 We have 65 unopened mystery presents to go through today. On top of this, there are zero chill limited impacts, 94 overall limited Trent Williams and 94 overall limited Jaylen Ramsey. Now I won't lie to you, I do read comments and I saw that maybe the Christmas presents weren't good this year, but I'm gonna be the judge of that, okay? I've seen comments overreact before and I've also seen EAB unfathomably greedy before. So I guess we're gonna find out. We've got two limited presents. I don't know if you guys watched every video because I know I dropped a lot. My girlfriend, Elle, actually pulled this one, stocking up the tree. What does that mean? I guess we're gonna find out today. And I personally pulled the Wicked Lurk and because of Wheel of Mud, I think I do know what this one is, but I guess we're gonna find out. Maybe it isn't him. We'll start with our simple presents. We have seven simple red and black presents. I had no guess on this one and it's most fear. So it's probably just, oh my God, Jeremiah Bedwetter. Bro, 78? Dude, I was just about to say this is probably an 85 plus. No way these are 78 overalls. These are useless. At this point in the year, what does a 78 overall do anybody? Why would these even be in a present? It's like your parents giving you a lump of coal. Actually, unironically, okay. It's a 78 plus, but still, I mean, even that 87 Malik Hooker doesn't do you anything. Okay, I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna freak out. This is a simple present. These were dirt cheap. So should be shitty players in them. Still though, still them, this is underwhelming. Josh Dobbs. So are all these simple presents 78 pluses? That's so dog shit. I remember, no way. Okay, wait a minute. Team of the week simple present had an 84 in it. I remember about two Christmas ago, maybe last Christmas, the presents were so good. I had so many 90, 91, 92 overall players. I've already opened a lot here and I haven't seen a single thing over 87. Well, let's see what the nice presents are. These simple presents are utterly useless, like straight up 86 nickel collins. Okay, let's go with this red nice present. So this must be a most feared. It's gotta be a guaranteed elite and this isn't even a 90 either, 87 Jalen Petrie. Okay, so then the lavish, this must be a guaranteed 90 then. So it's either, I spent eight million coins buying stocking stuff for players that quick sell for 110 snowflakes to get an 87 overall Halloween car. Oh my God, EA, EA, come here, come here, EA, EA, okay? I'm gonna tell you something, EA. My favorite restaurant is Ocean 44 in Scottsdale, Arizona. Okay, the tuna is immaculate, EA, okay? And I don't just want the tuna. I want an appetizer and I want a dessert and I want a nice bottle of wine to pair with that tuna. You know why, EA? Cause I would like for you to at least why did die me before you fuck me? Are you kidding me? I can't believe this. You're telling me that these six lavishes are gonna be 87 overall players. There's no fucking way. Oh my God, that's an 87. Joe Tryon-Shoyinka, why don't you try on this dick? You fucking greedy frauds. Oh my God, I can't believe this. My second Malik Hooker, thanks EA, the first one wasn't usable. There's no way. Wait a second. Okay, so it's an 87 plus. I'm happy to have at least A90, Jamar Chase. So you're telling me that the only usable cards in this entire thing are the limiteds and these were absurdly rare. Granted, rare shit should be rare. I'm cool with that. This should be rare and this should be rare, but these should be 90s. The funny thing is 90s aren't even that good. If you go face mommy's credit card, it's gonna be all 94s. So even your 90 overall team would be at a disadvantage, but if I threw these 87 overalls out there, I would get fucking dicked on. Okay, maybe it was just the most fair present. This is a silver lavish. That's a high AKA, no fucking way. This card came out four months ago. This is like getting a hand me down for Christmas. This is like getting one pair of Nike socks for Christmas. Are you shitting me? I haven't seen, I've seen 190 overall in my 15 lavish presents so far. Was EA unaware how difficult it was to get lavish presents? Did they play the fucking game? They didn't put the snowflake shuffle in until like five days before Christmas, which means it was so difficult to