 So, good morning once again, good morning to all the students here online and all those of you who are doing the e-learning course, I hope that you are keeping in step and being encouraged just a reminder that the entire course completes on the 27th of November. So for those of you who are doing the e-learning, encouraging you to, if there is any kind of a backlog to get ahead and complete the assessments, complete the work that's needed so that you get your certificates by the end of the course. All right. I hope all of you all are doing well. From picking up from last week, we have been looking at the foundations of parenting and today we are going to be focusing on nurturing children. The last time we bought about the entire, certain principles of parenting and we looked at different, we looked at discipline, we looked at being a role model, we looked at how, you know, we as parents need to represent the God, the Father. Today we're going to specifically look at how can we nurture children. So this entire chapter is nurturing children not just in the faith, but also in the practical things of living. So we will look at some of these areas, may not be completely comprehensive, but nevertheless, we are attempting to make it as, you know, as whole as possible. So nurturing children, when we look at a parent's responsibility, that is the biggest responsibility of the parent is to bring about a good environment for the children so that they understand how to live, how to conduct themselves, how to build relationships with people and most of all how to build their relationship with God. So as a parent, our responsibility is immense and nurturing children is an intentional exercise. It's something that we need to do with caution, with intention and also with wisdom and prayer. Okay. So as we begin, I think, okay, sorry, I'm on page 171. If you'd like to follow through, I'm on page 171 of the chapter on nurturing children. So we do see in many cultures and I'd like to speak for my culture that nurturance of the children somehow largely falls on a mother, okay, because at least in maybe an earlier generation, there were a lot of women who weren't working and they've been tending the home and the care of the children, the needs of the children were all taken care of by the mother. Concepts changed as we progress now with a lot of women getting into employment, getting into work and a lot of this needs to be shared. However, in some cultures, we do find that there is a higher load that gets pushed on to the woman because of the nature of the role that she plays. So she could be a working mother. She could be the main nurturer at home for the children taking care of their needs. But even as we look at that perspective, let's look at what the word says. The Bible gives very strong instructions to a father, okay. And if you'd like to read along, if someone on page 171, there are two verses that I want to bring to your notice and if someone could unmute and read. I'd like you to read Genesis 18, 19 and Malachi chapter 4 verses 5 and 6. If somebody could unmute and read that, that would be wonderful. Genesis 19 verse what this verse? Chapter 18 verse 19. Genesis 18. Genesis 18, 19 it says, for I know him that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he had spoken of him. Amen. Thank you, blessing. Thank you. Malachi chapter 4 verses 5 and 6. Anybody? Okay, Malachi chapter 4 verse 5 to 6, it says, behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord, and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Thank you. Thank you, blessing. So we do see that there is an instruction that is given to the fathers to be able to take their place in nurturing and fathering their children. If we look back at the chapter on where we spoke about roles and marriage, one of the biggest roles that is given to a husband is to lead the family, is to be in a place of leadership. So God does desire that the father takes the place to instruct the children about who God is, and we see in the second verse, if you look in on that same page, it talks of how in a Joshua makes the oath that as for his family and him, he will serve the Lord. So the responsibility lies in the hands of a father to be able to take the stand for God and take the stand and the ownership of leading the household to serve the Lord, and that means the children also. And there are no two ways of this. That is something that God has instituted for the fathers to do. And while doing so, that's how you see the hearts of the fathers turn to their children and in turn the hearts of the children turning to their fathers. Because when the father takes the rightful place or as a husband, you take the rightful place in leading the home, leading the home into worship and nurturing them in the faith and in the things of God, it positions you for a place of blessing. So if you look at Malachi chapter four verse six, it talks, you know, the last part it says, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse. So if you take it the other way, it is when this is done, when the hearts of the fathers turn to the children, when the hearts of the children turn to the father, there will be a blessing. You are positioning yourself for a blessing. So as a father, as a husband, that leadership of taking and nurturing the home belongs to you and it is something as a man, as a husband, you take on the responsibility to do, of overseeing, of being able to lead. Yes, the wife stands as a helper, why it stands as a support to doing that maybe largely, probably a lot of the groundwork is done there. But as a husband, you are to stand, you are to not compromise on that role of leading and nurturing the children in faith and in the things of God. So as you're doing that, what are you doing is you are creating an environment for the complete development of the child. It's like the greenhouse and I'm sure we've all seen a greenhouse either in a botanical garden and that specific greenhouse is kept