 Guys welcome back to the 21 convention up next. We have our closing speaker for the Orlando event He's a star of the community tapes. This is his fifth time speaking at this event to you guys and He is one of the most passionate Supporters of the 21 convention, please welcome Steve Mata to the stage All right So Hey, here's how we are going to do this. It's gonna be a little bit different and unfortunately if you're watching this online You're gonna have to email us. I basically want to do this do this speech in a little bit of a different manner and I thought about a lot of stuff and Coming to these conventions can really stimulate a lot of different ways to think so I'm gonna write a few things on the board And those few things are gonna be topics for us to talk about and after I write those things We are going to hand out the microphone and Fill up some good time first off I'm going to write the whoops. I can't even spell Which is a common thing the sexual Life all right, and then I'm gonna write down. We'll do Well, we'll say rapport rapport cycling We'll write down the red Stack the famous the age-old thing and Maybe we'll write down some attraction cycling and so on so what's gonna happen here is Basically, I want to interact with you guys as much as possible, and I'm gonna try and bring it back to this I may erase some stuff. I may keep it going. I love this all the cameras. It's so good, but What's that? Oh Man, well, there's two wells. Good job. Good job. So and I wouldn't have caught that so That all being said let me let me start this off. So basically what I want to do is Who here has who's been to the community for a while? Greg Ben nobody who's been in over a year All right, who's been in it over two years and And who's been in it You brought me really really who's been in it like let's say first six months Really really all right, so that all being said when I say the sexual life What does that mean to somebody and be ready with the microphone? How about somebody who has been in it less than six months nobody nobody really What does it mean to anybody who's been in it over a year? Greg Right here to me the sexual life means embracing my sexuality and not being ashamed of it and enjoying Sharing other people's sexuality as well. Oh, you're so amazing. You're so ideal. How long have you been in this thing? Few years five years years Greg libido everybody no hold on to that microphone and The reason why I want to do this is I wanted to start a dialogue for me this whole thing Look, I started out in pickup when I met Greg What what three years ago at the 21 convention man? I remember really well It was it was all about I was I was in this phase and pick up where basically my first two years It was about being a pickup artist man. I ran with the best pickup artists I competed with the best pickup artists and at times I beat the best pick up artists That's actually actually how I became known, you know, I I hung out with sin I hung out with CJ the whole term SNL came from the whole Dallas scene and pick up where Asian Playboy was who's now moved to LA? Brock whose profit who lives in Tampa now was in Dallas like all these people did all this shit, right? And we were we we drank the Kool-Aid man We were into it and actually the first time I met Greg who asked this or who kind of like answered this question Greg actually was also in the scene and he was kicking ass and it was amazing and it was all about What was it about like it's about who you got laid by how many times you got laid the numbers you got What you did to whatever girl and all that sort of stuff that I mean still if you were to have a conversation with me About the interactions that I had today or yesterday or the day before or whatever I would still love to brag about him because I got an ego, but the more I've gotten into the whole the whole scene the more I've gotten into the type of teaching that I do and and the more I've interacted with people because that's what this is about our fundamental our fundamental like rights of humanity are our Sexuality and socialization man. It's what we all do the more. I got into it the more that something like this made sense All right The more that it it became a definition that I had to had to abide by you know I was a huge thing and it's real interesting because Greg who they they stole the microwave or oh no It's over there apparently you can't handle it now But um, but he gave a really good answer and what did I hear? I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was about exchange. It was about experiencing and it was about sharing Right when we started in the whole whole pickup industry because that's definitely what it's become less of a community and more of an industry we We all wanted to take we all wanted to get things we all wanted to define ourselves in so many ways and what's interesting about this well Man, I really wanted to let me see I'm gonna have to ask Mike if I switch this around is it gonna screw up the shot It's a little bit angled down. I'm gonna be writing a little bit funny. God. This is gonna be interesting See what kind of talent I have Yeah, a little tilt but as long as you guys can see it's good. I Write the word sexual I'll try and spell it right this time. I'll write the word life All right, and there's a few things when I write these things out that I am going to Since I have the options of colors None which are red unfortunately. We'll start with green because it's the horny color I basically have three things if I'm gonna define sexual That means being sexual with somebody that means everything that you can think about in it There's three components of it and they go in an order There's sex. All right obvious seduction All right, and there's sexuality Okay, so those three things make up my definition of sexual. Let's go over these really quick sex. It's an action, right? It's an action. We all know what it is You know it can be a whole variety of things depending on You know if you're Bill Clinton or not right Seduction is a process. It's that process of let's say we start here We meet somebody and we end here and probably probably sex is going to be in the middle of that, but it's a process It's a method. It's a it could be a system. It could be all these things, right? And then there's sexuality and we were talking about this a little bit earlier today with max But sexuality kept saying what what sexuality and I was basically like look your sexuality is your result of these two things How you have sex how you work seduction is going to result in who you are as a person your identity Your sexuality who you are big deals and then we get to this life thing And of course this seduction always leads over it does we get to life? So what is life life is going to be three things as well and We start out with we'll do identity Life is identity. It's experience. Oh Man, yeah yoga time and it's purpose okay, so These things to these two things really go together and they really exchange and they're big deals for me because I've spent basically the past five years and guys who've been in the community a long time and gotten results Actually guys who've been in the community a long time have gotten results know that a lot of people in the community Don't get results, but the guys that do get results is something about us That's that that made us crazy that hat that made us have to do these things And then when we have to do them we gain a certain sort of hopefully wisdom that come out of them and it's it's pretty interesting and When it comes to life, I say it's identity experience and purpose. All right Where we mix things up and my problem Massively with what's going on in the whole pickup scene industry and what I have a lot of trouble wrapping around my head when I come to Well different connect conventions meet people or see people doing pickup see people really investing in pickup and is Has a lot to do with these three things and these three things So identity instead of identity in order to do that we tend to We tend to have like the opposite of it and it's okay to have both But the opposite of it would would be to be fake, you know put a mask on all those things now We see this all the time whenever we're we're learning something or we adopt something new. Hey, man We have to fake it, you know, you always hear that fake it tell you make it man. It's an awesome It's an it's an awesome thing. However You fake it tell you make it And then you start having your purpose defined by those things you're not gonna you're not gonna have any sort of happiness, right? We have experience, but instead of experience. We look at systems. We look at methods We look at steps. We look at actions. We come obsessed with those things like I'm sure you You can look at the self-help industry you can look at the fitness industry You look at the marketing industry could look at the pickup industry and you see all these things You see some dude with a six pack or you go on the porn sites And there's some dude with a 20-inch penis and it's like or there's you know an add on there You know three weird questions. I brought up to a girl that made me do this We look at we look at the system man, but we don't look at the experience and instead of the purpose We look at the results. All right, and those are all good things, you know It's all good to create some sort of alter identity But if we're not respecting our own identity will be empty if we have if we have a system if we have a series of actions that we do if We did go out and get an SNL if we did have these experience where it's like oh man I did this this girl was this great breakthrough, but we don't respect the experience You know we're left empty and if we have purpose with if we have result without purpose We'll be fucked so it may be a little bit hard hard for you guys to understand But I'm gonna keep coming back to this right and I can get all into how this crosses up and all this crazy sort of shit but That all being said for the guys that have