 get this situated. Yes, sir, Rebaugh. Let's see him, my internet working. I don't know if my internet working, trying to get it stable, so y'all forgive me if I'm frozen or blacked out. Get this internet together. Yes, sir, Rebaugh. Pop on on here. Now, we probably do a little bit of Q&A and a little bit of a chat. And, but wanted to pop on on here because somebody sent me a post and spirals, if you have a question you could put it in there, put the hashtag Q in there. I'd probably be bouncing back and forth between Q&A and just kind of talking. So we'll kind of, if I see it. But as you see, it's a lot of celebrity, celebrity divorces going on. And they put some of them together even though they're not right now. And it's very interesting. And I'm gonna tell you, when it comes to relationships, now it take two to work and sometimes it take two to mess it up. But from being a man in a relationship, I'll be honest with you, every woman that I've ever met just like any other human is capable of doing shady stuff. Every human is capable of that. But one of the things, the biggest breakdowns is a lot of times a woman will have flaws and a man will have flaws. And men rarely know how to express ourselves in a way that is conducive to a relationship working out. So, and what a lot of people don't realize is every man has something in him that he has to work through and every man has something in him that is very, very strong in the sense that it could take somebody else out. And so, when I look at some of these men, see, when you're a man, you could read another man. And men know men. Any man who know anything, then they know men. If a man had ever been in the streets, if a man had ever been in a real neighborhood, he knows how to read other men. He know how to read people very quickly. And so, that's why you really don't oftentimes see men come for certain men because men could read that man and know that that man could be a look off his rocker. And so, when a man has something in him and he gets into a relationship and he's not happy with himself or with his woman, if he doesn't learn how to talk and express how he's feeling in a healthy way, that tears a relationship apart. And I've been guilty of that. And sometimes it's the woman, but most often it's the man who leads in the breakdown of the relationship because he doesn't know how to communicate. And that's why my quote says, communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. And that's honestly why you're seeing a lot of this stuff break down. It's just communication. It's a breakdown of communication. And then once that communication starts to break down, everything starts to go downhill from there. So, I see some of y'all questions coming in. Show which this thing will separate the question even on the cell phone. Put the question over on one side and the rest of the random chats on another side. You too, y'all watch this when you do the live or somebody on live have it to where it's a question and the person click questions. So they have to just type it. They could click questions. So it'd be live, like live Q and A and they could just click question. And that question go over here on one side of the screen when you're on your cell phone, like I am. And the rest of the chats, if a person didn't click question, it go on the regular chat. Now y'all bring them on in there to Palo Alto. I'll help y'all get some things in order. Why single working on self, everything try to go against me. Just the law of nature. When you going right, things start going left. So you got to embrace it, be happy about it, smile and laugh about it. How to make friends. I recently gave up smoking and getting up but sometimes seems like everyone smokes and party feeling very isolated when doing the self healing work. Well, you're gonna have to get in new places. You're gonna have to get on meetup.com and start getting into new circles, go to places where people don't smoke, go to church, get into life groups, go somewhere else because when you start going through like that, it lets you know that it's time to get around new people, new things and get out that same old circle because you can't expect to survive as a fish out of water. You got to learn how to adapt. To that new environment that you going into. Why would a man say he wants to take it slow but still have an expectation for me to be on my back? That's the opposite of slow to me. Does going slow to a man just mean no commitment? It's just him trying you to see if you gonna be boo boo the fool because countless women have been boo boo the fool. So he just trying to see if he could get away what he has got away with in the past because a lot of women will get on their back thinking that being on their back will change a man's mind from wanting to take it slow to wanting to speed it up. Just started dating a man who was financially stable and has expensive tastes. What's a reasonable birthday present to buy for him? His birthday is one month before mine. Don't spend more than you think he'll spend on you and don't spend so much that you set a precedent that you have to maintain. So what I say when you just started dating is really about the thought. It ain't about the amount. So it's about the thought. Like I went on a website and I got a gift for my wife one of her birthday gifts, it probably was $100 and it was a book of the New York times of her birthday, September 26th, 1986. And then every year after that leading up to now, leading up to 2020. And so it just was something kind of nostalgic, just something kind of cool. Like, man, on my day in this year, this is what was going on in the country. And so that thought right there, and that probably cost $100. And then it was the front page of the New York times as a puzzle on her birthday, September 26th, 1986. They had a, they take the front page and put it in the puzzle printer and turn it into a puzzle. And her and her sisters, when her grandmother passed and they were down there for preparing things for the funeral, God rest her soul, they put that puzzle together and it took them three or four hours. But by having that puzzle, it took their mind off of things. So see, sometimes when we think about gifts, you just got to think like that. And I'm gonna tell you, it's a gift that a young lady got me in high school that I remember to this day. One of the most thoughtful, meaningful gifts I ever got. And they just go to show you as a grown man being married 15 years, I still remember that gift. And so sometimes just it's the thought that count and not just going and