 Good morning to you. Thank you very much for keeping it to a high two five four. My name is Ram Agucon. As always, it is a pleasure having you. This is Power Talk. This morning we have a lot in store for you in our discussion. So, most people have this particular problem. You're dating, but your partner has this friend that bugs you. For some people, you may wonder, is it okay for my partner to have a best friend? Can I be comfortable if my partner has that opposite sex colleague or friend that they are close to? They hang out together, they go out, they have sleepovers, they go to parties, they drink together. They just are too close. Are you comfortable? The question that you are asking today is opposite sex relationships. Where is the limit? Do they have any limitation? Is there a line that needs not to be crossed? This is the question that we are posing today on our discussion. What are the limits of opposite sex relationships? Can men and women just be friends? So many have come up and said no. While others have said yes, it is possible for people to just be friends. In my panel today, I am joined with Liwa Mwenyewe, a comedian, TV host. He is a killer. I am also joined by Afeji. She is an artist. Thank you for having me. I don't know how to say this, but this is going to be a very interesting show. Be part of this conversation. The hashtag is always on Twitter. Make sure that you also go to our Facebook page. You post a question there on our page on Facebook. Drop in your comments. We shall sample them up during this conversation today. Now, many people have also sent in a clip of themselves. We also ask our viewers, if at all you have any thoughts in regards to this particular conversation, send us a one minute clip of yourself and we shall play that right here on Power Talk on Y255. If you don't know anything, you can ask me in the last week. Did you watch TV? Yes. Send us a clip of yourself. One minute clip about what you think of this. Is it possible for men and women to just be friends? What are the limits? This is the question that we have posed for you. Head over to Facebook, head over to Twitter, and we shall sample these comments that you have posted later on on this conversation. This is Power Talk. Let's get them on. Don't talk about passing. Afiji, can men and women just be friends? I believe so. It's very possible. And are there limits? Definitely, there are limits. There are friendships that don't work because there are people who cross the boundaries. There are friendships that work because people are just genuinely, they are just genuinely friends. They care about each other as friends. Now what are these limits that are there? For people just, what are just friends? I mean you should do what you should care for your friend without looking at them as a lover, without having any feelings for them, without expecting anything more than just friends. I hold on there. And men and women just be friends? It's possible. Are there limits? Of course. What are the limits? To what extent are we sharing? Is it talks? Is it time? Moments? Should just be our limit. There's no contract. That's the problem here. If I would start from there, there's no contract here. Because we don't meet like we were meeting Afiji. The first thing, the friends, so let's write down. Mostly we just get ourselves into the whole bus and now we're moving on. But I think maybe now it's up to somebody to look at the red flags. We'll start from there. Now, both of you. There should be lines that are close, that are there. But those lines aren't quite elaborated or put forward. But now it's all about knowing how much you care. There's that limit of care. Let's give different examples of friendship. Let me start with going out. Will you be comfortable if your partner goes out with their best friend? Yeah. I don't see the big deal. You're talking about your relationship and then there's another friend. Yes. You're dating a lady called Marion. And Marion has this best friend Alex. Will you be okay if Marion and Alex, those are just examples, are go out on a date. They come late at night. What's the funniest thing? Going for a date. What time? Going out. It can be a daytime going out or a night going out. One of the factors that we must look at is that when I meet Marion, I'm just using her as Marion, Marion's head friends. Marion's head friends. So I'm coming into her life, maybe I'll ask things like for how long have I known Marion to know now her friend or whatever. Saku is this. From her Saku, if we have stood for some time, the problem right now is that maybe we're into relationship for three or something months, but come on maybe six or something, come on your month or something, I'll have known something about Marion, the friends and then if I feel this, something I want to ask about Marion who is Ram, then she has told me exactly what Ram is and I'm comfortable, then I don't think it's a problem. But we may normally get more jealous to these issues. I think it's there the way Ram. A lady will ask who was calling you? Are you cheating on me? Who is that? I love them. The man will tell you that we are just friends. To them is caring. So it's okay if your man goes out with that female friend. As long as they are just friends and they've expressed towards each other, we are just friends. You are my friend. But how can you know that they are just friends? You can know, when you look at people hiding out together, you can know if maybe one of them has feelings for the other or maybe they are just friends. People who are just friends