get these prior to that. And once that came out, yeah, it made it easier to get, but you realize people already spent, oh, this is a coin sink. Oh, oh my God. We just got fucking bamboozled, so bad. I don't know if you guys are familiar with a coin sink, it's not that high level. A coin sink is when games will intentionally try to get coins out of the market to keep the economy stable. It's why there's a 10% auction house fee. To me, that's a reasonable coin sink. That's kind of how coin sinks should work. This is a scam coin sink. This is them enticing you to believe that there might be something good in these so you should spend your coins on it and then they just fuck you. By the way, everything I'm saying right now is directly to the EA person who watches my videos. I know you do. Number one, because you blocked me. You blocked me on Twitter. I know you watch my videos. Two, I know you watch me because you haven't given me a fucking Nick Bosa and you're doing that shit on purpose. There are three Keaton Mitchell cards. I know you're doing it on purpose. All right, and I'll be honest. If you work for EA, it probably wasn't your call. I know you didn't call the shots to make this happen, but I hope you can do something about it because when that Easter promo rolls around, if you think my dumb ass is getting scammed twice in a row, if you think I'm gonna go hunt your fraud ass fucking Easter eggs, you're out of your goddamn mind. This, okay, wait, this lavish present was 3,500 snowflakes. It's not even up. This fucking present was 3,500 snowflakes. I thought without a doubt it was a guaranteed 92. It's an 89 overall. 92's are possible. I just pulled one. 92 McAllen's. Why is it an 89 plus? This should be a guaranteed 92. I don't even know what the odds are on the 92 because I now have two 89s and one 92. Out of five of these, which would have quick sold for 17,500 snowflakes, I have one 92. I cannot believe this. That's so fucked up. It's one thing if they just dropped like a mystery promo out of the blue and we were all stupid enough to think it'd be good. This is Christmas. You're like use the good tidings of the holiday to scam us. That's fuck. Have I? Okay, so I have a, by the way, EA, if you think I'm gonna get excited for this poll, you're wrong. This is how they all should look. The fact that I finally have a redeemable poll in a lavish is insane. I just opened up 50. Martin Emerson is nasty. This is gonna be really good on the Pack-A-Place wobble. Okay, so that lavish present was actually cracked. That one was a standalone. It's a set times one, I think, which I don't know. So this one, blue and green, this is blitz. I do know that. That's a lavish present with an 88 overall in it. That is insane. I cannot believe this. It's the only good presents are the special presents. So you're telling me, EA, you're rolling out a bunch of 88 overalls and then the special presents are 94s? It's an 87. Oh, fuck yourselves. Now this is a special present, so we do get our limited animation. This one was Wicked Lurk. Wow. You know, those presents were so bad that you actually ruined my excitement for such an insanely cool card. Let me walk this back a little bit because this was the Wicked Lurk I pulled originally. We have yet to pull L's present. I didn't actually mean to pull this right now. I just hit X. I thought it was gonna take me to another one, but it took me here. 94 Rob Gronkowski is an absolutely absurd card and this is everything that the Christmas promo should be about. But you're telling me in every single present there's none of the zero chill players? Why the fuck would a Christmas present have an 87 overall Halloween player in it? Why would it have an 88 overall blitz player in it? You know that they dropped 93 Jalen Hurst, 93 TJY, 93, whatever. The Forrest Buckner, they dropped all these zero chill players and the only way to obtain any of them in the presents was to pull the limiteds, which were absurdly rare. It feels like getting scammed. You guys ever gotten scammed before, like legitimately scammed? I have a fun story about that. So I bought and sold a lot of coins in Mad Mobile when the game first came out. And this one morning I'm sitting in accounting and this glitch comes out and all these coins are flooding the market. So I said, I gotta stock up on coins right now