spending a bunch of money. Well, this, somebody said, what happened to the Mars? They probably don't know about it just cause I just popped up on here randomly. And so they probably might be watching they show or doing something. And I don't do these on the same day all the time. So they really never know when it's coming. So they might be doing something and get the email in a little bit and be on here. Just started dating the man who was financially stable. Okay, that's the one I just read. Make sure you put the hashtag Q in front of your question if you knew on here. I feel really strong that God is about to send a man he has prepared for me. Is that confirmation or me tapping into my faith? That's you tapping into your faith cause you could feel strong and don't nothing happen. But it just mean you believe it. But when you believe in like that, sometimes you're attracted to you cause you in expectation. So that means your face pleasant, you're dressing right, you're looking right because you in expectation of meeting this man and that actually that expectation will prepare you. What is the reason behind a man leaving his kids to take care of another one of his kids? It's really him not having a real attachment to his kids and he just left one woman for another woman and the kids are just collateral. They collateral damage in one case and collateral assets in another case. So some men just don't connect with children because of how we're wired. It takes, it takes something different for a man to connect with a child. And so a lot of times women will ask themselves, how can a man do this? How can a man walk away? How can a man, and it's just because it's so foreign to most women, some women do it too. But it's so foreign to most women just not understanding that when a man, when a human is wired to like a warrior and like a killer, our heart is not set on love. We have to choose to love. And that's why you seen that post about the NBA player, the former NBA player who they say punched his son several times for dropping a book in the airport and just go to show you the makeup of some man. Nah, that man need to be punched several times. He need to be put under the jail for that. And he need to get it behind what every day in jail. Absolutely crazy, but that's what he is. He probably absolutely certifiable. He probably could get certified. Make sure you put the hashtag Q in front of your question so I could easily identify and if you're not putting a question in the chat, then try not to write in the chat so I could kind of see the questions a little easier. What is the reasoning, I just read that. And see how you too got, you got scrolled and I'll be reading the same question the second time where they just put them over here in a little side box for me, where I could clear it after I answer it. That'll make it a lot easier. And it's like, you'll think they'll do something like that, so let's take a little side pause and that's why I want you to be positive about your business. Here it is, YouTube, multi-billion dollar company. And they don't have the lives set up easily for Q and A. You got to go and use another system to stream on YouTube. When you would think with all the money that they're making, they will have their system set up that nobody else got to use StreamYard or use this and that and this and that. You'll think they'll have their system set up to where you don't need to do all that. So why we get down on ourselves about our business not going the way we want it to go or functioning the way we want it to function when we see multi-billion dollar corporations still gotta pay millions of dollars to staff to figure out simple things that can't be figured out. That can't be done. And they got to be polling all of us asking us what to do. And I'm like, listen, you give me the bill and they ask me nothing. I'm finna do what I wanna do and come up with. But that's just a little side lesson. Hey, Tony, can you share your perspective on why men struggle with healing and acknowledging their pain for their own growth? Really it's just societal, Jasmine. It's not really, it goes back to the home. So you have to think in what home do you see men the emotions of men cultivated or catered to? So when you think about it, men are raised, shut up, big boys don't cry. And so that's all you're seeing in adults. You're seeing men who have been raised to suck it up because big boys don't cry. So when a child cannot cry, he then learns how to shut his feelings and his emotions off. So then when he becomes an adult and it's time to be in a healthy, productive relationship he cannot do that. And that's why most marriages fail because in order to have a relationship you have to know how to relate. But in order to know how to relate you must first know thyself. But in order to know thyself you must be in tune with your emotions and your feelings. And now I will admit sometimes it is the woman because I'm actually more in tune with my emotions and express my emotions better than my wife. But my wife is the way she is because her family is from Jamaica. So when you come from more hardship you are also taught to suck it up when you got to be walking to school and when you got to live without electricity at times or have an outhouse or your mom up and leaving, move to Europe and you gotta be an adult as a child you're gonna develop a different type of strength and the way you move and if you give in to your emotions you're gonna be crying all day every day. So instead you just suck it up and you shut up and you do what you got to do. And so when a mother is like that or a father is like that their son or daughter becomes like that. And then when they grow and become an adult they struggle in a relationship with communication because of that reason. So it's just now 14, 15 years in that my wife freely communicates and she freely expresses her thoughts and feelings but it came out to me overdoing it, overdoing it, overdoing it, overdoing it for so long that she finally realized like, okay, if I only express my emotions, my feelings I ain't gonna get nothing in this relationship. I'm gonna have to express myself the way my husband expressed himself. And then what I have to learn is how to express myself better without it coming off too blunt, too raw, too real. Because, and that's with anybody and everybody I talk to not just friends and family but even people in business and in dealings. What do you think about the notion that a woman should marry a man that loves her more than she loves him? You know, a lot of times we hear