behave like brother and sister. What's up? In the mood of going out, how do brothers and sisters behave when they are out and how do people who are just friends go right to them? Yes, normally. I would go to church to talk about the discerning spirit. But there's something else Ram. The thing that depends on a figure here is my girl. And then I would come and I would come around. I would come around. I would come around. I would come around. I would come around. I would come around. I would come around. Even the chicks, if the girl, my friend is a mouse, she's cute. You know the problem? This girl is a woman, and then you feel like, but of course for the chicks, they talk about... There is that part where you're going to be insecure. You're going to be a little bit insecure. But you know it also depends on the relationship you have with your partner. So if you trust your partner and you see... If you just look at them, you'll see that there's a problem. But some people literally these people are just friends, maybe they're childhood friends or they grow up, you know. And then you trust your partner and you'll just be like, you'll be okay with it. We're starting today, in a week, she introduces somebody. But this person, is there a limit to protect time you need? You had this friend. We can even be in a relationship and then I meet a friend after... But as long as I introduce my friend to you and then I tell you, this is my friend. We met at work, blah blah blah, there's nothing going on. We can even hang out with three of us so that you can see these people are friends. I don't think there's a problem. You're telling me something that I am. Okay, if your boyfriend or your fiancé or your husband goes out with ladies. Not ladies. No, she's talking... The friend is a lady? Not ladies. You know when he's saying going out with ladies, it just seems like random ladies, you know. No, they're both friends. They're lady friends, female friends. Yeah, if they're his female friends, close friends have nothing, completely nothing going on between them, it's okay. But if I can tell among those friends there's one or two of them who have something beyond friendship, they want something more than just friendship. And how can you tell? You can just tell. Let me give different examples still. Form of greeting. How should people of the opposite sex or just friends greet? What are the limits? Don't cross. Thank you. Thank you. I'm talking about something that I also practice and because I'm an actor, I have a group. We have both genders and I teach everybody not every day I'll come and hug you. Not every day. There are some things you can be doing every now and then and you interpret them differently. So let's just take care of each other. There's always when we start a friendship it can happen. So how do we prevent it? There are some other things that you should not really do to send the wrong signals. They're the way you should hug. Sometimes I can hug for a few years at a time. But to me it's all about limiting. Secularity. Because some day I just greet you. Is it about the mode of hugging over the number of times you hug? I think it's the mode of hugging. The mode of hugging? To me sometimes also if I'm hugging from Monday to Sunday it's one day we'll stop. I don't hug. I just say in my mind that those are just principles that when maybe many ladies are there or something So once in a while I'll hug. Sometimes just hi, hi. That's the same person. So you put a line that for her today we'll hug. It's just a problem. It's just a problem. It's just a problem. Despite that maybe most of us hug you come at your keyboard. It has something sometimes. Is there any form of greeting that should be there amongst best friends of the opposite sex? I don't think so. But if you keep hugging your friend who is the opposite sex and they kind of start misinterpreting the signal you can see maybe you keep hugging and then once in a while they make weird jokes so they start to get too close to you. I think you just step back and just let them know So who should step back? If you are the first one to realize and you feel like we should just take friends you should be the first person to step back and maybe let that person know or maybe the way he said it once in a while if you see this person maybe he might misinterpret the hugs you give them a handshake you know Because even in a group I am set up I am wondering I am looking here in the studio I am trying to find out what example to give someone she is going to give an example there is a way people hug you come together there is a way there is a way there is a way there is a way there is a way there is social distancing but there is you know I hope you get the difference which one is it that is good or suitable for best friends amongst all these hugs it is different maybe if you haven't wish those are the old things most of the time they hug you but don't squeeze someone for too long you are squeezing someone you are squeezing someone for too long you are too affectionate you might do it the first time because you are wearing a belt but the second time even I am telling you there is something about women men we can go to a place and see girls and they hug you and you say you hug them and you say ok I love how you do it but there is a signal you say I think even hugs there is a story when you say you hug someone and you say it's not just about the hug the greeting has a lot of things have you had someone who is your best friend and then you felt something off with that greeting even if it's not