before they cancel this glitch. So I say to this guy on Instagram, I say, here's 100 bucks. He gives me the 5 million coins. Well, an hour later, EA rolled the game back. They time travel, they can do that. So my accounts coins reflected what I had two hours previously. So those coins I bought from the guy went back to his account and I didn't have the coins except I had just PayPal'd him a hundred real life dollars. PayPal didn't roll back. He still had my $100. So I hit him up. I was like, hey, EA rolled the game back. Can you send me those coins again? And he's like, nah, fuck you. I'm just gonna scam you, basically. And I mean it when I say that was one of the worst days of high school. That feeling in your stomach when you get scammed is so hard to get over. It sucks. In the grand scheme of things, a hundred bucks really wasn't that much money. But the feeling I still remember and that is how I feel right now. These are so bad. I've never seen it this bad. This is sad. Now granted, I'm not gonna let all that take away the joy of the limited present that my girlfriend pulled. Elle pulled this stocking up the tree. I have, I still have no idea what this means. And I haven't looked up the limiteds. I did have to look up the wrong limited because he was the first to eat John Willamon. So I knew that one. But I don't know what this is. So we've got a limited stocking up the tree press right here. We're gonna find out what it is. Let's get it. Two. One. Come on Elle. Why didn't you pull for us Elle? The limited animation. It is scrambler. This is awesome. I'm not gonna lie. This I should say. 94 overall limited William Perry scrambler with gunsling. My 24 exclusive present player limited this line of quick sells for 350,000 points. So he's a scrambler. So he's not gonna get Hyrule master but he gets free gunslinger and he still has a fifth ability bucket with fast break. You know what's weirdly probably pretty good is leapfrog. Cause leapfrog prevents fumbles while hurtling. And since he's a quarterback he's prone to fumbling a lot. So I feel like if I got out of the pocket I could use leapfrog to prevent myself from fumbling in the open field. Ooh, he has his own next fact. Escape artist. It starts on for 10 pounds. Okay. So it's kind of like Johnny football. Truz it starts on for 10 pounds. Can't. Ooh. Escape artist is way better than Truz. It's way better than Truz. Truz is nice. But if I just went escape artist and then leapfrog I could just fucking hurt like an idiot straight into people. And I don't think I can find it. I've never tried this before but I guess we're gonna try it now. What's so crazy on all those 65 I literally have three upgrades for the team which is Martin Emerson, William Perry and Gronk. And two of those were the limited presents. The rest of those presents were utterly fucking useless. That's insane. Like look at how many sick cards are. There's go some might. There's all these zero chill players and in every single one of those packs is not a single relevant or useful player. I'm gonna hit generate best lineup. Okay, so the adjustments to the team. They've got Mack. Okay, Mack Hollins is an upgrade. So Mack Hollins on the squad. I do love Mack Hollins. So I got Keaton Mitchell Hatback. We got William Perry now at quarterback. I also have Herbert. So like if William Perry is too gimmicky I can just go back to Herbert. So I do like that option. O-line is still pretty dog shit. I really didn't pull anything to help here other than I guess Landon Dickerson. Defensively we get limited. Gronk to start, Justin Reed is a starter now. Martin Emerson obviously is really good. I'm gonna take a peek at Gronk. You know what's funny? If I do this on Wheel of Mud, I didn't check. Oh my God, wait a minute. I'm gonna look so stupid on Wheel of Mud. You guys probably already saw the Wheel of Mud or maybe you didn't see it. I didn't know about this. If I'm in a bad mood for the rest of the video then EA will truly have robbed me of my fun. And I'm not gonna let that happen. Let's close this video out with some awesome gameplay. I just gotta activate William Perry. I have room for hot raw master. And he gets, this is actually a really good card. This is a hilariously good card. Obviously most people won't run leap frog so you can save two AP there but I wanna try it. I honestly feel