these quotes and stuff like that, that it sounds cute but it's really a man loving the woman as much as the woman loves him. Because for a woman to marry a man, if she is a good woman and her head is on straight, she has feelings for him. But what makes it seem like the man loves the woman more is like what I just said, men do not often show feelings and emotions so when a man is vulnerable in that way and he shows that it makes people think that oh, the man loves the woman more. When the woman actually could love the man just as much. And also there's never a way for a woman to be able to tell if a man loves her more than she loves him. Because she doesn't really know what he's given her in that form of expression, how that equates to how she feels and it may feel stronger than what she's ever had so she just assumes that he loves her more but a man can do all that and show all that and it not be the real deal. It's a difference between the root and the fruit because sometimes the fruit could look similar but the root is totally different. Nasty movies and self stimulation are so common now. How can you make it a standard to not do it with a man while abstinently dating to marriage? Do you discuss it later in dating or in marriage? That's something that you really discussing like within the first three to six months and that will come up in free flowing conversation. Now some men know that the topics are taboo so a man may struggle with those things and never mention it. It's almost you being a human lie detector and having to ask that question and say, hey, so what do you get into? Like what are you into and how do you channel that sexual energy and what do you believe in? What don't you believe in? And when you do that, that man is going to show you that he's lying or he's gonna tell you the truth. And that's really what you got to touch on but what you have to understand as well is that you got to be able to kind of read a person and everything else that goes with them because sometimes the behind the scenes of a person can only be told by their character, their integrity is how they move in general. How to get over past choices, mistakes, keep doing what you're doing, you're in the right place and you get new knowledge, that's what helps you get over your past, learning what you did not know and then doing what you learn. If he says it's not the right time for us to get together, what does that mean when we work together six months plus he never asked me out or spent time outside of work? It means exactly what it says. It's nothing, it's nothing you have to decode there and oftentimes a man will tell you exactly what he means but a lot of times women are looking for a deeper meaning and again, you have to remember, men are not raised to communicate. So when a man says something, it's typically from A to B it's so direct that you think it means something else but he basically he's saying it's not the right time for us to be together, which means I don't want you. It means I don't want you and I don't wanna be with you, move on with your life and stop waiting on me because you're not gonna do anything but hurt yourself because if I wanted you, I'd be with you and so I want you all to remember that if you're on this call, if you are a woman and you are on this call, hear me what I'm telling you right now to every woman on this call, hear what I'm telling you if a man want you, he will not play games with you and you will know that he want you and somebody isolated that stitched me in a TikTok of me saying that and since he said I can't believe we have to hear this in 2022. That question that I just read from a grown, healthy, wise, smart woman who is in these chats just ask that question, why did a man say it's not the right time for us to be together? That's why I have to be said because every day grown women are confused about the intentions of a man and what I have to remind y'all is if you know the intentions of your dog, if you know the intentions of your dog, if you know the intentions of your goldfish, a man then taught a goldfish how to play soccer in the water with a little soccer ball in the fish tank, this man then taught goldfish how to play soccer. If you know the intention of your parakeet, your gerbil, your hamster, then you know the intentions of a man and I'm telling you, I am telling y'all, I'm telling y'all put me out of relationship business, put me out of relationship business, put me into book business, business, coaching business, purpose coaching business, put me out of relationship business by knowing that you do not have to wonder about how a man feel about you. If you have to wonder how a man feels about you, he does not feel about you. I'm gonna tell you something. My wife, she not that affectionate, so sometimes I try to withdraw affection. You thinking that's gonna make her give me affection, but that's just not how she is. A lot of times unjust, you know, if she moving and ripping and running, she just not like that. Me, I'm always like that. Every time I pass her, I grab me a hand full of booty. Every time I see her, girl them pants looking good. I say, hey, listen to me. I want you to buy, yesterday she had on some pants. This is a true story. It's me and my wife now, 15 years in America. I say baby. I love the way them pants, got that booty sitting up down. I say, listen, I want you to buy 13 more pound on pants. Six more for every day of the week. And then another seven and take it to your tailor so he could cut them in the shorts. Cause I like the way that booty sitting up. And see, I don't want to say that, but I cannot hide that because that's how I feel. When I walk past that booty, I got to grab that booty and just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. I'd be about to pull one cheek from the other cheek. Sometimes he's, ouch, pull. Hey, I had a good grab because that's how I feel. So I can't help that. But listen, I'm a, I am a quiet man. I am a introverted man. I am a stoic man. I talk like this because it's my purpose. I have to. But if you ask my sister-in-laws, I got two sister-in-laws, three technically from her step-sister from a mama marriage. If you ask my sister-in-laws, they'll tell you, I don't really know Tony. Tony don't really talk. Like, I don't talk, if you ask my mother-in-law, father-in-law, they'll tell you, I don't really know Tony. And frankly, they probably only hear the bad about me just because, you know, if my wife talking to him and complaining, and they'll see the good of how I do it, how I treat my family, how I sacrifice for