just a hug but even just that handshake and you feel something is off how should a lady react in such a scenario I think the same way I have just said you just take a step back maybe that person has not realized that maybe that hug was awkward so you just take a step back maybe if something else happens again between your friendship maybe they mention something they act weird you can tell this person maybe you are starting to cross the borders you are no longer friends anymore I think Amianza Quanezo hopes Kituineza happen I will start preparing for the vacation but you are not but you are locked how do you step back how do you step back how do you react how do you react how are you how are you in such an awkward moment I make a joke as long as your friends are not there you make a random joke you make a joke you make a joke that whole situation that's what they want is it awkward for them I mean if you are not interested to cross that border to me I think it's a good etiquette if I will use that word don't make a lady feel to me I don't if we are good friends I should not do some things I should not do some things that to me they are not supposed to be whatever even if you are my girl even if you are my girl I should not know I know there are times now if you are friends if you are not make somebody feel uncomfortable I have a man I have ever met a lady the lady is like come on she is like she is your friend she is your friend and your wife is watching her I love to be your wife I love to be your wife you are with your groupie this person and he is like you are a statement the other side has explained you are a statement you are a statement and you know the question what are the limits to this how should friends behave in public you have stayed for long without seeing each other you miss each other it has been months, weeks or even years the first time and then you see there is a way and then you see there is a way you can be friends for long that is a different one let me go to facebook and sample a few of your comments why is it coming here Ron is if it is coming here Abraham and I say I will buy it but it will be here where I will take a step further we always fall in love with our friends wow how many best friends are we seeing getting married to each other many but they are once friends it depends you can have a friend they normally say marry your best friend they normally say marry your best friend not all friends not all friends they are like I am a bro you can tell them anything you are just close to each other you are open to each other but there is nothing anything between us Israel diverse thank you so much Aliwa my perspective on this matter I would like to have a friend of the opposite sex that has limit it varies they have their talk as girls what they call girl talk you can't involve yourself in it as a man 2. you cannot be in a room just the two of you many have broken this rule and found themselves in situations they were not supposed to be in too wow wow we shall talk about that they can be friends but with some limit this is where wisdom should be applied don't act like your lovers attracting everyone's attention behave wisely in such a way that no one realizes there is something going on cool dolly jolly has made so many comments there dolly jolly thank you so much I can't read all of your comments there but anasema avoid privacy it will lead to emotions which can lead to unwanted sex unwanted pregnancy avoid discussing sex sensitive issues which are supposed to be kept a secret it may cost you at the end of the day unless you are planning to marry don't hug so tight number 3 don't hug so tight for a long time it will create a feeling of love remember unlike poles attract like poles repel avoid wearing clothes that are seductive which expose sensitive parts of the body that may lead to raising and alarm avoid she has said something here that avoid things avoid things like posting photos together it will end up raising unnecessary alarms alarms there are so many comments avalito priyanka anasema yes they can be good friends provided each one of them gets self-control I mean there are things we can do and there are things we can't do I will continue reading your comments there as we continue this conversation alright so let me come to your Fiji Fiji sleepovers your best there is a comment that I really agree with she said don't go into private don't be in a private room together with your best friend because you never know we are all human beings I am an adult, that person is also an adult they have got emotions anything could be wrapped out of nowhere you are not guaranteed that the fact that we are friends nothing could happen so don't be in a private room with someone of the opposite sex expecting them to just look at you as a brother and sister and yet she is not your sister what about it in a case where if you can avoid that situation avoid it what about it in a case where this is your boyfriend fiance whichever and this is your lady friend your girlfriend, your wife she is going to sleep over to her best friend's house the best friend also has their girlfriend so she will tell you that honey please don't be mad at me if anything he is my best friend and if anything also we are just going for sleepover to have a good time you know if you now talk about marriage it is a very different thing it is a very different arrangement there are things which are not really unless maybe she is a friend to maybe we are friends like a family and the other family we are friends, that could be a bit a