just started out in the industry which you all raised your hands So I know who you guys are and I'm gonna call on you. What is it? Let me ask you this. What is it that you expected out of? Your experiences, so what did you want? What did you want out of this when you signed up or I know when I signed up for my first email I definitely wanted a few things But what is it that you guys wanted when you first started investing in this that could be a time that could be investing in a workshop I could be any of those things I Wanted more options More options. Well, what's that mean? That means I looked back at the girlfriends that I've had in my life and about 90% of them I met at work and I wanted to see if I could start meeting More women more of the time Is it which is cool, man? There's nothing nothing wrong with the more options, but what is it? Let me let me continue to To act dive a little bit deeper here when you say More options and you started really looking at the stuff. What is the stuff that caught your eye on? The stuff in this community you mean sure sure Well it kind of grew from meeting more women to just personal development and actually that's more what I'm into right now Okay, what does meeting more women mean to you? Meeting more women. Yeah. Yeah having more fun. Okay having more social life. Okay, cool. Cool What's some other things that other people got? I know you too. I know you two suckers raised your hands over here The reason I got into this was because I was sick and tired of not having the options I wanted with the women I wanted I wanted to you know Have more women have better women to have more fun with those women I was sick of getting rejected by everyone and I was sick of you know Being left behind and in the dust while other guys were out having all the fun right, right so Before I started the speech I was talking to some people We were talking about a few things and one thing that always comes to my head when I hear stuff like this Especially when we hear what happens first when you get into the community and as my buddy Terrence says Who is a pretty influential person in the decisions I make which might say something about him as well as me but Yeah, he always tells me he's like look man If you are starving if you're starving every form of food looks good out there Every form of food looks good out there and you're willing to eat it because you're hungry But if you're already hungry, you know you have options But if you're defined by chasing that urge chasing that urge of what you want to eat all the time And in you're always in that hungry, you know mentality or habit that you've built or any of that sort of stuff You're just gonna eat shitty shitty food and we see that you know definitely definitely in American culture And that's one of the good things about the convention But when we start to get healthier with it we start to develop and change and as I was talking about this stuff before You know I gave this speech and all that sort of stuff I was I was telling a little bit about my story And I'm like man, you know, it's so crazy because when I when I joined this community I basically had I had had girlfriends I had had a lot of crazy experiences with women that weren't like good It wasn't like crazy like oh man, we're in Cabo San Lucas type crazy. It was it was not so great You know, I always think it's interesting when people talk about dark places and all that sort of stuff because It seems to be this kind of like comparing thing, but man, I know what that's like I know what that's like and then when I and I come to this community I think I had been with 12 or 13 women, you know, so a lot of people would say that's pretty good, you know 28 years old 12 13 women. All right now when I two years into it two years into the community and I was with like some pretty aggressive dudes man and It's weird because there's a lot of my identity attached to this even though I'm also at the same time saying hey look man. There's there's kind of like a crazy toxicity that came from this After two years, I had I had sex with 80 women. All right two years and some change. We'll give it that and Everything that you guys described, you know about what you want and even worse than that You know because a lot of times I'll hear stuff like man. I just want to get laid. I want to be liked I want to I want to have this experience with women I want to and I think if everybody was like really really honest in this room because when you're hungry We don't have anything to eat man. Everything looks good. I want to be able to have a girlfriend That's a fucking model. I want to be able to go into a club. I want to get 10s. I want to own the club I want to be the shit. I want everybody to respect me. I want to fuck this bitch I want to do da-da-da-da. I want to do all this shit that I see in porn because none of this shit makes sense you know because I see sex is only as an action not as an experience I see sex not as my identity but as a Mask I see sex as a result not as my purpose and I'll tell you what man everything you guys said after two years being in this community I felt the worst feeling that you can ever feel ever Look at that. Where do you want me to take it from Mike? Actually you weren't paying Okay, okay, so so look man This will be fun for you editing wise This has happened to me so many times on stage man. Okay, so You know when I started out. I was defining You know my my sex my actions of sex only as an action not as an experience It was a mask that was getting it because all I wanted was a result and not a purpose and all those things intertwined together and Man, I'll tell I'll tell you what like the the worst the worst Experiences in my life and when it was just like Terrible there were those times and anybody who has experience like a lot of the guys who are also instructors in the in the room and whatnot and Greg I know you I know you would be when I would be hooking up with a girl that was my deal That was everything everything that I could have ever wanted whether that was personality whether that was looks whether that was any of those things and It was completely empty man It was completely meaningless and that believe me there were plenty of times when I had sexual experiences with people that weren't my deal Probably more than the ones that were but that was the worst and I think that's what we get from Man, I don't hear enough of that in the community whenever I hear that in the community. That's when I go. Oh, man That's fucking awesome. That's amazing That all being said What happened was is Especially in last year's speech I started talking about the difference between pickup and seduction. All right, so Pickup has all these things which make it up and just to really briefly paraphrase It would be pick up is like a lot of things. It's nags. It's teases. It's dominance. It's body language. It's Escalation, it's value. It's social proof. It's all this sort of shit But if there's no purpose beyond it and there's only a result that we're looking for Then all we're going to be defined by our purpose is going to be defined solely by our actions, right? it's going to be defined solely by how we God man by by what we do, you know, and it's not going to be a process It's not going to be an experience and it's not in our sexuality that is going to be defined by that so that being said what I really really want to do in this is keep keep the mic moving and When it comes to pickup and seduction How do I say it? There's been a lot of talk of the convention like where people have been like Asking me like well, what's your thing? You're really good with hired guns Oh wait, is it strippers or wait? Is it you know night game or day game or all that sort of shit, dude I've been doing it a long time man. I Teach in very different ways. I have no idea even how to package my teaching except I Customize everything to you and I teach seduction which the difference between that is his pickup is defined by its actions and seduction is Defined by its purpose, which is pleasing women and and loving women and experiencing more with women But that all being said I want to open the floor towards people who to have questions towards things So please please ask more of a dialogue Nobody really really really I'm telling you man. It's gonna be good. It's gonna get good once we get rolling One time I had a conversation with you and we were discussing the palethora of women and A part of us being left each time as we chase that goal Man, can you comment on that and expand? Let me tell you something Let me tell you something this is this is one of my favorite things I went to Europe for the 21 convention and my time before that experience in the convention was some of the most Redefining experience of my life. Man. I went I went to Las Vegas with the World Seas of poker guys Had some great experiences with women there But the poker guys are pretty crazy if you know any professional poker players be aware And then I went to Austria and hung out with my friends. It's just great man. It's great It's great I get to the 21 convention and I'm like see all this chaos going on and it's just I talked to Jason savage about About you like this and it sucks. He's not here and and James Marshall about this and even Sasha about this and we're like What is this? This is so like non-sexual. What the fuck and then I eat dinner with Mike one night And man, it was like the movements of the it was fucking awesome But we were talking about this and and there's a difference, you know When you come from a purpose of actually getting stuff or when you come from a purpose I'm actually exchanging from a woman rather than getting a result from a woman It's a big thing and we were talking about sex and we were talking to somebody who had never had sex before and he was asking us about all the stuff and the industry and We were saying no no no there's all these things and I forget how the dialogue went, but I it wasn't me I believe it was Mike and he