 Here's your channel, go for it. Is it live? Yes! Oh my gosh, it's live! What's up you guys? It's Adana, welcome back to my channel. I have Ant with me. What up? He's getting into the mode of doing this a little bit more with me. You ain't gonna see me up. You ain't gonna see me up. You ain't gonna see me up. No, no, no, no. Anyway, so I wanted to do a live because it's been, how long has it been? Dose annuals. It's been two years since I graduated from PA school. And then I took my boards in August, actually. I took my boards at the end of August, and that was when I failed the first time. And so, well, yeah, yeah, I failed once, and then I took it again, and I passed, and I'm a PA! Yay! Don't ruin the whole, that one ain't gonna watch that now, it's no more. No, this is good. No, because this is me looking back at- You haven't looked back at that video since you posted it two years ago. I have not. I haven't looked at it not once since, I don't even, I don't even think I looked at it. So for those who are new. I think I just made it and edited it, put it up on my channel, and then that was it. First of all, for those who are watching the rebroadcast of this and are new, the video she's referring to is a video of her reaction after finding out that she failed her PANIS exam. Yeah, which is our certification exam to become certified physician assistants. Yes, and it's basically, if you don't pass it, what? Then you don't work as a PA. You don't work. You go through all them years of PA school and then you eventually just don't work. So you gotta pass this exam. So you took the exam, and how'd you feel going into the exam? I was super nervous and I was scared. There was like a lot of thoughts about, oh my gosh, I can't believe this. It's here, this is it. If I don't do this, then I won't be a PA. Like I'll be a PA, but I won't be able to practice and I have all these people depending on me and rooting for me. So there was lots of fear and anxiety going in. I wasn't confident at all, honestly. Even with all of the studying that we had been doing. Then you took the exam and you had that long wait of what, a couple of weeks or something like that? It was actually, I think it was just one week. One week wait, so you had a one week wait. And then you finally get the results. So you know the results are here, you're excited to look at it, you're nervous. And then you see the results. And so we're just gonna watch the, this is the actual video footage of her, pretty much immediate reaction, same day. Yeah, it was the same day, within the same hour at least, probably the same 30 minutes, but yeah, immediately after finding out. So we're gonna watch this together. She hasn't seen this video in two years. And this is one of her most viewed videos on her channel of all time for good reason. Hold on one second, let's get this video thing together. There we go. Look at me, young Adana, two years ago. So this is the video you guys, if you haven't seen it, we're gonna watch it together. As you see, it was the September 8th, 2019. It's currently September 14th. Oh my gosh, that's, yeah, like a week later essentially. Two years later, Cherie said, I remember watching this, this is around the time I first started watching you. Oh, thanks. Yes, what's up? So, all right, so we're about to check this video out, baby, you ready? Yeah, let's do this. And then after the reactions, after you watch this, just talk a little bit about now where you are, two years later, all right? Two years later, here we go. Ooh, you sure you wanna watch this? Yeah, I'm fine. I know the outcome. Yeah, here you go. Ooh, my eyes, I'm already starting to, ooh, look at me crying. What's up you guys? Welcome back to my channel. For those of you... Daring up, too. I don't even get the internet out. What's up you guys? This is Anna, welcome back to my channel. For those of you who haven't already yet, so take a look around, if you like what you see, go ahead and subscribe. So, I want to make this video. I wish I could still get your intro out. I can barely get it out though. He does. All on feeling private, right? But I've brought you guys along on this journey, and if I did not... So, it's 10.30 on a Wednesday, and I apparently have sold close to $3,000 to sales on Amazon already. Let's get it going, all right. You know, do this, then I don't think it would be authentic to invite you on this journey with me. So, that's what I'm making this video. And yes, so, I took my boards a week ago, and all week, when I walked out of here, I was like, man, I changed my answers. I knew certain things were wrong, and you still choose it, just because you're not certain. But yet, I don't know if any of you will do that, but you still choose the wrong answer, even though you know it's wrong, just because it's familiar to you. And so, I felt like that after I took the boards, and I was optimistic, but at the same time, I was like, man. And this morning, the email came through. Like, they said that it's gonna take about two weeks, or you'll get your scores within two weeks, but I mean, mine took literally seven days. And the email came through, and my heart dropped, and I was like, oh my gosh, this is it. I remember that fail, and I was like, well, what am I gonna do in either situation, right? And I have all these people that were praying for me, and rooting for me, and I don't know if the patting on me is really the best term, but you have all these expectations on you. So, this really stressed, like honestly, the call week, but I was like, okay, it's here, so let me open it. So I came to the room and I told my husband, hey, I got the email that I hadn't opened any ads. I dropped my keys off to school, and then I came back, and I was like, sorry, he was like, do you want to do it now, or do you want to do it now? And I was like, let's just do it now. And I opened it, and when I pulled it up, I was like, I can't even remember where to go, like you've seen a long time, I was like, I don't know where to