different thing guys do that, you can go visiting because you are going to talk to the other lady despite you know the guy sometimes that arrangement is not that easy as such but if the wife is there that is not a problem I think I will be believing that the other woman is keeping check on those other things but any other thing to me I think sometimes it is all about also maturity, would you talk about maturity whose maturity, your maturity or your partner's maturity or your best friend's I am just talking about the whole issue about now friendship at the end of the day how I am looking at you going to meet your friend maybe this is your classmate or something to me I am looking at it more as how mature are we to even understand our friendship because mostly in friendship there are stages that just emerge there is this first stage of us maybe your beauty always scares me in the first place, I feel like but now we are we passed over that and now we are friends I am comfortable even have some guys you do business with them you call that as a girlfriend do you work with them you are comfortable with that you have lanes and they are very very much clear your lanes are drawn well let me my producer Timo Amaron bring up that comment that you have seen there alright this is Ibrahim Kaimba so he is a buyer but he is a friend we always fall in love with our friends that is interesting we always fall in love with our friends this is a comment I want to give you you always fall in love with your friend you are on a sleepover and is there possibility that the more you hang around each other you fall for each other that is how most people start relationships the more you spend time together the more you get to know this person the more you share about you share so many things you know so that is why you were saying there are limits if we are friends we shouldn't do so many things there are things we will do as friends there are things I will do maybe with my partner these are things that now we need to find out you are falling for your best friend but you are dating there is a problem with your relationship let's take a short break we will be back in a bit after this break we shall a new twist we shall add more we shall sample a few of your comments after this break keep texting keep tweeting this is Power Talk well thank you very much for keeping it Y254 you are just in time for the next and final part of this conversation today this is Power Talk we are having a conversation about best friends opposite sex relationships do they last do they have limits what are they do's what are they don't we are sampling a few of your comments on Facebook and remember you also say that if at all you have any thing that you have to say about this you can send us a one minute clip of yourself record yourself just take a selfie say something one minute we shall sample them up as we continue with this conversation now let me head over to Facebook and the sample what some of you are saying this is Power Talk if you are just joining us you are just in time for this conversation remember it's all about best friends are you comfortable if your partner has a best friend of the opposite sex Vincent Nyangau we wish you well David in your endeavours and all your adventures may your good lord hold your hand thank you Robert Kipkirui hello hello hello hello opposite capital boys high school Nandi county where that will happen speaking out of facts with this generation too how does that happen do not try if a cousin can turn it all and the right and the right earning the title honey how about just a friend whom you just met there is something about do you have a comment on that I think maybe although if you are talking about how all guys sometime they will also call each other but is it just okay if you can do that with your cousin just a friend that's what he said which sounds weird let me twist it a bit to the pet name issue is it okay if best friends call each other pet names honey sweetie baby as long as you are not calling me as long as you are not calling your best friend the same name you are calling me which will be awkward let's say you are calling your best friend sweetheart and you are calling your girlfriend sweetheart yes but let's say if you are calling your best friend sweetheart then maybe you are calling your girlfriend or your wife babe or you have your pet names for each other that's okay they are all heavy that's just an example I am looking at it maybe before what about maybe a figgie maybe before I came to your life you used to call this guy honey just a pet name sweetheart do you still go on with that do you still continue with that kind of because to me I think it's all about what I have talked about maturity maturity we call her name that's us should these pet names have some value do you just throw them to some people it does it does but to some people who actually come up with the joke just like now the girls are saying hi honey mama isn't that the other lady that you are talking about that's cool cool moment of us come on make up if my future girlfriend of my future wife will I will ask someone call her sweetie no but but guys you are sensitive you know that guy I want to declare there are some things all right Debbie working on some about hugs I feel nowadays hand greeting is kind of antiquated we are slowly embracing other cultures so I don't think that a woman hugging a man or several men should be a character's measuring stick hugging several men should be okay but again these best friends you can't trust them if they