my family, but don't nobody really know me. And so even me being that quiet and that introverted, I guarantee you my wife, no 100% that I'm absolutely head over heels in law for her and that I do anything for. And that's, and that's what I'm trying to tell you, that ain't just me. And here's the thing, not every man is gonna express it. Not every man gonna say it, but you're gonna feel it. You're gonna feel that. And when you feel that, then you're going to know, but y'all have got to stop wondering and waiting. And guess what? If a man cannot show you that he want you, then he don't deserve you. You wasting your time. You wasting your time. You got another device right now, take your other device and Google I don't think I got in a neck on this phone, on this watch. Take your other device and Google how many men in your country, wherever you at. So if it's that many men in your country and you know how I'm single, why are you sitting and wondering and stressing and waiting and confused about a inconsistent, non-committal grown man? If this man can't show you that he want you, show you that he want you now, listen to me. And I talked to some women and they're like, oh, well he wanna meet up every day and oh, he wanna talk every day and oh, he wanna FaceTime every day. I say, well, what you want? That right there is what you want because that's what a man gonna do when he want you. Now that don't mean he's gonna be perfect. That don't mean he ain't got no flaws. That don't mean he's gonna be a great husband. But one thing is for sure, he want you and let him want you and let him pursue you until he proves to you that he don't deserve you. But he may never do that or he may do it for a period of time and then you check him and then he get it right because he realized he got beside himself. So this is what you got to understand. I need y'all to understand this now. Joe Lin said you got a Zell. Yeah, I got a Zell now, but I can't give him a Zell out on here now because the Zell information, somebody got to give you phone number, email a lot for your Zell now. How do you feel about relationship coaches pushing clients to date online? Do you think online dating is better with the help of a coach? Yes, it's better with the help of a coach and if a coach is gonna help you through that, like help you look at these profiles, help you sort through these messages and help you call the plays, then it's much safer than just being on your own without any real knowledge of what you're doing online. And in certain circumstances, online dating is recommended. I am completely against online dating, so that's confusing to some people, but that's why I tell y'all, stop taking general messages and applying it to you if you have not gone and gotten coaching for yourself. I'm completely against online dating, but it's certain clients that I talk to and I say you need to get online. Here are the rules to getting online, but you need to go and get online because it just ain't gonna happen for you out here in that little city you in, where you at and just everything you got going on, it ain't gonna happen for you. Go and get online and just vet it. I want to help others through what I've learned from hardship, I have a number of things in mind, I keep waiting until I'm ready, but I'll never be 100 all the way, it's better to just step out, gotta step out. The video I did today ain't gonna do that video just look like doing stuff like that, but I did the video about my program for coaches and it's an annual program, like a coaches mastermind support group type thing. I have had that idea, but this morning I woke up and I felt it strong in my spirit and I went ahead and made the landing page, made the video for the landing page, made that video for YouTube, sent the email to all of the coaches that are in the coaching course, whether they did the free preview or actually took the course and I did it all in the same day. I had an idea, y'all see me wearing the shirt that say consistency? Well, I'm about to sell y'all some hoodies that say consistency. I went on Ollie Bobble, I woke up this morning, I put this hoodie on to work out, I done worked out today, I did not shower, so I was cause I'm saving my shower for the night, so I done been in this all day and I put this hoodie on to build me a little more sweat while I was working out, I had a shirt on a funder, ain't got no shirt on a funder, didn't I? And when I put that hoodie on, I say, man, it's a lot of people that wanna work up a little sweat. So I'm finna sell hoodies for work out, that already exists, but that don't mean Burger King can't sell no waffle just cause McDonald's selling a bit, Mike. So guess what, if you rock with me and you see me got a hoodie, then you gonna buy my hoodie instead of buying Nike hoodie, because you gonna say, I know this person, I support business, his business, or I support Blight business, or I support who I support and I don't like this brand Nike cause it is, or Reebok cause it is, so I'm gonna go over here. So why am I not gonna sell my hoodie because hoodies already being sold by Lula Lemon and Nike and everybody else? No, so what I did, I went to my Alibaba out and I searched custom workout hoodies, they all came up, I looked the one I ain't like, then I searched polyester hoodies, it came up, I clicked on it, the one I like, they showed a video of the material, I like it, looked like a little cheap, light material, and I wrote them and I say, hey, can I place an order for this and can you put one word across the chest? Consistency, they say, yeah. They wrote back, said, yeah, we could do it. It's gonna be $500 for a hundred of them. So I'm paying $5 a hoodie and I'm gonna sell the hoodies for $20. Plus shipping, so I'm making $15 a hoodie. So when I sell them 100, 100 times 15, I will have made 1500. If I sell a hundred a month, that's an extra $1500 a month, that's a stream of revenue, a stream of income and I had the idea today and I activated the idea today and I paid for it today and it'll be on the way within 30 days. So if you want the consistency hoodie and now I'm marketing it, so I just told you about it. So I'm gonna put it on the Shopify site. With a dot com, the site gonna be simple. I'm gonna build a site myself. I'm gonna go on Shopify.com. Now we go on to a business lesson. We will answer the relationship question. Now we're on a business lesson. See y'all listen, get your light coat that could talk to you about more than just one thing. And I'm gonna go on Shopify.com. I'm gonna sign up for that little system. I'm gonna get a