said you had said something that made me think about something that Every single girl that you experience something with every single woman that whether it's sexual whether Mainly when it's or obviously when it's sexual But even when it's social and every person that you experience something with you leave a part of yourself with a little bit Of you changes a little bit of you moves and a little bit of you augments. However Then there's that one That completely changes things and completely redefines you and man and I'm telling you one of the like three or Two years ago when I heard hypnotica speak he was talking about this, too He said there's that one and all of us are afraid of that one and all of us are at war with that one and all of us learn All these skills so that we could dominate but one day There's going to be a girl that comes along and she's actually going to change you and that is when you start to actually work Your sexuality that's when you really find out who you are and that's when you really find the beauty of Actually interacting and exchanging with another human being and here's the thing man Which also made me think of this and by all means if you have any questions just raise your hand as this is going on but Then we'll get to you, but let me finish hand the mic to Ben, but Let me just finish this in a second is that When I'm talking to somebody it has nothing to do with day game It has nothing to do with hired guns. It has nothing to do with a stripper or a prostitute or Whatever it has nothing to do with some chick or whatever in in the hallway in the daytime What it has to do with is absolutely this is that I Care and care about the human experience more than anything else and that is it and that's what allows me to connect to them It doesn't matter what the clothes I wear it doesn't matter the DHV story I tell doesn't matter that the fucking obscure social value that I have It matters that I want to connect with them and that the only two options that I have the only two options That I that I have if I get rejected are this we are not qualified to talk to each other being one I'm not qualified to talk to her or she's not qualified to talk to me number two I didn't assert myself good enough and allow her to experience it. That's it man Technique all that sort of shit is secondary to it then what's up? Okay? So the topic of your talk starts out with loneliness so given that You know yeah, you got it you there's about okay So like you know the reason why there's like people who come to dating coaches right because they're lonely Okay, and a lot of them it's because they have too much like shame you have listed there They got too much shame and they're too in their head and they're too afraid So, you know, they're not even getting to the point where they're just like, okay I'm having random sex and it's not of course. It's not mean anything It's like how do you get those people to just get out of their loneliness or to you know to get out of their head and Actually start having experiences. No man You need action you need action to get experience But if you have experience if you have action without experience you're screwed But here's the thing man is loneliness. This is the fucked up thing pick up as a tool Very few people get good. How many people here know somebody that's gotten good at the tools of pickup Like I know like three people. I know that are good, man I mean that like can go like I'm gonna go get laid. I know you know people And pretty sure you don't people but I mean the only I think three or four people raise their hand four people including me In this room of hundreds of people But uh, but the thing is is That that's kind of difficult. That's kind of difficult, but pickup is still a tool, right? It's a tool just like a knife is a tool or a gun is a tool Your dick is a tool, right? Is our gracious audience members have just said you're like me that's good, but those are tools, right? We'll get to you in a second Josh, but those those are tools if you hate women if You're lonely if you're ashamed if you're any of these things if you are full of love Then what does that tool do man? You know what does that knife do? What does that gun do that knife doesn't necessarily cut bread that knife doesn't necessarily be used for a tool to better things Isn't something that sits next to you, you know with your family and dinner anything like that It's a tool that can be used to hurt and all this other sort of stuff So when we actually learn the skills of pickup if you actually get good at them and you hold on to those things like loneliness and shame or Or fear the man it's complete. It's completely that I've done many interviews and it's like man when I was When I was like God when I won when I beat CJ and sin for SNLs in one month or whatever It was it was like dude. That's when I realized I'm like God man. What am I having sex with it's not even this chick here You know, what am I having sex with and what's so funny is you guys want to know some interesting levels of technique? It would be that that's that's that's when I started to relate with women. What am I having sex with them? I haven't I'm having sex with my shame I'm feeling like a woman When I have sex with somebody and it's a great experience It's this really cool thing happening and then afterwards all her friends talk or that guy talks shit on her Afterwards she finds out that that guy like totally played her or fucked somebody else or got another girlfriend or whatever And they feel bad about it, you know And in some ways it allowed me to get pretty insane sane rapport with women and talking on relating at that level Don't get any ideas Greg, but But but that's what it was man that loneliness doesn't change unless you work on it And that's one of the sad things about the industry man. I hear tons of people speak I look at tons of people's products, but where are they helping guys with that man? They're helping guys with a fucking action not an experience helping guys with a mask not an identity Teaching people to have sex when they don't even know how to have sex What's up Josh? What you're talking about seems to me basically Action versus experience so it seems that you're talking about superficial versus an actual connection When I go out and I talk to a lot of girls a lot of time it always starts out superficial Sometimes it gets to that connection. Sometimes it doesn't how do you progress to that connection more? So I guess man. Yeah. Yeah, which you need technique to do that, but this is interesting So how many people where do you guys go to a club to pick up women? That's where you practice cool go on the daytime How many people go to a place to actually like to pick up women all right and so and so part of the thing Is it's like pickup is like pretty obsessed with clubs or daytime or these specific styles right and here's the deal This is the reason why I would heavily heavily endorse anybody going to a place they actually liked and Enjoyed to pick people up is because you're a slave to that culture I can come in here and give a speech at the 21 convention, but I cannot change the 21 convention I can influence it. I might be able to change parts of it But I am not going to redefine the 21 convention. I can go into the club. I can go into Wall Street and I can be the shit man I can wear the suit and dance and do all that stuff and man I'm a bit too old for that but when I first started man I was fucking crazy man, you know like sin CJ any of those motherfuckers that tell me do something I do it man and and you know even if it was like just to make an ass out of myself and I could I could man if Anybody you have actually met my theater friends and They'll tell you stories of how crazy I was but dude. I would do whatever man I would do whatever and I would get attention and I could even be the shit the shit for that in that venue for a night I would redefine its culture, but guess what the next day that place still exists and I'm gone You know, so we have to submit to the cultures that were practicing our pickup in right? so if we're doing it daytime day game if we're doing it at night game if we're doing it at Somewhere on Wall Street We have to submit to Wall Street. There's a superficiality that comes into that. However, what are we serving? You know, we're not serving that we're serving something bigger than that because we value Well, whatever it is you value if you value connection if you value sexuality if you value a motion if you value Whatever different types of unique experiences those are the things you go for but how do you get there? Well? Let's do this. How do you get there? Let me? Let me go into to this The quote of the weekend is get the fuck away from me. I have a gun Actually, we'll go back to the black marker on this so Get the fuck away from me. I have a gun Let's go into what I call rapport cycling right and I talked about this at the last Convention thing, but let's actually talk about the recipe of this. You need a topic You need an opening qualifier We'll shorten it just because I can't spell and you need a ground The ground has all these parts which have to do with with perspective. Look at this. We're making things confusing We have perspective. We also have what we're attracted to Man now this angle is getting hard attractive and Why we're asking them and then we have the most amazing part of it all we have the challenge really quickly and Definitely watch Some other stuff to get the gist of this this topic is based on our identity This topic is based on what we're attracted to so Josh take back the microphone Own it baby own it and let me ask you this I'm gonna ask you this. What is it that you're truly attracted to? Confidence and girls confidence and girls. Yeah, and what does that mean? That means a girl who can be independent that means a girl that who's gonna have fun not gonna be sitting in the corner of the club You know texting or upset about something, okay, but you don't want to talk to a girl