 Collin response. Thank you all for coming now. I can't see any of you Thank you all for coming to tonight's performance and Q&A Before we start a couple of very brief announcements First we want to thank the de flores fund for humor For helping us put this on if you have any funny ideas, please apply to the de flores fund We can approve grants of $750 at any time and grants more than that twice a year There is a mailing list For the communications form which this is a part of right outside there on a table if you sign up for that We will only send you emails about events So you'll get between five and six emails a year But if you want to be kept informed about things like this, please do that There are also materials from the title nine of violence prevention and response office on the table outside Tonight we are all here to see Cameron Esposito Who is a nationally headlining comedian? She has appeared in feature films on Comedy Central on HBO. She's to write a column for the AV club She has she has been a part of several incredible podcasts Her most recent comedy special is one that I cannot recommend highly enough it's called rape jokes and it deals with sexual assault from a survivor's perspective and it has so that so far raised more than $95,000 for the rape abuse and incest national network It is available for streaming on her website Cameron Esposito calm before we call her out a couple of very Quick guidelines for tonight. You are welcome to take pictures as long as there are no flash Please do not make any video recordings, but pictures are fine And please know audio recordings after Cameron does her stand-up set We're gonna do a brief Q&A and then an audience Q&A So don't leave when she is done and with that will you please join me in giving a big welcome to Cameron Esposito? So now I'm gonna do a stand-up set 45 minutes or so a Couple of other quick announcements before we go on in my excitement to get Cameron out here I neglected to thank two other Places at MIT that helped us put this on the Mind Hand Heart Innovation Fund and women and gender studies at MIT Both of whom did a lot to help make this happen So the way this is gonna work Cameron and I are gonna talk for a little while. We'll open it up to you We have two microphones So during the Q&A part you can come down and stand at the mic if you are unable to come down To the mic for some reason just raise your hand and we will get a mic to you Also before we start this portion It's possible that during this section of the night We're gonna talk about a topic that might bring up something in some of you and we want to know that you do have support Violence prevention and response is MIT's confidential resource for sexual assault stalking harassment and sexual harassment and what confidential means in this context there are University employees typically are required to report Sexual harassment or sexual assault under Title IX laws violence prevention and response is a place where you can go and talk to them Confidentially, they do not give your name to anyone. There is not a report that needs to come out of that that is up to you They have a 24-hour hotline and there's also an advocate here Alessandra who can offer support the hotline number is 617 253 2300 and again, there's a violence prevention and response Table right outside Along with the communications forum sign-up sheet, which we hope you sign up for so Move over here Surf that I should like get get down. I was gonna sit down on the ground This is so satisfying. I Mean I might take this out, but it's just so isn't it cute This is still so little I Feel like a dry Well, I think this is like this is like a table guy. Yeah, exactly, but just seeing it on the floor like that The sweetest thing I ever saw No, I know I know I know Have you used a microphone before? Yes, I know but it's just this part so this fun. It's the world's most ineffective boom mic You're you're in the shot. No, I know it's I just don't they have so much So thank you for coming. Oh, yes, we'll quiz you on the different course numbers later That was a fun part of the show. I still don't have no idea what they are and I've been here for nine years. I think so People say like I'm in course three and I just not There you go. Somebody's really a fan of course three So well, I wanted to ask first about about your special. Yeah rape jokes What made you what brought that about what made you want to do that and we haven't talked at all about it I know if you want to talk a little bit about what that special is. Yeah, absolutely so it's um, it's an hour about sexual assault from my first-person perspective as a survivor and I Put it out for free at my website and I know you mentioned this in my intro But I'll just say this all to you because you know, I know these are times where you can it just can feel so overwhelming like is there even anything good in the world sometimes and So you can watch it for free and then there's an option where you can choose to donate and so Folks have chosen to donate over $95,000 like it's a for free thing So that to me it gives me a lot of hope and I really love that So just shout out to all of the human beings that are the felt Affected