little website. I'm gonna use that template. I'm gonna change my, put my stuff in there and I'm gonna go ahead and sell them shirts like that and then me and my wife and whoever else I might hire me assistant, we're gonna be packaging them and shipping them. So Lisa, if you get Kimberly hoodie, just understand, blame it on my head and not my heart. Just let me know. Hey, you're gonna send somebody else size Tony. I can afford to order another one cause I rock with you or give them a refund. Just let me know. Don't get mad with me now cause I'm be packing these and shipping it myself. And yeah, I got a brand and yeah I do business and yeah I got stuff going on but I'm finna be packing and shipping these shirts myself. You hear me? You know why? Because I'm not in a position right now. I talked to my homeboy about him running the business but he want $6 a shirt. I can't afford that right now. Bro, I can't afford that right now. Bro, I need that whole 50. I need that whole 50. Frank Lucas right now. Now when I get to where God gonna take me, okay, I'll let that six go. Okay, and just bring home that other whatever that is. Eight or nine. Bring home that other nine but right now I need the whole 15, Brian. So I got to do this myself. So listen to me. In the same day, and this is what I try to tell y'all about the difference. This is what I try to tell y'all. In the same day I had an idea for a coach's mastermind and I launched it. Two day. In the same day I had an idea for my hoodie and I launched it. Two day. So I want you to understand that when you wanna do something, you got to do it. Ain't nobody gonna push you out that into it. Ain't nobody gonna make you do it. You got to go out and do it. You got to be ready and willing to do it and you just got to pull the trigger and go. You got to pull the trigger and go. I did that last time with them shirts that was the wrong material because you wear a large. After you put that in the washer, you got just them all. Y'all got to forgive me. I got them from China and I sold them to y'all, $20, $25. The point blank period or whatever it was, I think I got 200 of them. They sold out in an hour. The shipping process was so hard, I ain't do it again. I retired. So these hoodies might retire me too but I got to try it again. It's like when you get a tattoo, after a little bit you forget how bad it hurt, you go get your nose. So I'm trying again on these hoodies and it's probably gonna retire me again because I really ain't got time for it but I got to try it. And then eventually I'm gonna find me, I go to my homeboy and do a drop shipping but I really ain't want to get to my homeboy just cause some stuff happening in business and I'd rather make a mistake than him make a mistake because the way I know how I am, I know how I could be. The Lord's still working on me. So I'd rather work with a drop shipping company that I could curse out with no curse words when they mess up versus severing a friendship. And so that's why I typically do business with business versus business with friends cause I need to be able to fire. Cause I fire quick and I don't wanna and if I fire a friend, they gonna think I done fired our friendship. So understand that. Not a point blank period. That's shirt is on Tony Gaskin store.com I think it is. Now on the cell phone, I can't even type nothing in the chat on the cell phone, I don't think. You too, y'all got to get it together. I'll tell you what. You too, y'all got to get it together. I can't even type none on y'all. So put your questions back in there. We'll shift back to relationships. Well, that business question took us on over there. Ashley, yes, 33 months in the blessed trial. God bless you ratio. Yeah, I'm gonna post more on finances sometime. I just don't know that much about finances. I'll say what I know, but I don't know that much. So I'll leave y'all to the financial people. What's your read on a 40 year old father who never married his kid's mother after being together for 20 years? Some people just don't believe in marriage. I got a lot of family members like that, that they was together, they was happy. They live together, they work together, they died together and they never got married. Some people just don't trust the government and some people just superstitious. They felt like marriage was a jinx. They felt like people who got married, everything got hard and went down the drain. Can you speak on red flags to look for or how to avoid and controlling men, unperturbed men out here hurting women in a scary heart to know if they're masculine men or the thing about it is all men are the same. All men are the same. When I say all, I don't mean every single, but I mean 90%. So what I mean by that is every man is messed up. Just like every woman is messed up. Meaning that we all humans and we all come with mess and we all come with baggage. So there really is no foolproof way to prevent something. You just address it when you see it. So if you see it, everything could be perfect, but then if you see it in month six, you address it in month six. And when you address it, it's like a fair warning. Like, hey, listen, don't talk to me like that. Hey, listen, I'm gonna listen, don't talk to me like that because this is not gonna work if you're gonna talk to me like that. They might take six months off and talk to you like that again. Hey, listen, I know it was six months ago and that was a long time ago, but I'm still feeling the same way today as I did back then. I'm telling you right now, if you ever talk to me like that again, it'll be the last time you talk to me. And that's how you got to handle it. And if they strike again, they out. Point of life here are. If they strike again, they out. And you can't do that with everything now. Something you could give that, like talking to you a certain way, you could give that. Doing certain things, you could give that. Now, if somebody go outside your head, the next time could take your life. So some things, if somebody hits you with intent to hurt you, then some things, it's only a one-time thing. And it don't matter when it happened. If it happened 15 years in, 20 years in, 25 years in, if you feel you need to lead, lead, what's your read on a man in his fifties with five kids and five baby mama says he's learned from his past? I bet he out. I would like to hope he have learned from the past. Well, he got a past. That boy got a history book. The Saurus. Oh, he didn't get five kids, five baby mama, but guess what? You know, it's men in their 20s with that. So just go to say something, but the