have to if they have to keep them they should open up and let you meet them and you can figure out what kind of friendship it is Kiki yes they can but kona kale khajoto kona kale khajoto even in the biblical stories Adam needed a friend and Eve was brought kisi anasama it is possible so long as you set your boundaries and respect is involved gates past faith Prince Becky Bailey anasama yes they can be friends musil musal nasura anasama that's my all-time mentor Mr. Aliwa all day from Qatar oh you know him he's in Qatar now we also have your thoughts on this remember we asked our viewers to send their thoughts and regards to this particular conversation here is what some of them had to say opposite sex friendship that's what they said you know kona maj kona kimi we get like yeah they're not limits we are kakungu kona limits kakungu kona ptik most of these ladies want to get jealous this is my female friend those female friends me and Mr. Nawa like kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona kakungu kona This lady is gonna get jealous, but this is my female friend. Now those female friends here, who come here and say, Hey, I'm with Mr. Nawa Kwanifraishi. Hi guys, my name is Milka and my take on the opposite sex friendship. So, like, a lot of people have like boy best friends, girl best friends. And I don't see any problem with that. Like, we're all human, we all need friends. It doesn't really need to have like a gender or like, he, she, you know. Like, as long as they understand that you're supposed to be friends, then they shouldn't be a problem with that. Like, make them understand that I don't want like any other relationship, other than friendship. Hi, my name is Faith. First of all, it all depends on how long you've known your friend or how long your relationship has taken. Two, always be straight to your question. Make sure you don't give the other person time to read your mind or to read your entire face or your facial expression. Three, always make sure not every time you have physical attach or don't go to an extent that you'll have emotional affairs or start going to an extent where you'll go flattering with a friend. Thank you. All right. So those are some of your comments. You cannot sample them all up as you continue because of the interest of time. So, let me give you time to react to what people have said on Facebook and on the videos. I deep agree. Especially, of course, one point, a Christian. A Christian, there is purity that must be always preserved. We don't live, we have to live together. The two genders at the end of the day. And to me also, I think this show, apart from everything, it should also be a learning point for the younger stars who are coming out. People should be learning from this conversation. I should be very careful at the end of the day. How are you starting? Of course, we've had issues and talks about all this. So you should really know what you're getting into at the end of the day, from the offset at the end of the day. Who is this person? What are the levels? What are the red flags? What is the first thing I'm going to say? I don't know what text. Sometimes even in that text, you have to read and know. I'm going to say, Manini, how do I just reply? Where do I find myself? That's the way you talk about getting yourself in a room or something. How comfortable are you at the end of the day? What is this person thinking about me at the end of the day? So with those kind of limitations at the end of the day, you'll be able to... My parcel calls it, come a hedges. You have to put some hedges. Happen to you palusifiki, happen to you palusifiki. And you find that mostly, good friendship, sometimes they disappear. Do you have a reaction to what you said? Actually, just to add on what he said, I think there are just those boundaries and limitations on what to tell your best friend, what to do with them. For example, there are people who look at best friends, there are people who you can confide in. Let's say you have a problem with your partner, you go and confide in your best friend. So just know what to tell them, what not to tell them, and how they comfort you also as a friend you get. So you can know if this person is just a friend or if they want more. That is a fact. The opposite sex. My director is telling me that there are still more videos, people sent in a lot of videos there. Let's just sample maybe two or three, as you continue this conversation. Just two or three. Let's see if we can get out of this. I'm a journalist based in Kisi County working with a production company called Amowal Media. So my two cents on the entire topic is basically about letting the other person know about you from the very beginning. Let them know this is what you don't like. Let them know that this is my boundary. So if you're going to cross here and start conversations that are not comfortable with me, we're going to have to disband this friendship. Let them know that you're not looking for a relationship in them. You basically have a pure friendship union. You basically have a pure business union. Let them know from the very beginning that at no given point will they be your boyfriend or will they be your girlfriend. So I think it's very much possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without the whole thing, the whole sex being involved. I think it's all about just letting them know from the very beginning that this is what I prefer or what I like. Thank you. Always consider this before sharing something, consigning your dream to the opposite sex. First, ask