 Hi Psych2Goers. Have you been feeling empty lately? If you're feeling agitated or confused about what this lingering emptiness is, it could be loneliness and it could mean that you're experiencing it on a deeper level than you thought. We'll go through a few signs that may help you understand if what you're feeling is deep loneliness. Number one. The saying is, misery loves company, not loneliness. It's fairly logical if the equation in your head goes something like, lonely equals one person, so many people together equals no more loneliness. Following that, you'd think that a group of lonely people getting together would count. Unfortunately, that equation doesn't take into account the nuances of how people work, which is to say, feelings spread. What's actually happening is that in a group, the power of loneliness is just getting amplified instead of cancelled out. How this works is that the lonely behaviors don't work in a group. When you're lonely or generally alone, you don't need to be socially adept because you're just talking to yourself. You don't need to be self aware because the only person who is observing you is you. Now, think of a room stuffed with all these people who have no idea how to get along with each other, suddenly thrust together and told, make nice. The end result is more awkwardness, more hostility and contempt. So now, on top of the previous feelings, the lonely people feel rejected. While it is comforting to think, this person gets me and knows what I'm going through. It may be a better choice to start hanging with someone who may have been there but isn't there currently. Number two. You start gollumming out. My precious. Oh, don't worry. You probably won't start losing your hair and running around in a loincloth. If you do and that makes you happy, no shame in that. What this point means is that a sign of deep loneliness is when you develop strong attachments to inanimate objects. Come to think of it, gollum was pretty lonely. Materialism doesn't necessarily cause loneliness. However, loneliness has a tendency to produce materialism. This leads to retail therapy cycles as when buying that thing makes you for the briefest of moments feel good. So you repeat and instead of humans to keep you company, you start hoarding. You can easily see how this can add up to debt and diminished savings compounding any stress you may have already been experiencing. So next time you click the purchase now button, take a breather, ask yourself how or why you need the thing and maybe search out less spendy ways to occupy your time. Number three. You feel alone even when you're not alone. This feeling can be very disorienting because you logically know you're surrounded by your entire friend group and yet still feel isolated and disengaged. At other times, you may feel alienated and alone. When you're alone, you can't talk to anyone because no one is there. Yet when you're with your friends, you still feel like you can't talk to anyone. It's like this loneliness just keeps following you around no matter who you're with or who you're not with. That is super frustrating. As always, when you've done your best and you're still finding yourself without a plan or any solutions, reach out to someone you trust or even directly to a professional. There could be underlying issues or something others have observed that you haven't. Number four. You tend to overshare when someone is there to listen. Whoa, TMI. Do you hear that often? Have you stepped back and realized, wow, I met you literally five minutes ago and I'm suddenly telling you about my childhood traumas? This response could be a desperate attempt to use it or lose it and points to deep loneliness. Think of the starving individual who is finally allowed to sneak into the kitchen or being super thirsty after hiking through a desert and coming upon an oasis. When you get the resource that is missing, you try to seize it and use it as much as possible. After all, you think you never know when it'll be back again. So when there's finally someone there who is willing to listen and you've been without a kind, compassionate ear for so long, you got to share. People who experience deep loneliness may be worried that once this person leaves, there may not be another chance to open up and connect with someone again. Number five. You are Gollum. Your friends are the one ring. This ties in directly to the previous point. This time, though, friends are the resource and the lonely person's response is to hoard and imprison them through obsession. The source could be fear of losing all the friends or the person having low confidence in themselves to make new ones. Either way, the behavior is based on I have it and I'm keeping it forever. This is not good. And this will backfire. Friends are people, people with their own thoughts and wants, and they will leave because being hoarded and obsessed over does not mean good times. Unfortunately, if the lonely person doesn't realize they're performing this kind of lonely behavior, they may simply see it as rejection, grow more cynical and unpleasant, thus making it more difficult to create new friendships. So you're not making it up in your head. If that weird feeling is there, don't ignore it. Loneliness can happen even when all the outside factors seem to be in place to combat it. Did you recognize any of these points made? Are you seeing any of these behaviors showing up in someone you know who wasn't like that normally? We're all in this together, truly. And if you need to reach out, we encourage you to do so. Thanks for watching and see you next time.