Saurus lessons. But only time I tell, why don't men respect, slash take serious the woman that is cursing and yelling when she's upset with him versus the woman that stays calm? Because everybody knows that the loudest in the room is the weakest in the room. That when you confident, you don't have to be too loud. You ain't got to say too much when you truly confident. When you truly confident who you are and what you are, it's going to speak for itself. Just your energy, your aura, just what come out your mouth. So we really don't pay attention to the dogs that bark the most. If the dogs that don't really bark, that you really got the word by. And so I got a little more key, which is a Maltese and a Yorkie. And that thing bark like it'll rip you to shreds and it can't do nothing. And that's typically how people are. And so that's the thing. And that's how I look at these guys online when they feel in a certain way, like I just saw the other day, a man said something about this other man child. And then the man go online and say, don't be talking about my child, come deal with the daddy. And when I seen that, I said, you ain't gonna do nothing or you wanna go to prison. Because if I felt that way about this man talking about my child, he's not gonna see me coming. He's not gonna hear me coming and the internet definitely ain't gonna know about it. But I'm gonna have a whooping put on them. And they're gonna be a whooping he never forget and ain't nobody gonna know where it come from. And all they could do is speculate that it came from over here, but they can't say that cause I ain't never sent no warning shot online. You see what I'm saying? So see, sometimes that's why people don't respect all of that there. So you got to be able to really, and that's what made me respect my wife is my wife never went back and forth with me. When she needed to leave me, she left me. I saw her bike walking out the door. She never yell. She never curse. She never argue. She never went back and forth. It was, I done told you, you didn't tried me again. I'm gone. Point blank period. Advice for childless women dating single fathers. Sis, that's a book. That's a book cause you got to understand children. That's a whole book right there. So you need a coaching session for that one. Need a coaching session. I'm gonna tell you one thing though. For one, be careful of the baby mama. If she crazy, let the man go. Cause he partially the reason she crazy. Let the man go. And if he is not partially the reason she crazy, the fact that she crazy say something about him cause he slept with her. To the point that he got a pregnant and had a child with her. So that say something about him too. A man who was asleep and deal with and impregnate a crazy woman, he off too. He is off too. So pay attention to the relationship with the baby mama. The next thing I'm gonna tell you is don't expect to come before that child. Cause that child come from him. You come from another man. So don't expect that man to put you before his child. So you have to be ready for your date night to get counseled because his child need him to pick them up from school or the game or want him to take them to the game or somewhere. And now your date night and you don't put your makeup on. You don't got everything ready. Especially if it's before he can introduce you to the child. Now, if he can introduce you to the child and he like it, he'll take you on over there with the child if it's allowed by the child mother. So you got to understand when you get with somebody with children and it's go both ways. Cause it's a lot of women won't put no man before they child. It's sad when people do. And a lot of times people come to me and it's typically women. Sometimes it's men that want the person to put them before they child. And I don't ever understand that. And I love marriage and I love relationships but I don't ever understand an adult wanting another adult to put a dependent before to put the adult before the dependent. Because the child need the adult. You as an adult don't need the other adult. You could fend for yourself. You could take care of yourself. Your parents raised you but that child need that raising of that parent. And so yeah, the parents should find some balance but if that parent will drop in and everything for their child and you can't handle that that's not the person for you. Because there are parents who will say, listen, I took you to the game last Friday night. You're not gonna die. This Friday night is for me. I will take you to the game next Friday night. You got another parent as your other parent as your mama or as your daddy. There are some parents who will do that. Not as parents who they care so much about not being disliked by the child because they are separated from the other parent. So the parent will bend over backwards and become a slave to their child. Thinking that if they are not a slave to their child a do-boy or a do-girl to their child that the other parent will become the favorite parent and what we don't realize about children is sometimes children could be vicious but at the same time children is also resilient. So it's a lot of people who have grown up to be fine adults and they went through abandonment by their parents. They went through abuse, they went through everything and they still became fine adults because God made children resilient. Not all cases turn out like that but a lot of them do. So what parents have to realize is that when you co-parenting you still have to find balance and you gotta also understand that sometimes children think they're smarter than you and they'll manipulate you and they'll play on you. So last night, me and my wife got into it and see this thing about me, I be telling my business. I'm not like me, you know, a lot of these folks on here that just try to act like all hunky door or peach and cream, I tell my business because that's the point of it, it's teaching. Last night me and my wife got into it not in a real way when they say get into it because my son, I gave him a talking to going home and he got motivated so he got home, he was like I wanna get up early in the morning, I wanna, can I get up early in the morning and run? And I was like, I don't think that's a good idea son work out when you come home after school when you are ready up. And then my wife said the same thing so my son got to know basically, me and my wife on the same page. So then he go to my wife and he say, well, why can't I get up in the morning? My wife don't wanna be the bad guy. So she say, your daddy say, he don't think