yourself, is this person willing to partner with me in bringing my dreams to fruition? Like, secondly, this person will help you in nurturing your dream, in making you grow in your dream. Then secondly, is this person willing to pray with me about these dreams? And thirdly, is this person willing to hold me accountable for the vision that God has placed in my heart? Like, if the answer to the questions are unknown or even unclear, then perhaps I don't need to share these details of my heart with them just yet. I'm not saying we shouldn't have friendships with the opposite sex or share about our lives in these friendships. Emotional intimacy in friendship isn't strong. It's just so critical in folding bonds with another. What we should be designing about when and how we share intimate details about ourselves with the opposite sex. And I guess there are some rules in this opposite sex friendship. Alright, thank you so much. Those are some of your feedback. Remember to keep commenting, keep tweeting. The hashtag is FautockShow on Twitter at Ram Agucco, at Y254 channel. This is all about opposite sex friendships, relationships. Do they have limits? What are the limits? Alright, Aliwa, I want us to still touch on other issues that are unaligning also. Is it a problem when you find that your partner shares a lot with their best friend than you? By a lot you mean a lot about you too or just a lot about generally? Just a lot. It could be about you too. It could be about issues. They just share a lot more than you. I think there are things you can talk to with your friend but you can't talk to your partner. There are things you can do with your friend. There are things you can do with your partner. So it depends if they are doing almost everything including things that they should be doing with you as a partner. Almost everything they are doing with their friends. I mean you should be worried. Sometime you will feel insecure. Sometime it brings a lot of insecurity. Just knowing. I wish maybe I never knew about that. But of course in life it's normal that I might not really be sharing. Even my own mom, everything. There are these other friends that I really trust. But of course when the moment that now I know or this person knows about this, it now depends on if you really understand that concept of what I am saying, it's not necessarily the best person that this person is. Because even in a relationship when they are doing their counseling and killer kit to go into marriage, you find that the person says if anything happens, it means that there are some other things that maybe he or she might not share with you. I don't know if you guys cannot share and you share with a friend. But now that also as I am just saying, it is another level of maturity. But mostly could you agree for the person in your water not to be together again? Not about another example. If your partner shares a lot about your relationship with the best friend, if you are fighting, the best friend knows. If you are arguing, the best friend knows. The best friend knows everything from the beginning of your relationship. No, no, no. First of all, you are giving this person access to do anything they want to do in your relationship. They will know when you have problems and they will know when to come in and comfort, give a shoulder to lean on and take over. So you don't go telling them everything that is happening in your relationship. Even if they ask. You are giving them access to destroy you, to come in, take over, replace that part. So your best friend can destroy your relationship? Maybe they had interest in you and that is the perfect moment. Because you keep telling your best friend, oh my partner is doing this, oh my partner that. Now they know the kind of things you don't like, the kind of things you want. So they are going to easily get access to that position and take over. Is it a no-go zone for anyone? Don't share your relationship issues with your best friend? I think there are things you can talk to them about, but don't be too vulnerable to share everything. Even when it's like, if you can talk to your mom, if you have your mom, you can talk to your dad, you can talk to your people who may be your pastor, there are things you can talk to other people. Don't give access to your best friend, your male friend, your female friend, access to everything going on in your partner. Even this thing about you here, somebody is cheating with your friends, they always start like that. Now this person gets comfort so less in this friend. So anytime there is a problem, this is the learning moment, the learning point of the day. Let me give you another scenario. Your best friend has abilities that your partner doesn't. Maybe he has money. When you ask for your money from your partner, he doesn't have money, but your best friend has the money. The money for pedicure. Your best friend has it. You're stuck in town, your partner doesn't have a car, but your best friend has a car. This is now where you leave it all to God. This is very tricky. Your best friend was the one who was in town, then I called and dropped. Then I'm seeing purely this thing about relationship or whatever, it's all about the lanes, the maturity, I'm protecting you, you're protecting me. So some of the things I'm doing, let me just make sure they don't hurt what we are. And you can still continue with your best friend. If you take things from your best friend. I'm saying I should not, if I care about her, I should not overdo some things. Because why do you have friends? Why do you