sitting and texting in the club or You don't want her to be challenged in that way you want her to be confident even when she's Experiencing the ideal what with you? It could be a walk in the park it could be sex it could be any of those things We're asking for a specific Yeah, how deep does that go because that all comes down to you man that comes down to your identity? I know you know it. Yeah, I mean it's if it's sex if it's a walk in the park something That's a real connection the real experience with her. I don't think it actually I mean I don't think it matters. I think there's an ideal, you know for each Experience I would have with her cool. Cool. Cool. So I just want everybody to like who's thinking thinking about this stuff Or if you're watching it at home I want you to realize the depth of what I'm going for with this topic So if it's confidence or security we actually what our challenge is truly going to be based on is what our ideal is How we're going in this how we're going for this rapport cycle the two things of rapport cycle at this post to accomplish is Qualification which has a whole another definition to it in itself and rapport, but it will get there So we figure out our topic our topic figures out our opening qualifier opening qualifier is something like hey What do you think about security? So you might have to do or what do you think about confidence? So you might have to do whatever super superficial shit, but your superficial shit And this is like game 101 is to isolate like that's it like isolate them So you can have this conversation if it means taking them over to the side if it just means turning them That's fine if it means taking them to another venue Isolate but that's all it's serving because we want to serve what you value What you want to be experiencing with her and the more you can define that the more you can base your actions on it So then we go with our opening qualifier. What is it? that you think is is You know being confident right and then we go with our ground our ground is going to be perspective What we're attracted to and why we're asking them that's got to be in there so our perspective and keep it like 20 seconds or so right so our ground would be something along lines of like look man See, I think attraction is a lot of things. I think confidence is a lot of things I think it can mean like how you stand up in a fight I think it could be all this sort of stuff, but to a woman what is most attractive is if she could Man if she could be so independent that if she knew what she really wanted what she really wanted wasn't owned by her Superficiality Sorry, but could see them in a balance and what really served her man. That is hot that that's what's attractive So the reason why I'm asking you is well fuck man. I just met you I see all this stuff But I think there's more I think there's more you're attractive girl. You get a lot of attention from guys So let me ask you this and this is this is really important because it's got to serve the depth The depth of my identity the depth of what I am attracted to all right, so let me ask you this What would be like a good good challenge because I like to I like to hit it a little bit harder You'd say let me let me ask you this like What's something about you? that is completely like You think is the hottest thing, but you're a little bit insecure about like what is that and let's say she can't answer because man That's a heavy qualifier. Well, guess what? You ground again you state your perspective on it You state why it's attractive and you ask why you're asking them directly And it just cycles and cycles and cycles and the more you know about your identity the more you know how to Identify those things the more that that challenge is going to be fulfilled and guess what if she can't answer And she's not qualified to talk to you Simple as that or if she gets pissed off at you by some process of what you're doing But you feel you did everything right then you're not qualified to talk to her and you walk away, man Because what is it that you're valuing you want to have an experience that you can exchange with a confident woman The more you can define that the better you can challenge it the better you can Basically do the best you can at putting a road out in front of you What else this man Roman I love that name Thanks, it's my old photo partner's name. What's that my old photo partner's name. Oh really nice nice for 26 years Well, actually more than that now he photographed only strippers Yeah, what a guy. Yeah, yeah, I said, thank you. Yeah. Yeah interesting dude. He's like this tall, too Uh This girlfriend would get pissed off. I said now a lot a lot. Yeah I really liked what you were saying in the beginning about You know the the details of pickup versus like our purpose and sure in life and all that and My questions regarding that in my experience Basically when I come to these events and I learn all these techniques, I feel like I get set back Mm-hmm. Because when we go when we go out and then I'm in my head I'm like, oh man, you know, what is the right thing to say? Am I doing it right? I'm doing it good all of that stuff right really gets in my way, right? When I'm and I've done a lot of work on my purpose and grounding myself and things like that So when I'm really present to that and I go out and I'm having fun I'm really appreciating the women for themselves and wanting to learn about them and being really interested in them Like it. I don't really remember what I'm saying, but it seems to work better. Mm-hmm. So how do you? Stay in touch with your purpose stay in touch with your appreciation for the women while learning these techniques and just like plugging them in Yeah, see okay, so this is the thing man people think purpose is this big deal But purpose is right here where where you fucking stand, you know, you let them Well, unless it messes up, but let it because you'll probably dialogue it a little bit out But your purpose is what's going on right now doesn't have to be a big deal man It doesn't have to be great It doesn't have to be grandiose or anything like that the thing is you have to know what you like, you know And if you let me go into a little bit about Man, this is so crazy The other side's dirty. Is it that's hard to see it's difficult to see here. No Okay, so we get into attraction cycles attraction cycling rapport cycling and seduction cycling an amazing brand, huh? So what makes attraction we have like opening Right, we have teases All right. We have baits We have a whole bunch of shit, but usually this is what I kind of like limit attraction to there's a whole bunch of stuff You could say it's value you could say it's like social circle and also it's a social proof or whatever But how come how come nobody nobody does this how come nobody makes all these techniques Go into you You meaning what it is you fucking want how come nobody how come nobody how like like seriously It's it's so frustrating like are the people that teach this stuff that? Like gray or inert, but how come nobody gets it to be you you want to know how easy it like here's here's one of the secrets so the red stack is like Awesome this like totally customized product, but here's what it is man when we get into like teases or nags I write customized teases and eggs for people So Roman what's something? What's what's something that you're really attracted by like if you if a girl gave you this kind of attention Right if a girl gave you this kind of attention What would make you go like oh man? That's awesome That is so I love this girl What would be one thing like what would she do like if I saw her across the room? If you started talking to and you're doing your stuff and she like you're already talking to her She gave you that type of attention. What would it be? That's a good question She's laughs she likes she likes to laugh she laughs, but she laughs at what from you She she laughs at herself She laughs at herself, you know like she takes herself lightly Okay, so she laughs okay, so she can be easy-going. She's easy-going person check this out I'll do some opening stuff, but here's here's a tease. Here's a neg and this is all I'm gonna do We're gonna take one of our standard nags We're gonna put on like a little spin of what Romans deal what Roman finds is attractive, right? Just a standard nag like oh my god. I still can't get along with you It's an easy one and then what we're gonna do is because Attraction game is all about reactions man. It's a slave to seduction. There's nothing really great about this It's a means to get isolation and generate some emotion or seduction or both, but that's it That's it. It's just kind of the superficial veneer But why don't we have it go in a direction that feels good to us? So we could just sit here and we could say like hey Like you know she's talking to you man. I can't I can't get along with you You are a girl who takes herself way too seriously You know so so then what's gonna happen is hopefully she builds a reaction. She's like no no no What are you talking about? I'm totally real man. You are a girl that like has no sense of humor man Man, you are a girl who takes like shit too seriously about yourself like man. You probably only attract assholes All right, so you're starting to try and generate attraction that's gonna motivate you and guess what happens when you do that like here's how quickly it can move like 30 seconds or less you meet somebody they start messing with you start to sense something about them Let's say I'm Roman and I know man. I really like it. I love it. I love it when a girl You know starts to laugh at herself But in a kind of cute sort of way because you're gonna define it more the more we again I mean you think about that sexual life stuff and we look at experiences But instead we have actions or systems the more we have experiences with our actions and the things that we think about the more We're gonna define them So it's you know it just keeps cycling around but you know