it's a good idea. So I'm up in the gym, get my work out in. So he come up to the gym and say, why can't I wake up in the morning? Why can't I get up early in the morning? I say, well son, it's because you barely can wake up when you wake up on time. Your body need extra sleep, you a premature baby. Your immune system is not like every other child. You need a lot of sleep and your mama don't think it's a good idea. No, I could do it, I could do it. Obviously I wouldn't do it if this and that and this and that. I say, well, okay, I say, okay, listen, I'm okay with greatness. So if greatness is what you after, then I'm okay with you waking up. If your mama okay with it, I'm okay with it. So I say, when you go down there and tell her, is she okay with it? I'm okay with it. And he said, no, you tell her because I don't want to hear her mouth right now. He said something to that effect. And so I test and I say, listen, I told him, if you okay with it, I'm okay with it. And she was like, see there, we was on the same page but now here you are talking about you okay with it. If I'm okay with it, but it's not a good idea. I don't, I say, I told him that but I say he might need to learn for itself. So if he wake up and his body break down, he go to sniffing, then you get to throw that in his face and let him know. See, I told you, sometimes kids got to learn through natural consequences. So me and wife got into it over that. And I ain't let it fade. Me, I was working out, I put phone down, then I went on down and I just talked to a regular. I just went right on on. And sometimes as human, we want to get in us a little move and I'd be the same way. I'm the main corporate of it for years. And it's that type of thing. And I told her, I say, he just want us at odds. Cause my son older. So what he didn't realize at 15, if me and his mama is on the same page, stuff shut down for him. But if he could get on one, get one of us to be on his side and the other one is, is not, and he could come between, he realized he'd get more leeway. Cause if he mad with mama and he's sucking up the daddy and daddy don't want them to be mad with him, then daddy let them do this, let them do that, let them do that and vice versa. So that's what we got to understand when kids come into play. Now see, now that was the parenting lesson. We didn't have relationship lesson, parenting lesson, finance lesson, business lesson, all in one night. How do you deal with a spouse? Ava, you forgot to put your hashtag Q in front of your question. How do you deal with a spouse who never pours the energy into me but gives that energy to friends and coworkers faithfully? By the way, I'm his coworker as well. Well, that's your spouse. And like they say, familiarity, somebody probably could say that a little smoother, familiarity breeds contempt. So when we get used to people and we know that they're there and we know they're gonna be there, we take them for granted. We take them for granted. So we have to come to a place where we express our feelings and what we are missing and what is needed. And then we also have to let the person know that our access will not always be granted. So when a person feel like you will always be there, they'll take you for granted. But when you let a person know that you're gonna get distant and kind of start to remove yourself from the situation, kind of back up if they don't meet you halfway, then that's when you get to see where a person really at. Hey, Mr. Gaskin, what is your take on men that are 40 years old, has no kids and never been married? My mom says he's gay or something wrong with him mentally. Your mom ain't hold bike, this is my goodness. But guess what? That's the same thing that a lot of men used to say about women who was 40 plus, no kids, never been married. But it's not a one size fits all. Sometimes it's just a person has been into their work and sometimes it's just a person has not met their match. And we like to hope it's like one of those things and not that it's a mental issue or it's something going on, something wrong. And when I see it in men, typically it's a socially awkward man. Typically the man over 40 who's never been married, no kids, he just really wasn't a ladies man growing up. And so he really has no, he doesn't know his way around women and then he gets a job and he becomes successful and he gets access to women. But yet he's still insecure or he's still just living out his dreams because now he gets to sleep with all these women and he just doesn't know much. And then on the other side is he's sexually confused to where he can't come out the closet to be with a man, but he also don't really wanna be with a woman because he don't wanna live a lie. I'm 39 years old, no kid is not married yet, doesn't make you creepy. And that's the truth, especially today. See today is totally different. So I think that that idea that we had is coming from 70 years ago when everybody was getting married because you needed to marry to have financial stability, to make it, you needed to marry. Oh, it looked like, is it queen or queen? Say your question, get missed. Now see had you put your question right there, I would have seen it. Oh, okay, I see it right here. Why are some men intimidated by independent women? Now, queen, that's nice to see. They're probably why they moved your question up there. It just outdated, overrated, overused question. What independent women been asking over and over and over and why men intimidated by independent women? And you know what? I'm gonna tell you. Back when I first used to start to get that question, I used to say no man is intimidated by a woman. And now today I have to take that back. I retract that, I retract that. Because see as things change, things change and you got to be able to change. That's why I say we can't keep applying 1950 advice to 2022. So today there are a lot of men intimidated by independent women. Because today there is true independence. Today a woman don't need a man for Nathan. Cause she could, I just heard on the radio they were trying to collect sperm. Cause she could go to the clinic and get on some sperm and have a little baby. Today, and she got a check on them. Today a woman don't need a man for nothing. Now the child might need that man for something and things of that nature. But today a woman could pay her own bills, take care of herself. They selling dildos of all lengths and girfs, all kind of battery power. And it's like when you look at it, most men as men we given our wives a headache. A lot of days I get on my wife's nerves. Just