enough and I got a chance to go to a rain is the World the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. I got a chance to join their organization on their advisory council and to go to see the Room where they take phone calls and so this has been a really wonderful Process for me and the process of making that special was I woke up in the middle of the night And I just like had that title in my head because rape jokes are it's like been it's one of those things It's been debated for as long as I've been doing comedy like are there certain topics that are off limits And it's like it just strikes me as utter silliness because When people are talking about Something like sexual assault first of all there always seems to be this implied difference between that men and women feel differently About sexual assault and I find that in my anecdotal evidence or experience that is not true like I know a lot of men who either are survivors themselves or who like came up to me and Told me how much this affected them. So like I kind of think a lot of us are on the same side Which is the side of justice. That's the first thing and good communication and better education because One of our biggest problems. I think as a country is that we don't have sex ed So how can you know when whether or not you're doing something consensual? but but The other thing I hear often when I hear people talk about rape jokes is like There'll be just a comic will go out and say something that's just deliberately offensive or Obtuse in some way and then get upset that the audience wants more from them as a comic like don't be a fan Like buck up and censorship and it's like sort of the stuff I was talking about during my set and I I just think like if you're a comic and somebody tells you hey Be more careful with this thing that has really affected real people that You should want to be a good enough artist to make better jokes like that that Somebody giving you feedback is an opportunity to improve your art and especially I also always assume There are survivors in the room because I'm a survivor So we all it's also something that we talk about as if like there's nobody Affected by it. It's one of those topics that we just trot out to talk about as if it only affects people outside the room and Statistically it affects people in every single room that we're in so I Just think there's a huge shift that we could make and I was happy with the with rape jokes for just doing a tiny bit too Well, at least to get my opinion out there and for people who haven't seen it and then when you do donate It's very cool because like two seconds later you get an email from Cameron that says thank you And I was like oh my god, you're so welcome I Imagined you every individual time. Thank you so much set manukin And so so what is the experience of then of of taking that out and and talking to people after That show and after you do Do do that stand up? What has that experience been like with the audiences? Well, I only I only did that material in really small rooms because I didn't feel like It was something where I could come out in like a like when I'm here in Boston I often play the Wilbur and like that's a big beautiful room But I didn't feel like I could go into the Wilbur and like bring up this topic And then just sort of like leave So I'd only did it in rooms that were a hundred Max people and sometimes smaller than that Because I wanted to like have a chance to be with the audience afterwards because a lot of times people would out Themselves to me as survivors or that they had survivors in their family or just to have a chance to like connect on it And it just felt to me like I didn't feel like it was something I could come out and dump on an audience even though It's like it's not like a heavy special. It's real and there are parts that aren't funny, but it's It's not like to do damage, but I just felt like there was some aftercare required Right. Yeah, so it was like really intimate audiences and I and I heard directly from a lot of people That's not usually my experience. I play bigger rooms than that now and So sometimes there's like a really big line and I'm not trying to not sound arrogant, but it's just much bigger rooms now Yeah, I play bigger rooms now So there's like a much bigger line So it just it's not as easy to be with individual people because there's like a bunch of people behind So you like try to keep it moving. Yeah, but that didn't feel like what I could do for this and and is that So now that you've done that special, do you think you will continue to do that in smaller rooms? Are you moving on to other yet? I will never do that Material again. I don't think some of it was in here But like as the hour that exists like I don't think I'll ever do it again. Um, I Was so lucky to get a chance to This was like the coolest project because also people donated their time Which is something I never asked folks to to donate for things that they should be paid for But in this case, I knew that all the money was going to be donated and I knew I was donating my time So I felt a little bit more comfortable and I just feel like I captured exactly what I wanted to capture and I think it's