 Crime and Peter Chambers, created by Henry Cain transcribed and starring Dane Clark. Private investigator, duly licensed and duly sworn, Peter Chambers. You're a private eye. That's your business. Anything else? That's for laughs. It's 5.30 in the afternoon and you're at a cocktail party on Park Avenue. Right up to now you've been bored. But that was right up to now. Before you saw her. Now you've seen her. And she's about as beautiful as anything you've ever seen in your life. She seated at a piano, idly doing improvisation. Uh, may I, uh... Oh, is it all right? May I sit here beside you? Why, yes, certainly. I'd been hoping you would. Well, no. You're Peter Chambers, aren't you, honey? The detective type, fellow? Oh, I love that how many grits accent. My name's Lenard. And I love that name. Mr. Peter Chambers. I just couldn't perk up enough nerve to approach you, but I did so want to talk with you. Mr. Peter Chambers. Oh, that's for you, isn't it? And look when. Uh, here, I'm Peter Chambers. Uh, telephone call for you, sir. Where? Just follow me, sir. All right, I'll be back, Lenard. Don't go away. I'll be waiting. You're right this way, sir. Thank you. There you are. Thank you. Hello? Pete? Hello, Pete? Oh, no. It's Louis Parker, Detective Lieutenant Parker. Oh, can I lose you anywhere? Here I am at a park in your shindig, Louis. It's a good thing I... Well, what else when Parker of homicide is involved? Look, one of my suspects is a... Jack March. I know that boy. Yeah. Game is only. Well, if that's the way it is, Louis. When do you need me? Right away. High view apartments on Sutton Place, apartment 16A. Hey, very fancy. And who lives there? The Contessa Lafresso. Oh, that's real fancy, too. Is she there? She's here. All right, I'll be there. Good boy. Bye now. Detective Lieutenant Louis Parker. When he asks a favor, you jump. Because with you, as with everyone else, Louis Parker rates. Only with you, he rates special, because you don't only respect him as a cop, you respect him as a friend. So you get to Sutton Place, the apartment of the Contessa Lafresso. Parker's there. A lovely red-headed maid is there. Jack March is there, and one other guy. A tough baby by the name of Stony Cotter. You know everybody here, Pete? Hi, Mr. Chambers. How are you, Jack? I'm lousy. I think I'm in the middle of a quick frame. I just told it, young fella. Pete, uh, you know Stony Cotter? Being a shamus, we have met now and then. I've always preferred the then to the now. And with the play on words. Stony Cotter. A hoodlum from way back. An easy money guy that's always stayed inside a law. Not so young Jack March. A good kid turned wrong and then turned right again. He's done his stretch and he's been paroled and you're one of those who made character for him. He's riving a cab last year, heard. But they're redheads, more attractive than both of them put together. And you're beginning to debate between the redhead and Lenore, but, uh, you stay faithful to Lenore. Pete. Yeah? Notice all I've got is three uniform cops here. My staff is on the way. We haven't really got started yet. And already you've gone at two suspects. Come in here, the bedroom. In the bedroom, Parker pulls down a sheet and shows you the Contesta La Presseau. Dead, knife to death. He points out a switch knife, lying on the dresser. The dresser's also got two vases on it. One with Godinias and one with orchids. The flowers wilted and tired. The redheaded maid came back and found her like that. Came back from where? Let me get the sheet back over the Contessa. Yeah, she doesn't look very pretty now. Denise, will you come in here, please? Denise Monet, Peter Chambers. How do you do? How do? Denise, would you tell Mr. Chambers just what happened? Well, it was about ten minutes to five. Madame was in bed napping. I knew she had an appointment at five, so I woke her. An appointment with whom? With Monsieur Stoney Carter for five o'clock. The other one was for five-thirty. What other one? The other appointment. What other appointment? The one with Monsieur Jacques Marche. Okay, Miss Denise, so you woke her up. Oh, she was very tired. We only came home today from a week in the country. There was shopping to do, and she told me to go and do it. The shopping. But I say, Madame, you will have a guest shortly. And what did she say? She yelled and said, so he will wake me up, leave the door unlocked. Which is just what she does. She leaves the door unlocked and blows. She comes back at twenty-half to five. She finds your friend Jacques Marche standing in here. Knife is in his hand, and the contestant, she's dead. So quickly I call the police, and quickly the police come. And what is Jacques Marche doing in the meantime? He stands like, oh, how you say it, a petrified. Petrified