 The jack betty program Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Of course that's it right you are in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts and lucky strike means fine tobacco It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette. And year after year, at market after market, independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently selected by that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. No doubt about it. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. At the best hand of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Man American. And with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Denny's Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, once again it's Sunday, and at such a beautiful day, the Jack and Mary are walking to the studio. Good gosh, Mary. It was a perfect day for a walk. It sure is. The sun is so warm and bright. I'm glad we're... Jack, what are you doing? I'm rubbing some suntan oil on me. Well, take off the sardines first. It smells terrible. Mary. And pull your shirt down. You look silly with a bare midriff. All right, all right. I was just trying to get a little sunshine. You know, sunshine is very... Say, look, Jack, isn't that Hedy Lamar's nurse coming this way pushing that baby carriage? Where? Oh, yes. You know, Hedy's baby must be over a year old now. Yeah, and off it cues. Yeah, here they come. Hello, you cute little thing. Gucci, Gucci, Gucci. Gucci, Gucci, Gucci. Jack, leave the nurse alone and pay attention to the baby. My glasses are so thick. Say, nurse. Nurse, this is Hedy Lamar's baby, isn't it? Oui, oui, monsieur. C'est une bébé tellement bien élevée. Je n'ai pas eu la mère de la bébé depuis des années. Comment va-t-elle? Oh, elle va très bien. Merci. Elle me parle souvent de vous. Excusez-moi. Je voudrais un poitard de pomme frite. Quoi? Mary, what did I say? You asked her for an order of french fried potatoes. Oh, I meant to say she was a ripe, a nice tomato. You're so cute. Yeah, listen to that. Does the itty-bitty baby want a great big man to play with you? Game that all babies like. Now, pay attention, baby. This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. And this little piggy had dumplings. Wait till I put my shoe on. J'ai estré que vous n'aimaient très bien pour H2P. What was that? I cancelled the french fried potatoes. There's NBC. You have to start and get a sandwich. Okay. Wait a minute, Mary. Here's the paper. I want to look up the line-ups for today's game. Now, what do you want to know? I want to find out who is going to pitch for St. Louis and whom is going to pitch for Boston. Feeling whom didn't do so good today. Let's take those two bacon stools on the end. Here, too, right here. Oh, yes. Oh, waiter. Waiter. Yeah. Are these two stools available? No. They're reserved for Caesar and Cleopatra. Drunk store with an MC. Sit down, Mary. Waiter, I'd like a chicken sandwich on white toast. Yes, ma'am. And you? No. Have you got a menu? Here. Now, let me see. Don't bend it. It's the only one we have. I'm not... And stop drooling on it. There's nothing on there that good. Any time I come in here, it's the same thing. Jack, it's your own fault. You antagonize him. I do not. You do, too. Give me a cup of coffee and some bread for these sardines. Yes, ma'am. And would you please put some lettuce on it? Yes, ma'am. One chicken sandwich with lettuce. Mary, that voice sounds familiar. Waiter, tell the chef to come out here. Yes, very well. Oh, chef, come out here. The customer wants you. The customer wants me. I know there's a meat shortage, but this is ridiculous. Aren't you the little hot dog man? Mm, pickle in the middle and the mustard on top. Just the way you like him and the roll. Yes, ma'am. Do you remember me? I bought hot dogs from you last year. Oh, sure. Sure I recognize the mustard on your lapel. Have you had that mustard on your lapel for a whole year? Well, I hated to take it off. It looks like a discharge button. Mr. Kitzel, I can't understand you working as a chef in a drug store. What happened to your hot dog stand? Oh, well, yes, and I like it. My hot dog stand is no longer under my jurisdiction. Well, how'd you lose them? What happened? Well, today I bet on Boston. Hmm. The game must be over. Well, that's a shame. Why don't you bet on St. Louis? And go against my hometown. Oh, you're from Boston? Well, where do you