybe watch something with them, maybe go to some place with them. And, well, maybe, you know, it requires the parents to make time. It requires the parent to set up our time. Maybe the parent is also, parents are also busy and working. And, well, it requires, you know, setting up our prioritizing this and saying, okay, I will, I will do this. I will attend the school program. I will, this particular program that you are in, this performance that you are in, I will take time out, I will come and I will attend and be there to be engaged. Maybe the books that they're reading, maybe the shows that they're watching and to be there, to talk about it, to be engaged in their lives. So the child also feels that, yes, my parents are involved in their lives. They are interested in me, in my life, in what I do. Because the child should not come to a place of saying, oh, my parents don't care what I do, you know, where I am, they don't care, they don't care about me. Also, boundaries. Boundaries, when we set boundaries, it needs to be clear, it needs to be consistent. It needs to be understood, it needs to be communicated. Well, many times, boundaries are not communicated. You know, we have it in our own mind saying, okay, I will allow this, I will disallow this. But that has not been communicated to the child. So every time the child is, oh, I didn't know. And it's genuine, I didn't know. So we need to make sure that it is communicated and understood. Because many times you'll say, no, but I thought we did this, especially if they're teenagers or, but I thought we did this, but how come you get to do this and I don't do it? I should not. How come you get to eat this and I should not? So the child needs to understand. So it has to be communicated well. It has to, for example, even staying up late and so on. So they might say, but you're not sleeping right now. Why should I go to bed? These are typically what the kids would say. Then they need to know that this is the bedtime for them because they need to get up early. They need to go to school or college or wherever. So they need to have those bed times. And that is why we are asking them to do it. So boundaries communicated, make sure they understand. And then with the next thing is increasing the responsibility when they are mature, when they grow up. So gradually we give up controlling, I mean, we're not controlling all the time, but we give up our level of involvement. But we are also involved in their lives. So we're not saying I'm not going to be involved. A parent should never be at that place where the parent is saying, I'm not involved in a child's life. They've grown up. So they can do whatever they want. That doesn't happen. They're always involved. They're always engaged, but the level of involvement changes. So as they grow up, as they take on responsibilities, their responsibilities also can increase in the house, what they need to do, and so on. And the most important thing is this that when it involves parents to discipline the child, it should not be like one parent is disciplining and the other parent is actually against that discipline. That happens. So the parents need to be in agreement, come to a place of agreement saying, if our child does not adhere to these standards, then let's do this. Let's withhold certain things that this will be the consequence. So when the parents are in agreement, then the child also understands, yes, it's something serious. Both my parents are saying the same thing. It's something serious. It's something important. So I better follow. But when the child notices that one is for the other one is against, then the child would could very well manipulate that children are master manipulators. So they would, they would go to the parent who is easygoing and not really enforcing, not really strict about things. And then they would get their way with them play on their emotions and say, and then go to the other parents say, but then daddy already said, you know, mommy already said, I asked mommy when he said, okay, where are you not saying, okay. So to be in a place of agreement. So whenever it comes to certain things, you know, I'd say, that's what we say, you know, we'll check and let you know, we'll let you know, we'll discuss, but we'll let you know. Sometimes they come to, you know, at a place when you're doing things to, you know, you're busy and then and then they ask, okay, can I go here? Can I do this? Can I do this? And, you know, that was the times when you say, okay, I will check and let you know, you know, when it comes to permissions, same way with, you know, disciplining also, it could, it's good to, for the parents to discuss and talk and say, okay, if this, and this happens, you know, this is our way of disciplining. So, so to be parents to be in agreement, right? So parenting styles, when we look at parenting styles, you know, it sometimes falls under these slots or these four categories. Okay. Maybe we can, we can in fact think about our own, the way our own parents, we can actually identify the way our own parents dealt with us or engaged with us. One, it could be very authoritarian. When you say authoritarian, it means a lot of rules, a lot of demands, but when it came to relationship, it was either, you know, it was negligible or just barely there, right? But it was rules. Approval was acceptance based on how obedient you were to the rules. Right. So it was based on performance and how you adhere to the rules. Right. So what happens is it results in a lot of resentment. The child resents parents because there's been no sitting down and talking and sharing of hearts and sharing of thoughts. It has been okay. These are the rules obey it. Okay. No questions asked. Why? Because it is so, because I said it, right? Very authoritarian. So sometimes it also results in the child, you know, emotionally breaking, losing confidence in oneself, in one's ability, being, getting discouraged, lack of self-esteem and so on. So, you know, very authoritarian always. And also sometimes the other end, completely rebelling once they come out of that authoritarian environment, totally coming, becoming rebellious, going the other way extreme. I could not do the things there. You know, now I will and totally resenting the parents for what they did. The second one would be authoritative. Okay. So what do we mean by that? That means that you are still firm about boundaries, limits, standards. But along with those rules, there is also a very strong relationship. So rules with relationship. Okay. So involving, being involved with the child, loving, you know, like we said, as parents, we need to love our child, our children unconditionally, because that is how our heavenly father relates to us. Right. So he's the example for, ultimately for all parenting. So that's how he relates to us. So we need to relate the same way. So we also love them unconditionally. And so there is, there are rules there, but there is also a relationship. The