that it's like man She has a cute sense of humor she laughs at herself, but she's kind of sweet But at the same time she kind of like warms up to me and man that's so feminine we can go we can go man Do you see I can't even talk to you anymore? Fuck you're one of those girls You don't even know how to be a woman now just joking But you have no sense of humor because see you're not even laughing you know what the fuck and she starts coming back to you She starts reacting she starts going like well no no no Oh, I can't believe you said that you say okay. Well actually come here for a second. Let me let me see something You don't need to isolate big time You she just says you you just say come here for a second Say, let me really ask you what to you is is is humor what to you is that? Guess what that is. It's an opening qualifier which turns me into my ground which turns into My challenge which then turns into obvious or ultimately my definition or frame keep going. What do you got? Well, I can see what you're talking about you can have the interaction go and have the interaction be About something that's aligned with your purpose or whatever you want that night Which I understand that to like whatever you whatever is calling to you that night What up and it's almost like you're to me in my mind. That's like working backwards What I'm curious about is it's like well, I what I'm curious about is how do I? Even before I approach or even go to talk to someone if I'm already thinking in my head about all these techniques and stuff right and for me it's kind of It's backwards thinking for me for me if I'm grounded in what I want Whether it's my life purpose or whether it's just that night to have fun and yeah new people Yeah, if I'm already grounded in that and I bring that forward then those things just generally work themselves out cool Cool, so how do I stay grounded in that when I'm trying to learn new techniques? How do I just maintain my ground and yeah my sense of being first off Let me give you one of those like asshole self-help guru like overall perspective things right that I always hate when people do this I love that yeah But when people are playing sports right or people are going into some sort of fight or people are going in for a test You do you have a game plan you have all the studying you have all that sort of stuff But the experience is taking the fucking test doing the fight or doing playing the game that's the experience right So you go into a game plan, but shit man That shit goes out the window and you have to live real life so the more you have a game plan That's good But the more you obsess is that game plan being more important than the experience you're gonna fuck yourself And that's where everybody gets all crazy like no man I talked to this guy and he told me if I do these things But if I do them in the right way because if if I do an opening in a nag and I gain value and I've shown that I'm better than them and they don't like me then I must be doing something wrong fuck that man That's why I pick up teaches you how to hate yourself man, and you'll see this with gurus Oh, like I mean their their lives are just all fucking crazy But yeah, if you're gonna hire somebody look at their life see if they've got something that you want And then to they should have clients that you can readily access and see and see if they have achieved what you want but for you What's important man is? And I always hate it when people say well just have fun just do what you enjoy But really when it comes down to it man be social Realize that there's nothing more powerful, and this is why I want to dialogue with you guys This is why I this is why I teach man I don't really well I want to make money But I teach to to experience with people man and everybody everybody that does something with me gets this especially if they're in Austin But I feel that Socializing is I don't have a big religious definition But I think it is the most one of the most spiritual things you can do when you can talk to somebody and expect nothing in return And that's huge So if you're in your head about stuff get talking to somebody get talking to somebody and don't expect a result But do everything you can to show yourself does that make sense, right? So it's like hey, you know what happened to me What was it three years ago? It was like there was all this crazy pickup shit. I was getting sued, you know, I guess I'm still in that lawsuit You know sin was burning me on this and all these people doing this And I was having all these like create I had all these girlfriends But no real girlfriends, and I had all this sex but no intimacy and I was at the 21 convention and You know it's like this is that's why it's a really important event for me And this guy Justin who was attending the 21 convention actually told me said Steve Why don't you go for the next like well until I you know kind of and I trained this guy This is a guy I coached mother fuckers giving me advice. He's like, why don't you just be honest to people? Why don't you just go be honest to people like if you're having a shitty day just say like dude I'm having a shitty day. I need to talk to somebody and dude. I actually did that. You know, it sucked I fucking sucked at game. I sucked at game And you know what also sucked is I got pissed off about it and I got mad and I got mad about all these stupid things But eventually I got better at socializing with people and then I and it still wasn't I had to Re-learn what honesty wasn't connecting with people and all that sort of stuff, but dude mixing of technique I mean I come from a Matt like dude Sin CJ are pretty like technical guys Shaft to you guys probably don't know pretty technical dudes was always and we've Chartered this shit out like we charted out emotions and you know what saddest meant when it switched from happiness And we experimented in field with all this like stupid bullshit, but It it got me to understand a technical map towards how to have these experiences with people But that was it man if anybody has approach anxiety. I say man. There's no alright approach anxiety is two things You're afraid of the hot chick in a red dress and it's like oh man fuck dude This chick is the hottest chicken. How do I talk to her? How do I talk to her? That's one thing, but if you go in a club and you're afraid of every woman Then that's another thing And that's where you have to start seeing the value of simple basic social interactions. That's a beautiful thing man It's it's it's what changes lives, you know, it doesn't change like fuck man. I can guarantee you However hundreds however many hundreds or possibly a thousand people sitting in this crowd that I'm talking to you right now I'm gonna have like less of an impact on your life than if I were directly in front of you and Same with me. I mean fuck man. I'm the same as you guys. We're all equals in this room, man, you know Seriously when it comes down to it answer your question. Yeah, thank you. What else you got anybody else? I do not know your name Jacob Oh, I'm Jacob. Yeah, and you said so Yeah When you when you said about knowing what you want. Yes, most people who start off in this Well, at least I did I didn't really know what I wanted sure and this whole experience thing make for you At least it seems to be a spiritual experience. Of course. Yeah, you bond with people you emotionally connect Yeah, when people first start out with this since they don't have Any experience they don't have the good or the bad When you wouldn't you say that you just have to do stuff They would have to go out and have to have the bad experiences dude. I Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. It's a great question because I'll I'll get on the phone with guys And they're like hey, yeah, I saw your thing and your coaching program or whatever and I'll say like hey Well, dude, what are you attracted? What do you want? And they'll be like Well, I want you know and you can totally tell they've had like no experience, which is fine But it's important that they know what they want because guess what? I can sit here and define thoroughly what I want when I start experiencing that shit's gonna change You know, there's one thing for certain in life the one thing for certain no matter how much you plan It will end up different It's like shit dude. So in in like everything that we see here It's like this is the system to learn where you're going to get this like fuck man I don't want to ever get a black belt in seduction. It's like I don't want to get a black belt in life I want to keep living, you know, I want to keep experiencing but look the thing is is I think it's very very important Very important to define what it is you want or what you think you want because right now what I think I want shit I've had I've had a pretty like stressful week. I think I want to relax. I think I want to You know see I think I want to see my girlfriend I think I want to I think I want to go hang out with my friends I think I want to go outside and sit there and smoke a cigar You know, that's what I think I want. In fact, I know I fucking want those things But until they happen that's going to define things and here's the thing man It's not about getting what you want Life has nothing to do with getting what you want. It has to do with wanting what you have right now That's that's huge. You know, there's plenty of times when I will feel Lonely or whatever, you know or afraid of things And we were talking about some an experience God just in the other room and it was like man I can do every I've been like a bad-ass motherfucker. I like You know and so-and-so was fucking with my friend I I peed in a glass and poured beer in it and made him drink it and you know or whatever You know stupid shit and like I've done some cool cool stuff some guy like there's actually speaking of odd Experiences there was we were on some party bus and some guy like wanted to fight me and I was drunk and he was drunk And I like out alphabet him and he shut up, but dude there were also times when I You know back down and couldn't do it and had to had to realize that I was afraid and that I was those things you know and that is That that's acceptance, you know and so When it comes to things especially like seduction when it comes to things like just getting attention Wanting to be loved wanting to be seen wanting to go out and have a social life that I don't have I have to realize that it's gonna be a process and the things that I want the things that I'm really trying to focus on To achieve that's great But the experience that I have in that is the beauty of it man The path that I walk on is the beauty the most amazing thing so I Don't know that was kind of like one of those space ease and type of answers, but you got it The path that you're on is the important part. It's not the destination because life is a journey. You never stop It's it's a process. I got it. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool What else what else there was somebody on this Maybe not everybody's got it all figured out AJ Look at that man. This this man this man came up to me in the parking lot. It's not a J But uh, it's okay. What is it? It's JP JP Yeah, my question is when someone is stuck focusing on getting results instead of the experience How do you backtrack and how do you fix that dude? Don't get me wrong results are good results without experience is what I'm talking about So and you can hold on to the mic because the more I know that it's specific The more that I know specifically about it the better. In fact, I'm gonna technology So the more that somebody If somebody gets too stuck on the results, we'll check it out last night. We were in field Somebody Saw a really really hot girl, right? And we've all been there Saw this really hot girl and he's like God look look at her, right? Man, she's amazing. Look at that ass and I'm like dude. Fuck Jesus. All right This is this is something pretty nuts man. God damn like I get it dude Go make that happen and he's like no and there's like other dudes around. I'm like no man Go and take it. Fuck go and get in front of them I mean if you want it that bad go and get in front of them like go go and do it Fucking no shit shit shit and and that's where we get caught in that dynamic of results versus experience so We we can get so in love with getting a result But we're afraid of the experience So we have to detach from ourselves in order to get those results and we have to always You know pretty much come back to who we are What are the specific like results that you're at or maybe from your past experiences or that you've seen with other people? With my last girlfriend. She was basically she had every quality I wanted and everything but I was so stuck in the result of Getting up like the right relationship having the right dynamics that I I was failing in the experience of enjoying my time with her Yes dude Man, I mean the best way the best way and this is what I truly believe is like part of you know You talked about the spirituality if there was a spirituality because I can't figure shit out on my own But when I can talk to somebody else, I mean it's When I can talk to somebody else I can change and fuck me and I'm a pretty stubborn person so that I think is a Spiritual move, but man, dude. I can't tell you how many times I've been there I mean, it's crazy and I was talking about this with with with my buddies But or in the other room before the speech, but I Have had so many girlfriends. There was a point when it was like I Would meet a girl that was so cool like you'll meet a lot of girls and it's just kind of like I was just doing this to do this You know, I was just kind of like seeing if I had the chops or whatever and then you'll meet a girl and Or whatever your skill set is that it's like man. This is a girl. Dude. I could date this girl I could do like man. I am gonna date this girl and it's a girl. I'd love to hang out with this is a girl that I Would want to have sex with fuck now I'm having sex with this girl and it's like this is an amazing experience fuck shit Jesus Christ and then there were times when I'd be like man I'm not a pickup artist or then it wasn't even about being a pickup artist. It's like man. I'm insecure like she's talking to this other Dude, oh man, dude. This other girl likes me. I'm not fulfilled. I got to prove it you know and all those things are happening and again What am I afraid of I'm afraid of the experience not the experience of sharing her but the experience of myself You know and man, I was just talking to max about there are all the guys in the room max about this but I was like When it really started to get bad for me What were we talking about? Oh, we're talking about SNL's I'm like man It was the worst because I'd start to get these SNL's and it was just like emptiness or or fuck it it could just be sex with anybody and it was emptiness and I I could do in Ben said well were the girls happy and I said no man I like I could please them and I could be a good date and I could go hang out with them afterwards And they would feel like women and they would feel Beautiful and maybe they'd had a better sexual experience, but mine was pretty damn good They felt empowered afterwards But I didn't get anything from it because I was afraid to experience how they would change me Just remember that that one of the first questions Mike said, you know One of them from the dialogue that I had with him was basically man. You leave yourself You know with every person you interact with there's a little bit and the deeper you get with somebody you leave a little part of yourself But that person that redefines you man, that's some fucking crazy shit You know fuck social pressure exercises, you know fuck like like, you know getting out of your comfort zone Your comfort zone is when somebody feels you right there and you can sit there and say hey I'm open to see more you're gonna pull shit out of me that I never knew you know But for a crazy person like me I had to keep pushing it and pushing and pushing and I still can you know But that's because it's that insecurity that I'm afraid to see myself You know and so that's when I start when I'm uncomfortable when I'm afraid. What do I do? I put things in a box. I make it neat I put it in a system so I can make sense out of it and then I can go like hey guys I'm good. I got a b and cd down, you know, I got my checklist here You don't have to see me and that's the difference between results versus experience or results without experience Make sense to you. Yeah, cool. Cool. Cool. Do you say no? No, you're just stretching Cool. You want to be my doctor? All right. What else? Does this make sense to any of the new guys is going over people's heads? Mario Yes, I just wanted to say her name to be like Dominant right yeah guys would know Thanks. Can you quickly elaborate again on what you mean by I'm afraid to see myself Is that you're afraid to connect? Oh, yeah, what do you mean by that? So? Is it Josh Joshua, right? Yeah, Jacob. God man. I'm so I'm terrible JP and I know a JP I should pick up but anyway, you were you were talking about wants right so I can list out my wants But until I start actually going for those wants, you know It could be like I want a glass of water until I take the step to go get that glass of water It's gonna start making making sense for me. So I Know myself the more I interact, you know, some people can go and meditate for years And that's cool, man I wish I had the discipline to do that and then you get to know yourself or however the story goes And I know people who've done that man I'd like I know a guy that's meditated silent meditation for 26 days and he's a pretty awesome guy Actually, I just texted him before I got on stage and he's like, I'm in Italy But good luck and and it's kind of a he's a really cool dude And I met him and at the most bizarre way through this whole industry, but um But The thing is is with me. I have a different different path. I'm active with things, you know, I don't have That sort of discipline maybe yet in my life. And so in order for me to find out myself It's gonna be through all you people, you know, it's gonna be whoever is in front of me and Shit dude, I'll tell you right now right now has literally been one of the craziest fucking times of my life Like fucking nuts ball times and this is why it's like I always think it's funny when people talk about state changes and this NLP and eradicating fears and all this sort of stuff because dude, I am like I Have basically been inventorying myself in a pretty fucking heavy way going through all this sort of stuff my resentments My relationships, you know, what were my motives in those things even my stuff about sex? What are all those things and dude? That all comes from me interacting with people that all comes from me socializing with people the more I do that The more I see whatever mirrors in front of me, you know The more I see that I get pissed off about this and that the more I see that I get happy about these things Because it's not just the lows man. It's the highs the more I start thinking that that uh, I'm a I'm a Gracious person in life because I got all this adoration is Also defines my lows of loneliness when nobody's paying attention to me But all those things start to hold a mirror in front of me and I'll tell you what man I mean dude last week was probably the craziest that I've been in about three years Like just completely losing my my mind on things or stability towards things. There's nothing wrong with that I mean people go through those things and maybe there is maybe I'm maybe I'm lightening it But it's because man. I'm doing this inventory. I'm pulling out all my shit and guess what I'm standing in it You know, I'm standing in I got a look at it But man, we are so obsessed with never facing that shit and I'll tell you what man When you start having sex with other people when you start interacting with other people when you start Whether