like I'm very proud of it and It exists and I feel like now I can move on a little bit I got to say my piece and that's more than most people get to do Moving back a bit You obviously were not you didn't major in comedy in college Was what got you into improv it sounds like pretty much right after school you you started getting involved in improv Yeah, well actually at BC has the weirdly has the oldest collegiate improv group in the country It's called my mother's flea bag. It still exists Amy polar wasn't it ten years before I was and so when I was at school Amy was like just breaking out on SNL So there was this feeling like oh, all you do is just like act like a banana in the cafeteria for like Three nights a month or whatever and then like you get to be a famous person, you know and I got my first job working professionally in Improv the day after I graduated so it's I've always Since the day after I graduated from school. I've been working professionally in comedy And did you always know you wanted to perform and it sounds like you were a Cardinal maybe oh, it was just a red wing. You know that bird. Yes, right, right No, I was I was a jock I played a lot of sports you have those incredible ligaments. I mean, yeah, yeah I have those like now it's like a three sport athlete in high school and And I was like on student council and stuff like that I was like very involved the person setting up for the dances and if you can if you remember that person like the person's like putting stringers everywhere all the time and Then at BC I played rugby What yeah, oh is a delayed rugby woo. Yeah Yeah, I played rugby so yeah, I I didn't know about Well, that's why I asked some of you like Like what you're studying because I really didn't know this was a job I went to like a college prep high school and I really didn't know anybody that wasn't Catholic and I Didn't know that arts and entertainment like I would see people on TV and I didn't understand I Think maybe I still had like Almost like an infant's understanding of like they live in the in the TV like I just you know, like I like It's crowded and they have to share a bet. There's a lot of them Yeah, I didn't know this was a job so I Even didn't know it was a job after I was doing it professionally like I Applied to go to grad school and I started getting my master's in social work. I when I worked when I lived out here I worked in special ed with kids with severe physical special needs and so I Was still I was doing comedy at night. I had other stuff that I thought would be my Career I thought comedy would be my passion. You could have been an uplift driver. That's right. I could have been up Too true things have gone a little bit. Yeah. Yeah And and you're a comedian obviously this is true of most stand-ups who talks a lot about your own life shares very intimate things We now live in a culture where The audience the world at large feels like they have a right to interact with anyone who's famous in any way in any manner What is that experience like I would guess that you're dealing with difficult subjects that not all of the comments You get are fully supportive. Oh, yeah, that's a good question. Well, I Have a new approach to social media these days were like I really am not ever on anything So I don't see as I Don't see as much as many comments even like the positive comments to I don't really see as much as I used to During the first maybe say ten years of my career it was I pretty much only got Discouragement if that makes any sense, you know, like People that I worked with other comics sometimes were kind to me or like there were a lot of improvisers here in Boston who Made me think I could do this job But I don't know if this is gonna like shock any of you we were talking about this backstage I am like truly the first Part of the first generation of comics that could start out You know Ellen was well into her career and with her own television show when she came out in the 90s And then was blacklisted and had to like literally go away for a while before she re-emerged as a fish and This is all real And like Tig Notaro who's maybe in the like it may be one generation Ahead of me, you know wasn't oh wasn't Maybe like not closeted but like not not out like didn't start talking about her life her personal life And I'm just naming those people that's true of like everybody in that generation, you know like a lot of well Not everybody there were some people that were out like Lea DeLaria who's Who's like now on orange is the new black has been out forever? But she got orange is the new black and she's 60, you know, like she got that job five years ago or whatever that is, you know So, you know, that's how long it took for somebody who started out to have mainstream success And I'm really part of the first generation that like got to be out the whole time So yeah for ten years that was really really difficult for people like I basically just got told to shut up Or like talk about something else. Why do you have to talk about being gay talk about something else? I'm like well Do you want me to talk about being straight like I don't And also, I mean straight male comedians never talk about their sex life. So it