have friends? I mean, a situation like that is very tricky because maybe your friend is able to help, but your partner is not able to help you. But I think in such a situation, whatever you do, I think let your partner know. Yeah, this is what is happening. I mean this situation. First of all, I think the first person you should reach out to first is your partner. And then if your partner is not in a position to help, you can now reach out to your friend. If they are in a position to help, let your partner know. So my friend is going to help me in this and this and that. At the same time, if your partner is not okay with it, you can find a way out. Yeah, so I feel you agree that make your partner be aware of what you're doing, your moves. And don't do things to hurt him. If he's not going to be okay with your friend coming to pick you up, maybe he'll figure out a solution. He'll tell you, let's figure out a solution, but I am not okay with your friend coming. Maybe it's at night. Maybe it's at night, you know. Maybe it's at night. He's the only person I can't figure out. Still, still, you have so many friends. You have so many friends. Your guy has so many female friends. Your guy, your lady has so many male friends. Is it okay? Now for an artist, now that's the problem now. Is it okay? It's not okay. You cannot have so many female friends. I have so many, because of my work. Maybe if it's a work, how long? How long? Maybe it's at night. You cannot have so many female friends. But earlier, earlier on, earlier on. Like so many. They are as long as they are best friends. So many best friends. I'm saying this, if you're an artist, it's almost like a figure. If you're an artist, you get acquaintances, people you're working with, colleagues. You don't get so many friends. You have many friends. Are you okay if your partner has so many male friends? As an artist now, defining the killer key to it, I don't have a problem. Is there anything now? There's no problem. Let me tell you. You can have a phone. I have a phone book. It's around 6000 guys. Because of my work, 6000 guys. I know all of them. If you go to my Facebook, I know almost everybody there. They are friends and they are people you share. Who are close to you. When you want to be with me tomorrow. Okay, I'll find out. But I know how to deal with them. I know how to deal with them. They are just my friends. Let me give you another scenario. What do you do in the scenario where you are just not comfortable with your partner's best friends? Okay, I found you guys, your friends before I came in the picture. But hey, I am not comfortable with this friendship that you guys have. What do you do in the scenario? It depends with what are you not comfortable with. Let's say maybe you've seen them being touchy. You just say that you are not comfortable with many friends. They are meanies. Like that one. So it depends with like what are you not comfortable with. Maybe I've seen you guys. Maybe the way you talk to each other. Maybe the way you are looking at each other. It depends with what I am not comfortable with. If maybe I can see there is some affection between the two of you. So it's either I talk to you since you are my partner. If you are not going to set boundaries with your friend. I am not saying you should stop being friends because I don't know. But if you are not going to set boundaries with your friend then just tell your friend you know my girlfriend is not ok with this and this and that. If you are not going to set boundaries I think. Is it ok to cut off friendships for the sake of your spouse? To me I know one thing. Come and store your gate into that box. That box of marriage or something. Sacrifices have to be made. There is no storing even. When you are president there is some place you can just go. You have to have bodyguards. There is a place in between. Now she has said she is not comfortable. And of course like women. They are not comfortable. But they understand there is a story. She might be overdone. But I think all of us need just to be careful. This is the thing. How do you put the distinction between you just being too insecure. Or they are just normal. How do you draw the line as a partner. That my spouse is going to have a relationship and there is nothing going on. Is there a way you can feel I am just being too insecure. And if your partner accuses you of being too insecure. But the guys just feel. I don't know if it is their past that has a problem with their present. But the other guys just insecure. They are dominated. 100% it is me. Because like me if you come to my life. I think you need to learn some things. If maybe you are doing your uncle or something. Those kind of things. There is a way that you have your own grouping. Those kind of things. I cannot start cutting them. Just like that. But to me it all depends on how you guys know it. Another example. Your partner tells you that. Babe I want to introduce you to my best friend. Let's go out together. Just the three of us. Is that okay? Yeah I mean you definitely want to know the kind of person who is close to her. That is good. That's a good thing. You go out with them. I give her a chance to even learn my friend. Maybe from there she will come in the evening and tell me. Hey best take when I can guide you. After some time you will best stay. That time she learned something. When I learned something about your friend. That's actually a good thing. What if your partner demands to meet your best friend? Will you accept it? Demands. Yes I understand. This friend of yours I must see