 The Jello Program, coming to you from the Santa Ana Air Base in Santa Ana, California, presented by Jello and Jello Pudding, starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis A. Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestral is a program with I am an American. Sugar rationing friends affects all of us. It affects you, your grocer, the folks who make Jello, every one of us. And all of us are doing our best to meet the situation, and we're going to make this sugar rationing plan a success. Next time you go to the store, if you find that there's not a full assortment of Jello and Jello Pudding flavors to choose from, don't blame your grocer. It may have been impossible recently for him to obtain a complete range of Jello and Jello Pudding flavors as usual. Of course, he'll continue to have a good supply of both these popular Jello desserts on his shelf. But he may not be able to offer you all the flavors all the time. So take this into consideration when you buy. If the particular flavor you want isn't available, try another. Perhaps one that you haven't tried recently. They're all swell. But buy only for your present needs. In this way, there should be enough for everybody. Let's cooperate so that everyone can enjoy these two grand desserts, Jello and Jello Pudding. Ladies and gentlemen, from the United States Army Air Base at Santa Ana, we bring you a man who drove us here in his old tin canner, Jack Benny. Thank you, thank you. Jello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Donna, I mean, Don, as long as I was nice enough to give the whole gang a lift down here in my max, well, I don't see any necessity for referring to it as a tin can. But Jack, your car isn't exactly the latest model, and besides it's so slow. What do you mean, slow? Look, it's only 50 miles from Hollywood to Santa Ana, isn't it? Yes. Well, all I say is, if we leave Saturday morning, we should get here the same day. All right, what's the big rush? We took our time and we saw a beautiful scenery. Well, I guess you're right, Jack. It wasn't such a bad trip after all. You're darned, Tutank. And incidentally, I'd like to pay my share of the gas. The gas? No. No, Don, forget it. But Jack, I wouldn't think of imposing. Now, how much was it? Well, oh, Don, let's not talk about it. No, let's not, let's not talk about it, please. But Jack, I insist. How much do I owe you? Well, that was come to about. No, no, Don. Forget it, forget it, please. Now, Jack Benny, I demand that you let me pay my share of the gas. Here's a $20 bill. Thanks. Well, Don, well, Don, it sure is great broadcasting here. Wait a minute. Don't I get any change? Change? Oh, oh, yes, pardon me. Your share of the expenses, Don, comes to $1.15, including? Including what? Insurance, you had full protection from the Randall Motor Club. I'll, uh, I'll get your change. Wait till I open my purse. Well, as I was saying, Don, it sure is great broadcasting for all these army men. Yes, Jack, I'm getting a big kick out of it. Me too. Well, look who's here, the sweetheart of the Air Force. He's sighing, that's my motto. Isn't this a fine-looking bunch of boys? You said it. If this was a cafeteria, I wouldn't know which one to pick. No. These guys like you two, Mary, you know, they don't see many girls around here. No, but they see plenty of them in Laguna Beach and Balboa. Now, wait a minute, Mary. These boys don't go to Balboa to flirt with girls. They don't, eh? No. They go there to have fun on the roller coaster, and throw baseballs and win Popeye dolls, and ride in the Tunnel of Love. With a Popeye doll, you're crazy. Well, maybe I am. Oh, Mary, wasn't that a lovely ride we had down here in Jack Maxwell? Lovely. Now, Don, if Mary doesn't want to help pay for the gas, she doesn't have to. Forget it, Mary. Forget it. No, I want to pay my share. I didn't ship in last time, and I got anonymous letters for a month. Anonymous? I wonder who could have. Oh, yes. Anyway, uh, anyway, Mary, you don't have to pay the dollar 15 for this trip. Oh, I'll pay it. Where else can I ride 24 hours so cheap? Well, we would have made it much sooner, Mary, if it hadn't been for that bridge out. And that's another thing. Why did you make us all get out of the car and look for your bridge? Because we hit a bump and away it went. That's why. Anyway, I'm not asking you for the money, so what's the big argument? Say, Mr. Benny, speaking of our trip down here. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello. That's quite a hand you got there. Yeah. Say, Mr. Benny, speaking of our trip down here. How do you feel, kid? Oh, all right. I thought I had the mumps early in the week, but it turned out to be a tennis ball. A tennis ball? It's a swell game, but I got to learn to keep my mouth shut. Yes, yes, that would help, you know. Say, Mr. Benny, speaking of our trip down here. Yeah. I'd like to pay my share of the expenses. Well, why didn't you say so? You owe me $1 even, Dennis. OK, here it is. Wait a minute, Jack. How come Dennis pays only $1 and you had Mary and me down for $1.15? There was a 15-cent reward. Dennis found my bridge. He's got very sharp eyes. But Mr. Benny, you said the reward was going to be 50 cents. No, uh, no, Dennis, 15. You see, kid, with my teeth out, it just sounded like 50. Look, I'll show you, Dennis. Look, 50, 15. You see, that's the exact amount. Oh, put your bridge back in. I was just proving something. Hiya, Jackson. Don't worry, fellas. The show will start rolling now. What a ham. I suppose the show doesn't get started till you get here, Phil. Oh, it gets started all right, but when I come on, I'm like a ray of sunshine, a breath of spring. Phil, if that spring on your breath, I've never smelled a cockroach. See, they know you. They didn't even let me finish the gag. How the hell do they know you? Where, uh, where were you, anyway, Phil? Well, I stopped in at the 302 club to say hello. To say hello? Yeah, my aunt Sophie's a bouncer in there. What? At her own, no. At the next time she slugs me, I'm going to defend myself. Well, I don't blame you. Say, Don, go ahead and ask Phil, will you? Ask him what? You know about the, uh, axwell name. Oh, oh, yes. Say, Phil, wasn't that a lovely ride we had down here in Jack's car? Yeah, it was all right. Hmm. Wonderful scenery, too. Hmm. Oh, Phil, you remember that beautiful orange grove we passed with that gas station right in the middle of it? Oh, yeah. That reminds me, Jackson, how much do I owe you? Forget it, Phil, forget it. What do I have to say? OK. Say, Mary, ain't this a wonderful layout they got here at the air base? It sure is. Colonel Robertson drove me all over energy. You know, I've always wanted to ride in one of them things. I bet it's a lot of fun. Say, $1.15 isn't going to make me or break you. Forget it, Phil, forget it. Will you? I did already. Forget it. Let's get on with the program. OK. Now, Dennis, I think it's about time for your... I can't stand a chiseler. Dennis, I think it's about time for your song to go ahead and entertain the boys. Yes, sir. I'll get a band leader next year that pays off. Believe me. I'll be there. I'll be there with me. The cares of the day fade away. If the ship we walk on a day. By Harry Glick and Jimmy Lambert, sung by Dennis Day. Very good, Dennis. Say, Mr. Benny, remember last week when I dedicated my song to the navigators and you told me what a navigator was? Yes. Well, this week I'd like to dedicate my number to the bombardier. Can you pound that into my head? Now, Dennis, I'm not going through that again. I'll tell you later. Tell them now, Jackson. I'm an eager beaver and I want to get help. Eager beaver? What's that? Well, that's what they call a cadet around here that's snappy on his toes all the time, like me. Oh. Well, Phil, you're not exactly an eager beaver. You're more the jerky turkey type. If you want to know what a bombardier is, here goes. OK. Now, pay attention, Dennis Day. Do you want to be a dope for all your life? Bombardier, fellas, sits in the glass and clothes nose of the ship. And when the navigator advises him they are nearing the target, he starts regulating his bomb site. This delicate instrument represents the optimum in mechanical precision and coordination. Oh, I get it. Good. Is it risque? No, it's not risque. Now, fellas, a bombardier is chosen for steady nerve and exceptional eyesight and is headman during the bombing operation. That is, he is in charge of the plane from the time the objective is cited until he drops his egg. Oh, for heaven's sake. Dennis, they're not really eggs, they're bombs. Bombardier has released the bombs. He relays this fact over intercommunication. And the plane proceeds to its home base. Now, are there any questions? Yeah, I wonder if it's going to be twins or triplets. Take it easy, Phil. He's expecting folks, you know? Anyway, fellas, I hope I have clearly explained the bombardier and bomb site. You certainly have, Jack. And now let me explain about Jell-O. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're in constant intercommunication with your neighborhood grocer, ask him for a package of Jell-O. You will find that it's not only economical and easy to make, but it's America's favorite Jell-O's and dessert. And I know a bomb site more about Jell-O than I do about aviation. Punching down, I wish I'd have thought of that myself. You know, that's one of the cleverest. Come in. Got a special delivery? Here you are, Mary. Got a sign for it, you know, government regular? We've been getting special delivery letters for years. I've been delivering them for years, and I've got one, though. Mary, who's that? I haven't got my hand out to see if it's going to rain anymore. The tip. Here you are. This is the cutest letter. It's on that handsome navigator I met at Mesa Field last Sunday. Oh, Hutchison, eh? Yeah, I call him Hutch. Listen to this. My dear Miss Livingston, or may I call you Doll. Gee, you went right past Popeye, didn't you? Yes, Jack. Just a mind to thank you for the big box of homemade fudge you sent me. I've often had it with nuts, but this is the only time I ever found bolts in it. Bolts in it? Well, they were really nuts, but I didn't take the shells off them. Oh. Continue. You know, I had a dream about you last night, Mary, and just as I put my arms around you, somebody shook me. This is the first time I was ever kissed by a top sergeant. Wow. Mary, that you and your father