makes that's true. It's Honestly, what do they have sex? I don't know How does it look when they jerk off? I don't know. I've never seen it, you know You know, so it was weird, right yeah, and so now ten years into your career Is that do you see? That being sort of the same for men and women in the LGBTQI community or is it is there something different? Yeah That's a good question. Well, actually just to give like a do you speak for all gay men? Yeah Yeah, well, I will well just to give like more accurate information I'm actually like 15 years in now So I'm not saying that but what I mean is the first 10 were really hard Then the last five have been really interesting where I've been getting like rewarded Right for being an unusual voice, and I'm like wait what like I almost don't trust it I will say it It is it is true that there has never been an out Gay male Mega star in the stand-up world There also hasn't really been a mega star that's like trans person or a non-binary person if you think about it that that's like Wow, that's true, and I think some of that is Who has been cultured to like take up space? You know, I think a lot of times Like it's just a numbers game that oh wow, I guess I'll get into like some gender theory or whatever but like Like there are a lot of lesbians who do stand-up because We don't care what men think of us, and it's very difficult to be a woman will we do? I mean I still do of course I'm cultured female of course Think about me except me think I'm beautiful like I don't even I don't want you at all, but could you like please validate me? It's very confusing But I think if you're a straight woman you know I Can like really get into this laughter is a submissive behavior I don't know if we know this but like I don't know I read this I've read like studies and like books on it. It's a submissive the person that's on stage is like The leader they're dominating You and that can and that can feel really good like it actually can feel really nice to be like held in that way But I think sometimes for men if that's a woman. She's a straight woman She's then gonna have like her life is gonna be hard. She's have a difficult time dating. She's gonna have a difficult time Figuring out how to find a partner because her partner is cultured to be threatened by her And I think that same thing kind of then extends to gay men where it's like homophobia against gay men is actually really Misogyny because we hate the idea that like being penetrated is like the worst thing that can happen to you And we think about gay men as a society we think about like the the sex act that gay men Do that also like a ton of straight people do but for some reason is like really gay It's confusing women also have buttholes. There's a lot, you know But I think that when you know, I bring up all that that all sounds like very tangential stuff, but like You know stand-up is like everything else where the all the same gender dynamics play out and I Really, I can't wait to see who the first Like gay male megastar is maybe jubuki young white. He's he's on the Daily Show now Or maybe Joel Kim booster But yeah, that'll happen someday There was one thing That you said in a special that I loved and I hope I wrote down and I probably didn't I Did not or I took the wrong piece of paper, but It was something you were talking about basketball shorts guy. Yeah, and Which is like a character in the special basketball shorts guy. He's actually nailed it. Yeah, and but and you said something like it was like You know stand up get in the way get in the way. Yeah, so yeah, I didn't even need to write it down. Yeah I know my you could ask me. Yeah, I'll tell you And and and I thought that was that was really interesting because You know people will come to me Because I I I'm a professor for whatever reason to look for me for advice and I'll say well, what can I do? I feel helpless in this situation this geopolitical situation What can I do and I thought that was really interesting without asking you to get into the whole thing What does that mean like what is that? What was he embodying there? Yeah, I'll I'll maybe like get a little bit specific with the story Then I'll tell you a little bit about how I've applied it in other ways and and then This would be like not to do your job But I bet this would be like a really good lead-in because for for for other questions because I feel like we're going Confab and then yeah, yeah, no, I just I feel like this is gonna be there's gonna be some like cool questions maybe they come from this so This moment that you're talking about You know I was an undergrad when I was assaulted and it was a friend and That person later approached me and it was very aggressive with me and it was another student a Dude who like stepped between us and he like It was a I literally don't even remember this guy's name like that is how indelible He as an individual was in my life. That's how close friends. We were not really close friends the person who stepped between but still like in passing this person has like changed my life and I think about how like he could have absolutely have chosen to just walk by and Let this scene play out and instead he stepped between