I'm being hired to coach somebody and I'm and I'm talking to like you Mario right now And I'm going like hey man look let's talk like here's the part of me show me a part of you And we start exchanging in that sort of way man It might not feel good all the time and that's that's life man That's fucking life and a lot of times I'll tell you what a lot of times I have to revert back and not go on my emotional reactions Because my ecology of self all the things which are made up of me You know convince me to react and be pissed off or whatever and I have to go off certain principles You know certain principles of going like hey, you know what dude. I can't have this conversation right now I really respect you and blah blah blah blah blah or hey, dude. I stepped on your toes Dude, I don't know how to I don't know how to do anything. I don't know how to experience this You know when we're talking about that sexual life shit. I don't know how to experience this This is new new new grounds for me fuck. You're angry at me. I did something wrong Okay, I know how to do these actions just like pickup. I know how to do these I can rely on these actions I can rely on this method All right, I'm gonna do this cool. Thank you walk away But that's how I have to learn how to experience those new emotions That's how I have to learn to experience those things man If you ever want to know how insecure you could be as a man try having three girlfriends at once and really care about them You ever want to know how oh god, man. It just gets crazy, you know But why I feel I have to do those things to get those experiences man. That's part of my insanity, but uh Greg what's up? Wait for the mic wait for the mic I really like the subject to your speech and being more genuine something I've actually been working out a lot in the last few years myself as well One problem I have with this in general is and I thought you might have some good advice is sometimes I go to more I guess elite parties or exclusive parties where their environment is extremely extremely superficial and That's one time where I really seem to have trouble Breaking through that boundary and I and hopefully you know what I mean in those kind of environments where I mean It seems like everything there is fake and that's like the one time that being a genuine person Which I usually am fine with yeah It's super difficult to actually break through this kind of this facade which quite frankly I hate But sometimes in place in that environment I want to know if there's an easier way that you found to get genuine because when I try to be genuine of those people it seems to Man and let me just say here look dude I think I have a lot of pride in what I do. I have a lot of pride in working with people, but It's just like man, you know, I'm not in a place to give advice I'm in a place to share you know and you know that of all people so Think of that when when you're asking me questions or whatever But how many people can relate with that shit, man You're at a fucking party or you're at a club and you're just like fuck this shit, man Who are these people like God dude fuck, you know, they're in Everybody I wish was raising their hand. I can't relate with all you people But to me that happens all the time man all the time It's like crazy man, and there's two things that you can do man there. There's well There's a couple things you can do but one of the things that fucks with me because when that happens check this out When I am on the outside of something, let's say I didn't fit in with you guys because none of you guys raised your hand for that last question Let's say let's say Yeah, one second one second. Yeah, but I got you But let's say I didn't fit in with you guys. You know what I would do. I would judge you guys It's such a like whenever there's judgment. It's because we can't relate, you know And that's what I get man. I start to get motherfucking angry. So a lot of the times I have to leave I Can't be a part of it man. I have to get out of there But the other thing I can do is learn to accept You know and the more I can accept the more I can share and the more I can be in your circle so an action Might be to leave an action might be to go in there and force yourself to socialize But the ultimate goal is is to actually relate with those people dude. This happens to me all the time I don't drink. I don't party Well, I mean I like hang out with people but I don't do any of that shit man And I'll be at like especially it upper-class things when people are just like really into being like oh, yeah Well, you know Jacob was having some problems and you know, I mean we we were thinking like what's we didn't want to get the Porsche But we had to get the Porsche. We are whatever you know, I just can't relate to that shit, right? you know and it's uh, it It just makes me mad, but also I got to look at my reasons for being mad it may not make you mad but the more you isolate yourself from something which is goes back to even what Ben was saying the more you're like Not getting later feel you're out of the position of whatever with women the more you're gonna build up this anger and all this other sort of stuff and You know, I mean due to its acceptance and a lot of times It's it's for me to leave and to start doing the things that I like to do, you know I'll just repeat it. I'll just repeat it go go ahead great Yeah, yeah so So what are you saying is like a lot of times he has the the social skills correct me if I'm wrong to be able to You know survive or thrive or whatever in those situations But at the the same time he's not having that genuine connection in those areas and dude man That's sexuality for me that the more I do this Considerably less sex I have Because I'm saying I'm respecting myself in different ways, but dude I'm a trial-and-error kind of guy that had to learn that yeah, and I think you are too man But that's what makes you beautiful. That's what yeah, and I mean that yeah, go ahead You mentioned earlier about how we leave bits and pieces of who we are with everybody we meet and that We change everyone we meet in some way and how everyone we meet changes us in some way Can you elaborate on? what kind of ways we change others if we meet them for just a brief period of time and how they change us and You also mentioned you were afraid of how You might get very close to a woman and she might change you what kind of change are you actually afraid of her shit? Once she shows me I know I'm afraid I'll tell you that but uh, but no we look we are social beings man We are our fucking like Amazing amazing creatures like think about this shit think about this shit What we think is valuable here like we think like having a job is gonna get me pussy We think having a job is gonna get me make me happy. They're necessary components. We think having more money We think having a bigger social circle. We think like all this fucking shit man is is what's gonna do it man And you know if I do the right internet marketing tactic, right Anthony if I do the right internet marketing tactic I can just go to any beach and just do it man. I can just do whatever's happy. It's fucking great You know we think all that is there and let me tell you something man The more I realize about my own personal happiness the less I need of any of that shit and the harder It is for me to take away that shit not to say that you shouldn't have those things have them But learn that the fundamentals the fundamentals of human happiness have to do with us talking to each other All right, when you get into the idea of vulnerability vulnerability doesn't mean being weak It means that I I value my experience that I can have with you over my fears of showing myself That's what I mean Right that is one of the most important fucking things that that anybody could take away from these These experiences with people right like that's fucking awesome, man But if I think you know if I'm too attached that result, you know, and I don't get that love for people You know if if I don't realize that I can influence Somebody and also be responsible with that, but I don't also realize and I'm not responsible for my myself Seeing that getting myself into bad situations maybe or situations that I don't like, you know Then dude my experiences are going to be polluted I have to know that we're reciprocal man that we share in that way man We're we have the capability of doing so much by interacting with each other and especially with men and women Fuck man human to human. That's awesome, man because I'll tell you this dude I do not know like I mean My mind does not fucking change for for people But if I can relate to somebody if I can relate to somebody and understand that somebody who's been through the same shit that I've been through Can change? Dude that does everything and then I can start doing my actions and don't get me wrong It's not just a belief or decision. I got to act. I got to work But I got to be around people like that in order to influence in that way now with women What are some of the things that changed me man when she loves me? When she loves me for me I Don't even know what me is man. Me is a discovery that happens when I interact with people You know, I'm not saying that I'm like this confused ball of whatever, but shit dude I'll tell you what when a girl starts challenging that and I said, you know, it's like she has a sense of humor She had and this is where it starts man This is the beauty this is the fucking beauty of seduction and beauty of the whole process of this But we get caught up in like the lines and routines What do I say for this and that's helpful man, but the beauty of it is right here What started with what Roman was saying? Well, I'm attracted to a girl as a sense of humor Man, but as I grow that sense of humor becomes an interaction with me and I love it I love it when she looks at me and she can laugh at herself or when she fucks up or when you know the The chicken gets overcooked or whatever or were you know, whatever