is pretty good. And we find him like that, knife in his hand. And of course he clams the poor kid. He don't trust cops. He starts whaling for Peter Chambers. He don't trust law, but he trusts Peter Chambers. Look, he's a good kid, Louis. Good kid, schmood kid. He's got a knife in his hand. He's here on the scene. What does he get for that? The purple heart? And that bum out there, the first appointment, the five o'clock guy, Stony Carter. What about him? Well, a minute, Denise gives us the story. One of my boys picks him up at his place. Where's his place? Hotel Belton. He'd hardly got there. Still had his hat on. Okay. So I suppose you want me to talk to the kid? Yeah, I wish you would, for his sake. All right. But let's sort of do it in a hurry. I've got to get back to a party. Oh, business deal, Lampy. Well, not exactly business. Well, yeah, if you want to put it that way. Now look, Miss Denise. Oui, Monsieur Chambers. Aren't you the cute one? Oui, Monsieur Chambers. Oh, you're the niece, you. You know, if there wasn't a Lenore. Oh, the Norse, there is perhaps, but Lenore's a poof, there are many. There is but one, Denise. You know, I got a small hunch, you're right, honey. Well, look, lover boy, break it up, huh? What did you want to ask? Sorry, Louis, lost my head. Now these flowers here, Denise, what are they? Orquits and gardenias. A bow of the contest that he gives them last week. They're all wilted. Of course, it was last week. And we have been away all this week. Look, Pete, you want to talk to the kid now? I'll talk to both of them. Stoney caught up first if it's all right with you, Louis. Yeah, sure, in here, right there. Out there. Crazy French man. Stoney. At your service, Lampy. Tell Mr. Chambers your tale of woe, huh? Tale of woe. Hey, simple. OK, let's hear it. I got a date with the contestor for five bells. I come, I knock, no answer. I try to door, it's open. I go in, finds her asleep. I wake her, we chop chop, but she ain't in the mood for no company. She's sleepy, so I blow the joint. How long did you stay? Oh, maybe 10, 15 minutes. And then? I get back to my hotel, and ain't there maybe a minute when wham, banging out of door, cops. They lug me back here? That's it. OK, now you, Jack March, your personal private eye is here. You want to unclam now? Or you want a personal private trip downtown? Easy, Louis, easy, will you? Jack. Yeah. You trust me, don't you, kid? Yes, sir. Mr. Chambers. All right, tell me what happened. Look, they railroad me. I've been in the can once, I don't want it. I don't want it no more. Look, Mr. Chambers, I'm driving a hack, special OK from the hack bureau. I'm doing it all right. Now I gotta get caught up in this. What happened, kid? Well, I had a date with her for 5.30. Yeah? I come early. Like Stoney says, the door was open. Only I don't find her asleep, I find her dead. And there's a knife on the floor. I like a dope, I pick it up and then the maid budges in. What am I going to do? Me with a ship in my hand? Stab her and make a run for it? So I just stand there like the big dope I am and that's it. A dead dame, a knife, and me in the middle. You didn't kill her, did you, kid? You think he'd tell you if he did? Yes, Louis, I think he would. I didn't, I didn't kill her. Why should I kill her? Pete, come over here a minute. Parker takes you aside and thanks you. The staff will be here soon and they'll take over on the scientific aspects. So, since there's nothing left for you to do, you tell Parker to keep you posted and that you're going back to that Park Avenue Shindig and back there you go. Hi, Mr. Chamberlain. It's so good to see you again. I told you I'd be back, Lenore. Lenore, uh... Stanhope. Oh, beautiful girl, beautiful name. Another beautiful name happened to me just a short while ago. Denise. Oh, honey, there are so many Denise's. But there's only one little old Lenore. You know, you too must have studied in the same book. But, Lenore, my love, I am faithful unto you. Let us go gather cocktails. You're just a man for criminologists to meet. Who needs criminologists? I've got you. Mr. Chamberlain. Uh-oh, here's that man again. All right, here, here I am. A phone call, Mr. Chamberlain. Thank you. Uh, what's your name? Livingston, sir. Lead me to it, Mr. Livingston. And Lenore, once more, my apologies. This way, Mr. Chamberlain. You go to the phone and guess who? We've got developments, Pete. Look, I'm working on a few developments myself, Louis. We're booking your developments. Oh, like what? Well, that's not for phone talk. I'll wait for you if you promise to come over to the apartment, in front of... All right, I'll be there as fast as I can. Don't go away. I'll be here, but don't... So, once more, you do the apology bit for Lenore Stanhope. You tell her you'll