go. So I went to exam, and there was like, you're eligible to register for the pianist. It was like, well, that doesn't really sound right. Like if I passed, why would I need to register for the pianist again? So there was another tab that says to be your sports. So click on that, and it comes up, it shows your date, and you know, the exam, and you tell them that. It says like, pass or failed, and so I said, failed, and I just picked it, guys. I just, I'm pretty devastated, to be honest, really. And it's not to say that I had anything lined up with respect to work or anything like that, but a lot of like, what I went into the test with, and like, just everything that I've been dealing with is, you know, I didn't want to disappoint anyone. So like, I've been doing this, and like you guys have seen me, you know, succeeding in things, and it's hard to show when you've succeeded in something that you've been working towards. And so for me, like, I was waiting in the audience, and like, I didn't even know that the stress of like, okay, so like, you know, have a tough and long, and have a tough and weak family, and the people that have been great for me. Like, I don't want to be in disappointment to anyone, and I don't want to let you guys down, or, you know, feel, feel like, really like a failure, honestly. Yeah, I agree, I'm being honest about everything. I suppose I remember all the questions. So, so that's tough. So I wanted to make this video because I wanted to be authentic and real with you guys, just like, you know, like where I am in this path, becoming a PA, there's so many things waiting, I mean, I mean, like, almost like, negative and racist people are like, yeah, we talked to each other at the same time, just to feel like that, and you know, like, I just, like, I so badly wanted to, like, prove everyone wrong. I guess you could say, like, I just wanted to do this, and be like, look, like, God did this for me, and, you know, it's all for his glory, and this, it still is, you know, like, obviously, like, this is a learning experience, and there's, it can't sit up here and be like, oh, okay, and like, God left me, or anything like that, like, it's nothing like that, but I really, you know, I just have to take some time, because I did not feel like, by much, and like, in my head, I'm like, look, you shouldn't have even felt, period, like, you shouldn't even be that close to the cutoff, but it was only like a few short points away from the cutoff, but even still, I think a lot of what I went into the exam with, like, the whole not knowing just being super nervous, and just kind of feeling like, oh, okay, like, I have to do this, I have to make sure that I pass. I don't want to let anyone down, any of my followers, just subscribers and family members, not even really thinking about myself or say, but like, I don't want to, I don't want any of that, and like, I feel like so embarrassed that, you know, that I didn't pass on this first time, but I'm gonna take it again, so I have to wait 90 days-ish before I can take it, before I can register for it, you know, obviously you can, so like, that's why I'm gonna probably have a package, but anyways, like, obviously, you can take it any time after that 90 days, but I don't know what I'm gonna do, like, how long I'm gonna take, I have three months, obviously, to study for this exam and retake it, and I'm gonna let you guys know how I do on that as well, you know, I'm gonna always be authentic with you all, so at the end of the day, like, that's what this video's about, like, I'm sorry, you guys, like, I'm sorry. But, I mean, this just goes to show, there are ups and downs, and you know, like, not everything on social media, Instagram, stuff, it is just about the happy times, even though that's what we typically post, so I just kind of want it to be real with you guys, and just kind of let you in on where I am right now, and, you know, I'm gonna keep on with this journey, and bring you guys along throughout this process, that I'm gonna go through next. I guess, if you have any questions, please leave them in the comment section below, and thank you guys so much for following me on this journey, as usual, I will talk to you guys next time. Trying to put on a smile, look at you, try to put on a smile. Oh, I couldn't even say my bye. Hey, so even before, even before, fingers out, even before we talk, I just want to get it down real fast. For those who are watching to rebroadcast this and stuff, for watching this, if you are one of them OG subscribers and followers who've seen this video two years ago when it first happened, please write in the comment section, what was your reaction at that time? You know, like, what did you think at that time after she shared that? Because I'm curious to know you guys' thoughts as a viewer, as somebody who followed her and maybe looked towards her and loved what she was doing and then seen that she failed, what was your responsive reaction to that? Let us know in the comment section. But I want to know from you, Adana, you didn't have to do that. Like, you didn't have to do that. Many people fail their exams, they're not the only one. There are others who have failed their pants and they don't tell nobody, right? Why is that and why did you decide that you felt that you should share? I mean, I feel like as a culture, like as a PA culture, like we're all about like making sure like, you know, we're good, like we show like the good in the PA profession and in the culture because like we have so many, you know, as APPs in general, like NPs, PAs, you have all of these other professions looking at you like, oh, you're, you know, you're less than almost. And in school, it's very much like, we want 100% pass rate, we want you guys to make sure that you're passing. And that was like drilled into us. So, and we're competitive, a lot of us are competitive. So when you're part of this culture that like both being competitive and who's the best or whatever the case may be, to