 I'm not going to beat around the bush. Annette is worse than my hair right now. In fact, it's maybe the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Before I dive in, it should be known I didn't willingly watch this film. In fact, if I were to put Annette on, I would have walked away from it five minutes into the movie, because I knew right away that this was not for me. Now, do I think that it's a full-on bad movie that no one will like? Of course not. It's rated pretty well on IMDb by the seven people that watched it. One of which is the guy that gave me the suggestion today, Patreon supporter Nada. He also runs the Discord and does movies. Great guy. I'm very sorry. I hate this movie, dude. You might have known that going in. I wasn't really sure if he thought it was a genuine masterpiece or if he was just pulling my leg. Either way, bravo. You made me sit through absolute garbage. Nada is a Patreon member at the Mithril level, which means he gets to suggest a movie and I have to watch, review, and give a shout out. So here you are. I hated this movie. Let's dive into why. Annette is a rock opera-esque musical with some Pinocchio influence. It stars Adam Driver and Marion Coteard. And I think Adam Driver even produced this because he wanted to show the world. Not only can he play a cool bad guy like Kylo Ren, or a frustrated knight in the last duel, but he can also sing and dance and be a comedian in this amazing, amazingly bad movie, Annette. Full disclosure, I'm not a big fan of musicals. On occasion, one can surprise me and I don't mind films like Grease. La La Land is like peak for me. That film's fantastic and I think maybe that's what Driver was looking at and saying, yeah, I can do that too. Except for no, you can't. Driver plays a character named Henry. I air quoted comedian earlier because that's his profession in this. He's madly in love with a woman named Ann, who's an opera singer. We join him at the top of his game, backstage. He's got his hoodie on, looking like Eminem, ready to go out into a rap battle. But actually he's wearing a bathrobe. It's so funny and edgy. He walks out into the stage to an audience that looks like they were plucked right out of a college campus. This is the artsiest bullshit I've seen in maybe ever. I can take artsy stuff to a point, but when you pass that, when you go into the experimental realm, that's where you've lost me. And that's absolutely where this movie sits. Over the course of the film, he and his wife will run into a lot of issues, mainly after they have their child Annette, who's, of course, made of wood. Let's keep going. I don't feel like that needs to be clarified any further. As I mentioned, this is a musical, and by musical I mean it's nonstop. Everyone's singing everything at all times. Even when it's more of a natural dialogue flow, it's still talked like this. We're kind of off key and pointing things out. And the actual songs have such a lack of substance. You couldn't even make a sandwich out of this thing. There's no meal to be had here. They're really just literally telling you what they're doing in the thing you're watching. Like Adam Driver might go to the bathroom and tell the audience, I'm taking a shit now. I'm taking a shit now. And that's seriously the entire song. And they might juxtapose it with something going on with the wife. Who cares? About 30 minutes into this movie, before I shut it off, I took me three different sittings to watch, by the way. It hit me what this reminded me of. And that's the nostalgia critics review of Pink Floyd's The Wall. I think that review or whatever you want to call it is like an hour long or 45 minutes long. And it's a bunch of terrible singing and bad effects work. It's just embarrassing cringe all around. And that's how I felt watching Annette. Like, who is this audience? Besides, I guess, college art students. From a production standpoint, the lighting, the visuals, there's some really good stuff there. Music I hated. Sound design, okay, just the music itself was really poorly done. And again, it was kind of like almost intentionally off note, off key. The wooden kid looked pretty cool. Completely ridiculous, but still solid, solid puppeteer work. Yeah, I mean, those are the praises. And I guess as a bonus, one of the dudes from Big Bang Theory randomly shows up in this. I had a really hard time getting through and like I said, if I saw this in theaters, or I just randomly tried to watch it on TV and it wasn't a patron request, would have walked away instantaneously. Now, if you like experimental artsy crap, I guess I can't get in your mindset. Because even if I fully take my own tastes out of this thing, when I look at it objectively, nothing like spoke to me at all. Even from an emotional standpoint, nothing they said or did even resonated the slightest bit of emotion. No response or reaction at all from me. I wasn't scared. I wasn't happy. I wasn't sad. The dude's playing a comedian and he doesn't tell a single joke. All he's doing is saying, yeah, life sucks. Laugh. Laugh. It's possible this thing's a brilliant piece of art and it all went right over my head, in which case I would reply, well, that's still the faults of the movie. If it can't dumb it down enough for me to enjoy it on a basic superficial level, then who are you really speaking to? Like a fraction of a percentage of the audience who's watching this. There should still be enough to glean for regular viewers that then can dig deeper into hidden meanings or a more brilliant art piece underneath. Give me something I can enjoy here. Damn it, Nada, you got me with this one. Good. You really did. By the time this movie's over, you have a Pinocchio girl flying above a Super Bowl style stage. I just, I was so out of it by that point that I couldn't believe this thing was still going. It is over two hours, of course. Of course, because the more miserable something is, the longer I have to sit there and endure it, right? Shout out to Nada on Patreon at patreon.com slash Adam Does Movies for this amazing, amazing film request. Got to love it. You too can become a member at patreon.com slash Adam Does Movies. It's where I make almost all of my money on YouTube. It's a pretty pathetic state of affairs for me. It's a sad state of affairs over here when you're just trying to be honest and give some valuable insight or maybe not valuable, but genuine insight. So please think about becoming a supporter at any tier level. It would really mean a lot to me or on YouTube via that joined button. All right, let me know your thoughts on this if you saw the film. Like the video if you had a good time and hopefully I'll see you around.