be back, that you'll call her even before you come back. And then you tear yourself away. And you're on your shuttle again. You're back at Sutton Place in the Contest's apartment. And there's nobody there, not even the body. There's only Parker or a couple of cops in Stony Carter. Where's everybody? Well, your boys downtown being booked. The body's been picked up by the basket boys, and my staff has departed. Well, there was one little bright light down here who was conspicuous by her absence, that Denise. What happened to her? You turned on her like a refrigerator, so she kinda shined up to one of my young cops who went downtown with him. Mm-hmm. You gonna brush her up on criminology? May have, my lad, may have. Well, there's always Lenore. Lenore? Who that? Private, Lieutenant. Private for the private eye. Now, what's with the developments? Well, first we've got a little motive, finally. Like what? Robbery. There's a brooch missing from a drawer of that dresser in the bedroom. The one with the flowers on it, the wilted orchids and gardenia? Yep. Top drawer. Kept a jewelry there. Insured, but the brooch is gone, and it's worth 100,000 bananas. You mean the day he woke up while one of our two suspects was kinda helping himself to this, uh... Diamond brooch. Uh-huh. Figure she woke, squawked, got stuck. So? Who stuck her? We say your boy, Jack March. Fingerprints on knife, only one set. His. What about fingerprints on the dresser drawer? Got a smudge, which could have been a fingerprint. And then we got a fingerprint, which turns out to be stony codders. Now, why are you holding my boy? Because, one, your boy was caught red-handed with the knife. Two, only his prints are on the knife. And, three, the smudge could have been his print, only it got smudged, and that happens often enough. Now, how does dear old Stony explain his print? Let him talk for himself, huh? Sure, Lieutenant. I am happy to oblige. Oh, I love these oily, obligeing guys. Okay, big shot. Oblige. It's like this. I get here. She's sleeping. She wakes up. We chat. These flowers are all wilted. The petals are all over the dresser, dropping these here flowers, you see? I'm a neat guy. Always been a neat guy. So, while we're chatting, I'm kinda cleaning up these petals with felt, you see? I'm shoving them into the palm of my hand. You see, I'm gonna dump them down to the incinerator. All right, do it a little faster, Stony, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Want the top drawers a little open? Some of them petals I'm cleaning up, brushing them together like some of them fall in there. So, I pull a drawer open, take out the ones that fall in, dump the heap into the incinerator. Like that, my print maybe gets on a knob at that drawer. Well, simple enough to be perfectly logical. Time. Time to go into a huddle again, Lieutenant. You and me alone. Yeah, sure, Pete. Come in the bedroom. It's empty now. Who holding that bird out there? They haven't got on what to hold him. And he's wise enough to know it. He's beefing for his lawyer already. But you're holding the kid, aren't you? A kid who's trying to straighten himself out, driving a cab? Oh, look, be sensible. We got him with the goods. Fingerprints, witness, the works. But what about the brooch? Well, our fast figure is he got rid of it somewhere first, and then back here, he's about to clean up on the knifing deal when the maid shows. Now, wait a minute. So, he plays it dumb, you see? He stands here. He doesn't make a run for it. He says he picks the knifeport. But it could be true, can it? Only his prints are on it, Pete. What is possible that the knifeport's wiped, and then he picked it up? Sure, everything's possible. But we got a case against him. Against the stony, we haven't got a thing. You're going to look over his place at the building? Well, we haven't got a right. You need a search warrant for that. We haven't got a thing to base a warrant on. Yeah, but I don't need a warrant. What does that mean? The thing blew wide open fast, and you picked up stony at the building. He'd hardly gotten into his place yet. You said yourself he had his hat still on his head. So? So? If maybe Dick copped that brooch, it'd still be there. He just didn't have a chance to move it. But I can't get a warrant. I got no grounds for it. Good enough. So that's where a little boy private eye fits in. Where? Listen, Louis, hold him here for half an hour, and then let him go. Give him a five-minute head start, and then you call on him at the building. Strictly your social call. What'll you be working on in the meantime? Me? Me working on trying to get young Jack March out of the can. If I'm wrong, I apologize. If I'm right, a good kid gets spared a lot of grief. Bye now, Louis. So off you go on your scooter. First