there and the environment is completely controlled and protected and the plants that are in there are monitored and they have the right sunlight, they have the right kind of manure, the right kind of water. The conditions are intentional, the conditions are monitored. Similarly, our homes should be an environment which has the culture of God that is sown in so that there is a complete, a holistic development of the children. And that belongs to, that role is what belongs to the parents where you are creating an environment of the things of God. So creating an environment where there is love, where there is faith, where there is peace, where there is joy, where there is holiness, where there is righteousness and that comes, it comes trickled only by the parents to the children and even in an environment like that, you also do give space and encourage the children to begin to pursue what God's put in their hearts, maybe pursuing different interests or helping them develop certain principles and techniques, sorry, skills and values that will build them up. So in an environment like this, you're not only encouraging the development of the spirit but also the body and the soul. So again, the responsibility of parenthood is not just ensuring that they are fed well, they are educated well, they have enough skills to make it in life probably as part of a career but a lot more. So this nurturance that we are talking about is not just nutrition and education, it's a whole lot more of teaching them about skills that they need to deal with life, teaching them about the faith in God too, which is the most important treasure that a parent can give to a child because apart from it, apart from it, there is nothing that they can achieve. So when we're looking at nurturance, it is like a greenhouse, think of your home like a greenhouse where you are, the conditions are monitored and it is intentional, it is protected, it is controlled in order to bring them up in the things of God as well as in helping them to lead their life as a good example, as a good testimony. So that's the responsibility of us as parents to be able to create that environment. Now in doing so, what are we also attempting to do is to understand, I think we've spoken about this the last time, but just to reiterate a bit more, that all our children are, I mean anyone born in the image of God is created uniquely, is created special, which means when God designed every person or when we look at our children, when God designed every child, there were things that he put into each person, there maybe it's a passion for something, it's a gift for something or it's a desire to do something and all of us are made differently. So it's almost, I would liken it like when you get a package, you don't know what's in the package but you're waiting to discover to see what you will find in the specific package you have. So think of it that way that whenever God creates a child or creates a human being, there is definitely so much potential pact in them, no matter who they are, what their history is, so much of potential pact in them and God has given the parents, I think we should be inclined to be able to discover that. When you look at the verse that Sam 139 captures it so beautifully, where you see how God has personally and individually invested in each individual. So I'm just going to read that for you, so it says, I will praise you for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are your works and that my soul knows well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret and skillfully rot in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed and in your book they were all written the days fashion for me when as yet there were none of them how precious are your thoughts to me oh God how great is the sum of them. So we see that God has placed different skills and giftings in the lives of our children and we as parents are there as two words to encourage them to discover that to be able to be in that journey of discovery. So again, remember that each person goes through a different kind of journey. There may be some that you will notice those giftings right from the beginning you know children who sing and you know make songs and play music at an early age. Some of them yes it is there evidently seen some of them may need to discover it. However, we know that God has placed a gifting in each one of our children and it is for us to be able to help them to journey through life to be able to you know capture it to guide them through it to help them to learn and develop maybe certain skills to improve that. Whatever we are called to do is to is to provide those opportunities so that we help to nurture what God has placed inside of them. So remember every time you look at your child look at them as a package where there is something to be discovered each new day because God has marvellously fearfully wonderfully made them and skillfully put them there and hidden those things in them and it is for us to bring out that you know those those best things that God has put into their lives. So when we look at our children we look at them as as individuals who are created for influence and created for impact okay when you look at the verse in Psalm 112 verse 2 it says the good man's children will be powerful in the land and his descendants will be blessed. Now this is something that God has declared about your children and my children it says the righteous the the children of the righteous the other verses sorry other versions say that the righteous man's offspring or the children of the righteous will be powerful in the land and they their descendants will be blessed. So our children carry power and carry blessing and they designed to be powerful designed to have impact and influence and what is our role is to kindle that potential to bring it out to you know light the fire so that it can start burning and how do we do that there may be certain practical ways in being able to