them. Let's organize 20 days to promote your sister. For a guy. You do it when you are ready. For a guy that demand might not work. But if she demands. That's where the problem is. No my demand. You are saying it is okay for the lady to demand. But the man must not demand. She is saying if the lady demands it happens. If they demand it must happen. I am telling you. But if I demand. Even when I start asking I know very well. It is a particular kind of business. Okay. Let me give another example. Chatting. Till late at night. That is your best friend yes. Is it okay to chat with your best friend till late at night? Regardless of the fact that you guys are just friends. I just say it from the beginning. From the offset. That if you are in this box. Marriage or maybe tight kind of relationship. There are things that you need just. What if you are single? I am single. If you are single and you are chatting with your best friend. Yes. Till late at night. Maybe we are chatting about my best friend. Yeah it depends what you are talking about. Is there your best friend? You will be talking about normal issues. Is there a time that you should stop chatting? I don't think there is a time. If it is your friend. If there is nothing bad you are talking about. Because let's say maybe that best friend. You are following the rules. If it is a female best friend. There will not be an issue. Because the same thing I would have been talking to. My female best friend maybe I have an issue. He is trying to comfort me. Or maybe he has an issue. I am trying to comfort him. So what if the chat gets sexual? Now that is not a friend. That is what we talked about. At the beginning we talked about limits. So I think maybe from what you just asked. The late kind of chat. Some time it might be a point of temptation. I don't know if it is. So it all depends. Who is the best friend? You are my best friend. You are my best friend. Oh my God. Time is not on our side. Let me sample a few of your comments here. Oh and Bosire on one side. Yes they can be friends. However boundaries must be kept. Like meeting alone in the dark or hidden places. Vince. You are my best friend. Lamar Elid. Tune in Niquel Lode to the point. Is that you won't be friends with opposite sex for a long time. Without going deeper. By talking about how to have sex. I know it. But you will be acting as if you are friends day time. But during night time. Let me not say what I said. But it will be different. Sherriott Rotich. The Mosketeer. Sherriott thank you so much my brother. I can't read all that you've posted. But I'll read the first paragraph. Say thank you very much Aliva. My comments are friends between men and women can work. But these relationships present challenges. And are more difficult to maintain. All right. I do my research. There are a lot of things there. Thank you very much Sherriott. One of those 1946. Let's finish this conversation. Best friends. Best friends. Wow. This is this issue. This issue. Aliva. If you are to give the viewer a final word. What would be your parting shot. As you answer that please tell us. If you had a partner. And your best friend tells you. That we are friends. We've been friends for a long time. And I don't like your partner. Would you sacrifice. That. For your best friend. Oh whoopee. You didn't bother. I don't like your partner. Give us your parting shot. Who are you to me. That's one thing. That is too much. You're just my friend kindly. This other one I chose. It's me. We chose this bad partner in your face. That is that. But to me as a parting shot. Especially. I'm talking about now. The guys were maybe getting into some of these things. We've heard of stories. And guys getting into bad. Friendship. And end up becoming some other things. You just need to be very, very careful. And always read the signals. The red flag. They say it. I keep a social distance. Arm distance. Okay. That's very, very important. There are some things. Don't encourage them. And to me the last one. From offset. Just let them know. Be straight. I'm not a carp. I sit to go. Pure. Afegi. The same question goes to you. As you give us your final comment. If my best friend is not okay with my partner. I think I'll look at both sides. Depending. With the situation. Maybe. Your best friend sometimes could be like. Your sibling. Your parent. You know. They want the best for you. And maybe they recognize something in your partner that. Is not right for you. I will look at both sides. And at some point you might find maybe your friend is right. At some point. Is not right. So I look at both sides. Yeah. Thank you so much Afegi. Okay. Thank you so much Aliwa. Thank you. Afegi Aliwa. Afegi Aliwa. Ah. Hahahaha. Ahhhh. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Aliwa. Alguko. Are you sure that you're sure that you're A Pea? You are. That you're a Pea talk. That brings us to the end of this conversation. Very good morning to you. Thank you very much for being with us. My final word. As I always end this show. I always end it with a quote. Let me quote Tony A Gaskins Jr. And he said, if you're married or in a committed relationship, you shouldn't be best friends with someone of the opposite sex. Just because you claim not to have affection for that friend, doesn't mean that friend doesn't have affections for you. Don't play with fire. May God bless you. May God bless the work of your hands. My name is Ram Maguko. This is Power Talk. I repeat, all this show will air tonight at 10 p.m. May God bless your relationship and may he be with you. Have a good day.