like he probably deserves his own video. He probably will get his own video. Today is just opening the presents. So we'll just get, we'll get a little taste of the fridge here and then we'll go have some fun. Hey-oh! What's he got? Hertz Josh Allen Ocarique. Okay, I have never seen that. All right, so we start this game with escape artist activate but I can still throw it. I think Tyreek might be so open. Wait a minute. Can he house it? No! As a good ball. I needed to free form that if I wanted to touch down. But let's see if he's, see if he's gonna leave that. Are you gonna leave that? He doesn't, but I did have, I did have A there. Second and 10. Damn. Pocket collapse, nobody was open. Third and 16. Yeah, Tony Gonzalez in the backfield here. This is quite the backfield we have. I'm gonna go Tony G here. Let's just make this a manageable, let's make this a manageable fourth down. Fourth and nine. Time to use escape artist. I think fourth and nine. Will I find a way out of this pocket? Oh, he's got a QB spy on me. No! I was dumb. I just really wanted to scramble. I just wanted a bad boys. I'm gonna get a little more crafty next time. And I forgot to activate Gronk's abilities. But honestly, that was great defense anyway. Wait, no. Gronk's abilities were definitely active. When I put Avalanche on him and turn it off. Fourth and six. We got an opportunity to get him back right here right now, baby. See what he's all about. He's gonna pass for sure. Let's just go Tampa two and believe. I don't believe hard enough. I clearly just don't believe hard enough. It looks like a run. I'm gonna go on a wing field to blow this up. Oh, it sure is a run. Wrong. Okay, the award for the literal worst angles I've ever seen goes to my entire defense. Nice work guys. Ooh, stretch alert bubble. I decided to learn how to use her a little too late. That's okay. Six to zero is the position I like. 69's a position I like better. Gonna start out here with read option. Let's see how this looks. Oh, he bit. Oh no, he's usuring it, but he actually manually bit. Can I stiff arm? Hey, I just got a hurdle, hurdle. I was spamming hurdle and I didn't fumble. So maybe that did work right there. Second and 10. He leaves big boy Jordan Addison who's got a stiff arm of his own. First and 10. Send Matt Collins underneath. Let's send Tony G up out of here. Ooh, Matt Collins. He is leaving that drag. Sorry. He's trying to stop him. Does he sit? Oh yeah, go for it. Shit. I try to run through him. I'll be honest. Let's just sit and talk. Dude, could you cover that drag, please? I don't want to throw it up. First and 10. He's a nickel double mug. He bites. No, when he blitzed the, how he blitzed the corner too. I think Jordan Addison on the whip is going to be a pretty diabolical route here. Oh, I have Harrow Master. What am I doing? I have Harrow fucking Master. I'm the dumbest idiot. I could be doing whip routes and corner routes and I'm just sitting here playing like this as wheel of mud. Let's play ball, baby. All right, we got a little scissor over there. I look like your sister. I love living in Jordan Addison. Got him. That's honestly the first bad throw from this William Perry. I will say, it's very hard to get out of the pocket if your opponent is actively doing something about it, but he's a great quarterback. Wasn't too bad of him this, it was good defense. Let's go second and 10 right here and let's put Tyreek on a post. I think I can just drill one. Well, somebody literally didn't block, but it's Madden 24. I'm really not shocked at this point. Let's see if I can get some blocks on that right side and maybe get big old Tony G. Good blocks. Wait a minute, Perry's out there. William Perry's out there. Fourth and four. Out playing. Fourth and four, boys. Don't keep Mitchell. Oh, he was there. I got smacked though. That was good defense. Darn it. Two turnovers for me already on fourth down both times. What do we think about this? I do need Lurk Curtis on Gronk. Gronk is not good without Lurk Curtis, so that's a bummer. But it looks like this is bottled up. Third and seven. I'm blitzing Gronk for this play action. Get home. So close. All right, let's guess pass and let's play ball. I can get to this. I gotta be able to, right? Let's go. Hell of a play, Antoine Winfield. Way to catch up to that. That was scary. Bold move