think I got the axion? It's nice seeing you again, Mr. Kitzel. Mutual. Hmm. Well, let's go, Mary. I want to get in a little early, because I asked Edgar Berger to meet me in the studio. I have a little business I want to talk to him about. OK. Oh, waiter, I'll take the check. Here you are. That'll be $18.65. What? One chicken sandwich can't come to $18.65. I know, but no matter what it is, I'll have to fight for it, so let's make it worthwhile. Here's 50 cents, and that's plenty. Let's go, Mary. It's the last time I ever come to this drugstore. But, Jack, if it's good enough for season for you, Patrick, certainly good enough. Mary, one MC is enough. Come on. Mustard off your lapel. Take back your samba. I, your rumba. I, your rumba. Hello, boss. Oh, hello, Rochester. What are you doing here? I gave you the day off. I know, boss, but I've got a date with my new girlfriend. Well, I thought maybe you'd let me use your car. Well, you got a new girl, huh? Well, of course, Rochester. Of course you can have my car to take her out. Gee, thanks, boss. And can I borrow that fancy gadget you use when you take your girl for a ride? Gadget? Yeah, that thing that makes you run out of gas when you reach Mulholland Drive. Oh, that thing? No, no, it isn't dependable. Twice at stop when I was driving Mary's mother to the station. Rochester. Rochester, tell me more about this new girlie, or is it? She's wonderful, boss. Just wonderful. Well, I never knew a girl could have such an effect on you. What does she look like, Rochester? You want me to describe her to you, boss? Yeah. Have you ever seen a California sunset just as Mother Nature extinguishes its last golden glow with the tranquil waters of the blue Pacific? Yes. Well, put a sweater on and you got it. So long, Rochester, have a good time, but be home by 10 o'clock. What? I said, be home by 10. You want me to describe her to you again, boss? No. Rochester, being so crazy. Jack, everybody's here now. Oh, good. Oh, Phil. Just a minute, Jackson. My boys are limber enough. Well, they don't have to do it now. Pick up those dice and listen to me. OK. Hey, fellas, put away the dice. Take the money off the base drum and give Frankie's clothes back. It's your own fault, Frankie. You shouldn't play if you can't afford to lose. Don't catch me, gambling, unless it's a sure thing. Sure thing. You wouldn't bet on Life Boy against B.O. Planty. Oh, Libby, what are you waiting for? Join the throng. Get your own joke. Well, it wasn't that funny. Now, Don. Gee, I thought it was funny. Now, Dennis, when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. Now, Don. Yes, Jack? There's something I want to talk to you about. I thought it was most amusing. Dennis, quiet. Now, Don. Yes, Jack? When you started to do your commercial. I thought it was not only humorous, but sophisticated. Dennis, I said when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. Now, Don. He's mad because I'm alluring. A man saying he's alluring. What's wrong with that, Jackson? The doctor said I was alluring to strawberries. That's a lurking. That kind of a gag I want you to do on your own show. I want to talk to you about the commercial. Oh, it's all fixed up, Jack. I've got the quartet right here. Oh, no, you don't. Now, listen, Don. I made up my mind we're not going to have commercials with that quartet anymore and that settles. But, Jack, I worked all week on it, and the one for today is sensational. You told me the same thing last week, and look what they did. L-S-L-S-M-F-T-E, lalalala. Hee-hee-hee. A fine commercial. You four guys probably thought that was good. Now, look, Don. I'm not going to keep paying $500 a week for this lousy quartet. Now, get them out of here. But, Jack, we worked so hard all week. This one is really high-class. Please listen to me. I don't want to hear it. Oh, Jack, give them another chance. I've... Oh, all right. But this is the last time. All right, boys. Get ready and give it all you got. Here we go. L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. L-S-M-F-T. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. L-S-M-F-T. O-P. Ha-ha-ha. Robert E. Lee. Robert E. Lee. Ha-ha-ha. M-N-O-P-Q. O-P. That's what I want. Believe me. M-F-T. Lalalala. Edgar Bergen will be here pretty soon, so let's get on with the rehearsal. Say, Jackson, it must have been a lot of fun working with Bergen last week, huh? It was, Phil. I really envy that guy. Well, why envy him, Jack? You're both big radio stars. You're both very popular. I know, but look at the set up Bergen has. What a cast. No agent, no contracts, no salaries. Just a paint job once a year. Kids, when he comes, I wish he'd leave us alone. I want to talk a little business with him. What's the matter, Jackson? Didn't he mail it to you? It's not that, Billy. He's a nice guy. And I think Edgar Bergen is a great comedian. I like Fred Allen better than anybody. If you could get it these days, I'd wash out your mouth with soap. I heard Fred's opening show, and he had a very clever idea. His guest stars were Lowell Thomas and H.B. Kaltenborn. I know, I know. He was also supposed to have Gabriel Heater, but thank goodness Heater had some ethics and turned him down. What do you mean ethics? Mary, how could Gabriel Heater possibly go on a program that introduces Fred Allen and start off with, ah, yes, there's good news tonight? Some good news. All I know is that I'm out. Hello, Jack. Hello, everybody. Well, Edgar, glad you dropped it. By the way, Jack, I brought Charlie along. I hope you don't mind. Of course not. I'm always glad to see the root of all evil. Let's get out of here, Bergen. The guy's corny. Look at him, kid. Isn't he cute? Yeah, look at that little dimple chin. That turned up dull. It's a little ear. Just look me over, folks. Don't finger the merchandiser. Charlie, that's no way to talk to these folks. They're very important people. What do you mean, important people? I don't even know who they are. Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. I'm sorry. This is my cash. I'll introduce you to them. Yeah, do. Please, do, do, do. Now, there's... Now, there's Don Wilson, my announcer. Where? Right over there. Loud. I'm in my harpoon. There's a wave off the starboard box. No, Charlie, now, you must show more respect. After all, Mr. Wilson is highly regarded in radio circles. Well, I'm curious, Bergen. Is that his stomach, or is he taking home the family wash? No. Hey, that was a good one. Jack, I wish you wouldn't encourage him. Oh, I'm sorry, Andrew, I'm sorry. Now, Charlie, this is my orchestra leader, Phil Harris. Not the Phil Harris. That's right, the one and only. Oh, gosh, Mr. Harris, I've always wanted to meet you. You have? Yeah. Take up by me, will ya? Not now, Phil, you'll peel the paint off his face. You know, Charlie, Mr. Harris is not only a musician, he's also a singer. Yes, I recall, yes. Ham hocks and turnip greens. You know me and New Orleans. That's what I got myself, yeah. There must make things cross the field awfully insecure. There must worry the South, too, a little, huh? Hey, look, you lay off of me, bubber. I'll rub you and Mortimer snort together and start a fire. Phil, don't be rude. And now, Charlie, I'd like you to meet someone I know you like very much, the singer of our show, Dennis Day. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, McCarthy. Are you Irish? I'm sure and that I am. It's a pleasure to meet a man in whose vein flows the water of the lake, the clarity. And I'm from the old sod, too, I'll have you know. And I still have me father, Shalely. Oh, Bergen, watch it, your Swedish accent is showing. I'm practically doing it. Now, Charlie, Charlie, I've saved this next introduction for the last. I know you're interested in the ladies, so I'd like to present Mary Livingston. Hello, Charlie. Well, well, well, well, well. Hubba, hubba, and babaloo. And the rest of you peasants can leave now. I'm about to begin Operation McCarthy. Oh, Charlie, you're the cutest thing I ever saw. Oh, Mary. Mary. What a beautiful name. Just perfect for such a beautiful girl. Oh, Charlie. You know, Mary, it isn't often one sees a girl as gorgeous as you are. Charlie. You're beautiful, soft, silky hair. You're deep brown eyes. You're kissable lips. Charlie, now, stop it. You're embarrassing Miss Livingston. Let him talk. Let him talk. Yeah, Edgar, let him talk. I'm liable to learn something. Oh, Mary. Yes, Charlie. There you come here, Mary. Let me put my arm around you. That's it. Give me your handkerchief, or my monocle's steamed up again. Here, Charlie, I'm going to give you a great big kiss. I'll be right there, baby. Charlie, now, behave yourself. Let me lose Thurgen. After all, I'm not made of wood, you know. All right, all right. Gee, I always thought that he was. Now, say, Jack, I've got to get