 When you go no contact The narcissist does this When you go no contact The narcissist isn't just going to move on and forget about you They can't forget about you as you have probably learned during your relationship with a narcissist They have no separate life of their own the only meaning and purpose they had in their lives Was with you Outside of that They had nothing to fall back on and that is why When they first met you They were so fixated on you. They were obsessed Everything you were doing Seem to occupy their minds to a troubling extent Where they couldn't think about anything else They were constantly worried about you They were paranoid and hyper vigilant Jealous and insecure It's like they wanted to contain you It's like they wanted to lock you in a cage so they could use you for their own selfish needs Everything a narcissist does is for their own needs They don't really care about you. They don't care about what you want So when you go no contact with them That doesn't mean you're not going to see or hear from them ever again They only care about what they want So they will continue to monitor you. They will be watching you from behind the scenes Assuming that you are unaware that they are lurking and they get off in it It brings some level of excitement into their lives Where otherwise there was none it gives them a purpose It gives their lives meaning to check in on you and see what you're doing To see if you're progressing without them To see if you've moved on with someone else It becomes their newfound purpose in life You may think that they're not watching you But narcissists can be very sneaky They will stalk you on social media They will use fake accounts Or they will get someone else to do it And report back to them They will talk to mutual friends or people who know you They will get people to monitor you They may even stalk you themselves They're not just going to move on and forget about you It goes against the nature of their disorder They are very obsessive people They don't know how to let things go They're addicted It's like a drug And they're going to do whatever it takes to get it When you go no contact with a narcissist They're not going to disappear They're still going to be there somewhere Watching and waiting But that's not because they care about you That's not because they have your best interest in mind It's because of their own selfish need to control you They are very insecure So they have this obsessive need for control And while they're monitoring you Everything they see is making them sick It's making them very angry Because in their minds you had the audacity to move on with them Because in their minds you had the audacity to move on without them In their minds that makes you selfish Because you are supposed to take care of them You are supposed to save them You are supposed to put up with the abuse Just because you've moved on and gone no contact with a narcissist That doesn't mean they're going to accept or realize what they've done They're just going to point the finger at you As though you've tried to harm them or put them in danger Because that's how they feel when you're not around They're struggling without you And that is why you may become aware That they've enforced flying monkeys and started a smear campaign against you They have to play the victim so that they can get emotional support And they don't want anyone to see them for what they are So they will go around to friends and family Anyone that knows you And tell them all of the horrible things about you They're not just going to let you move on and live a happy and fulfilling life without them You have two options when dealing with a narcissist You either fulfill their every wish or need While tolerating their abuse without complaints Or you leave with nothing Because they're not just going to let you move on without a fight They're not just going to let you move on with everything that makes you who you are Your happiness and joy Your confidence and self assurance Your money or personal belongings Because everything you are Everything that you have Is what they need to survive That's why they targeted you Narcissists are like leeches They are parasitic and predatory And they cannot survive without you When you go no contact with a narcissist You have to be aware that they're not just going to forget about you They're not just going to let you go that easily But you have to remember that you are a separate person with your own wants and needs And what you want is not what you are going to get from the narcissist They will never respect you They will never understand you So whatever you might lose in the process of going no contact with a narcissist It's not going to be any worse than if you were to stay with them Whatever you lose in the process of going no contact with them Could never compare to what they might drip out of you over another 5 or 10 years And that's why you've just got to cut your losses You've got to leave to avoid losing more than you've already lost Because the longer you stay with them You're only going to suffer more loss or harm The less you have Or the more hurt you become They're not going to have any compassion They're not going to have any compassion for you They're only going to see you as being weak Or not being good enough for them And then they're just going to leave you So stay strong Remember your worth Remember what you deserve But rather than expecting the narcissist to change And give that to you Give yourself the love and positivity that you need And respect yourself enough To walk away Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos Check out the new Narc Survivor website At www.narcsurvivor.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts Book coaching sessions And join our support forum If you would like to donate My paypal link is in the video description Coaching enquiries You can email me at coaching at narcsurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching And I'll talk to you soon