cotton to go for that. Works out in my favor. Keaton Mitchell get dragged down. I don't actually care about that so much because I wanted to clock it because he's still got three time outs. We can bring this quite far now. There should be a nice little drag combo here. Third and goal and he's gonna let me milk the clock so it's just whether or not I can get in the end zone. Let's go something different. Finally, he's in. I'm gonna run this ball in. Two point conversion. Going right down the middle. Right down fucking Main Street. Ooh, great block. Tony G. Fulvac bounced his user out the club. Eight to six. Got the lead seven seconds left. He does start with the ball at half here though so we gotta hold it. He is in a triple option backfield. This is a pass. Oh, nice play. Huge hit from Gronk. I think this is a run. Let's go on Winfield. Gosh, I'm good at predicting that and I'm good at whiffing too. Gosh, nice hit though. Martin Emerson. That's why I like six, two corners because they'll play ball. You will not see prime time making it like that. This is a pass. He passed last time. One, we're in a stopable scenario here. This is the bull house. I'm scared of this being a run. Let's go Winfield. Hits the middle again. First and 10. Okay, so you can take the lead with a field goal. There's the handoff. We are in that backfield. Nice work. Missed with Gronk. Got him anyway. Second and nine. Don't do something stupid. Hurts. Shut up. What do we think this is? A stretch run for the two point? I picked him off here last time. Do I do the same thing? You're so full of shit. That's 94 limited Gronk standing on top of him and he just catches it, okay. He refuses to cover this drag. Let's see if that continues to be the case. It continues to be the case, but Tyreek saved me. Thank you, sir. I just wanna scram. All this nonsense. I don't care about any of it. Tyreek. He's able to come down with it and make a move. I'm not really a post route guy. I like this post route. Oh, I should have cornered it. Whatever. It's getting Tyreek underneath. Let's get Addison on the corner. That's a lethal combo. We'll go underneath then. You wanna play deep? I'm not afraid to check down. I'm not the bigger man here. I'll check down. You sort of robbed me of the William Perry game that I wanted. I think I just need a different formation. I need like, I need like Ravens play. It's just because this game doesn't let you step up in the, like, doesn't let you scramble the bar. I have to walk up in the pocket. That's what I have to do. Free form dot. Holy shit. Ooh, with the free form too. Look at that wheel route. He got caught behind me. Free form to the outside so you can rack it up there. Ooh. That was an accidental pick play. I'm going for two because fuck them. Like straight up. That's the exact reason I'm going for two. Statistically, statistically suck me. He did that same thing to me. He did that hitch, the covered hitch. I'm an onside kick. You're not gonna milk the clock and kick a field goal. I'm him. I'm not gonna get the onside kick but that's not what this is about. Loki though with that hit stick right there. You could get a few of those just off the hit stick. This is a run. Just a read. We're down in there. Bijan may have the touchdown but his average is not good. What's he getting? Four yard scares actually. We're just in there. That's what I'm saying. We're playing ball. You do another one? Count your days, buddy. Count your days in a sticks. So I'm picking that shit next time. I thought he was gonna throw that. Fourth and one. Nice work by Jalen Hurts to get something out of that. Does he take the lead here? Is he going for the win? This is exactly why I couldn't kick off to him. Exactly why I couldn't kick off to him. Because if I kick off, I think he's gonna go to 40. Damn it. He's hit me with that so many times. I should have. That's okay. He can't shoot the clock and end it. I gotta hold him a field goal though. See, you're not gonna snap this, are you? That would be really poor clock management if you snapped this before a two minute one. Oh my God. That was not the play. But what the fuck is up with the angles? Why does that keep happening? Dude, there must have been a patch. There had to have been a patch. I'd noticed the same thing in Wheel of Mud. These angles are all wonky. I like this pistol