do that we can't expect that the best in our children will come out if we are constantly berating them constantly belittling them constantly picking out things that they don't do well constantly trying to improve their character rather than commending some of the things of their character. So there are certain ways that we should be working towards to help out to bring the best of them on you know it's it's like this when you're baking cookies if you're not going to put it in in a in a you know in in the oven which has the optimum heat it's either going to burn or it's going to become under baked right it has to become optimum and for the right time so similarly you know we need to ensure that we give them like the greenhouse controlled intentional ways of building up that environment so speaking things that are bless a blessing over them you know speaking positively to them to encourage and to build their their their sense of worth or their sense of confidence finding things in their character that you can actually highlight and you know appreciating them for taking some of those steps forward to build themselves up or helping them to and journey with them in order to make good choices and also you know walking alongside with them when they make those wrong wrong choices and or you know just being with them when they are emotionally finding it difficult to make those choices on their own that doesn't mean we step in and make choices for them but we are there encouraging them helping them building them up to guiding them with wisdom to make those choices and it could and yes these things do take time these things do take intention because you know like for example maybe your child would just come up and say you know I don't know what to do I don't know whether I have to take up this kind of a career or this kind of a career so the easiest work for a parent is hey you know this is a is the best option because I know the the the pros and the cons of this but then you know you've clipped your child you really haven't been able to give them the ability to decision make rather sit with him sit with him maybe it's for weeks it's for months but being able to engage in a conversation helping him find out what are the details of path A or career A or career B working it alongside with them really builds and encourages not just finding a career but the ability to make decisions the ability to make choices so yes engaging with them through that process now there are times that children are going to fail and you know I keep saying this that our homes are like a laboratory you know it's like like a science laboratory where before they are launched out into the world this is the best the lab is the best place where you can make mistakes in your experiments right you can blow it up and you can spill it and you can make a wrong concoction that's the best place so standing with them as they make their mistakes in the home is so vital for them to be more confident to address failures and address successes as they move out into the world so helping them do that is and the environment that we create is what really brings about the best in the children and these things cannot be done if we don't spend time and space for communication to be able to spend time regularly with them to talk to them I think more than talking I've figured the principle of listening is better as the children grow older of course there is and the kind of things that I'm learning right now is more than bringing up statements questions really help them to think and questions really help me to understand so as you place questions being in a place of listening and helping them to just speak whatever maybe you know things in their lives things that they're struggling with things that maybe interest them and as we're doing so you know you're encouraging them with with your love with your presence with your support with your wisdom and continue I think it's as you spend more time with them you get to know them you're also putting in so much in their lives that because of that just that space for meaningful conversations in itself will help to bear a good fruit at a later point of time so ensuring that there is time and and room that you build with the children for conversations and you know the best way to do that is also informally like as an in scripture says in Proverbs 2511 the right word at the right time is like a piece of jewelry right so when you say the right things at the right time that's when it catches it best so so use so doing that even at informal times so something that you know I used to do with the kids earlier you know as they were growing into their routines to get them to start thinking about different things is you know when we when we used to go out when we're on the street we may see probably a couple of kids either you know maybe they're smoking or someone who's recklessly driving a bike without a helmet or doing a wheelie you know things that can be absolutely risky and dangerous you know because understanding that as as someone in their youth you know in between the ages of 14 to 19 risk taking behavior is so high and often judgment doesn't prevail there right so something I do is you know when we when I do notice these things like this I bring it up as a question and I ask them what do you think about this or what do you feel about this or how what do you say about you know what you're seeing so I think another example is the the kind of billboards or the ads that do come up you know in the entertainment screen and you find so many things that are obscene and revealing and language that is used that is you know that is unholy it is easier for a parent to probably dismiss it and pretend as of your child has not heard but it takes intention to bring it up and raise it up and because by doing so that's when you're actually building godly principles so you know maybe as you're watching a movie there are things that you see values and principles of