and that is something that I'm so grateful for You know in that situation and it's also What I'm trying to do in the world with my career when I Make a special make it available for for free I'm where you don't have to sign up for a service a streaming service or pay for a subscription or for cable or whatever trying to like interrupt this System that we live in or I had a television show for a while. That's called take my wife and the very low-budget television show and we made a decision to Go for these really specific numbers in terms of diversity like in all female writers room that was also 40% people women of color and then also our cast was over 50% out LGBT actors and When our show Was canceled because our streaming service was just like was went defunct our show wasn't really canceled But we were able to release these numbers and we have these you know this is a Show that operated at like the 10th of a budget that a show on HBO would be at or like a 20th of a show on network television and we had these numbers these diversity numbers that that it like trended on Twitter and a lot of Media outlets picked up these numbers and because like we deliberately designed it so that it's like well We have like no money and money is time So we're making this show faster than you're making your show but we just went in with a mandate and this is what we were able to do and Being able to release those numbers felt again to me It's like these little moments to disrupt the system I put a challenge out to other people who are in a position to hire folks like here's what I was able to do you know improve on this and Yeah, so that's what I've tried to do in my career thus far and I think that's hopefully what I'll continue to get to do Oh After the streaming service shut down, then it was picked up Yes stars bought the show so stars is you can watch it on stars. Yeah, right. Yeah Another thing that I thought was was really fascinating about about your special about getting it online is that you don't You don't even need to sign up for a newsletter. You can go on and watch it. Yeah, you can just press play That's all you have to do. Yeah, it's worth doing Why don't we open it up to the audience and again come down to either one of the mice It doesn't seem like a super shy crowd, but oftentimes it takes one person to To get things started While we're waiting for that Are you working on Another special show what what else are you working on? Yeah? I'm about to go while I was working on a new hour this fall But I also just turned in the second draft of a book Wow I'm out trying to sell a new TV show right now. We'll see what happens there, but I Mean I lay a lot and then I'm gonna go back out on the road and I'm gonna work on the next hour of material But yeah, you know, I don't know still Who has a question. Oh, yeah, good. You know you got do you enjoy being on the road? Oh, it is so lonely It's so lonely. It's so lonely being on the road. It's also so nice. I love my job But sometimes I wish I could go home and see my dog. What kind of dog do you have? He's a sweetie Also, I'm a poet and I'm starting to perform my poetry and I was wondering because I saw Rape Jokes and I really liked it and meant a lot to me how Do you as a performer walk at the line of trying to talk about really difficult Experiences and trying to talk about stuff that isn't talked about enough but also Keeping in mind the fact that there is an audience that might be affected and might have feels to your feels Sure, you mean like What do I do about the fact that there might be that a survivor? Yeah, like what is what is your perspective on like trying to navigate that space? Yeah, I mean, I just feel like I Try to be pretty conscientious As conscientious as I can be but that being said like I am just one person and one thing that I think helps a lot is to make sure that you're Investigating your own experience and really speaking only for yourself because that's why I felt like I Could do a special like rape jokes because I felt like well, I'm not trying to speak about rape culture I'm trying to speak about my experience and the more specific and the more personal I am The more that speaks about rape culture. So I just I find that like You know, that is how we do the best work is when we just try to speak only for ourselves Does that make sense? Yeah, no it does. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, that's such a good question first quick thing is I One did you know our class numbers also our classes are also by numbers not just our courses I thought you might find that interesting. Everything's awesome here Um, what I want to say is like I don't know every gay person You know how they're like journey of like figuring out their game and whatnot and for me There's like a huge like time in my life when I didn't realize I could be gay and then I watched BuzzFeeds ask a lesbian Featuring you you're welcome You're welcome That's pretty much how I realized like I could be gay slash like definitely was So that's sort of like my turning point of my like, I don't know in my life a little bit me like in the hall I'm watching this video and so like you mean a lot to me And I was wondering if