full house offense. I respect it. All right, second and goal from the nine. He'll try and milk clock. That's fine. I can hang on to my timeouts here right now. I didn't even go for the two clock strat. He's just chilling. This stretch to the right side. Come on, Winfield. If it is, we gotta blow it up. That's what we do on. That's what we do, Antoine. He's gonna bring the clock all the way down. He's gonna pass. He's got absolutely nothing. Jalen's gonna probably scramble here. Get there. Fubble's nice, but out of bounds is nicer. I don't got a bird of time out. Let's go. Does he go with the stretch now? I'm staying at Winfield. I've made all my big plays today off of Antoine Winfield. Play action. I see it. Oh my God, that was big. That was coming right at Winfield. Fourth and goal from the eight. He's gotta kick, yeah, he's gotta kick this. Oh, that's ball game now. If I don't win this, I'm a fraud because he's gonna have a one point lead. I've got a minute. I have to win this game. Absolute must win. Oh, who's my kicker? Who is my pack and play squad kicker? All right, we are gonna slowly but surely and intelligently move this ball down the field. We're gonna make smart throws. That's a hell of a ball. Holy shit, this William Perry's a dog. That's a hell of a ball. Rolling out to Coach Juan's gun arches. I've never seen this play. I'm gonna auto a lot of it to something that I know for verticals. Honestly, I can send one at Josh Allen and then, ooh, that's ball game. Well, it's not quite ball game, but it's pretty much ball game. 33 seconds. We can call it time out here to regroup. I'm in range. This is a 57 yard field goal. It's not my absolute favorite. He's got, what does he have in the interior there? Does he have any interior abilities? He has none. Just don't lose yards. Who's my kicker? Play type, special. It's Harrison Buck or he can hit that. He's gonna call it time out. Thank you, sir. Honestly, I was debating calling it time out there. So I'm glad he did it for me. Um, I kind of do gotta pass though. I can't get the ball moving on the ground. I wonder if I can hit a Jordan Addison. That was such a bad ball that it was almost intercepted. Silver shoot and pinch. Very enraged option right now. This has potential. Fourth and seven. He calls the time out. It's field goal time. I don't know why coach is not saying field goal. This is an obvious field goal. It's a 54 yarder. Harrison Bucker can hit this and hit much deeper. And I don't know what, coach. Ooh, that's not good power. No way. Hold on, let me lose like that. Yeah. Why is coach wants four hurts right there? Hello, coach. Are you taking? Okay. So he has zero time outs. He has 10 seconds. He needs to get in field goal range and he is in an onsite return. Which means if I put this short enough, he's fucked. Oh, this is so good. This just can't bounce through the end zone. I just think this is sick. Oh, it's fine. He can't move out of the way that he has to return. That's so good. He's still in pistol full house. We go cover for drop. And yeah, I don't really know what he could do here. Parry is one and oh, is there a quarterback? Scary game, dude. That's really what did it for us. Down in the red zone. Not letting him get a touchdown. I kept this game alive. Great game for William Perry. 15 for 20 and a touchdown. Rushing Bijon was really good. Parry was six for 24. It was hard to get him playing. But he did have a touchdown. And it broke the tackle. He did not fumble. Keaton Mitchell couldn't do it. And that was a struggle. Tony G was just stunned. Out of the backfield free form. Thank you. Jordan Addison had a great game. Tyreek had a great game. Mack Hollins was all right. He had a catch. There were no turnovers, no interceptions. Just turnovers on fourth down. Great game. It was a great game. All right, boys. Hey, I love you guys. Thank you so much for watching. As always, what a bummer on these presents. But we move. I'm gonna continue to make the best videos I can in spite of Ian. Pack and play squad moves to three and one. We're gonna rework all of our abilities next episode. All right, y'all. I hope you guys enjoyed. Hope you had an amazing Christmas. And if you're seeing this in the new year, happy new year. If you're not, then fuck you, I guess. Happy 2023, bud. Love you guys. Cockballs, wieners, shaft. Peace.