god that aren't being displayed or portrayed there bringing that up and bringing it up as a discussion and I mean not really going and saying okay this is what the word of the lord says you shouldn't do this you shouldn't do this you shouldn't do that which means you know you've just done your work and says okay I've done what I did whether it makes sense to them or not I don't care but I think it's to engage them in understanding where they are at what are their thoughts of it you know what do you think about premarital sex what do you think about multiple relationships what do you think about extra marital affairs now while that's the while that's happening you are able to use those moments to teach them what the word of god says and what you as a family stand up for for the child to know that nurturing comes from the specific word of god it's not an idea that we are picking up because it sounds good it's something because we honor and want to obey god so using those moments to to help children know different things about life and you know I always do tell parents also is be practical in the way that you nurture your children there may be times that you have an underlying biblical truth okay but the way that it is presented to the children or the way that it is discussed with the children you know you may not be saying bible verse and chapter but there is the underlying biblical truth or principle that we are bringing out okay and of course letting them know that there are things that that the lord loves god god loves when we keep to his law yet we are people of grace but he loves that we keep to his law we keep to his word because it is given to us for our benefit and for our blessing so you know use practical methods as well as round it well when you are teaching scripture the next of course important thing as you nurture children is nurturing their faith right and when we look at and maybe I'd like somebody to read the second part of that verse in page 173 which is Deuteronomy 6 5 to 9 Deuteronomy 6 5 to 9 I there are many verses I mean you could take some time to read it later but I just want to highlight this one Deuteronomy 6 5 to 9 would somebody kindly read that shall I read no sure sure go ahead Deuteronomy 6 5 to 9 says love the lord your god with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength never forget these commands that I am giving you today teach them to your children repeat them when you are at home and when you are away when you are resting and when you are working tie them on your arms and veer them on your foreheads as a reminder write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates thank you thank you amy so um you know I love this verse because there's so much of treasure in this verse and I want to unpack that for you okay so the responsibility that we are given as parents is to teach our children about the word of god to teach them about who he is to teach them about his work his ways about what he's done for us and if you look in this verse it's it you know it encourages you to to to do it at all times now if you look at verse 5 there's a specific instruction that it is given to parents so if you need to teach your children about god what do you need to do look at verse 5 it says love the lord your god with all your heart with all your soul with all your strength so you should be in a position of a strong relationship with god the father um to be able to do that okay so developing your own personal relationship with god is vital in as you teach the children as you nurture them in faith okay and if you look at it in verse 7 it says teach these commands to your children teach it to them in your children to your children repeat them when you're at home and when you are away when you're resting when you're working so if you if you look at the different times that it says it's when you're at home what you're doing when you're at home you're probably relaxing or when you're away maybe you're relaxing when you're resting or when you're working or even when it's something that is that's more formal so you teach it to them not just informally sorry not just formally and those formal parts of it maybe you know sending the kids to a Sunday school or to a bible class yes they made more more formal kinds of teaching but also something that is done informally when you're just sitting at home and you're relaxing and you're having fun choosing every opportunity to be able to teach them the word of god look at verse 8 it says tie them on your arms and wear them on your foreheads as a reminder if you look at you know when we when we look at arms and when we look at forehead arms have everything to do with your actions and forehead has everything to do with your mind in your thoughts so so it's saying you know let the word of god be in in your actions and as as well as in your mind is in your thoughts so it's not just about the behavior but it's also about the heart so when you are giving the word of god to them it's not just that they come up with an impeccable behavior but also a holy heart you know we've we've read that in scripture so many times guard guard the heart because it's the wellspring of life so to be able to do that to help them and to teach them in in not just in what they think or in their in their sorry not in what they do but also in their heart ninth verse it says write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gate so you know if you look at that you know sometimes we take it so literally we'll say okay we put verses up on the in the house good I mean it's wonderful please do that but I think there's so much more depth in that it says write them on the doorposts of your house so ensure when you teach your children that they are in a place that they will follow your commands in the private setting of your home doorposts is something that you don't allow anyone else to walk in just like that yeah it's the doorpost is something that's protected and it's private so let