stop is an old friend, an elderly Greek gentleman who owns a flower shop. You have a bit of discourse on the subject of flowers, including orchids and gardenias. And you come away with some edifying results. Then at the building you learn that Stoney's place is 426. So you paste the fourth floor card awaiting form. There's a phone booth and you use it. Uh, Mr. Livingston, I presume? This is Livingston, sir. This chamber's Livingston? Very funny. Would you page Lenore Stano, please? Oh, you're killing me. Put her on, will you? This is Pete. Peter Chambers. Oh, sir. Oh, swell chance. It's just that I've been torn between what I want to do and, uh, uh, what I want to do. Uh, later I'll be coherent, honey. Special for you I'll be coherent when I get back. Soon, honey, very soon now. You'll wait, won't you? Where? Oh, come on. Now, please wait. Back, baby, in this time I'll stay. You mop your brow. And then Stoney comes tearing along like there's a tailwind behind him. He gets his key in the door. He gets in and you jump. It is you with a couple of wild ones and you let fly a few wild ones on him. But then he runs into a real beautiful bouquet of knuckles. And now Stoney is real Stoney. He's also rigid. Stretched out on the floor like a welcome mat. You close the door and you get ready for a search, but no real search is needed. You come up with that brooch faster than a racehorse breaking from the barrier. You just pick it up out of a desk drawer you dropped it when Parkus cops had come to pick him up. Then there's a wrapping on the door. Detective Lieutenant. Aye. Just dropping in for a social goal. Here's your brooch, Louie. Uh-huh. Well, maybe it'll clear your kid. But without a search warrant, this bum will accuse you of planting it here. So will his lawyer. Well, where would I have gotten from the kid? They'll say the kid slipped it to you, which they'll say is the reason the kid wanted you in the first place. That's right. Here, help me up. You had it right, Lieutenant. A plant. It's strictly a plant. It's not gonna work, Stoney. Well, say about that. I got lawyers. Lieutenant, that story gave you about how his print got on that dresser drawer. You got a statement on that? Oh, yeah, a sworn statement. Good, because that statement and this brooch here, together they'll sit him in the hot seat. But good. I told you about those flowers. I told you how I cleaned up the petals from those gardenias and those orchids. They was all welded. You saw them yourself. Some of the petals dropped in the drawer. I took them out. That's how the print got on there. Keep talking, Pat. You're killing me. And better, you're killing yourself. I don't get it, Pete. You just talk to any florist, Louis, and they'll tell you. Tell me what? That there's a certain special feature about orchids and gardenias. Special feature? Neither gardenias nor orchids shed their petals regardless of age. What, Pete? They wither and they'll wilt. But petals, they just don't shed. Wah! You're a lawyer! No, I'm not, Stony. Wait till I guess you're a lawyer. He'll convince you that this is one time you talked out a turn. That's nice work, Pete. And you, let's go. Downtown, for you special, I'll fix up your cell with petunias. And so, breathless but determined, you're back at the cocktail party. It's begun to thin out, but Lenora's still there. Ah, the goodness of chambers. We were beginning to lose hope. Uh, what's with the we? I thought you said we over the phone, too. What is that, an editorial we, a queenly we? No, purely a grammatical we. We? Myself and my husband. You see, my husband is an amateur criminologist, and he's somewhere about drinking, of course. And when I tell him about the prize catch I have for him. Husband? When I tell him that you're here and a man with your wealth of experience is willing to sit around with him and discuss the various... Just a minute, please. Yeah. Did you say husband? Yes, I said husband. Oh, that's what I thought you said. Oh, that Denise, oh, my income back. Honey child, my name's Lenore. Yeah, I know, Lenore. But out of swan you said Denise. I know just what I said. Well, I gotta go now. Bye. Again? And this time, honey child, I ain't a comin' back. But know how. And there you've had crime and Peter chambers. Dane Clark was starred as Peter Chambers. Crime and Peter Chambers transcribed was created and written by Henry Cain. Others in the cast were Bill Zucker, heard as Lieutenant Parker. Ralph Bell as Stony. Donald Buick as Jack. And Anita Anton as Lenore. It was directed by Fred Way. And this is Fred Collins inviting you to tune in next week, same time, same station for Dane Clark in Crime and Peter Chambers. Crime and Peter Chambers has come to you through the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.