something I done said or did get on a nerve. Sometimes I don't even know what it be. So a lot of times a woman got a headache from a man. So today it's a lot of women like, okay, how bad do I want a headache? How bad do I want to argue and debate with a man? How bad? That's the question that I'm hearing women ask. And so what's happening is as insecure men, and I'm insecure too. A lot of days, a lot of times I'd have been insecure. So as insecure men, we will be intimidated by a woman who don't need us because we want to be needed. So when a woman could give you her left cheek to kiss and they ain't talking about the one on her face, that's intimidating because it's like, well, Dern, what am I gonna be there for? And that's what the bishop was in the pulpit, hauling about, because basically what he was saying is, y'all women don't need a man no more cause y'all could pay y'all own bills and do your own thing and you ain't letting the man talk to you any kind of way, now you'll snap back. So he say women becoming like men. When really it's just women saying, no, we learning how to survive and how to defend ourselves in this dog eat dog world. So you got to understand that right now. So y'all, hey, I'm gonna go and get ready to go. I will tell them I'm gonna be gone at 60 minutes cause man tired today cause see, listening to my wife, you know, you see, that's the thing. You try to give people a voice and y'all don't get me in trouble with this. Now I'm gonna tell her tonight, you try to give people a voice. Well, you always ask me for my opinion and then you don't wanna listen to me. So I say, okay, my wife told me, she say, can you do a 30 minute walk when you get home? I say, yes I can, but isn't that gonna keep me up at night? She say, no, but what she didn't realize is my body different than her body. So my wife could drink a espresso and get in the bed and go to sleep. My body, I get a little stimulation, man, I'm up because I'm already a hustler in the ground and I go get them. See, she have mommy brain, which y'all know as mothers, when you dealing with kids in school and homework, y'all be a different kind of tire. But as what me and a lot of times what we into, even if we dealing with a kid, like I'm here with my son, but I'm doing this right here. So this stimulating, this engaging. So therefore I don't be as drained and tired as my wife be. So here she is got me working out last night. I'm up to 1 32 o'clock in the morning. But then my body's still gonna wake me up at six o'clock because I'm also trained, I'm trained to kill. I'm trained to protect. So when noise moving my house, I wake up unless I'm really, really just knocked all the way out. So when she get up at four, five, six o'clock, I'm waking up. So if I went to bed at two, I'm waking up when she get up and I'm tired. So right now I'm like, I'm tired. So tonight, and so I told her, I said, yes, so I did your workout and I was up to 1 30. She said, your body's weird. I said, no, that's your body weird that you could work out. I say, every study in the world say you not supposed to work out within three hours of your bedtime. I say, come on, I ain't working out tonight. I'll tell you that. Somebody put a 1999 on there, but it won't let me click on it at the top of my screen. I'll see, my boyfriend is 31 and I'm 22 together one year and four months. He's been distant and gotten cold towards me. I have some insecurities that he kept talking to me about. However, I think it's too late. What should I do? Since you probably gonna need coaching. When you finna make a decision like that where you gonna leave your relationship or something, you need a coaching session. Can't really do big questions and decision like that on here. The other thing is he too old for you. And so this year and four months, it might be by time to let it go. Especially if he doing distance and silent treatments and all the kind of games. And then if you realize you got insecurities, you might not need to be in a relationship. You might need to be working on you instead of interrelationship with known insecurities that's being played on. So when you understand those things and you know those things, you gotta respond to those things and not just, you know, keep going. Hey, God bless y'all to all the certified coaches. Make sure you visit TonyGaslinAcademy.com and watch that video on that page about our new coaches support group. And this is for serious coaches who really ready to go to that next level. Don't know how many coaches gonna be in there cause it is, you know, an investment. But from what I have heard and maybe cause I'm doing it wrong cause I be real chill and I be real calm and I don't show everything. So although I have a seven figure business, I don't show a seven figure business because I don't be showing y'all houses and cars and all of that stuff and bank account screenshots like a lot of internet marketers do. And so a lot of times because I come on here so basic, whole diamond country, when I put a price on something people don't think it's worth it cause they feel like do Tony really know what he talking about? But in this group, you gon, you gon see. And you gon learn how to build your coaching business but not just your coaching business how to build your life. So make sure you visit TonyGaslinAcademy.com. If you haven't taken the life coach certification you gotta get certified. You gotta take the course first before you could join the support group. So God bless you now. And now I'm getting ready to get off of here now but Meridia got in the VIP line so I'm gonna answer this question. Hey Tony, I'm 27 and founded career that is promising. However, it is extremely demanding and has taken a toll on anything else but I feel God gave me an opportunity. What is your advice? Seize the opportunity. Seize the opportunity. And when the season is up you'll know the season is up but sometimes in the summer or the spring we got to work and we got to store. And then when the winter comes we then store it up. So if you got opportunity that's amazing you take that opportunity to understand that the seasons will change. So when you really feel like throwing in the towel that means the season is time to change and that's when you shift. But as long as you got a little more energy and you're young and you got that opportunity you're 27, you're still a baby. So take that opportunity and then change seasons when it's time to change when you done completely exhausted that opportunity and got everything out of it that you could get out of. Hey, God bless y'all, we'll talk soon.