them be in a place that they can honor your word even in the private parts of their life just like they do on the public and on your gates meaning the public square you know the gates are open to anyone to walk in you generally don't have a guard at the gate but you may have a guard in your you know you lock up your door so that no one can just walk in at least in India that's how it is right the gates are open but the doors are locked so it says teach them formally teach them informally let it let it come out in their actions just as much as it comes out from their heart let this word dwell in their private lives just as it would in their public life so so do you see how much of you know how much of a responsibility you and I have as a parent to be able to integrate the word of God not just on the outside but in within their depth so so as a parent we choose every opportune moment to bring about God's word creatively to them bring it about in truth bring it about at the right time right and some of them you know you know that and and I think in my personal journey I've seen that the times that I'm you know just so lost a quick a quick prayer and say holy spirit make this the right moment that I'm able to bring about something that you want me to say and it happens it just you know the holy spirit gives you the right thing to to say and to and to lead them at okay so sometimes it's not just saying anything it's just probably a hug or a show of love or a show of comfort for them that helps them see you know God's love through you so doing this intentionally is what we are called to do I think there are so many resources that are there and doing it some of them with them you know studying the word of God with them finding small exercise to do with them is always helpful and if you look at you know in our website itself there are many books that you can walk along with your children with you know help them as they make that journey with with God okay I'll stop here just two minutes would any of you have any questions before we stop for a break any questions yes Samuel go ahead sort of more of a comment okay something that that's that I feel you know and this is largely from my own life which is I think or I know that you know Christian kids children or believers children actually do not fit into the world as as believers it's you know we we do not call and I think the same principle applies to us in his blog Samuel are you sorry I think you're breaking up is this am I only the one not able to hear or is everyone not able to hear Samuel can hear me now Pastor yeah yeah yeah that's better yes yeah that's better Samir go ahead so sorry so what I'm saying is I think or Christian kids as Christians are or as believers are in in in a lot of ways or or in in the truest of sense do not belong to the world you know are not called to conform to the world and as as per biblical principles we are to set a whole different standard and and you know the kingdom standard and I think as mature individuals a lot of us understand that but raising kids in in that principle is sort of challenging because there comes a time when children you know like first you know we are the for the children their immediate tribe is their mom dad and probably the siblings but there comes a time when they start exploring the outside world and they start trying to create their own tribe and and you know also explore their own identity in the world and and a part of that means to be accepted in the society to kind of fit in like you know even me as as growing up I would want to fit into my pencil because I would want to fit into my college I would want to fit into my classroom and and kids I think as children we go to learn we go at length to kind of fit in and and and that's when the whole thing of peer pressure and and whatnot comes in so I feel this whole lesson on lesson to our kids that you know yeah you need to make friends and you need to be accepted in the society but at the same time you don't conform to the society and and maybe everyone in your class is excited about this party where there'll be this is the first time we're allowed to be drinking or smoking and the whole class is kind of internally excited the adults don't know about it and at times you know in a class of 40 kids you know my kid maybe the only one who has to say like no I will not be and and I think that's so hard for a 13 14 15 year old I mean that's that's really really tough so I think I mean my daughter's just five now but I constantly prepare for this you know like how because I mean for my own life I feel a lot of mistakes that I did was in my attempt to fit into the society and only when later realizing that actually I'm not called to fit into the society but actually to be different but then how does you know how does a 15 year old understand that I think yeah that's that's the tricky bit for me yeah I agree Sam that that is definitely not easy and I think that's why as a parent you stand as a friend you stand as a guide you stand as a as a support to walk them through that not always successful there are times that they're going to fail and I think when I look back at my own journey probably a lot of us feel that way maybe we didn't have many people to stand alongside with us maybe as much as our children do at this time you know with a lot of awareness and with the with so much of community that there is it wasn't there and at least in my time we were all isolated singled out and we lived it difficult and I'm sure the baggage of that continues in some way or the other but of course we're redeemed and that's our hope but nevertheless I think as a parent that's why we are called to live with them daily to nurture them on a regular basis and see them through those those struggles especially these adolescent these adolescent years thank you thank you Sam all right so let's close for a break it's 10 56 or my clock we will get back at 11 6 10 minutes and we'll be back see you soon