back to my rehearsal. What was it you wanted to see me about? Well, Edgar, it's a business matter. I thought we'd talk about it in private. Now, look, all right, Jacks, and we can take a hint. Yeah, let's all go out and get a cup of coffee. Well, Jack, what is it you want to talk about now? You know, Edgar, I've always admired you. I watched your start in radio. I watched your climb and become bigger and bigger and bigger. And each year, I was happy because of your success. Careful, Thurgen. The last guy who started out like that sold you the bikini galoon. Galoon! All right, so Thurgen ain't paying attention. Now, look, Edgar, you're at the pinnacle of your career, one of the greatest stars in radio. But I have something that will make you even greater, and I'm not going to be selfish enough to keep it from you. Well, my goodness, what are you going to give me, Jack? My new quartet. A quartet, yes. And for only $1,000 a week. What? $7.50. No, Jack, it's not the price. I'm just, uh, I'm sure they're worth $1,000, but wait a minute, you're not talking about the quartet you hired for your commercial, are you? Oh, uh, you've heard them? Yeah. $300. No, Jack. Oh, I'm really not interested at all. But, Edgar, how can you pass up such an opportunity of this? Just think of it. $300 for the best quartet in Los Angeles. Thurgen wouldn't pay $300 for Los Angeles. I wouldn't sell it to him. Now, listen, Edgar, before you say no, Stephanie, you've got to hear these boys once more. I want to show you what they can do with a commercial. Hey, Don, bring your boys in here a minute. Okay, come on in, fellas. Where'd you hear this, up here? Well, what did you want, Jack? I want Edgar to hear what these boys can do with a commercial. Why, certainly, just listen to this. Take it, boys. All chasing Sanborn. Drink, drink, drink, drink. Thurgen, let's get out of here. $250. No, Jack, no. Thurgen, make me out of here. $200. No, Jack, no. I'm Thurgen, let's go. I'm sorry, Jack, I'm sorry. All right. $100. $100. And that's all. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, we're all asked to contribute to the Community Chest Campaign for 1947. All over America, local community chests are now trying to raise their largest amount of money for the health and welfare of our people. By giving generously to your local community chest, you can be sure you're supporting the friendly, neighborly service, which helps your community day after day and month after month. So please give your full support to a service that is most vital to the health and welfare of millions of Americans. Jack, we'll be back in just a minute. Before it clears, my good friend L.A. Speedway. It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette. And lucky strike means fine tobacco. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. Take a tip from the independent tobacco experts. Men like Mr. Sidney M. Cutt, independent tobacco auctioneer of Oxford, North Carolina, who has been in tobacco for 25 years. He said, season after season, year after year, I've seen the makers of lucky strike by fine tobacco. Good drive, prime leaf. Take it from me, that tobacco's really tobacco. I've smoked lucky to myself for 17 years. Year in, year out, at market after market, independent tobacco experts like Mr. Cutt can see the makers of lucky strike consistently selected by that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you. L.S.M.F.D. L.S.M.F.D. L.S.M.F.D. Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoker, fine tobacco, lucky strike. The famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's program are Mr. L.A. Speedrigs of Goldsboro, North Carolina. And Mr. F.E. Bone of Blackington, Kentucky. That's a saying and all the way to 59, American. As Will Risedale's speaking for the cigarette, that means fine tobacco. Lucky strike. You know, Mary, I'm glad we walked to the studio because this time of evening it's nice walking home. Yes. You know, Mary, radio's a funny business. Sometimes you have a good joke on the end of the show and you run shorter time so then they cut you off the air. You mean like it happened, that's on our opening show? Yeah. And now tonight when we've got all the time in the world, what do you want me to say? Well, I'll try for you. Well, I guess there's nothing to do but walk. Well, this is NBC, national broadcasting company. A.F.I. Los Angeles, Earl Z. Anthony, Incorporated.