you possible to get an autograph either now or after the show Good That's so cool. That's the that's the whole goal is Convert lesbians. Yes Yes No, the whole goal is uh Don't I'm not saying this to like to be overly sad or anything, but I really didn't have anybody You know, I really have tried to be the person I didn't have like for my own little baby self Like I used to when I was at PC my girlfriend and I we used to take the train to Davis Square to go to the diesel cafe Where there's just like haircuts and I Don't know if you are I don't know if you that is in a two-hour Tea journey like that is like those could not be further apart. We would just go there I don't even think we I don't even think we ever ordered. We would just walk in and go like oh And then like leave, you know, so I really think it matters to see You know to see what you could possibly be so thank you for telling me that Story I got to learn how lesbians use condoms from your yeah Yeah The answer is as dreamcatcher. Yes as dreamcatcher's you lay them on the windowsill to dry you make a dreamcatcher. I Slapped in my own joke Yes, okay, so our majors and there's also a lot of lesbians you may have heard So I adopted daughter of lesbians and I really love your show take my wife And I'm also queer myself and I'm what and I really loved the scene where you Discuss adoption and I'm wondering if you could sort of elaborate on the story behind creating that. Oh Wow, oh, thank you so first of all yay. Thank you for you came here from Wellesley. Yes. Thank you so much for making that trip That's so rad. Yeah Thank you Yeah, oh my god, that's I like I'm having a complete blackout on specifically what the dialogue is only because I've done so much performing since then you haven't memorized every single thing you've ever done. Yeah. Yeah, but um What what is true about that about take my wife is that I made it with my wife Rhea butcher and It was the coolest experience making that show because what we got to do was talk about things that are real for queer folks and then to a room of people and some of our writers were queer and then some of our writers were not queer and so we would write these scripts that included like You know talking about like how expensive adoption is or like how you don't know what you're gonna do with your eggs You're like, how are you gonna get kids? You're gonna buy or steal? I'm like, what are you gonna do and You know, we would write these jokes And then here's the other thing that we did that like I'm actually so proud of is we hired Additional queer folks to come in and did a table read like for just queer people to be like Is there anything in here that doesn't ring like as true as it could be for like our community? Or how much where could we get more specific and stuff like that? so it's literally like two queer show runners and then with some queer Writers and then doing like we did literally we called it a gay pass like just do an additional You know pass on top of that and then also tried to hire out LGBT actors that the things that were coming out of our Melves were things that we had lived experience with and I just I look at you know what other I'm not trying to pass judgment, but I look at like Like there are some really great movies But so often when queer characters pop up in shows It's like a random room of straight writers trying to address a topic and then that's when you get like weird Like jokes about closets and you're like that what you know like doing I mean it's like so I think on everything in that in that show it was like Just trying to make something that felt really honest. I'm so glad you like it Yeah, it was really life-changing to be honest. Oh, man. Can I like in high school? Oh my god. I was gay Oh my god, like oh, I can't be gay because my parents are gay and then all the anti That's true Supporting the anti. Yeah. Wow. Oh my god. Well tell your folks. I say hi What it I'm so glad that thank you so much for telling me yeah all your life. Yeah rock on Hello friend. Hi My name is Sam Sam Really really happy to be here. Thank you so much for coming and thank you for championing the message that diversity is part of what makes this country good Yes, like really important I enjoyed hearing the snippet of story about basketball short-student and how he was able to step in and be an ally I'm part of the business school allies group for men who are trying to like whoa. Yeah What that's amazing that that even exists. Well, thank you business school allies Like we are literally there that it's that's that's fucking awesome. All right. Yeah, keep going. Yes I mean we accept all allies, but yeah, I love this actively, you know, yeah My question is basically about how to encourage more people to be allies Not just how can I be better which I would also appreciate your your advice? But how to how to get more people to recognize the need and understand how they can take action That's such a good question. And I I would say for me the only solution that has ever worked Is telling and it's like not unlike this the answer that I gave to you It's like is Telling people why something matters to me like I just I really feel like we're in this moment