third one is very permissive, meaning it's a very, with regard to limits, maybe there's, you know, very few boundaries, very few clear things. But it's very permissive, you know, almost no rules. Relationship is strong, but there are no boundaries, no expectations. There could be, you know, a very loving relationship, very accepting relationship. But there are no firm boundaries, there are no standards. So what happens is when the child grows up and interacts or in the course of, you know, growing up, interacts with the world outside, maybe to school, maybe in places where there is, where there are rules, where there are guidelines, which needs to be adhered to, then they struggle there. Okay. Struggle in the workplace, struggle in the workplace, you know, because it was very permissive thing. Everything, almost everything was granted, everything was given, you know, the child also risks being totally pampered. Realize that that is not how it is in the outside world. So find it difficult to cope in all those settings, whether it's school, college, whether it's a workplace and even in certain other, even they get married and so on. They do not understand rules, they do not want to keep rules and so on. So that's, that could be an outcome of a very permissive relationship. Well, not a very strong sense of what is right, what is wrong, easily influenceable by whatever they like, whatever catches their fancy. And also the discerning bit is not there, because it's always a very permissible kind of environment. The fourth one is totally uninvolved parenting, where the parent provides for the needs, but is totally aloof. The needs are taken care of, maybe the fees are paid, you know, education fees, everything, food is there on the table, clothing, whatever the needs are, it is there, but then the parents themselves or the other parent is disengaged, not involved. The relationship is not there, in terms of communication, virtually non-existent. So one, the child could learn to become very independent, very tough, because the child needs to do a lot of things by himself or herself. So do that. Also, the possibility is that without that guidance, there is no sense of direction. And without that communication, that thing of that assurance of being part of a family, belonging to a family, you know, is not there. So we have these four types of parenting or styles of parenting. And obviously, you know, even as we were looking at it, maybe we realized, okay, our parents were like this, our parents were like that, but then we need to parent our children in the best way possible, and which means that there need to be rules, but there also needs to be a very strong relationship in communicating those rules and enforcing and expecting the child to keep up those standards. So, okay, so as parents, we need to be in agreement. And the other thing that we see is no partiality when it comes to, you know, when there are, you know, when there are children, you know, more than one child in the household, no partiality. And then also always appreciate a firm, irrespective of which child it is, you know, what is right, what has been done right, affirm good behavior, right, encourage good behavior by affirming good behavior. So then, when we encourage, by affirming the good thing, then we are actually encouraging that it can be done again. This is what is, so when we affirm or when we neglect some bad behavior, something happens and we don't really take a call on it, that means that it has every chance to be repeated, right. So you're actually by our silence and by our involvement in that, or, you know, just neglecting that, we are in unspoken words, what we are saying is okay, that is okay. We are actually communicating that it can be repeated. It's okay to do it, right. But we, but in our minds actually, you know, we know that it's not okay, but because we neglected it, or we didn't address it, we are actually communicating that. So we need to, you know, affirm what is right, appreciate what is right, so that that can be a repeated behavior, lifestyle. Also, you know, on the same lines, do not neglect when some wrong things and wrong habits, don't neglect it, don't be afraid to address it, handle it, address it in the initial time itself. Don't be argumentative, give yourself a time out, you know, don't get worked up, don't major on the minor things, always being closure with love, closure to maybe that, that disciplining process itself with love, right, and the relationship is very important. Okay, so the, you know, as parents, we are loving them, we are providing for them, and we know that it requires obedience from, from the child, right, it requires obedience. So we are teaching the child and how to, I mean, how to bring in discipline in their lives, how to have priorities, have to have, they're equipping them, training them, and so on, and we need to, you know, communicate that, okay, it requires their obedience. It requires the way, you know, it's not like we, you can do what you want, and, you know, while we are content, we are going to love unconditionally, but we need to let them, let the child know, let the children know that we require obedience, and the disciplining is in love, so that they would obey, right. So if there is any, you know, foolishness, unthought-of decisions by the child, behavior by the child, give wisdom in its place. Don't just say, oh, that was foolish, oh, that was not right, but also share the right thing, okay, you know, this was a very careless thing that you did, okay, also share what is the right thing, right, share wisdom, and several scriptures in Proverbs talk about wisdom, Proverbs 10-1, a wise son makes a glad father, but the foolish son is the grief of his mother. There is nothing but sadness and sorrow for parents whose children do foolish things, so when you say foolish things, we're talking about, you know, being careless, being wasteful, taking, making impulsive decisions that have consequences, maybe giving in to certain things that have consequences, so by the impartation of wisdom, sharing of wisdom, then we drive out all those foolishness, right, so this is for us as parents in dealing with children, so when it comes to nurturing our children, okay, I'll just probably, you know, just at this one thing, and then we'll take a break, so in our home, we create an environment, we create an environment just like how there is a greenhouse and where plants are growing up, we create an environment where it is conducive for their growth, so it is the responsibility of the parents to create that, an environment where they are, where they are accepted, loved, an environment where there is peace, where there is joy, where there is, where you don't have constant criticism, it's the responsibility of your parents to create that environment, that environment, sorry, in the home as the children are brought up, okay, so we'll take a break now and then we'll come back after the break.