it is it could be a sexual experience It can be a domestic experience, but still that humor is there and it grows in all those ways But that somehow that little thing that spark that started off when we first met and grew into something, you know Man and it starts to get into inside of me where it truly affects me truly defines me truly changes me That's fucking scary man, because that's a power greater than myself And if you're anything like me man, I love I love all the shit that I can do I Can stand on stage and talk to thousands of guys in an audience see it went from hundreds to thousands that quick Yeah, I could I could do all that you know I can have the skills to do whatever but when in reality man I have to have something bigger than me and that thing bigger than me is all this man It's all people talking One more question because I think I'm running out of time Nobody you got up here. We go here. We go How hold on one second is there almost like some kind of a fear of connection do you think not the connection itself but But when you connect with something You put yourself on the line In a sense, I don't know the question like that has to do with you Are you just asking me theoretically? Because I can give you some space that fucking answer, but you know well A lot of times people in life don't do what they really want to do Sure, everybody wants to go connect with people sure everybody wants to be to be accepted And is is there almost like I Kind of get the feeling that that sometimes we don't actually want to connect with somebody Because if we do connect and there isn't that acceptance I Know man, we don't want the results that like we really We really really want because if we have them we might actually have to live with them You know and all these people like this is another thing which I always like is that always like Steve You don't want to be successful Because otherwise because you're afraid of it. What are you afraid of and the truth of the matter is maybe that's the case But dude, I just don't value like capitalism or whatever success in the same way that These guys who don't make any money, but theorize a lot about it, you know do but Dude when it comes down to it, we all want connection. We all want connection. We all want that Dude, I want I want all of you guys to like me You know right and you probably want all of each other to like each other and all that sort of shit, right? But that that's weakness, right? That's that's not dominant enough and pick up But the thing is is through my life experience I also need to learn to respect that and a lot of the times There's a whole bunch into that like wanting connection and getting the connection that can get fucked up I want you guys to like me So I'm gonna like be willing to be used or whatever in order to make it happen and then we have all these dysfunctional relationships I want you guys to like me, but I'm gonna chase attention so bad that you know It's gonna fuck me up I want you guys to like me that I'm gonna like be in your face so much and tell you guys do or whatever I want you guys to like me so I'm gonna, you know, create the most shiny white blank board that you guys are gonna be attracted to and buy or something like that, but The thing is is our want from for a connection We're gonna have experience in our life and we're gonna develop our purpose in our life and through that Through that we need to learn self-respect. So our desire for that connection. I want all you motherfuckers to like me But if we're not having the conversation that I feel is bettering me at the moment and then later as that conversation progresses bettering you at the moment Then out of respect for myself and respect out of those things that I value more humanity and the connection of humanity You'll give up that connection. Yes Yeah, and a lot of the times I don't know how to do it, man, and I'll tell you what All you people when you are interacting with women That's what gets challenged man because it's a beauty that you will like it's an intimacy that feels so goddamn good It's amazing. It's amazing, but at the same time it makes you a little bit bit scared You know it makes you a little bit disruptive, and it probably does the same thing for her, you know And there's all this sort of shit, but But no man, it's a beautiful thing and and I'll tell you this like I think we got a how much time do I have I Got five minutes So I'm gonna end this with this and we'll probably open up questions and see if I can strong arm Anthony to anything else No, just joking. I the thing is is the more we the more we talk about on this stage It's less of the conversation I would want to be having with you guys, you know In the most amazing thing that happens in this world the most amazing thing that I know of, you know Is an experience that we can have with each other, you know I I love teaching what I teach. I mean you can ask some of the guys that have worked with me Have you know ask them where it's taken them, and that's That's cool. I can't really tell you man. Everybody's been asking me. Well, what do you teach? You teach a style of game. Oh Steve does this or wait a minute Steve's too advanced to these things man. Fuck dude what I teach is So that you can hopefully be your best self through your experience with me and through that And I mean the other fucked up thing about it is it's like dude I value humanity in connection with people so much and I see it as such a cherished and awesome thing and Everybody I interact with and hopefully, you know, hopefully I can have an experience that can be Maximized to the best potential, you know, remember those two options that either that were qualified to talk to each other Hopefully and that I'm asserting myself to the degree that I can actually elicit something in you Those are the two best things that I can hope for but I hope that I'm having that experience with everybody But look man what I what I teach is all those things all those things when it comes down to the sexual life Is your sex only in action or is it an experience is your seduction not just a process not just a series of steps But something that you actually share with somebody does it define who you are does it build your purpose Does it build your beliefs does it shape your identity so that you can share it with somebody else is your sexuality Something which is always evolving. Fuck man. I never want to figure it out. Just like I never want to figure out life I want it to be constantly walking on that road is my life. Remember the sexual life sexual is an adjective for life man, is my life a Mask or is it me? Is my life a series of actions? Is it just a model is it something that's a bcd or is it an experience that I'm having with somebody and Is my life shaped by my results or some sort of checklist I build or is it something that has purpose? That I can carry to somebody else, man And the thing is is every single one of you guys every single one of you guys can have that experience You know everybody who is watching this and it has nothing to do with me Man because I am a slave to the world just like everybody else We're all equal parts and that's the only way that it can work or at least that's how I see it You know, there's no there's no end goal There's no there's no hierarchy in any of this man because if I have something that's better than you How the fuck can I relate with you five something that's lower than you? How can I relate with you and we can all go out there and experience and have an amazing life together, dude I will tell you this Man, there's so much about me that has been Like I said, I went into the 21 convention in London and I had this awesome experience and had Life-changing experiences with people and it was beautiful. It humbled me as a person And I walked into the room and there was so much disorder and chaos and like I'm looking at how this industry is shaped in 21 conventions An amazing form But there's just so much stimuli and there's so much desire for what this thing is and pick up in the seduction industry and all The sort of stuff I go back home and I see all this chaos and like I said, I'm in the middle of this inventory I'm in the most like crazy chaotic moment of my life man Where I feel so much emotion and so much doubt about things But the beauty of it is is that I have faith in a few things and I have faith in Principles that I will live by and one of them is to show up And no matter how much I feel this is one of those actions that I have to do because I'm afraid of what the experience is That if I am asked to speak somewhere or if I'm asked to be of service No matter where I am at I will take that job, you know And I will take that and do that and deliver and man I'll tell you this week in this weekend has been a crazy fucking weekend for me Like I said the last last Saturday and Sunday were some of the most nuts ball experiences for me And I'll tell you what man all those all of those experiences in my life when I was growing up And I thought I was like isolated when I had whatever abuse happened to me when I was like fucking, you know Getting wasted and man. I just have so much crazy shit You know in the in the smallest corner and house of a room thinking I was all alone and and doing whatever strung out and fucking Isolated myself from everybody Dude, I know what loneliness is man I know what those things are but the one thing that has changed me is stuff like this where I can open myself up to You guys and share and see what I get back and hopefully afterwards if you're interested in talking to me Man, I would love to sit there and talk to you and have this experience and hopefully have you influences me Just as much as I can influence you and if you want to do that, man I'll be out afterwards and Probably go into dinner. Hopefully I'll smoke a cigar on the patio and we can continue this but guys the sexual life Is about living life. It's about being sexual and it's about doing it with being while being you Thanks a lot