where it feels like we Like the inclination is often to like address a massive social issue sure But I find that that can turn people off You know or even overwhelm people it's like literally why I think stand-up is a valuable art because you're on You're you're on stage talking about like here's my experience. Here's my experience. You're not saying you're not it's not like Instructive it's not like here's what you should do. So I mean I would say Something that like if I were in your shoes, I could imagine Like you're you know hanging out with some buddies or whatever and you just talk about this thing that you're doing and why it's important to You and like let them decide whether or not they want to come in your direction But I just I think often, you know attraction works better than Like event evangelization do you know what I'm saying so I think that Like just talking about what you already do here in this room Now people know that's a thing that exists or whatever and like I think that's I think that's one way to do it cool. Yeah, thank you Absolutely. Yes Yeah, cool Yeah, yeah, go go go But I wanted to be over here Wow Wow, I don't walk all the way around. No, I know I feel wow first of all like that Way to know yourself Thank you. Oh Yeah, it's cuz I'm Cuban I guess so again, this is one of those moments where it's slightly weird to yell Good good good, um, I don't remember what I was going to say but stuff Um, I think it would be really great if you could have a little bit of a uplift session Fantastic especially considering no pressure, but hearing your stand up for like I don't know the past like 17,000 years I've been listening to you like for forever Oh, and actually because of my older sister who is also gay. Sorry parents You're welcome parents. You're like we're like Tegan and Sarah, but we're not the same age You don't know we could become a lucrative band Fantastic would be fantastic but But like growing up Catholic and like, you know, my high school's experience from your stand-up has seems very similar to yours, so no pressure, but your advice means a lot to me already even though you haven't given it to me it And I recently just stood up in front of a crowd and talked about two Two instances of sexual assault that happened to me It took me a lot of like Accept it because it was a girl and I was like, oh, I probably just didn't say no loud enough because it wasn't a dude Who was forcing himself on me? and so I recently just like Stood up in front of a crowd and talked about it Which was really powerful and I'm also currently taking a political class at Harvard, which is interesting And so right now I'm at I'm a senior I'm senior spring and I'm graduating and I'm like what the fuck am I gonna do with my life, right and Thinking about that experience. I had that was super powerful talking about Like not only LGBTQ stuff, but also sexual assault. I'm in front of a crowd of people I'm like, do I you know go into politics and change laws? Do I do stand-up comedy because that's also kind of a secret dream of mine? And like talk about it through humor because like that's how I you know Talk about my feelings through humor and Or do I like just join a bunch of organizations like Fenway health and things like that and just like How do I how do I make a difference? How do I make an impact or is it just like? That's that's where I'm at Well, first of all, I'm so sorry that that happened to you and thank you for it. Thank you for telling me and second of all, I want to say that I Think you're at an age where maybe you don't need to have the answer to that question and That investigation and information is so helpful, you know, I remember How overwhelmed I Felt at this time and like it's not like now in my life. I Never feel I've certainly have decisions again where I'm like is this the right thing to do next and sometimes in my mind I can get I can worry about is this the right thing Will this be the right thing to do in ten years or something like that? And That's very hard to know the thing that you can know is like what's the first step that you can take? So like the first step that you could take If you were gonna be a stand-up is to go to an open mic and sign up and Go on stage and the first step that you could take if you want to be a politician Is like probably to take the LSAT, you know, like You know and the first step for joining those organizations is maybe to join one of them and Go to a meeting and see how that feels So I would just say like I know if there's all this pressure and it feels like you have to know the answer But like I said, I did I mean I didn't start doing stand-up full-time or comedy full-time as my job Till I was like 27 so, you know 22 to 27 five years and sometimes people sometimes it takes people You know much much longer than that or whatever, but you know, I spent five years doing multiple things to figure out what was the right thing for me and That's okay, too. So I just would say The advice is to take the the first step see if you like it then take the second step and not worry about Changing the world, but worry about what you like That was incredible. It's my first step giving you five stars five stars. Yes. That's