are doing your program from Santa Ana this week. Did you tell that guy I was your father? No, he classified you himself. I'm prematurely gray, and he thinks I'm your father. Well, my father's prematurely gray, and he's younger than you are. All right, all right. Younger than you are, younger than you are. Never mind, finish the letter. Anyhow, Mary, watch out for the cadets of Santa Ana. If you happen to go to Balboa with any of them, don't rise to the tunnel of love unless you take your father with you. Mary, when you're right to him, straighten that out, will you? There's no other news, so we're close as love to you from your own little hutty. Hutty's about six foot two, and he's getting kitten-ish there. Yes, if you send me another box of that fudge, I'm going to keep it till I fly over Tokyo. That'll do the trick. That guy writes a pretty good letter, but you know, Mary, I don't think you should be making fudge when everybody's trying to conserve sugar. Sugar? Oh, that's what I forgot to put in us. What a quote. Now, ladies and gentlemen, this being I am an American day, as a special attraction, we're going to offer a musical salute to, uh... Pardon me, I'll take it. Mr. Billingsley? What's the matter now? He thinks he's a bombative thing. He'll be okay on the way home. He ain't going home! Mr. Billingsley, I'll explain things to him. Weren't you? He's harmless, so don't worry. Go here to the camp and pick me up right after the broadcast. Good-bye. You couldn't fix the blowout? So how are we going to drive home? After all, he paid me $115 to come down here. And now, ladies and gentlemen, this being I am an American day, as a special attraction, we're going to offer a musical salute to a great American, George M. Cohan. The orchestra's going to play a medley of some of his most popular song hits, which are now in Jimmy Cagney's new picture, Yankee Doodle Dandy. Take it, boys. Popular numbers played by the orchestra. Hope you're listening in, George, and that you're feeling fine. Now, Don, we've only got a couple of minutes left, so should we give the folks our surprise novelty? Yes, Jack, are you all set? Wait till I put this clothespin on my nose. Wait a minute. One second. OK, Don, I guess I sound a little more like him now. Go ahead. Ladies and gentlemen, as most of you probably know, Fred Allen will be on the air in a little while, and, of late, he has been opening his show with an alleged comical analysis of the Jello program. Hey, what is this? You'll see, Dennis. You'll see. Now, this evening, folks, we would like to give you a preview of approximately what Mr. Allen will say about the program we've just concluded. Mr. Allen would probably start out something like this. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Fred Allen, that meager beaver talking. And, Jimmy, did you by any chance listen to Jack Manny's program tonight? Why, no, Fred. I didn't. Well, you didn't miss much. He's been broadcasting from the Santa Ana Air Base out in California. He's been playing quite a few airbases lately. That's because they've been giving him free oxygen for his flat lungs. How's that he do, Fred? Well, it seems that Benny drove his whole gang down from Hollywood in that old Maxwell ahead and made him each pay for the ride. That's like putting a nickel in a jukebox to hear a raspberry. Oh, Mr. Allen, Jack. Porty, you stay out of this. And, Jimmy, Mary read a letter that she got from a boyfriend at Mather Field. And this fellow sought Jack with her father. Well... Well... You can't blame the boy for thinking Jack's Benny is that old. After all, the only reason George Washington stood up on the boat when he was crossing the Delaware was because Benny made his pants too tight. And then, at the end of the program, he gave a corny imitation of me, and that's about all there was to it. A preview of what Fred Allen will say about Jack Benny. So if you still want to listen to his program, don't say we didn't give you fair warning. You said it. Play, Fred. Children, brother, they'll all love this well-new salad treat. Sea-dream salad made with delicious lime jello. And there'll be extra pleasure in it for Mother because it's so easy to make. Now, here's all you do. Just dissolve a package of lime jello in one pint of hot water. Add one tablespoon of vinegar, one half of one teaspoon of scraped onion, one half teaspoon of salt and a dash of cayenne and pour it through a sieve. Then mold and serve on crisp lettuce with mayonnaise. And there's a delightful summer salad the whole family will enjoy. A tart, catalyzing salad made with cool emerald green lime jello. Perfect for warm-weather meals. Get a package of lime jello tomorrow and serve this grand sea-dream salad real often. But remember when you buy, be sure to get genuine jello because jello's flavor is locked in extra rib. We're a little late, so thanks, Colonel Robertson and all the boys, and good night. The program is written by Bill Maro and Ed Belon and is broadcast each week by Shortwave to our armed forces throughout the world. This program has been for the entertainment of the personnel stations here and does not constitute an endorsement of our product by the War Department or its personnel.