then be among the minority, you feel, you know, in terms of like not passing something or not succeeding in something, that's tough. And so that's why typically we don't talk about like grades in PA school or what scores you got on anything. And then, you know, if you failed the board, it's like you, you're graduated, you've left school. Like you don't necessarily have to tell anyone because you're not necessarily keeping in contact with them like that. So you don't have to say anything. But for me, I wanted to make the video to be authentic as I kept saying, cause like why, why would I say like, join me on this journey and then be so fake to be like three months later, like, guys, I'm bad. It doesn't make any sense. It's not authentic at all. So I was like, let me go ahead and make this video now as I'm here because if I wait any longer, I probably would not want to make it. And then I thought like it was actually really, it was really cool to see afterwards after making the video, how many people like don't pass their boards on the first time and feel, and were able to connect with me with my emotions on like feelings of disappointment and failure and all of those various different things. And then come to me on that aspect of like, so what did you do next? And how did you prepare and how do you move forward? So just another aspect of, you know, being able to be there and be good for people. Jai Ron said, when I saw you failed after not seeing your vids for like four months that year, I was disappointed. You bounced back, which is all part of the journey. That's real. Like they were disappointed. I'm sure a lot of people may have felt that way, you know? Like, I mean, I was disappointed. It's a disappointing situation. Yeah. My morot, I started praying for her. Man, thank you. I appreciate that. I needed all those prayers, honestly. Cause I was in like a deep, deep depression, I would say for that first week. I knew that God would use it to help others, which no idea how much he did. Leslie, what's up Leslie? Leslie said, I thought she was brave but knew she would pass the test later. Your vision or plans is really a rough draft. Nothing perfect. Absolutely. Yeah. And Cherise, I just thought about how brave you were to share. Yeah. I mean, I thought you was too. So real quick before I have to step off, reason why I'm on here is to share my reaction. Like, what was my thought to this? Because what happened was she went in, typically, you know, she would film but you know, I would like set things up and everything but she went in there, she filmed all by herself and I didn't see the video until I went to edit it, right? Which really wasn't much editing to it. Just do one of some intros. But so I watched it and so I'm a punk you guys. Like I'm an emotional dude. Like I'll cry off of a cartoon. Yeah, you cry. So when it came to watch it that man, I was just crying and I mean, but the thing is it's like, there's another video on her channel if you haven't seen that. It's the actual video footage of the moment she saw her results. It's the actual moment where she's looking at them together. We're looking at it together. She's looking at, I'm filming her thinking. I'm thinking she passed. Like we passed, right? I'm definitely thinking she passed. So I got the camera ready and everything. I'm like, all right, let's go. I'm ready to go crazy. And then we kept it on camera of her reaction, her genuine at the moment reaction to finding out that she didn't pass it. So I was there for that moment and even that, that was like she at that moment right there, it was done, like she was crying everything. So my reaction was just, it was sadness, but it was more so just to be, how can I make sure that I'm there to be there for her to come for her? And to really encourage her, like I really tried my best to always encourage you and make sure I push you and do my part. And sometimes she don't like the way I push, but she know I'm doing it for the right reason. So that was my reaction. I would love to stay and talk more, but I got to run to a little meeting. So you can finish and talk to them or whatever, but hey, I appreciate you guys. You guys, please be sure to go ahead and subscribe to my wife's channel because she's the dope-ness. And right now, please wrap this thing up with telling them where you're at two years later because the failing wasn't the end of the story. It was the freaking beginning of the journey, you guys. That moment after you failed, there was three months that you had to go next and grind it out, right, for three months. So three months, she grinded her butt off and then after that she took it again. So take them on that journey. Are you telling them? I'm a storyteller, I'm a storyteller. He's always narrating, you guys. I'm a storyteller, you guys. Anyway, I'm out of here, y'all be good. Love you. You just sliding through there. Y'all, we shot. How you doing? Y'all, you know what I'm saying. Y'all, great. I'm gonna slide back. Okay. I might accidentally touch your breast. Anthony, please. Sorry, guys. Sorry about that. Stop! Oh my gosh. Okay. So yeah, like Ant said, you know, there was three months because with the pants you have to wait 90 days before you can schedule the test again. So there was three months that I actually just kind of, I took a week of like just wallowing in my sadness. And then after that I was like, okay, and I'm like, you gotta do, you gotta do better. So I got up and I like made a plan, a study plan. I used Roche Review. I used pants for curls. And I used Dwayne Williams's like 600 question book. Just because I wanted to get like as much practice as I could possibly can. I also used Kaplan as well because the more you're able to do Cubanks the better. And I planned out a schedule for me that I actually put up on Get Thest University for anybody that is studying for the boards as well. And I just studied. And I still lived life and I took breaks, but I studied. And I don't know if I didn't study enough