it five stars five stars Yes, yeah, thank you. Oh This person oh, I'm so sorry Everybody's killing it We probably have time for one or two maybe more questions Thank you very much for being here tonight. I've also listened to listen a lot to you like Special like at the beginning of my college years I'm a senior now and it did mean a lot to me And I specifically have a question for you because at some points in your life You've been very Catholic and now you're very gay Students so I proceed like this but I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it the same is true for me except that I grew up in very Catholic Italy and For some reason it's never occurred to me that there was something wrong with like being Catholic and being gay Just because I didn't feel quite as much homophobia in Italy even though I used to go to church regularly and like everything and then When I came to the US as a college freshman, that's the first moment in which I realized oh wait, there are people who have problems with me being like gay and Catholic at the same time and Well, that does it's a larger discourse. I guess it's like more of a personal journey but what felt really confusing to me about the US is that I felt in a way rejected by the Catholic community and I met at MIT because I looked gay. I had an undercut and But I also I guess but I also found that sometimes interacting with like presenting myself as gay was like, I don't know Weird for people who knew I was Catholic. So I just wanted to know what your take on that is Yeah, thank you for asking that question You know, I think my journey on it has been it's not it's not actually a Queerness that I think conflicts. Well, no, it is that too, but I just I grew up thinking that That that the church was About community and trust and doing the right thing in the world and I'm now at the point of my life where like I'm still For I will always consider myself like ethnically Catholic because I I really was raised in this specific way I can't like undo it in my brain But it was it was like in in college the thing that first made me Push away from the church was actually not coming out It was when I like was a theology major I read all of the stuff and I read what the church thought about women and I read like about being a vessel and why I couldn't be a priest and it it made me so sad, you know, like we are more than 50% of the world's population and The Catholic Church is one of the wealthiest organizations in the world They own they're like the third biggest landowner. They oh, it's like it's like the Queen of England the King of Saudi Arabia and the church and There's so much money and so much opportunity to do good work and instead like the more I investigated I was like, oh we went to like my faith went to Mexico and built churches on You know indigenous land or took a space that had been occupied by somebody else and killed the people in there and put a cross on it and I I Then and then I was at BC when the sex abuse scandal happened here in Boston and Right after I graduated I was saying backstage that like BC bought a parcel of land from the arch diocese That is budding up against the University and that money from that was then given to survivors of sex abuse They openly did this like it wasn't even like a weird backdoor deal. It was like BC said like we are buying this land from the church and the archdiocese said like we are going to give to survivors So my college tuition went to offset abuse and I just I I Don't know that I think that anybody has to make any particular decision about like whether you believe in certain things or whether you go to mass I'm just somebody who thinks that we have to look at things conscientiously and like this organization that I was born into I feel an enormous Responsibility to be honest about in the public realm like just because we have good football teams doesn't mean we're good people So that's kind of my take on it is that I just think it's like You know if it feels helpful to you and it feels beautiful to you and it feels like you can do good work from that Like cool. I just also want that to come with honesty about what that organization really is and really does Yeah, sounds like we're on the same page Yeah, we actually are yeah, thank you, but but you said it's so beautiful and so concisely. Yeah, thank you very much absolutely Yeah Thank you again Cameron. I so want the day to happen when your niece says are you pooping and someone says yes I am pooping I Want that for her too, I know She kept waiting for someone just someone to be pooping right None of you are Let me ask again Great follow-up question. She was not pooping that is what we all assumed That's how she was covering for it Are you pooping? But no, she wasn't I don't that would also be great if she was pooping and she wanted to just like oh, no It's not it's my my dad that 40 year old man You again so much for for coming again. I'd like to thank women and gender studies mind-hand heart Flores fund and violence prevention and response. Thank all of you for being here again violence prevention response We'll be outside our sign-up is outside and we hope we see you all in the future. Thank you