because we had like a whole month of school towards the end where we were, no, three, yeah. Was it a month? A month of summative where we were just studying. And then obviously we took exams every day. We took tests throughout PA school. So I don't know if knowledge was like the crux of me failing. I think a lot of it had to do with just that fear and anxiety of letting people down. And honestly, I think maybe part of it might be a little bit of like being comfortable with the knowledge base that you had. But all of those thoughts and stuff meant nothing because I passed the next time in December. And I immediately got a job, got a few job offers. But the one that I chose, which I've been on for over a year and a half now, as a trauma PA, I got hired on in February of the following year, which was pretty cool. And y'all, it's been amazing. I love what I do. I love trauma, although I didn't think I would like it as much as I do. I get to see a lot, I get to learn a lot. I get to do a lot. I have a lot of skills that I get to hone in on that I didn't really get to do a lot of while I was rotating. And the best part of this is also just being able to kind of share in some of like the, I guess it's not really failures per se, but the disappointments, you know, the missteps that other people have that don't pass the boards, kind of be a sounding board for them as well because it's really lonely to be, to feel like you're the only one that didn't pass, and I feel like there aren't enough videos of like, hey, you guys, like I didn't pass, or not enough people saying, I didn't pass my boards the first time to allow people to see like this happens, but there is like a light at the end of the tunnel. So that was something that I did. I'm gonna read a couple of comments. It says, your video on how you bounce back was needed. I also failed in currently studying for retake. It sucks, especially when literally everyone else in my class fasted. Thank you for the motivation. Yeah, I mean, honestly, Jose, that was me too. I was the only one that didn't pass my boards that graduated with my class. And so, and that, you know, I felt like, man, I would be like the last one to not pass. And maybe that was a humbling moment for me as well. But at the end of the day, I realized like, you know, this is not it. It's like my pants score is not an indication of how great or bad of a provider I'm gonna be. And I think it goes to show because like I feel like I do a really good job with, you know, the patients that I have, and how I communicate with my nurses and my, you know, my techs. And I think we all have a really good relationship. And so a lot of this is, yes, just getting that initial knowledge and that's what the pants is about. Like testing your overall knowledge on all of these different specialties, essentially, but you're gonna be kind of super specialized and you're gonna be a really master of that particular specialty once you get into practice. Jarron said, Jose, brother, you got this. Remember, we can't walk anymore. When we can't walk anymore, the Lord carries us. You can do it. Yes, indeed. So, yeah, that was that, man. It was not easy. Telling my mom was not easy. And I mean, it should have been like the easiest person to tell. And she didn't even care. She was like, oh, I'm sorry, you know, but you got this, like you're gonna be fine. But I had so much anxiety. And so I think my encouragement to anyone that is taking an exam or doing something that they're really like going hard for and may happen to like stumble in and not attain it at that moment is to keep persevering. Like, you know, if you continue to pursue it and continue to like make yourself better, you know, don't just stay stagnant because in those three months, I could have literally just been like, you know what? I don't even know this stuff. I'm gonna just go ahead and schedule it again and retake it and not try to make myself any better. So I think as long as you're continuing to study, make yourself better, you know, get that knowledge, but yet pursue it, then you're gonna be fine. If this is whatever space you're in is what you feel you've been called to, then keep at it. And ultimately you will hit the target. There was something, there was something, let me see if I can hold on. There was something that I heard and I wrote down and I thought it was so profound. Let me see if I can find it for you guys. I hope it aligns with this. I think it will, but it was really, really good. It was when I was in church last week. Put that back on. I can't find it, you guys. I don't know where I wrote it, but it was actually pretty profound, but it was something along like if you're like, you know, trying to shoot for something, if you don't shoot for something, then you won't obtain anything. Maybe it's in my text message. I really want you guys to get this because it was super dope. And I think like it's important to remember, if you aim at nothing, you hit nothing. And that was like a statement that was stated when I was at church. And I think that that is really important. Like so if again, if you're aiming at nothing, if you're not really trying to attain anything, if you don't continue to pursue whatever it is you were initially trying to pursue, then you're not gonna obtain it. You're not gonna hit anything. So just keep aiming, keep pursuing and eventually you'll hit that target. All right, if you guys have any other questions for me, please leave it in the comment section below. I will be listing who the winners of that Ross review giveaway is on Instagram. I'll probably do it tomorrow, you guys. So if you still wanna be a part of that, you can leave a comment section below as well so you can study for the pre-PA test, which is the PA cat and you can use Ross review to get in on that, okay? Thank you guys so much for watching. I will talk to you guys next time. Bye. That's the bye that I usually like, but I couldn't do it at the end of that other video. But bye guys, talk to you later.